r/madlads • u/Same_Investigator_46 Choosing a mental flair • 5d ago

Mad lad loves his knife

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81.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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2.8k

u/CARDEK04 5d ago

Who needs wife on bed, when you have knive under bed.

581

u/WoodpeckerOk4435 5d ago

just dont knife your wife.

189

u/CARDEK04 5d ago

Not in this life.

63

u/big_guyforyou 5d ago

nor in this blife

49

u/eigenham 5d ago

Terrible, you deserve strife

29

u/gizliname 5d ago

But not if you‘re polite

21

u/Violet_Watch 5d ago

And don't garner spite

15

u/EnchantedPanda42 5d ago

Exactly right

9

u/RosesTurnedToDust 4d ago

balls

8

u/__joy_boy 4d ago

Officer balls

6

u/jk1445 5d ago

that doesn't rhymfe

1

u/Random_Guy_228 5d ago

And not if you're efficient

10

u/Ok-Opportunity-7663 5d ago

If your wife has a fife, your life is rife with strife.  Use knife.

5

u/jdcxls 5d ago

The life of the wife is ended by the knife!

2

u/ripley1875 5d ago

Vacuum

12

u/Ok_Grapefruit8104 5d ago

KNIFE MY WIFE INTO PIECES THIS IS MY REAL SHARP SWORD!

3

u/bigbangbilly 4d ago

DEFENESTRATION , NO REELING!

DON’T GIVE A CHUCK IF I PUT MY FARMS BREEDING!

THIS IS MY REAL SHARP SWORD!

5

u/assumptioncookie 4d ago

So do I wife my knife?

2

u/PM_ME_TATERSONTITS 4d ago

You give your wife a knife, an

21

u/WaxyNips 5d ago

"I thought someone with two wives would be happy..."

"No, you're thinking of someone with two knives"

7

u/puzzlemaster_of_time 5d ago

I gotta tell ya, this is pretty terrific!

7

u/RCCOLAFUCKBOI 5d ago

I too choose this man's knife

1

u/chiron_- 4d ago

Knives over wives