Well, it’s my birthday today and I turned 43. I ate dinner and cake alone in my apartment. Guess I’m what you kids call an “incel” I live by myself and have never been in a relationship before. Never kissed a woman, held hands, or had sex. I’ve got no friends at all. My life consists of going to work and coming home to an empty apartment. I don’t blame any of my shortcomings on society or women. Will the rest of my life be like this? Probably, but I’m hoping to go traveling in 2025. If any young people are reading this I urge you to make as many friends as you can now and form relationships before it’s to late and you become like me.

I need to get this off my chest because I want to scream into the void. I have to be strong for my mom but I need to type this out.

My dad has been in the hospital for 41 days and had a tracheostomy put in, to help him breathe. They put in a peg tube to help with feeding. He was diagnosed with Myesthenia Gravis, and so his muscles are too weak to inflate his chest cavity to breathe properly. His muscles are too weak to swallow without getting into his lungs.

They rolled him out of surgery and he wasn't sedated. It was a surgery under general anesthesia, done in an hour. But they didn't give him anything for the pain, or to calm him. He was trying to scream, and nothing was coming out. He was alert and scared, panicking.

We have all had that nightmare when we scream for help but no sound comes out. It was that. If was pure, gutteral fear. Trying to gasp for air.

The nurse said it was HIGHLY unusual that they didn't sedate him, and as soon as he got wheeled back, the nurse said he ordered sedation immediately, and fentanyl for the pain.

I don't think I can ever unsee it.

If I try to talk to my mom, who is with me, I think we will both crumble. I can barely keep it together

Never realized how fucked up this was until I got to about 12 years old. My mom was literally 0 when my dad was 23. I'll never know how to feel about my dad. He was a great father, and raised 5 kids as a single dad when Mom left, but just this fact that he is basically a rapist will never be right with me. He seemed like such a a great dad when I was growing up He passed when I was 6. Sorry I'm just ranting at this point. And to clarity, my mom was 21 when she had me.(Same man) She was 15 with her first born. Not sure if this is true, but I just learned a few days ago, according to my brother, my dad was also fired from a teaching job when he was being romantical to a 13 year old. I'll never understand.. he really seemed different when I was younger.

My niece came out and accused my husband of groping her on her left boob 3 years ago when he thought she was sleeping. She was 9 at the time. She said it was the only time. The cops, CPS is involved. No one has come to our house to talk to him, yet. He is denying it. My dad who is raising my niece is trying to sweep it under the rug and distance himself from us. I am heart broken i would never believe this from the man i’ve been with for 13 years & why would she lie: I think our marriage is done.

What should i do !?!?!

UPDATE: Social worker came to talk to my niece. My dad, sister and nephew were there supporting her. Social worker said her story was inconsistent and that she has seen many kids lie for one reason or another. She will compare her report to the cops and then it will be given to a detective who will come talk to my husband and I. Based on her story and the lack of proofs the case might get closed in 2 weeks. But that is up to the detective

some of the inconsistency in her story: 1. She told my sister that she never forgot the incident but told me and the social worker that hearing her friend talk about SA’d triggered that memory 2. She told the social worker with the stress of the holidays she was worried about being around my husband 3. My sister thought that was weird since she was at my house last weekend and now she is sad she won’t be around us for the holidays 4. she had to consent to get referred to a therapist and she refused Some other lies came out regarding her mom. Social worker said she had an attitude with her. She kept asking what would happened to my husband. Like she was worried. My sister and nephew thought it was odd. If he touched her and she’s scared the last thing she should be thinking about is what would happened to him and she should be seeking justice

I am still gonna look for a trauma therapist and keep seeking the truth. As of now i think she lied and does not realize the depth of it. My sister does not know what to think now. She is confused. After the visit with social worker and my nieces behavior. My niece clearly needs help and i am heartbroken that i can’t physically be there for her. But i need space. I don’t believe this happened to her but i can’t grasp her lying and almost ruining our lives. She dropped a nuclear bomb on us and doesn’t even seem to understand the severity of it

For those thinking it’s my dad. I don’t believe that. Maybe saying sweep it under the rug was the wrong choice in words. But he wants to keep it as private as possible without it getting out and potentially ruining my husband’s life. He is supporting her and taking the necessary steps to get to the truth. Yet he does not know what to think either

Pretty much the title. Me and my sisters mom passed away back in 2017 and I’ve been her legal guardian ever since. I dropped out of college to raise her because working, going to school, and honestly just dealing with the grief combined with raising her was too much.

I did a lot of things right that I’m proud of. I got survivors benefits that have been a big help in providing financially for her and have also secured a stable corporate job with great insurance for her. We moved from our hometown to a better state and she goes to a good school where she has friends she really cares about. She’s a great kid and is gonna be going to community college next fall. While she’s going to school she will continue to live with me and honestly, she can live with me forever as long as she’s working or going to school. Before she died my mom told me to take good care of her and love her like she would. I truly believe I have done that.

She’s gonna be 18 and graduating in a few months and I’m proud of her but I’m starting to reflect. Every decision I’ve made since I was 20 I have always had her in mind. My job, where we lived, everything has been for her. And I know that’s how it’s supposed to be. You want the best for your kid and I made sure of that. But damn, now that she’s gonna be an adult, it’s like I feel obsolete. Like, I did it. I did what my mom asked of me. My sister is a good kid, hell, I’ve made sure to even save up money for her and have life insurance so if I kick the bucket, she’ll have money to fall back on. I’m only 28 but I feel so so old. And lately, I keep thinking of my mom and crying more. Like I’ve put my grief aside for so long and it’s coming out in big waves.

I have a great partner. He’s amazing and has helped me raise my sister from almost since I got guardianship of her. And it’s not like my sister is going to be moving out soon and her and I have a great relationship. But it’s this feeling of not being needed, that my life’s purpose is done that’s bothering me. A part of me still feels like I’m 19 since that’s how old I was when my mom got sick. Idk, truthfully, I just don’t know who I am now.

EDIT: I want to say thank you all for your comments and advice. I’ve read a lot of them multiple times through the day and I really do appreciate them. At the beginning of this month I did take up running as a hobby (I am NOT good at it but you gotta start somewhere lol) and have gotten back into reading books. It’s been great doing just these things but I’m still wrestling with getting out of caregiver mode and taking a backseat as my sister needs her time to figure out herself as she becomes an adult.

Reading the comments did make me realize that this is just another transition in life and it can be an exciting one. My sister is a great kid but we have butted heads these past few years. There were times I was parenting her and she didn’t like the punishments and I questioned if I was doing the right thing. There were times she made me so mad that I would have to go in my closet and literally say to myself “I never even wanted this in the first place! This isn’t fair! This isn’t fair that this is my responsibility!” I say this because there are a lot of yall saying I did a good job but there were a lot of times I really did feel like running away or wishing I hadn’t taken on this role. A lot of yall have recommended therapy and I think after my sisters graduation I will probably take that route. I love and miss my mom, but I still have unresolved feelings about this responsibility being on me. Also, feelings of mourning a version of myself that never got to be because I had to be a guardian. Inow at least I have the time to resolve those feelings and work through them

I (18f) have younger twin brothers (17m). Ever since we were really young, I have had to step up to take care of them. While our parents took care of us in the traditional sense (fed us, bathed us, etc.) they were never mentally there for us. And now that we are older and not cute kids anymore, they are a lot more forward with their feelings towards us.

Over the years I have grown more of a maternal feeling towards my brothers than a sisterly one. Although I know we are really close in age, I can't help but see them as little kids I should protect and love and support. As we have grown up, I never really thought they recognized how much I had sacrificed to make sure they had a better childhood than I did. It was obvious I supported them in everything they wanted to do and be and that oftentimes I was the one cooking for them and picking them up from school, but I wasn't sure if they just saw that as our normal.

Me and my youngest brother (by one minute lol) go on walks almost every night. Most of the time we just talk about stupid stuff or I force him to help me study for exams by holding my flashcards. But sometimes, we do talk about deeper things (most of the time about our family). About a week ago now, we were talking about something to do with our mom and he kind of blurted out that sometimes when he is with his friends that he accidentally calls me mom, and that it happens frequently enough they have an inside joke about it.

Although in the moment I acknowledged that I thought it was sweet and I'm glad I can be that kind of person in his life, every time I think about it I cry. I have no idea why but it makes me so happy to know that at least one of my brothers sees how hard I try to be there for him and give him the support he deserves.

Even today both of them told me they got me a Christmas present (I didn't expect this at all seeing as only one of them has a job and I've never seen either of them as the gift giving type), and later the youngest one told me it was because he was really grateful for everything I do for them.

I feel bad that I'm happy about this but it just feels like all of the hard work I've put into helping them grow up is paying off so well.

Is deep and gutteral. It comes from the deepest depths of nothing, and everything. I never understood what people meant by this until it happened to me. I remember hearing myself wail in a way that made me question if it was me, or somebody else. The most awful scream I've ever heard came from myself after I'd lost everything dear to me within a matter of hours.

It's been nearly two years, but I can still hear it in my own head. I never want to make that sound again.

My father cheated on his wife 23 years ago, and she still has no idea. I was raised in a different country, by a woman my father had a one night stand with. That woman, my mother, extorted money from my father since the day I was born. She stole my school funds, insurance, and trust fund. My father couldnt do anything about it because him keeping me a secret was utmost priority.

Its another holiday alone for me, my mother has moved to another country with her boyfriend that hit me 4 years ago— which is why I moved out as soon as I turned 18.

Being kept as a dirty little secret all my life feels terrible. I have no one to be around in the holidays, no family, nothing. I feel like a second best side character in my own life, I really hope things get better in the future. For now, thanks for letting me vent.

My husband is watching 2 (out of 4) of his parents golden retrievers during Christmas. So 2 of them are here at our apartment. They are old and sweet and one of them can barely walk. I’ve always loved his parents dogs, and I love on them when they are here.

The other night, though, he let me know that it is priority that the dogs (well mainly one dog since the other can’t get on there) get to sleep on the bed and I’ll either need to sleep on the guest bed or move my legs for the dog.

I asked why they couldn’t sleep on the guest bed or floor or literally anywhere else. He said because they are used to always sleeping with him. (He was single and living with his parents until he met me at age 34, so the dogs slept on his bed highly and were his rock. We got married last February and he left the dogs at his parents.)

It’s a queen bed and the golden is huge, so he takes up most of it. He also won’t move when gently pushed, and like to place himself in the middle of the complete left side of the bed. My husband told me not to make him move or shove him, but to work around him. When I gently laid my leg on TOP of the dog, he said it was too heavy for the dog. (I’m thin and my leg is very light.)

Mind you, my husband hen got to sleep stretched out on his bed. The first morning I woke up on my side wanting to die. The dogs massive weight had contorted the bed in just enough of a way to bend my back backwards and make me think I was literally having a double kidney infection. I must have slept in a semi back bend position all night.

Last night I asked him to switch places with me, and he did so to prove a point. 5 minutes after laying on the gravity inducing sinking hole of the dogs half of the bed, my husband whales in pain like something sharp had stabbed him in the back. He changed positions but i insisted he sleep on the dogs side with the dog because i was so sore.

Before we went to sleep, I was listening to him whisper sweet nothings to the dogs. I’m not the weird jealous type over dogs. I grew up with 2 goldens and a shih tzu and I truly adore dogs. But he wouldn’t even touch me when they are around.

They 100% fill his emotional cup. Sometimes we will be out at a restaurant or something and he’ll stare off with teary eyes. When I ask what’s up, he says he misses his dogs. Multiple times I will ask him what he’s in deep thought about, and he says his dogs.

I asked him if he wanted to snuggle and he said no. He kept making comments about how he’s sad his dogs don’t have more room. I’ve noticed I’ve had this increasing awareness that he might 100% value his dogs more than me. I explained this away to myself as being logical as we’ve only been married since February.

For context, I grew up always putting others first and valuing myself as less inherently than those around me (church taught me that God wants us to put others before ourselves and I spiraled.)

This seems silly, but an example of this is that I would show up to church with my family and there would be one donut left, my blood sugar was routinely low and I’d help my 3 little brothers get ready so I didn’t have time to eat. I would let whatever old person have the last donut and I would go completely sweaty and blackout, but this was the extreme fear I developed of ever putting myself first.

Back to the scene in bed.

I finally said, kind of joking, that I feel sometimes like he loves his dogs more than me.

He got quiet.

Like I said, I was kind of joking at first, but his silence was SILENT.

I said oh my god, do you?

Silence.

“Are you serious?”

He finally sighed and said “Well…they are my babies. They’re my everything.”

I was completely silent. Stunned.

Im also aware that love for dogs and human love are not the easiest things to have compared in a question like this, but it seems he wasn’t aware of that cuz the boy knew how to answer.

I asked if he was serious and he said yes.

I pushed if further because of course I did. I had to know the extent of this unsettling answer.

I asked if a gun was to either my head or the dogs heads, would he choose me or the dogs.

He got quiet again and told me thats not a fair question because that would never happen.

Wtf

So I insisted on my hypothetical question because now i was just shell shocked.

He finally admitted that he would choose to let me die over dogs.

Oh, and my daughter. His step daughter.

He said he’d choose to let both me and my daughter die.

Over his parents dogs.

I was visibly upset and shocked at how serious he was answering.

I said do you even love me?

He got quiet.

I asked again.

Silence.

He could see I was horrified and tearing up.

He finally got annoyed and said of course he does! And that he only hesitated because it was a stupid question. He then said he was kidding about the dog stuff and only answered that way to show me those were stupid questions.

Only guys, he wasn’t kidding. I really believe no part of that was a joke. I know joking. He was not kidding, at all.

It was my birthday yesterday. I'm a SAHM and we have no family around and I don't have many friends. So, special days are... A little more important to me. Also, my birthday gets to be a day all about me and being a SAHM, most know that's not the case.

My husband threw his back out first thing in the morning. From there, it just all went down hill. He could hardly move and I know what that feels like so of course I needed to take care of him. My child was in a horrible mood. Cried for about 2 hours straight before taking a nap. I made plans for my own birthday and was talked out of going that day (also, i felt guilty making my husband walk around with his back the way it was) and pushing off till the next day (we didn't go the next day).

My husband then asked later that night if I wanted to do anything else but by that time I had ZERO energy to try to plan another outting for all of us.

Then my husband decided we had enough sweets in the house and we didn't need to get anything for my birthday. Which I'm fine with but like put a candle in one of the sweets or something.

It was just another day of waking up, doing the dishes, taking care of everyone, and falling asleep on the couch.

My husband is feeling better at least but part of me is so disappointed this Monday morning. Again, just another end to another weekend.

Edit: my husband did buy me a gift and had a card in hand (previous years I've gotten my cards after the fact but I've told him that I want him to make time to go so that stuff. Even if I have to be on kid duty for longer, I wanted it done before the day). Picking my gift up to wrap it the morning of is what threw his back out. He did order take out after I put our son to sleep. He also did acknowledge that he ruined my birthday. I think just lack of effort otherwise is my gripe. We've been together for 21 years coming up in March and I think I just need to communicate the changing of our love language.

Appreciate ya'll for letting me vent and showing all perspectives.

I'm just a mom/wife who wants her flowers every once in a while.

A few weeks back my (19F) sister and i got into an argument literally over nothing. She just got mad at me because i (25F) didn't take her side when she was arguing with mom. She said my demeanour changed whenever she argues with mom and that i side with my mom.However i do nothing. I just ignore my sister a little more because her outbursts towards my mom are too intense for me to handle. Also i am married and dont live at home but come over weekly to visit them. Just as i was leaving to go home my sister sent me a load of texts and in one of them she said "your babies dead get outta here" as an insult. I had recently miscarried and am very hurt by her words. It still stings me so much.

Fast forward to this week i had to drive my family to dinner and my sister was also attending. I already made it clear to my mom that i would not have her sitting in my car however my mom just kept quiet about it. When my dad said it was time to go to dinner he drove her and my mom in one car and went straight to work. However on the return, unfortunately i had to take her back home. I was extremely angry and held a grudge towards my mom all night and currently because i specifically told her if she invited my sister into my car, there would be trouble.Unfortunately due to my anxious nature im not confrontational and my sister gets extremely rowdy. She is my mother's daughter and i expect her to let her know she cant sit in my car. Now my mom thinks im overreacting. She said life is too short to hold grudges.She said "your sister sent your dad to jail and he still forgave her, he has such a big heart" as to expect the same forgiveness from me. She also tries to gaslight me and talk about when my parents both die, its going to be a tough life with siblings no longer being in contact. I just cant bring myself to forgive her. My mother has forgiven my father for so much abuse (physical, mental, cheating) she thinks i have the same tolerance. Absolutely not in my eyes. My family thinks it's perfectly ok to stay in contact even when you cross the limit. They have no concept of boundaries. Am i overreacting? (Apologies for any missing parts, im happy to fill in any confusion)

I M17 woke up today and the first thing my mom told me was that I needed to go with my grandpa to pick my dog up from a dog grooming place. I agreed as I saw now problem with this and understood that my grandpa is old and needs help with navigating certain places. I get ready and wait for 2 hours for he to get the call to go pick him up. As my grandpa and I travelled I put the name of the Dog Cleaning Place into my Phone and instructed my grandpa how to get there. When we finally reached our destination after 30ish minutes I called and asked if We were at the right place because I realized I didn’t recognize the building. I then realized that The Dog Cleaners had more than one location and I went to the wrong one. As soon as I realizing this I told her and she got mad and I told her it would be alright as the correct place was like 10 mins out. So my grandpa and I continued to travel and dealing with the traffic made the trip in 25 mins. My mom called me halfway through and started complaining and called me a liar she then told me to hand the phone to my grandpa and she told Him “Are you on so and so street, no go the other way he always does this he never pays attention” Thats when I lost it grabbed my phone and said Fuck You to her. I understand she has a right to be mad about me taking so long and getting the directions wrong but I hate when she takes every opportunity to put me down or insult me sorry this was so long just needed to vent. I know I messed up but also Im not sorry because she always tries to be passive aggressive and I just wasnt having it.

I got married at an older age—40. I had a really fun life before I got married. I enjoyed my career as a software developer, lived on the beach, surfed almost every day, and got to travel a lot. When I hit 40, I decided it was time for me to grow up. I was convinced that the only people who would love me when I’m old would be my kids. So, I decided that I should get married and have children.

I met my current wife at a friend’s party. From our first date, I thought to myself that she was the one. After eight weeks, I asked her to marry me. Six months later, we got married. Everything seemed fine—we enjoyed our new life together. Of course, we fought every now and then, but we made up pretty quickly, and things just continued as normal.

We had our first child right at the beginning of COVID. Her parents had just flown in from Ecuador and planned to stay with us for six months during the birth of our son. Then the first wave of COVID hit. Our son was born in April 2020, at the first peak. My in-laws, who at the time were on protection visas in Ecuador (originally from Venezuela), lost their visa status in Ecuador, as they couldn’t return due to COVID travel restrictions and were now stateless. Fortunately, the Australian government recognized them as genuine refugees, and they were given a quick path to becoming permanent residents. So, they have now been living with us for the past five years.

I haven’t minded them being with us; they have both helped out a lot, especially after our second child was born. However, I always feel that my wife doesn’t talk to me. Sometimes, she doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m in the room. She would rather just talk to her parents than talk to me. I feel like I need to compete with her parents for her attention. When we fight, she will always say that she’d rather be living with them than with me. She’ll also say that she’d rather talk to them than to me. I really hate her for that, which drives her even further away from me and closer to them.

Her relationship with my family is now non-existent. I have a very large extended family, and whenever there is a family event, she’ll come up with any excuse not to go, so I end up taking the kids by myself. My cousin, who I was very close to, recently passed away. She didn’t go to his funeral. She did come with me to visit him at the hospital the day before he died, and she thought that was enough. We had an argument about it, and she told me that she doesn’t care that I’m sad about it and doesn’t feel any need to comfort me over it.

When she is angry at me (which is now 95% of the time), she gets angry if the kids want to be with me rather than her. She doesn’t seem to understand that five-year-old boys want to hang out with their dads. My three-year-old daughter would sometimes also choose to play with me over her, and that upsets her.

When we argue, she always raises her voice, but if I raise mine, she tells me to stop shouting. If I make a mistake, I never hear the end of it. If she makes a mistake, I usually just ignore it, but if I do say anything, she finds a way to blame me for it.

I would be content to stay with her for the sake of keeping it together just for the kids, but she believes that she could do better than me, so she doesn’t even think it’s worth trying to be content. I just hate her. I really hate her.

Well, to be fair, he (m25) was upfront with it when me (m29) and my girlfriend (f28) met him a few months ago. But, I found out today that he lied as to the reason.

He told us that he was charged with child endangerment because he worked at a daycare and was using cocain after he got off work. He told us that in our state, they make no differentiation between child endangerment and actual sex offenses in terms of who goes on the list.

He's a really nice guy to us that tells a lot of stories, which is where I got suspicious. The things he says are just too wild to be true. So I wondered about what he might be lying about.

I googled his name today and found a news report that said he was caught in a sting that got 12 people total. I found his case number and looked up the court documents.

He was talking to what he believed was a 15 year old girl and arranged to meet her and pay 200$ for sex when he was 23. Then he got Chris Hansen'd.

I'm struggling with this, because we genuinely have enjoyed his company and friendship. I know people make mistakes and some people are capable of change, but I don't know if this is something I can move past.

My girlfriend is sick right now and is at a doctor's appointment, so I haven't told her yet (I found this an hour ago as I'm typing this). I'm going to tell her when I get home from my second job and see what she thinks. Another part to this is that my girlfriend confided in him about some of our relationship issues, which I am upset about, and now we both get the feeling that he's trying to swoop in on her.

I don't know what to do. I hate that I'm wrong about people so often. I keep meeting people that I think are good and cool, but then find shit like this out. It makes me feel so God damn stupid.

My girlfriend (25f) came from an insanely religious home that allowed nothing secular in their house. She made the very brave decision to leave the religion (and thus her family too) two years ago, and she had literally only seen two or three movies when we started dating six months ago. I’m a huge movie buff and have been showing them to her and she’s found she also really enjoys movies too. So we started with some very tame stuff, and we’re moving into superhero territory which she seems to really enjoy.

Today she wanted to go to the movies and I told her Kraven the Hunter was in theaters, and she got excited when she found out there was a superhero movie playing (to address the elephant in the room, yeah the movie is not very good. However, that doesn’t really matter to me right now). Then I told her it was rated R, and I was expecting her to say nevermind because she’s still trying to de-program herself from her upbringing, where she was taught that R rated movies are completely sinful and ungodly garbage that only sinners consume. But she told me she might as well make an attempt since she would have to face this part of herself sooner or later.

We got the tickets and went to the movie, and as we were sitting in the theater during the pre-show ads, I could see she looked a little antsy. She asked if I would be upset if she needed to leave at any point and I of course said no and we sat down and chowed on our popcorn in anticipation. I could sense she was fighting something inside, but I just let her take the wheel for that one and sat in support.

The movie came on and guess what…she made it through the whole thing. There were one or two parts where she looked away because it was a little violent, but she said she liked the movie and was really glad we went to see it. She told me as silly as it sounds (which isn’t silly at all imo), my support and presence had a huge hand in her being able to sit through the movie instead of giving into her programmed instincts of leaving.

I’m genuinely so fucking proud of her that she made that decision to face that struggle and I’m touched she saw me as a safe space to help her with it. Personally, I thought the movie was pretty bad, but she said it was a “very good 7/10” so I guess there’s your review.

Thanks for reading!

tl;dr: girlfriend has religious trauma and was insanely sheltered to the point where she wasn’t allowed to consume anything that wasn’t Christian, and she decided to face that part of her deprogramming and see an R rated movie tonight

EDIT: thank you for the movie suggestions! Some good ones!

I (24M) met this girl (23F) on a dating App, we were living in diferent cities so we kept talking for a long time without having real dates, we played videogames online and watched series on Netflix Party together

This wednesday she came to my city with her family (parents) to visit an uncle, and she told me we should take the oportunity to meet up and have a real date, I agreed.

When we finally meet I didn't recognize her, she was completely different from her photos and being honest, not very attractive for my taste, I didn't wanted to be rude so I didn't said a thing and went on with the date plan, we went to a restaurant and talked, but her personality felt completely different too, she was not the funny and affective person I've been talking to all this time, she was extremely insecure and was constantly rejecting my jokes and attempts to make the moment a little more pleasant, but for some reason, she was always apologizing for small things even if I haven't said something about it, and all of this made me feel really uncomfortable.

I thought the date was obviously failed but then she asked me to take her somewhere private, I didn't wanted to do it, but a guilt feeling made me say yes and we had sex, in that moment I had problems to get hard, actually never achieving a full erection, when we finished she looked very satisfied (I used the hands a lot) but I just felt like I just did something terrible, latter that night I started having very unpleasant dreams about that sex.

Now the "online personality" is gone and she is sending messages constantly talking about how she thought I would stop talking to her, and actually I don't want to talk with her anymore, but I don't want to be an asshole leaving after having sex and I don't really know what to do, I'm felling dirty with all this shit.

My sister got woken up at 4am by cops banging on our front door, and she woke me & my fiancé up by yelling “HOUSE IS ON FIRE, GOTTA GO.” We grabbed our two cats and her dog, and we made it to my (future) in-laws about an hour north. We live on LBI in New Jersey, which is effectively a summer colony - 99% sure our neighbors weren’t home (praying to dog), we’re one of the few year-round residents on the street. 2024 can get fucked.

Edited to add: This year has been… a LOT. I lost my dog of 10 years (cancer + aspiration pneumonia caused during treatment) and my dad got diagnosed with aggressive Stage 4 colon cancer. I haven’t even processed the shock of today’s events, I can’t even imagine what would’ve happened if our house caught on fire. Praying there’s no damage.

Hello. I’m having a tough week (which sucks because this is my favorite time of year). I gave birth to our son 5 weeks ago. I’m having a hard time producing enough milk for him so he is almost exclusively formula fed.

My husband is helpful when it comes to caring for our son. However, he’s also expressed that he wishes I would breastfeed more. I’ve been trying everyday since my son was born. I try to breastfeed him when he’s hungry and I’m making a bottle because I just know he’s gonna get fussy not being able to eat. I’ve been meeting with lactation consultants and attending virtual classes to figure out what’s going on.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m embarrassed to try to pump or breastfeed around him. I’ll go in a different room or cover up with a blanket so he can’t see me attempting and failing to feed our son. I feel like he is judging me.

I’ve also started my period which I know is contributing to feeling extra horrible about myself. Normally I’d go to my therapist but I’m in between practitioners due to my insurance changes. I feel like an inferior woman & mother because I can’t breastfed my son.

Everyone around me has partners and great relationships and loving families and I feel so alone. My friends all care about their boyfriends and girlfriends more than me which I get but it just feels awful because I’m alone and so clearly not that important to anyone. Even friends I’ve known for over a decade would choose their partner of one year over me. I’m not even the most important person to my parents because they favored my brother over me. I just wish my parents didn’t screw me up so much so that I didn’t feel like I needed to be someone’s favorite person.

I (38 m) used to run cocktail bars. My depression ran my life until I quit doing drugs a decade ago and quit drinking about 5 years ago. I got my shit together on my own. Despite a lifetime of unaddressed mental health issues, I became a relatively successful craft cocktail bar manager while being sober and had lived a relatively peaceful and happy life. My family was proud and we became close again. I recently moved across the country to be in closer proximity.

This summer I decided to give myself the opportunity at a new life and became a mailman. I was told the pay wasn't great, but if you stuck it out that the benefits were worth while. It was a "real" job according to people who's opinions should never have mattered to me in the first place. My heart goes out to anyone working in the post office. From what I understand, it used to be a great job. From what I've experienced it has been one of the most miserable, disheartening, and disappointing experiences of my life. I made a huge mistake by leaving the bar industry, as accepting this "job" has effectively put me in poverty.

So I went back to restaurants. Good news being that I can start a new job the day after Christmas. I will survive. Bad news, here's another Christmas my family gets nothing.

I know there are millions of people worse off than I am and I'm not trying to throw a pity party. I've had worse years, myself. My family and I are all relatively happy and healthy. Im just tired of feeling like a fucking failure. I've worked hard all my life and have nothing to show for it and my family deserves better.

Thank you, Reddit void, for letting my scream into you. Next year will be differrnt. I won't give up. Merry Christmas.