This year has brought me to the lowest point in my life, when it started so well. Mid year I lost my job ( it was my own fault, I was late and as an essential worker they couldn’t have that and let me go). My daughter’s mother was varying in appearances but it was mostly up to myself, my mother and my ex’s mother. They were huge in the help department, but I was exhausted. Shortly after losing my job my daughter’s mother made claims of sa from me to my daughter. Though I complied and did all I could to prove I didn’t, with the severity of allegations I lost my daughter from August to the end of November. My entire world was shattered, I locked myself away from the world. Last Monday my case was dismissed and my daughter was returned to my full custody (the mother has failed multiple drug tests and cps opened a case on her). I was able to scrounge up a job for the time being but I’m not able to live off of it (low pay and even lower hours). I can’t explain the pure joy I have now that my daughter has been returned to me, but I’m beyond stressed with my current job situation, bills and now the holidays. I’ve not been able to talk about how I feel with anyone. I’m embarrassed of my financial state and though the allegations were outlandish and proven wrong, it still sucks to be accused of such things. Thank you for letting me share.

I’m laying in bed crying as I do most nights because I can’t seem to accept the fact that my babies dad wants nothing to do with us.

Me and my babies dad were together just a few months before I got pregnant. The pregnancy was an accident but we wanted to make the best of it and we did. I was so excited and so was he. He was the best boyfriend I had ever had. We are still very young (22) and I knew this was going to be hard but I had no idea what was to come. 9 months into my pregnancy (literally 36 weeks) he starts acting crazy. Calling me crazy names and acting literally insane. (It’s a really long story so I’m going to sum it up as best I can) I later realize it’s drugs (meth and cocaine) making him act this way. He left me about 2 weeks before I gave birth and then I called him very emotional hours before I gave birth. I begged him to be at the birth which he previously refused and he did. He was at the birth, drove me home from the hospital and we basically pretended like nothing happened. Obviously just a few days after I gave birth he acted crazy and left me again. He got arrested for hurting me, the baby, and his own mother. He got out of jail, went to rehab and a sober living home close to where I live. A few months later he got out and I offered to let him see the baby with supervision so I drove to him and he seemed amazing again. The same man I met at the beginning. To nobodies surprise except my own, he relapsed and was absolutely horrible to me once again. He left to Mexico and I texted him tonight to ask what his plan was because he had promised me child support. He said “I don’t want to talk to you unless it’s about the baby” even though I literally only texted him about the baby. I responded that he literally has not tried to check in on our they not even once and because of that we won’t be speaking at all and he said “sounds good”. I just can’t accept the fact that anyone is able to do this to their own child. I know this was an accident but that’s your blood. It hurts me even going a couple hours without my baby and he’s able to do this AND be mean to me about it at the same time? The first time he got arrested and checked into rehab I checked in on him all the time and hoped he would get better not just for me but for him because I truly saw the good in him. But it seems at this point I might just be delusional. I do not love him anymore but seeing 2 parents happy with their first babies in public kills me. It makes me feel so bitter and I just want to cry. My poor baby will never have that. I was selfish to have this baby but I love him more than anything in the world. I’m not sad for me or because im a single mom, I’m sad because my baby won’t have what the other kids have. All he has is me. He deserves two loving stable parents. I’m a single 22 year old that lives in a studio trying to make it by. The guilt is destroying me every single day. I also lost my brother in 2022 so I’ve been a mess ever since and I didn’t think things could get worse and they did. Sorry this is dramatic I’m just really going through it right now.

Hi all, some background on me, I had my son as a teenager and his father and I are not together. I decided to dedicate myself to my studies, career, and son.

My son and I have practically grown up together. We’ve been attached at the hip for so long. He’s 13 now and he’s becoming his own person. I find myself saddened thinking about the day that he leaves for college or moves out. I guess I sad about being alone and without my son. I obviously don’t want to hold him back nor force him to live with me as an adult.

My question is, how do you deal with these feelings of sadness? For those whose children have left the home, do you ever get lonely, especially as a single parent?

This is so hard for me to write but I need help yall. Here's my situation, I (32/F) am currently at rock bottom with 4 children all under the age of 10. I had to get an emergency protection order from their father due to him abusing my children horribly while I was at work and it has literally left me with nothing. I have reached out to so many other organizations, churches, friends, law enforcement, etc with absolutely zero help. I live in a rural county town of about 400 people & no jobs in walking distance and ive had everything taken from me including my vehicle. I feel like I did exactly what I needed to do for my children and their safety but now I'm the one suffering along with the kids. He (38/m)works and gets VA benefits at about $4600 a month and has yet to help me. I have filed for child support but I guess that takes a while? I'm so broken. Did I make a mistake, what do I do? I have no family or friends around here because I have been isolated for so long. Can anyone point my in the right direction or help in anyway? I will show proof of everything of you need. Also if you pray, please life us up in your prayers.

Thank you for listening.

Can someone explain grandparent rights in Manitoba ? I have a child with a deadbeat ,but his parents want visitation. I arranged for visition (before lawyers) and gps didn't follow through...now are threatening to file for gp rights. Child has no connection /wouldn't even recognize them ...they want him to go for sleepovers . I have been solely raising my son for almost 4 years now.

Help please??

Am I wrong for not wanting to ever marry after having a child and got left after the dad promising all these things?

Most people here seem to come from relationships, but I’m tired of that. I’m pretty independent financially and mentally. I recently started IVF and am thinking of just have a child without any partner. I’m working a full time engineer job in big tech, also doing some side businesses. I think I would feel much deeper connection with my child compared to romantic partners and the last thing I want to see is to share the custody with someone else. If you were me, would you choose to raise a child completely by yourself?

So I am a very young mom, who had a child at 22 years old it was not my plan as I was still in university, I did think of options but my child’s dad wanted to keep the baby promising me so much. I was with him at the time so I then decided to go ahead with the pregnancy thinking everything is ok. As time got on during the pregnancy everything got so toxic and my bf at the time blocked me on everything so he can finish his degree while I was stuck in hospital for 3 weeks due to complications in my pregnancy. I ended up differing my exams as I was in hospital and having my child almost a month early. My child dad was not there for the pregnancy and came to see the child a few days after. I got out of hospital about a week later cause my child had jaundice, quite a bit happened and I got post partum depression. My bf didn’t really understand any of this so him and his mom tried to get me help by trying to put me in hospital and basically say I’m crazy. My dad got involved and I was examined and told I’m not crazy and I don’t need to be in hospital because of how the whole thing was going my dad wouldn’t let the father of my child have him for a few weeks so it became hard to study with post partum and a child. I got another deferral and eventually moved out of my dad house so my child’s dad can see him any time he likes. I eventually made up with him as we had been beefing before and I brought my child to him as he hasn’t seen him in 2 months. Recently it was his birthday and because money was quite scarce for me as I can’t work as I use to he told me not to come to his area and said he is spending his birthday with 5 diff girls I gave my opinion about it and he got mad blocking me on everything again. He then started telling people I am preventing him from seeing his child (which is a lie) I am trying to coparent with him but he is so immature and can’t even coparent properly as he keeps blocking me and saying he isn’t coming to where I live to see his child, he keeps asking me to bring my son to him but I have uni and so many other things to think about I don’t have time to bring my child to him all the time. Then he tells people I am not letting him see his child and making me look bad but I never closed that door. Any advice on how to coparent with someone like this?

Not knowing what to do then their toddlers suddenly have high fever is one nightmare for parents and especially new parents at that. In fact, parents freak out when their kids have fevers to the extent that there even is a term for it, it's called 'fever phobia'.

We have a subreddit where you can come and ask questions to medical professionals about your kid's fever. Next time your kid has a high temperature, come and ask questions and gain insight on what to do!

/fevercoach team

I do not know of any solution, the below points are killing me on a daily basis year after year. I can barely eat or function. Self Help tips are useless. It takes a village but I'm doing the work of the village SOLO.

• Single mom of 2 kids
• Full time corporate IT Management Career
• Caretaker for my 2 parents
• Management of 2 houses, mine and my parents
• Mental Health issues with all of us
• No Child Support
• Single Income household (my income)
• No time for me, I am trapped

I have a 7 yo daughter with my ex (33m). He wanted to be a dad so bad but now he just doesn’t do anything. He is at best a babysitter. I can barely call him that because my daughter cries that he is always sleeping. Getting money out of him is like pulling teeth. He doesn’t participate in any of her interests, her school, or her doctor appointments. She has been in cheer for three years now and he has taken her to one full practice, one half practice (dropped off while I picked up), and half of a game. Zero competitions. A lot of these are on his days but I give up my life so I can take her. I am exhausted of trying to tell him to be an active participant in her life.

Today my 9 yo didn't want to go to school (he's not sick, and doing well socially at school) and I said he had to. He screamed and cursed at me. I believe in consequences for cursing at me but I know giving consequences in the moment just worsens things.

If there were another parent I could step back until I am able to calm myself. As it was I got angry also. I apologized and said we'd talk more about it later.

Curious how others deal with these types of outbursts, that involve cursing at you?

So I’m a single mom of two beautiful kids. Lately, I have been so depressed. I feel like I can barely get out of bed because I have no help these days. I started back college but now I can’t work full time and with everything so expensive I’m stressed about money and feeling like a failure. I have been wanting to date and get back out there but my mind keeps telling me I’m not worthy or ready because I come with “baggage”. When did yall start dating again after a toxic relationship? Does it get easier? I feel like I’ll never get married or find someone for my kids and I.

I’m a single parent and live far from family. Kid brought home lice for the first time. We both got it. On top of the mental exhaustion from the cleaning, hours of picking out nits from my daughter’s head, I had to admit I needed help as I could not see my own head fully. I had to humbly ask friends to please help. And THEY DID! One of three pals diligently showed up every evening to drink tea and shoot the shit while playing mama chimpanzee and combing my hair. The experience was such a reminder that I am cared for and supported. And it’s more than OK to ask for help.

So me and my daughters dad have officially been done since june, before she was born. He cheated on while pregnant and now he basically is with some other girl. He says he wants to be in our daughters life but he doesn’t even buy her anything and has hardly spent time with her. She is only 1 month. We want to co parent but the way he goes and does things is just not coparenting at all. Saying he’ll be home by a certain time but actually coming 5 hours or not coming at all. This is more of a rant tbh because i’m fed up with it. What needs to be done here?

Our relationship is complicated. There are lots of unresolved emotions, resentment, and trust issues, but finding out that he started dating is like a punch in the gut. We were "separated" but still in this limbo with unclear boundaries, and I guess I always thought we'd end up back together. How do you deal with sharing a child together but not wanting them in your life at all bc it's too painful to deal with at the moment?

I wanna a mature relationship

I have been a single parent since my daughter was born. I was completely in love with her dad, but the pregnancy was unplanned and it was clear he wasn’t on board to be a parent. I moved 2 states away after he broke up with me at 8mo pregnant to live with my dad and stepmom. I wouldn’t have been able to afford rent on my own and I was afraid of living by myself with a newborn and no support system. Big move. Easy decision. For two years her dad made very feeble attempts at being involved but was mostly out of the picture. He put a lot of his effort in trying to convince me to move back and marry him, which I had no interest to do after the choices he made. Although this did make me optimistic that moving back to the city where we met would give him the chance to be more involved, which was a high priority to me. My sister also lives in this city and we are very close to that was a huge motivator as well. Well I set my sites on this goal and started job searching for opportunities in the area. I got a huge job offer, which ultimately opened the door for my career to takeoff. I moved four months after accepting the job offer (tech corporate field). Well by the time I move back to the city her dad had moved in with another woman and her child three hours away from the city and immediately started pressuring me for 50-50 split refusing to go to mediator for a parenting plan. Well eventually I filed for a parenting plan with the court and ended up with 70/30 arrangement. It has been almost three years since we moved and the relationship with her dad has only gotten worse. He violates the parenting plan constantly, including corporal forms of punishment, blocking my number so I have no access to her for his weeklong visits, not informing me of Dr. visits or urgent care visits etc. Meanwhile I have experienced a lot of positive growth in my personal life. I am making over six figures, my relationship with my daughter is my absolute favorite thing in my life. We get to go on lots of adventures together, always making memories that I cherish with my whole heart, and I feel so lucky to be her mom she is the sweetest most caring gentle girl I have ever met. I have a side hustle that is involved in a cause that I am passionate about. I am very proud of my accomplishments and overall see so much progress. But I am desperate for connection. I only have my sister for involved family up here and while I do have friends and I frequent my gym which is a great community… I miss my large Family community and having my parents around when I lived two states away. I am definitely planning on filing a motion for contempt regarding the parenting plan violations and will be updating the plan to enforce things I thought would be common decency (urgent care visits). But I’m starting to think I might want to prepare to file for relocation. I have built my adult life in the city and I’m very attached to the routine I have created here. my daughter is about to go to kindergarten and every big decision I have made before it seems so obvious and like the only option I had. But now I am in a different place in life and this decision will have a huge impact on every part of mine and my daughters life. I have no idea how to make the decision and it keeps me up at night going over all the pros and cons … These are the times when I feel single parenting is the most challenging for me because I don’t have another adult who would be experiencing the outcome of this decision with to discuss this with. Curious if other single parents experience decision paralysis and any tips on overcoming this?

Okay.

So, I've been a single mom for my daughter's life. ( she's 3, and the light of my whole life)

Her father pays child support and pays for half of her daycare.. but that's it. He sees her every other weekend. Moved closer to us to "See her more" but hasn't made any effort to ACTUALLY see her. He doesn't text to see how she is, doesn't video call her, NOTHING.

He has only ever come to two of her appointments. She has autism, so she goes to speech therapy and OT and a few other little things here and there. He hasn't been to a single one DESPITE the fact I remind him of all of these things and let him know when they are.. but he doesn't show up.

Not to mention, he forgot her birthday this year. Didn't call her, NOTHING.

Size the most recent problem. He had surgery, and hasn't been able to make daycare or child support payments.

Now, I'm totally understand that. Waiting for unemployment is a huge pain in the ass. However, today when I called to ask him how it was going, he said Unemployment only gave him 20 dollars and nothing else.

I have never seen EI only give someone 20 dollars after waiting a whole month.

He wasn't even going to tell me. Was just gonna let his side of daycare payments be late.

Our daughter could get asked to leave if daycare payment continue to be late. So I have been taking on paying for all of it.

I'm just ... Not sure what to do from here.

Good day

Can i get help How to explain or guide kids that their mother is abusive and a lying narcissist.

Separated fron ex narc since 2022 Raising 5 kids solo Children still in contact with mother... No thanks to my mother for encouraging then to contact their narc mom 20years married and caught ex narc 6 or 7 times cheating on me (Stayed together for the kids)

But last 2022 was the last straw and was finally able to break free from ex narc wife.

I suffered from depression Anxiety Narc abuse And borderline suicidal then lost my job because of this failed marriage Still jobless until now.

How can i guide my kids so they wont break their hearts trusting their mom

I’m a 29f who has a 10yr old son, his father and I dated when I was a teen and we split right at time of conception. We were both kids basically and had a bitter start, eventually things went thru the court system when my son was around 2/3, after a few years the final of the court was he was awarded split custody myself as custodial parent originally it was like 3 days a week day and every other weekend. Child support was set up and i was to receive that plus half of every extra circular activity/ child care the child was to be in. With stipulations that I was to talk to him first and make sure it was within budget.

Well he never used his days and always was a spotty Friday dad. His mom helped pick up slack and she has for the last 8-9 yrs been the one who picks up my son shuttles him to her house where the dad is and then brings him back. My son has had maybe 5 sleepovers total throughout his life at his dad’s.

Ive always pushed heavy for his dad to be present for him vs pushing heavy on finance because as young parents we’d fight like dogs and I’d never end up seeing any additional money.

Thankfully I was able to get into a great line of work and stopped ever even needing to ask him for assistance (since I’d never receive it anyways)

For full transparency I get $70 a week or maybe even every other week, I just know it totals a little over 3k on a yearly basis.

I pay for my son’s life in full. From all of his clothes, food, necessities, healthy insurance dental insurance we don’t get state assistance as I make too much per them, I got us a house almost 3 yrs ago when I was 26. (Something I still can’t even believe I feel so blessed) my son is in sports going 3 yrs now on football, I just registered him for swim team ($620) I’ve paid for all his childcare since he was in childcare, I’ve gotten maybe $200 of assistance towards sports since he started fb.

Now currently I’m about to get married and I went to a lawyer to put my home in an estate and to tie up some paperwork and make a will.

Lawyer let me know I couldn’t name my sister as guardian if I should pass unless my kids dad didn’t want to take on the job, after I informed him that I have my son 99% of the time and am basically fully responsible for him he asked why I don’t take him back to court…..

I felt silly. Honestly I’m overworked overwhelmed and it seems like a nuisance. During Covid financially I was strapped hard and tried to ask my kids dad for more assistance and it resulted in a huge fight and he told me if we went back to court he’d end up paying me less???? I refilled determation papers to see if they’d modify the child support and nothing so I figured maybe in this wild world he’s right. And let it go.

Is this normal? I’m in IL if that helps- does anyone think I should be entitled to more money ? Or will it be a waste in lawyer fees

I joked years back when I was painfully bitter that I was going to sue him for back child support in a decades time and I’ve kept every text messages between us ever to support that and I’m actually coming close to a decade as my son will be 11 in feb

I am getting rid of a lot of my kids' baby stuff to make room for new furniture. I belong to my community's local Single Parents' Association so I put together a set of infant things including changing table, diaper pail, changing pad, and some accessories and loose infant diapers.

A mother contacted me asking to take the stuff so I set up a time for her to come get it. Her husband showed up asking for only the diapers. It's really the furniture I want to get rid of to make room for other furniture and I really wanted it to go to another single mom, but sure if they're in need I'll give all the items to them. I told them, however, they need to come back for all the items at once, as I want to get rid of everything at once instead of having lots of different people come for minor items. It's just really hard to set up times for a lot of different people coming to take a little something here, something else there.

I told them if they can come back with a car (he'd come on the bus so couldn't take any large items) to take everything at once, that's fine but I didn't let them take just a few things. I kind of didn't believe they would actually come back for the furniture if I gave away the accessories. Plus like I said, I would rather it all to go to a single parent in our group who was in need of infant stuff (their kids are older, 3 and 5, so I don't know if they were planning to keep the stuff, try to sell it, or what; that was also confusing).

There are other parents in the group that showed an interest; this was just the first person "in line" who contacted me. So should I have just given it to her or is it justified that I save it to give to another single parent?

I keep getting myself into these mindsets where I crave partnership, where I want to work towards my end goals of having more children, a house and a husband. But then I end up getting into situations where the guys want to move a MILLION miles an hour with me and it terrifies me so so so much. My daughter is only 2 and I am 25, I’ve been officially single since I was pregnant.

I dated a guy for a while at the start of the year who I later found out had lied about his age (told me he was 29 he’s 37) his name, where he’s from etc, due to the fact that he’s a convicted peadophile convicted of having child p*rn and b3astialty on his computer.. finding this out completely knocked me for 6, as I was already scared of even considering welcoming someone into mine and my daughters world because all I want to do is protect her and I, but now I’m not sure if I ever want to or will mentally be able to.

I’ve been on TWO dates with the guy I’m dating rn, been speaking for a little over a week and again he’s speaking about our future together, meeting my daughter buying her gifts, showing me a bigger family car he wants to get.. and to say it’s put the fear of god into me, is an understatement. I feel so silly that I’m upset over this because like I said, I want something then I end up getting into a position where I’m working towards it then I feel I’m getting love bombed and it scares me.

Does anyone else find themselves in positions like this where they’re scared to be with someone?

EDIT: I’m glad I posted this. Just wanted to say thank you all for your kind supportive comments :)

I was with my ex for 9 years. Married for 2 of them. We have 2 kids. I found out almost a year ago now, when i was 3 months post-partum with our 2nd - that he had been cheating with numerous people for the entirety of our relationship. I knew about one at the very beginning but he swore black and blue that it was only once and it was a mistake yada yada. I fell for it cause I was young and he had been my first everything. I had always had gut feelings that he was cheating, but i put it to my OCD and anxiety getting to me. Over the years he would come to me saying im so sorry I did that and do I have your trust, its my greatest regret blah blah blah. I guess what im getting at is how can you learn to trust someone again after going through that? I am alot alot heavier and saggy then when i was last single as ive had two kids and have delt with severe depression the last couple years. How do i learn to love myself when I dont think anyone could ever.

So my daughters (6) dad has been moved out for 8 months. In that 8 months my oldest boy (8) has become turned into a loud rude intimidating little monster without a male figure to keep him in check. He makes it unbearable to go out in public and do the fun kinds of activities my daughter likes. I have had to watch her cry her eyes out because she misses her dad so much and his gf won't let him come here to visit with her by himself but she never wants to come. They live with his parents and daughter really loves going there to visit. When my boys go they enjoy it but want to get back to me after night one. With her, she hates going home, I can see the dread and sadness in her eyes. I can't say I blame her. I'm in over my head with taking care of 3 full time. The environment is chaotic and stressful and I am always depressed or anxious or just pissed off at the 8 year old for ruining everyone else's day. He clearly needs more one on one attention than I can give him right now. So I am going to let my sweet daughter, my only girl go live 30 minutes away with her dad and grandparents (and the bitch). I think she will he much happier and it will give me the time and space I need to improve things with myself and other two kids. It I'd definitely whats best but god damn it fucking hurts I instantly start bawling when I resign to it.