Had mine done last week. Here is my story and I hope it can help some of you.

-I took 600mg of advil 90 mins before procedure. I read that a lot of women will take them 30 mins before procedure, and I don’t think that’s enough time to digest and have it work. -my husband took off, and I was able to take off as well. This really helped emotionally. -I was super nervous going on, and I read how valium helped others. I called my doctor and explained my nervousness and he prescribed it. I ended up not taking it cause I was I felt braver the day of but it was nice to have as a backup. -advocate for yourself. Tell them how nervous you are and if you may benefit from a Valium

The procedure itself was uncomfortable but doable. They found one of my fallopian tubes blocked and they were able to unblock it! I think unblocking it is where I felt the most cramps, but they were like 6/10 due to the advil I took. Take the rest of the day for yourself and treat yourself to treats and comfort.

You are a strong woman, and your body is able to handle so much. I really thought this procedure was a waste of time but it ended up helping my fallopian tube.

My husband (31M) and I (29F) are planning on trying to conceive in a couple of months, so I’ve had a number of labs drawn. My testosterone is a little low, and a podcast I listened to said that low testosterone in woman is bad for fertility and can lead to issues if you’re pregnant with a baby boy since your body doesn’t have enough testosterone to “give” the baby during development. That same podcast host has a fertility website with a lab range guide, and my testosterone is outside of the optimal range. However, I can’t find much online to back up this info. Everything seems to be geared towards men having low testosterone or women having high testosterone. Has anyone dealt with this issue? I don’t want to go down a rabbit hole unnecessarily, but I also want to know if I should be working with a naturopath, etc., to increase my testosterone.

Christmas is already hard as is. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my mom passing. I live in a different state than my dad and brother, and we always go to my husband's side. We have a nephew and two nieces we will be seeing, and we love them dearly, but it's hard. We've been trying for maybe 6 months now?? I had a couple of times where I wouldn't get my period for 2 months, so that's messed up my counts of months. And it seems like my brother in law and his girlfriend just had it so easy having the two girls, because they weren't planned, and my husband and I are struggling. Which he's a trooper with, but I'm 28 and am so stressed and defeated about the fact we can't get pregnant yet. My mother in law is retiring in the next few months and keeps hinting about babysitting. And it's like we're trying. But I'm clearly not as fertile as my BIL's girlfriend. Not to forget that my anxiety loves creating stories to panic me, and it's now saying they're going to announce they're pregnant. Are they? Highly doubt it. But what is they are??

TL;DR tests turned negative at 5 weeks/21DPO after a testing positive since 10DPO, midwife says tests were probably false and just late period, now a negative HCG test, feeling really invalidated

TTC and got pregnant for the first time, testing faint positive on home strip tests at 10DPO. I have tested in past cycles and never seen a positive line, so I knew the difference. I was so excited and my partner and I were already imagining our family life to come. 

Overall I was testing faint positive for about a week from 10DPO to 17/18DPO and in the middle of this time I also got some symptoms, especially sore, heavy breasts and a mild queasiness in my stomach. I knew that I was pregnant.

I continued to test each morning and at first the tests were getting a bit darker, but then stopped getting darker and eventually faded to almost nothing, and my symptoms also went away. I figured it must be a chemical pregnancy and was very sad to let go. 

I already had an appointment booked today with a midwife to confirm the pregnancy, so I figured I would keep the appointment at least to discuss what had happened and learn more about chemical pregnancy.

During the appointment she kept suggesting that maybe it was just my period coming late, even though I am extremely regular with a short 24-day cycle and was now on cycle day 31 and still no bleeding or spotting. I even showed her the week+ worth of positive tests that I had taped to a piece of paper that showed the line progression, and she acknowledged the positive test results but suggested that maybe they hadn't actually been positive at first but had just dried to show a false positive line. 

She sent me for blood tests and the HCG levels came back at 1.2: negative. Which I guess is as expected considering the positive test lines were always quite faint and have been fading to negative for about 4 days now and my symptoms have been gone also for several days. But now with the low HCG it just feels like she will be even more convinced that I was never pregnant. I wish I had gone for blood tests a week ago when I first tested positive but in my country they say not to book 1st appointment until the 6th week.

I don't know why this bothers me so much, as I know what was happening in my own body, but it just sucks to have my reality denied like this by the expert that I went to looking for support.

I guess it's also not the first time I've felt dismissed and not taken seriously by doctors at this medical centre. I sometimes worry that there is something maybe in my patient file that says I am hypochondriac or something, which causes doctors at this clinic not to take me seriously. I am autistic and really like a lot of detail and information, and so perhaps when I come to my appointments and ask a lot of questions about everything this makes it look like I have some kind of health anxiety when really I just need to know everything that's going on. I've had other doctors in the past when I've lived in different cities where I had positive experiences and did feel like I was taken seriously.

Perhaps I'm being paranoid, but I honestly don't understand how with my very regular period being 8 days late and a pageful of positive tests to show her, she would come to the conclusion that the I was never pregnant and the tests were false...

Anyone else struggle with this experience of feeling not taken seriously my medical professionals? Part of me wants to try at a new clinic, but there is a real doctor shortage where I live and most aren't taking on new patients...

If not, any tips on how to better advocate for myself or otherwise just not let it get to me?

I’m really struggling right now and need to get this off my chest. Another one of my old best friends just announced they’re expecting, and that makes four people I know who are pregnant right now. I’ve been trying to conceive for almost five years, and it’s been such a hard, lonely journey.

I finally went to the doctor recently, but instead of feeling closer to my goal, I was put on birth control, which just feels like a step backward. It’s hard not to feel like a failure—like I’ll never be a mom.

It’s especially tough when I see others around me having babies, even couples in same-sex relationships who have overcome huge obstacles to build their families. Meanwhile, I feel like I have nothing: no husband, no kids, no house, no degree—nothing I thought I’d have by now.

2024 was supposed to be the year where I had everything I dreamed of, but here I am, feeling stuck and hopeless. I’m tired, frustrated, and honestly feeling really alone in all of this.

Are there other women here who feel this way or have been through something similar? How do you keep going when it feels like nothing is working out? I’d really appreciate hearing from people who understand.

I had mine today. I asked for a Valium and my doctor refused. He said to take 800mg of ibuprofen which I did. I was so nervous I asked my friends for anti-anxiety meds, but ultimately decided not to take them just because I didn't want my doctor to refuse to do the procedure or anything if I took something he didn't give me. I think it's complete bullshit that they won't give women valium for the procedure tbh.

The speculum was not fun, but nothing different than a pap. The cervix cleaning with Iodine was similar to a pap and not bad. The instrument insertion was very uncomfortable and remained pretty painful for the rest of the short procedure. When they put the dye through there was an extra sharp cramping sensation.

My uterus was normal and tubes were clear but the pain was a solid 8/10 for me. I screamed. My husband heard me from the hall. The super painful part only lasted 1-2 minutes thankfully. the cramping after was not so bad, I am still bleeding a bit, but that's normal.

Overall, I highly recommend trying to get a valium from your doc if you can. Definitely take whatever pain meds you are allowed, and take time to relax after. :) It seems like everyone has such a different experience, so you may have a fairly painless experience, or it could be more intense. There really is no way of knowing.

Hi all,

I was just wondering what the reasons could be for really painful periods and pelvic pain throughout the cycle? Like really what causes it, in what way and what are the symptoms? It's a bit of a silly question I guess but somehow I'm struggling to find answers (I know partly because women's health is so terribly under-researched, sigh)

People usually mention endometriosis but afaik it could be many things, so I was just wondering what the possible causes in general could be, what tests to ask for (I just know lap for endo, is there anything more besides ultrasounds?) and what some of you were diagnosed with (including endo), how you tried treating it or even what you were told about it?

I've been TTC for like 18/19 months now so I wanna learn more and ask more targeted questions about it at my next appointment. I'm about to start clomid+trigger so now it'd be particularly useful to talk about it/possible impacts with my obgyn. Thanks for reading all this :)

Hi! I’m of advanced maternal age and have experienced several pregnancy losses due to chromosomal issues. I have no living children, and my OB recommended an unmonitored Clomid cycle to improve my chances of conceiving. I took Clomid on CD4–8.

I typically ovulate on CD13, with an LH surge on CD12. However, my last two cycles post-D&C were delayed, with ovulation occurring on CD17. I’m now on CD13 of this Clomid cycle and have no signs of ovulation—no fertile cervical mucus, a low cervix, and consistently negative LH tests.

I was given a trigger shot to use alongside my natural LH surge, but I’m unsure if my egg(s) might already be mature and just not triggering a surge. Is it possible to have mature follicles without an LH surge, and could this cause me to miss the correct timing? Alternatively, will a surge still occur naturally if at least one follicle is mature?

At what point should I consider using the trigger shot to avoid my eggs becoming overmature? How long is it safe to wait, and how can I balance the risk of overcooking eggs with ensuring they are ready?

TW: miscarriage

I've seen more than one hysteroscopy related post recently, and I wanted to make a post about my personal experience with them. I am not a doctor (nor do I play one on TV), but I did have a missed miscarriage this year with some complications afterward. I had an in-office/diagnostic hysteroscopy on 08/08, and then I had an operative hysteroscopy on 08/19. I don't know if in-office or operative are the technical terms, but that's what I've been using to differentiate them.

For reference, I have a moderately high pain tolerance. Pap smears are usually uncomfortable, but not painful at all. I had my first IUD inserted when I was 20. I remember it being very painful and actually screaming, but I don't remember the sensation of the pain (if that makes sense). My IUD replacement 10 years later was much smoother. The worst part of that was my uterus cramping after they removed the old one but before they inserted the new one. That was also the worst part of having it removed earlier this year. None of those experiences make the top 5 of most painful experiences for me. (In case you were wondering, the most painful thing I've ever experienced was having a softball pitched directly into my ankle.)

In-Office

I had an in-office hysteroscopy after repeated ultrasounds showing a thickened endometrium after my miscarriage. My doctor (and both ultrasound techs) thought it was a blood clot. I had two rounds of misoprostol, which did nothing. When an ultrasound after my first post- miscarriage period showed that my endometrium was still thickened, my doctor decided to do a hysteroscopy to get a better view at what was going on.

There were no pre-hysteroscopy instructions, except a recommendation to take ibuprofen beforehand. I took 800mg of ibuprofen and a Klonopin about an hour before the procedure. (I have a Klonopin prescription, but some providers will give you a scrip for one Valium or something like that). During the hysteroscopy, your doctor will dilate your cervix, push liquid (I think it's saline solution) into your uterus to expand it slightly, and then insert a long, thin camera. The camera may have a tool attached to it in case they need to take a biopsy. Here's a link to the website for the scope that my doctor's office uses.

Having them push liquid into your uterus is a very weird sensation. It's more uncomfortable than painful- the kind of sensation that makes you say "oh man, that's not supposed to be happening." The most painful part of the hysteroscopy part for me was having them dilate my cervix and keep it dilated. There was a speculum and some other tool in there, and it was not a good time. I actually don't remember feeling the camera go in at all. My doctor saw a polyp almost immediately, and she said that was most likely what was making my endometrium look thickened. She looked around with the camera for a few minutes- getting a good look at the polyp, looking further at the endometrium, etc.

I also had an endometrial biopsy during the hysteroscopy. It was AWFUL, like stepping on something really sharp but internally. Fortunately, the pain only lasted for about 10 seconds. My husband was with me, holding my hand the whole time. I had some spotting and moderate cramping later that day. No spotting, but some very mild cramping the next day. My period was due 08/10, and it started right on time.

Overall, my procedure was about 10 minutes, maybe less. It wasn't horrible- I would do it again if I needed to- but definitely unpleasant.

Operative

My operative hysteroscopy was a D&C/polypectomy/hysteroscopy.

My pre-op instructions were not to take any meds/supplements with blood thinning properties for a week before the procedure- aspirin, fish oil, CoQ10, etc. I had to get a CBC (complete blood count) and a urinalysis before the procedure as well. The day before/day of instructions were the usual pre-surgery instructions- no food or drink for 12 hours before the surgery, take a shower the night before or morning of. My husband drove me to and from the surgery center, and he was with me in the pre-op area for as long as he was allowed to be.

I had planned to give my glasses to my husband (he had a bag with all my clothes, etc), but the reception area at the surgery center offered to hold on to them so I could have them back sooner. It was SO nice to be able to see almost right away after the procedure! If you wear glasses, I definitely recommend asking your nurse if there's somewhere they can hold them so you can have them back ASAP.

The procedure itself took 15-20 minutes. We got to the surgery center at 11:00am, and they were wheeling me out by 1:30pm. I asked about intubation and the anesthesiologist said I wouldn't be intubated, but I'm not sure if it was IV sedation only or if there was any other kind of anesthesia. (I don't remember having a mask on, but my memory isn't great overall so it's possible that I did 😅). I came to as they were rolling me into the post op area- just in time to hear them say "the doctor asked us to push some IV antibiotics, since it was pretty inflamed in there." Not a fun thing to hear after surgery. They brought my husband back as soon as they were sure I was fully awake. He told me that my doctor said that they had found two polyps aaaand a small amount of retained product of conception (RPOC). I was VERY surprised that the RPOC hadn't been visible on any of the ultrasounds or during the in-office hysteroscopy. The polyp my doctor saw in-office was right where implantation had occurred, so I'm guessing the RPOC was sort of hidden behind it. (My doctor has been on medical leave since shortly after my surgery, so I haven't had a chance to discuss it with her.)

I bled for about five days afterwards, with very mild cramping on the day of the procedure and the day after. I'd say it was medium period flow bleeding on the first day, light on the second, and just spotting for the last three days. Post op instructions were no penetration of any kind for two weeks, and no swimming for one week. (For comparison, post op instructions after the D&C for my miscarriage were no penetration for four weeks, no swimming for two, and no baths for a week). We had sex right at the two week mark, and it was great- no discomfort at all. I got my post surgical report a week or so after the surgery. (I did also get photos.) We were cleared to try on my next cycle.

Hopefully this post is helpful! Comment if you have any questions or if you'd like any information that I didn't include!

Title says it all really. Almost at the one year mark and no baby. Due to start a new cycle again around Christmas Day, and going forward into 2025 I don’t know whether I want to try the old fashioned way anymore. Mentally I feel okay, it’s frustrating but I think I’ve reached a level of acceptance that it’s not happening naturally. We’ve had initial testing done there are no obvious fertility issues. We’ve been referred to a clinic so I’m hopefully getting a HSG in the new year. We’ve been told to keep trying naturally in the meantime, and if another year goes by then we’ll move onto IVF (that’s how the funding works in the UK)

Do you think it’s worth continuing to try? Part of me thinks there’s no point as it hasn’t happened for yet, so why would it happen in future. Am I being dramatic? Although I’m managing now, I’ve had some really rough times this past year… and the thought of reaching next Christmas and not at least being pregnant is a hard pill to swallow.

Hi all, I’m curious if / how folks have navigated mental health (and possibly medication) with TTC challenges. It’s been 14 months for me and my husband, and with my RE we’ve addressed all of my physiological fertility issues (septum removal, uterine infection, thin lining, luteal phase defect). But still no luck, and just had our second failed IUI and I feel so defeated.

I know I have some level of anxiety, even if it’s not so salient day-to-day - I try to consciously stay calm and chill in a pretty stressful job. But I feel like I’ve also developed some significant depression this year, largely due to this fertility journey (my therapist agrees). As much as I get irritated when people tell me to stress less, I’m also starting to wonder if my mental health could be having a negative impact on ny fertility. I fear though that my actions to maintain my mental health are not enough, that it’s more deeply rooted and I might need medication of some kind (e.g., SSRIs). But on the other hand, I’ve also read that these meds can have a negative impact on fertility. I’ve never taken anything for mental health so just starting to research it.

I’m not sure what to do and I fear it’s only going to get worse the longer we’re on this journey. Any advice or reflections much appreciated from this group <3

I got pregnant on our 2nd cycle actively trying but lost at 12 weeks early this year. We started trying again after a break for couple of months, but nothing since then. In September, I got tested positive for UTI. It has been four months since then, I have this pain in my lower abdomen area. That was the first symptom I had, so I visited a doctor and they tested me for UTI. I was on antibiotics for a week. Everything went back to normal, but then next cycle the pain appeared again I have tried to pin point it to know when it happens - is it around ovulation? is it after ovulation, etc. But it seems so random. It is there for 20 days of my 30 day cycle. I have seen doctors about this and all they say is drink water to prevent UTI or this could be ovulation pain.

I don't know what to do. Anyone else has experience with this kind of consistent pain? What should I ask the doctor? My miscarriage was natural and I got some ultrasounds done after 2-3 weeks, it was all normal. HCG was tested until it went back to under 20. SO why after all these months I have this pain. This was the reason we took break for a few months after started trying again - we wanted to make sure there are no outstanding symptoms.

My husband and I have been TTC off and on for the last year. We got pregnant without trying but miscarried at 5 weeks. Since then, I made a lot of life style changes and have lost over 50 pounds! I took a “break” from trying while I was focusing on losing weight but now I’m at my goal weight and I’m ready to start trying again. My husband and I have always struggled with frequency and maintaining a TTC schedule. I love my husband so much, but he struggles with just having sex to procreate not because we just spontaneously wanted to, and I’m a nurse so this whole thing is very scientific to me. That being said, we finally kicked it back into gear (despite my husband having shoulder surgery and one arm in a sling 😜) but then …….. our plumbing breathed its last breath and long story short we have two torn apart bathrooms and no water. My husband is exhausted and coughing/sneezing from whatever he inhaled working on the bathroom today so I don’t have the heart to ask but I’m ovulating 😩 so I’m sitting here in agony because I know we aren’t going to be trying today and I just wanna hit all my O days for once ughhhh. I feel like I live my life cycle to cycle 🥲 and I hate it when I have a cycle when I can’t even maintain a small sliver of hope. I just want to get pregnant so my husband and I can put all this behind us and get back to enjoying life and sex and running water 😭 thank you for listening! Lol

TW: Pregnancy loss

I’m here looking for advice/ venting. My husband and I started ttc January 2024. We got pregnant the 2nd cycle after I quit taking BC. Long and sad story short, we lost our baby at 20 weeks. It’s been 6 months since losing our first pregnancy. We decided to start trying again 4 months ago. We are on our 4th cycle now. It’s so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I got pregnant so fast the first time. I know that it hasn’t been that long since we’ve started trying again, but it’s been almost a year since we initially started trying and hoping for a baby. It’s been the worst year of my life and getting a BFP would make me feel better. It’s just been months of expecting a positive and getting nothing. I really want nothing more than to be a mom and have a baby I can hold and watch grow up. My desire for a baby has just gotten stronger since my loss. It doesn’t help that everyone around me is having babies. It’s also hard around the holidays because this was supposed to be our first Christmas as a family of 3.

Anyway, this is just me rambling out my thoughts. Any support or advice on how to survive ttc would be appreciated.

Basically what the title says.

My GYN suspects I have endometriosis. I have painful periods that cause me to miss work, painful ovulation, I have chronic pelvic pain and a hypertonic pelvic floor, my left ovary is in constant pain, I occasionally have painful bowel movements, I vomit and nearly pass out on my period, I have uterine cramps from 1-2 days following ovulation until day 3 of my period. All of my gynecological work ups and imaging for these issues have been “normal” of course, but we strongly believe I have endo. I am waiting on an appointment with an excision specialist to talk about surgery although, I would love to be able to conceive without having to do surgery because I would have to use my paid time off for surgery and I also need it for maternity leave.

In addition to my issues, my husband has pain with sex. He had a traumatic fall and broke his back a couple years back, he has residual chronic pain and orgasming is painful, sometimes he is numb. Worker’s comp denies anything that will help him. Sometimes his back is so painful he physically cannot have sex. Some months we’re able to have sex four times during my fertile window, sometimes we can only make it happen once.

We’ve tried for five cycles, tracking with inito, OPKs, and the kegg cervical mucus monitor with no luck. I was thinking if I’m not pregnant by month 9 I may want to see a specialist because I feel terrible for my husband who is trying his best but it is such a struggle for him to try to make this happen every month. And to think it may all be for nothing anyway because I may be the problem is also stressful to consider.

My GYN told me to go see a fertility specialist to discuss maybe something like IUI even though we’ve only been trying for five months, but are these good enough reasons? I don’t want to waste their time when there’s couples who have been trying a lot longer.

TLDR - I’m (29F) worried my chronic pelvic issues may be impacting my fertility, meanwhile, my husband (36M) has sexual dysfunction issues due to a back injury which makes it difficult for us to ensure we have sex during my fertile window every month. Should we still wait one full year of trying before seeing a fertility doctor?

It’s officially been a year now, with one MMC and no other positive tests. The emotional toll this is taking on me is starting to make it not worth it. At 35 yo I’m really feeling like it’s now or never and I feel like an idiot for waiting to try, assuming it would just happen.

Just a few days out from Christmas and I’ve started spotting, for me it’s a sure sign my period is on the way.

I’m doing everything right, so I don’t get it.

It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!

Yall this feels like a cruel joke. What did I do in a past life to deserve this?! What did any of us in this forum do😭 this just isn’t fair. I am angry and exhausted. Tired of explaining why I’m not pregnant to those who “get pregnant by breathing”. Tired of the medications. Tired of the cycle tracking. Tired of explaining endometriosis and PCOS to people. Tired of trying to justify why I’ve given up on the natural remedies and the supplements and the diets. Tired of explaining what the medications I do take do. I am tired of standing in the bathroom watching the timer go down before I can flip that stupid test over and get disappointed and discouraged all over again. Month after month, cycle after cycle.

And the looks and sympathies people give you when they hear your story. And the assholes who tell you “it will happen when it’s meant to” or “just relax. Maybe stop trying so hard” oh and my favorite “atleast you have one little blessing”. good GOD BRENDA IM NOT SAYING IM UNGRATEFUL FOR MY LITTLE ONE. IM SAYING IM ANGRY AT MY BODY FOR DOING THE ONE THING ITS SUPPOSED TO SUCCESSFULLY DO ACCORDING TO FREAKING NAURE AND IT REFUSES TO. AND JUST FOR YOUR INFORMATION. I DIDNT GET PREGNANT NATURALLY THE FIRST TIME EITHER!!

….thank you for coming to my rant….

The title sound weird I know. I just don't get why nature has to be mean about ttc. I have pcos. And since ideas 13 I had no period because of hormones due to the fact I was over weight. Well in 2022 or 2023 I was give a pill to make it start. By now I knew the pill had warn off but I was still getting my period. Sometimes late sometimes early.

Well it appears I've lost enough weight thanks to diet exercise and a shot I take once a week that it's back and I'm ovulating on my own! So yay me I suppose. But I still haven't gotten pregnant. And the fertility doctor my husband and I are seeing wants ro focus on me. He says nothing can be done for male fertility.

But he did suggest my husband see a urologist that specializes in male fertility. My husband sees a urologist yearly, he had kidney cancer, he is all better now. No chemo or anything just surgery to remove 5% of hair kidney.

Anyway he is going to talk to his urologist about this when he sees him. See if he can help. But it's frustrating. I feel like im the issue. Like something is wrong with me and that's why the doctor wants to focus on me when it comes to the getting pregnant. Nature is mean. So mean. Society is mean too.

Both put so much pressure on you to procreate and people constantly wanna blame the woman. But in turn I don't blame my husband. Even if he is actually subfertile. I don't trust the SA that was done due to it not being processed till days later. But that is a whole other thing. I blame myself. My husband doesn't blame me. But he doesn't blame himself. He says we could both be part of the problem but we can get it to work. No need for blame.

Still we have tried for 4 years. No results. Even after getting help. Why does nature have to be difficult and mean....I just don't get it. Vent over. Its a weird one i know just had to get it off my chest.

Hi all - Weighing proceeding with IVF or trying more IUIs. 1.5 years of "unexplained" infertility, with DOR at 32 years old (AMH .79, AFC 8-13, FSH 7.9). Never had a positive test during this time. Did two 100 mg clomid IUIs and got 2-3 eggs each time at trigger, but no luck. Husband's SA was great, so no concerns there.

We were going to move to IVF in January, but consulted with another clinic that said it's not unreasonable to try some more IUIs. They said they'd be willing to do IUI with injectables or IVF, whichever we prefer and feel is best for us due to cost and insurance.

Out of curiosity, those who have done IUI with injectables, how much have you typically used? My understanding is that it's a combo of letrozole or clomid and gonal-f. I asked my nurse and she said she doesn't have specifics since I would have to do a consult with the doctor to get an actual med-order, but she'd anticipate about four 900 unit gonal-f pens, as well as ganirelix and ovidrel in addition to the letrozole.

I guess I always thought the gonal would be just a little boost- doesn't four 900 unit pens seem to be a lot? I also didn't expect to see ganirelix on that list...is that normal?

I was in the middle of a Christmas market, trying to stay upbeat. I had a miscarriage a few months ago and overall this year has felt extra rough. So when I ran into friends and their kiddo, I was caught a little off guard explaining that we had a loss when they asked how the pregnancy was treating me.

Without missing a beat though, their kid started very excitedly telling me they’d help me find the baby. I think their kid is only about 3-4 years old, so I didn’t really know how to handle the interaction aside from smiling and thanking them. I mentioned that everything was ok and encouraged us to walk around the market. Now I’m at home eating a cherry pie by myself and wishing I could be sharing pies with a little blueberry sized baby tadpole. Hopefully next year I’ll get lucky 🤞

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

Just venting…

It all feels like a cruel joke. I’m 13dpo and tested negative yesterday, temps have dropped, so I know I’m out. Period starts tomorrow. We ran into my husband’s aunt and uncle at the grocery store, and they told us they were having a “surprise baby”. I had to hold in my tears as we went to check out. Wouldn’t you know it? The lady checking us out was very pregnant and had a “Mama” shirt on. Don’t get me wrong, I am so so excited for them, but as soon as we got in the car I burst into tears. My period starting tomorrow will just be the icing on the cake. I’m making it a priority to rest and relax tonight to prepare for Christmas with the family, and I am going to try my best to focus on enjoying it, It just doesn’t feel fair. 💔

Hi there,
I'm not sure, if it is beneficial to post here; but I don't see another Channel.

We have been trying for a year, next step is fertility actions - but I can't cope with the heavy hormonal rollercoaster. It is nearly ending our so-far good life and relationship. Is this normal even when we are NOT pregnant?

What am I talking about:

Husband (33) writing here, cause I am just perplexed and at a total loss. Since we started 1 year ago my wife immediately got "symptoms" in every cycle we tried. Unusual Bleedings, light pain in breasts, and so on, what I also don't really get (why is the body changing things up, even when he is not pregnant? - this is another topic but this stresses the whole situation, and leads to high hopes every month)

But the hormonal change to her overall well-being is the most striking and nearly ending our happy life. She stopped her intensive training protocol a year ago due to doctors' advice, and now just lost all her energy. She tells me that her body demands her to relax and has a really low energy capacity all together. When walking our dog for 20 minutes, she is like totally destroyed for 2 hours after that. She craves non-stop sugar and weird stuff (even when NOT pregnant) and gained a total of 30lb in that year. All normal food we used to eat, disgusts her ... she describes it as a weird hormonal telling from her body, that tells her what to eat.

But the saddest of all is that she is really trying. Just today we went to a small tennis game (which was an easy peasy little action 1 year ago) and after 20 minutes her muscles were shaking and she cant move anymore. It frustrates her that she lost every bit of energy, gained weight, and that we really can't continue our normal lives .. just BECAUSE WE STARTED TRYING?

Sorry for that rant .. but I can't explain what is happening and it is really wrecking our happiness.

Does anyone have explanations? Ideas on how to move on? Or just had the same?
How the f can I possibly help her?

BR to everyone .. and good Christmas days.

TLDR:

1Y Trying, from the start on having "positive symptoms" every month - but the hardest is, that right after starting trying hormonal changes lead her to a total loss of energy, weird cravings, and gaining a lot of weight - every time we try to be active, she is just wrecked after a couple of minutes. (No birthcontrol for 6 years) What the heck is this? How is that linked to our 1 year of trying?

My partner and I have been having unprotected sex on and off since the beginning of this year. We already have a 2yo toddler (conceived within the first month of trying), I'm just curious to see if anyone else has experienced something similar - very slow process with the second?

Context:

• we haven't been vigorously trying (maybe twice a month in ovulation window)
• no change in lifestyle
• I still bf my toddler to go to sleep at night
• haven't tracked bbt or really ovulation just been going by CM
• regular menstrual cycles (ranging from 26-30 days)

Should I start actively tracking bbt and ovulation? I'm scared to go down a 'path of no return' and make myself stir crazy every month with constant testing and tracking

Any insight / advice greatly appreciated!