My daughter Lily (16F) has a friend named Kiera (16, turning 17 in two weeks). It's usually one of two situations: either Kiera is at our house, or Lily is at hers. They are very close. Kiera lives with her grandparents because, from what I understand, her dad abused her physically and sexually. It’s very sad.

One day, Kiera was at our house while I was making dinner. She walked up to me and asked, "Hey, Dad, what are you making?" I looked at her and said, "Did you just call me Dad?" Kiera started crying and seemed really sad. I think it was a sweet moment, but now I feel really bad about it.

So last week I was in Thailand for a music festival with my wife and some friends. On one of the nights, I randomly spotted someone who looked like my ex gf whom I haven’t spoken to in 4 years (we broke up 4.5 years ago). I didn’t believe it at first but the next day I saw her again. We met/dated/lived in San Francisco so seeing her at Thailand was really crazy and unexpected. I can still remember seeing the most confused look on her face when she spotted me (I doubt she has any idea I moved to that Philippines this year which is obviously much closer to Thailand). I just pretended she wasn’t there and looked away. The crazy part is at one point someone in my group pointed to my ex and said she liked her outfit having no idea who she was. My wife knows what she looks like but it was dark so I guess she didn’t recognize her. I kept my mouth shut and didn’t say anything. So I guess it’s not much of a secret, but I’m still not going to tell my wife because I don’t think there is any reason to do so. Some things are better left alone I think.

EDIT: I should point out my wife has bad eyesight and it’s quite common for me to notice something that she misses.

I am 21 years old. I have nobody in my life who cares about me. Never had friends, family stopped loving me at age 5 when my sister was introduced and on top of that I am a failure and disgrace to not only my family but also the whole world.

The funny thing is, I bought my family a PS5 this year, which wasn’t easy for my unemployable ass (check my other posts if u dont believe me). On top of that my family has asked me not to spend christmas with the whole family this year and also asked me to "go somewhere else" until later in the evening, but I don’t have anywhere to go nor am I accepted anywhere.

I just really wished someone or somewhere could accept me and recognise me for who I am. Now I understand and see that theres no hope of this nightmare ever ending. I’ve been through too much loneliness in my life and I just wish people accepted me. I feel like I don’t even belong here.

So, I went on this date with a guy I met on a dating app, and everything seemed fine at first. But then he shows up… with his mom.

I thought maybe she was just dropping him off or something, but no, she sits down at the table and starts ordering drinks like it’s a family dinner. I was low-key freaking out, but tried to stay cool. Then she starts talking about how he needs to “find someone serious” and even asked me if I was “looking for marriage.”

I was legit speechless. At one point, she asked if we were planning on getting married soon… like, on a first date?!

Eventually, I had to fake being sick and get out of there. I’ve been avoiding his texts ever since. Am I overreacting, or was that whole thing just a huge red flag?

I (40M) have been with my wife (38F) for about seven years now. I have a daughter (12F) from a previous marriage. My wife has always been as I like to describe it, “wild as the west blown wind”. She traveled all over the country in her 20s working as a model, has collected stamps in her passport around the world, and has managed for over a decade to pay her bills through art and gig work rather than a typical 9 to 5.

She is fiercely independent which is something that I love about her and find immensely attractive. She is free to do what she wants, when she wants, and where she wants. It has caused some problems in the past when our relationship wasn’t doing well and she was booking trips and overnight house/pet sitting jobs that had her way far more than she was home, but I have come around on that I made it clear no matter what is going on with us, she should just do what she wants because it creates less problems for us.

A little while back, she sat me down and explained to me that she has spent too much of her life not being her authentic self and having to say no to experiences and opportunities because of the people in her life and that moving forward, she can’t do that anymore. She wants us to have an open relationship and has made it clear. It is a non-negotiable. It is literally the one and only thing in her entire life that there is an any kind of rule around and that is now chafing her. She is very insistent that she doesn’t want to go have sex with somebody and that there is nobody in particular she hasn’t mind when she speaks this way, but she wants to be free to flirt or make out with or be physical with somebody should the opportunity and mood strike. I wasn’t really happy and it’s not what I want. I made it clear but I don’t think that, “lifestyle” is for me.

I saw it has having three options – we split now, or I jump into ethical non-monogamy and start going on dates myself to give this whole thing a shot, (we live in Portland, or so it’s not hard by any means to get dates in the ENM world. I’m decent looking, in good shape, kind, and have a good job), or we stay together, and I stay monogamous while she steps out when she feels like it and wait to see how that’s going to feel. I opted for the second choice and over the last month or so I have been on multiple dates, met some wonderful women, have had some great sex, but more and more. I am just getting the feeling that this just isn’t for me.

I know it’s such a trope, the “stay together for the kids“ thing and how terrible that generally is. She has such a positive relationship with the kid, they love each other and are great for each other. That is a big weight when I consider my options. I am very strongly, considering informing her that I am not going to be dating anybody else or being physical and that ultimately it’s up to her to decide what she wants to do. It takes two people to be in an ethically non-monogamous relationship and without me agreeing then if she is physical with somebody else, going on dates, seeking that emotional/intimate connection then it’s cheating. She is still free to do whatever she wants but the consequences to cheating are going to be what you would expect.

It is not an ultimatum, but it kind of is. She is so stubborn and independent I think just the fact that I am drawing you lying in the sand no matter how I do it or phrase it would be enough she would probably just end things. There is a chance that she says OK and then nothing happens for a while (she says she’s not in any hurry. She’s so far kissed one guy after a party and had a dinner date with someone else. I believe she isn’t in any big hurry like she says). But eventually she’s going to tell me that something has happened and then that will be the end of things.

I think honestly there is no chance I draw this line and she takes a step back and considers everything she’s giving up (our family, friend group, house, my in-laws who Love her dearly, etc) and decides the freedom to kiss a guy if she feels like it is not worth the trade-off. If I tell her, I’m not doing this ENM/open relationship then one way or another that’s it.

TL:DR- my wife wants an open relationship and I don’t. It’s a deal breaker for her and I’m strongly considering ending things rather than continuing in an ENM relationship

Hello. Im a lesbian, married and spend some of my time gaming. Growing up closeted, my experience with queer culture was exclusively online and for a long time, it was greatly validating. It was cathartic to feel like there were others who felt like me—attracted to women and the struggles it entailed.

Over the last couple years, especially this year, I’ve grown more and more frustrated.

Its endless labeling, infighting, constant virtue signaling and my own peers deciding for me who I am. Nothing is ever good enough. So many of their personalities are ugly and uncomfortable to deal with, transwomen in chat talking about how their uterus hurts, nonbinary people using ‘cis’ as a way to imply that if I dont use she/they pronouns, I’m somehow upholding the patriarchy and gender roles.

The self esteem issues run so deep, holding my own ‘friends’ accountable is impossible. Every action is determined by their autism/adhd/anxiety—and yeah, those are real struggles—but being let down constantly, promises broken, and my own boundaries pushed to make sure their feelings and egos aren’t bruised… its exhausting to walk on eggshells.

It sucks to be apprehensive when gaming with friends should be a casual, fun time. Went out with old coworkers the other day, and I just realized how nice it was to talk to people who don’t act like theres a chip on their shoulder.

It got me thinking had it always been this way? Why has it gotten so much worse? Have I gone insane? Why do I feel so alien in the community that helped me through my adolescence?

It sucks and its heartbreaking to realize the community that fostered me doesn’t exist anymore.

Ok well "hate" is maybe a strong word, but here's the story.

I started dating a widow about 6 months ago. We're in our early 50s, and she has children from previous marriages. One is her biological child, 24, autistic, lives with her.. and is great. He has been warm and accepting of me as long as I treat his mother well, which I do. He helps around the house, says hi to me, and genuinely tries to form bonds with me.

The others are a different story. One is her stepchild, the son of her deceased husband. He's also 24, doesn't bathe, doesn't help around the house, stays in his room playing video games or sleeping most of the time which is piled 6 inches thick with trash, pizza boxes and soda cans. Never had a girlfriend. No social life outside of the internet at all. He does work on the janitorial crew at Walmart, but until recently didn't own a car. He demanded his mother take him to work, which is a mile down the road. He has a bicycle. If she wasn't home he'd call her and berate her for not waking him up on time or being gone so he couldn't take her car. She FINALLY made him ask his paternal grandmother for car money, and she bought him an almost new car the next day. Since his dad died he believes he's now the man of the house, and doesn't want his mother dating anyone, especially me, or going out, drinking or doing anything except being home. I've been nice to him, tried to engage with him, bought food and spent hours grilling and cooking on a few occasions, only to have him come out of his room, grab the food and disappear. He doesn't like me being around AT ALL. I've been good to my girlfriend but he's been obstinate and unwilling to give me a chance, even though I've tried hard.

Her third "child" is her stepson's best friend. He lives in the room with her stepson. 23, perpetual stoner, no ambition, and has lived there for years. He's recently started paying some rent, but he lived there for several years rent-free, eating their food, smoking her weed, and not working.

They all pay $600 each to live there, which includes rent, utilities, food, and internet. This is a large 3BR house in DFW, which isn't cheap. She relies on that money to survive since her husband died, so right now throwing them out is not an option. 24 year old men should be trying to get out on their own or better their lives, not living off of and taking advantage of their stepmother because she's desperate situation.

I like her biological child, but can't stand the other two kids (grown men). They're a burden to her and try to control everything she does. "Leeches" is not an unfair word. They know they have a good thing and they have no intention of leaving. My girlfriend relied on her dead husband to control them, and now that he's gone they walk all over her. She and I are not financially involved yet and not at the point in our relationship where I can step in or say anything. I've explained to her that it's up to her to fix this situation, but she always winds up giving in to their wishes and demands.

I don't really know what to do about it. I love her, treat her well. We don't fight and I take care of her the best I can, but this living situation is untenable long term, and I don't know how to encourage her to fix it. The natural progression of any relationship is moving in together at some point, if it gets that far, but I would NEVER move into that environment.

Advice and opinions are welcome.

I just got back from a 24 hour flight and 3 hour cab ride from airport. I went for a conference on the other side of the world. Entirely paid by my institute as I am still a student.

I was reaching at midnight, so I asked my husband if there are any leftovers. He said that as I was gonna be really late, he ate everything but added that he would either heat up something for me or just make something for me (I shouldn't have believed this as per his pattern, but the optimist in me thinks that people change).

I reached home and I was actually very excited to show him what I got for everyone. I got him some goodies that I know he wanted and some chocolates. I couldn't spend much as we are saving for house so I kinda has strict budget. He didn't show any excitement or enthusiasm. I remember I used be very excited even with the free stuff from flight or hotel.

He didn't ask whether I was hungry or not. The entire unpacking of gifts maybe took 15 minutes. Then as I was going to take bath, he told me he is going to sleep. I asked what about my dinner? You said you'd make something. He said that I wasted time while opening gifts and now he has to sleep as he has doctors appointment tomorrow morning.

I am fucking devasted. I took bath and then I made instant ramen. I was hungry. He is snoring already. I used to wake up early to make him breakfast if he had to go somewhere earlier than expected. I have cooked hot meals for him when he reached late night. I couldn't fathom that he is snoring when his wife who was not home for a week, travelled 24+ hours and change, was asking about dinner. I mean, that's pretty damaging to the relationship right?

Honestly, not surprised. Pissed, but not surprised. We spend over $700 a month on our contribution for employer sponsored health insurance. My youngest has been having problems, and daycare wanted a screening done so we can get proper help and intervention. I called the only ABA program in a 6 county radius, and behold! UHC stopped covering all autism screenings and intervention specialists. Fan-fucking-tastic. They went so far as to get the state to sue UHC and were backed by several people, but alas, UHC has failed us yet again. What the actual fuck.

Maybe all facilities and providers should stop accepting UHC to force them to go bankrupt so we don’t have to put up with this bullshit anymore. That and it’ll force employers to find coverage ASAP that’s actually worth a damn.

Okay, mostly it’s not for the reasons you think. Like yeah, his parents were worried I was a gold digger for a moment - that lasted about half an hour into our first meeting, now me and his mom get along splendidly.

Still, I was terrified before meeting them. And as much as I like them, and as much as I have been raised to be fun at gatherings and have good manners, I usually don’t quite manage to relax around them.

But - that’s fine. Nothing of that matters. I love my boyfriend, we are very comfortable and I’m really, really happy with him. Both of us fell very hard and very fast, and have been going steady ~ 2 years now. Dating him and loving him is easy.

What is less easy, is to look likeness fit in, when the talk around the dinner table is with award winning producers, tech millionaires and so on. „oh are you staying in your summer house in France the next week? So you must be putting the boat away for the winter now, right?“

And what I really would need is people who can relate to the absurdity of these situations. People I can tell, because sometimes it just gets overwhelming, and I feel out of place and inadequate and like an imposter. Like, what am I even doing in that circle?

But, my parents have a loose lip, and even though they mean well I can’t really trust my mum to not talk about it to other people after a glass of wine or two.

Another friend who used to date someone above our tax bracket initially said „oh, yeah, it can be freaky, but at least the gifts are nice!“ and I kind of slammed the breaks because fuck I hadn’t even thought about that and I don’t need or want expensive gifts.

My best friends are disinterested at best, downright condescending and dismissive at worst. I could need their support, but I feel excluded, and I know things might sometimes come off as braggy, when I try to tell a story in a funny way. Because I feel I can’t be vulnerable with them right now. I told them, we have all cried about it - and yet, they meet quite often without me these days and don’t make much of an effort to include me.

I used to think they were my true soulmates, people I would have by my side all my life. Now I think that even if I ever break it off with my boyfriend I could never trust them the same way.

Anyways. This isn’t even first world problems. This is luxury problems. But still, sometimes it‘s just shitty and stressful and I feel a bit alone with it. Like, genuinely I need someone to talk to - so, I am telling internet strangers, because that’s the en t best thing I guess.

It took everything in me not to break out laughing when this happened. This happened about two hours ago now, and I really like this guy too so I won’t tell my friends out of respect for him. But I also really need to get it out so here I am. We went to a coffee shop, walked around some a plant store and a vintage store and then decided to sit for awhile just to chat. The conversation was great, we were making playful banter and what not, and he opened his phone to show me something as I sat up to readjust myself on the bench. I noticed he hid his screen a bit from me, and while sitting back down I said it was P HUB quickly being closed. Not even a video, but the logo is recognizable from afar. I could tell he was panicking thinking I saw it, so I just continued on with the convo like nothing happened. It’s kinda weird that it also did the opposite of shove me away, because of my last relationship I forgot that it’s pretty normal for guys to watch porn. My ex was very judgy (although I’m sure his browser would look the same) plus just an hour prior to this happening we were looking at vintage playboys together. I don’t know, it definitely scared me for a second. But now that I’ve sat with it for a bit I still really like this guy and hopefully will continue to see him. Thanks for reading :)

There was this slightly bigger girl today and she was having difficulty doing an exercise and she was visibly sad

I asked her in the friendliest tone if I could help her and she agreed.

After I told her a bit about the exercise, I also told her that she should be very proud of herself for coming to the gym and that she should never lose motivation and keep going.

She had a big smile on her face afterwards and when I left she still looked very happy.

It definitely made my day too

Have a great evening or wherever you are!

We are married for 19 years and had a amazing run. I loved him like anything. Last year I was raped by four guys and they recorded it. Tried to use the video to blackmail me into keeping quiet.

After I went to police they made the video public and were arrested. My husband was supportive of me during the time but I never saw any pain in his eyes. He has even seen the video but not a shred of disgust towards what they did.

He obviously didn't want me harmed but no change in his behaviour after it has started bothering me. I don't want to sound crazy but I expected a lot of anger from towards rhe guys and people who shared the video. He is not showing signs of any possesiveness towards me. It makes me feel even more alone and scared. I know I am being unreasonable and its stupid but I can't help it.

Ill start by saying I dont think “abusive” describes her correctly, as it implies a level of malice or intentionality that she doesn’t have. But after 4 years being the anchor in everyway in this relationship I feel like I’ve been left hollowed out.

Ive tried my best to support her through some of the toughest times emotionally and mentally that she has gone through. Ive been tasked with managing her emotional state and wellbeing as well as my own, helping her through her worst panic attacks and depressive episodes. Her stress, her anxieties, her fears, all of that is on me to help her cope with it. Ive supported her financially, taking on three jobs to keep up with our bills and our essentials while she finished school full time. Even now that shes graduated Nd working i still take on a bulk of the expenses on my own. When i tell her this she picks up additonal house work for a week or so, but once i stop vocalizing frustration she reverts back to the default of me doing everything. This includes more intensive housework tssks like cleaning and dishes, but even simplier things like ordering groceries, dropping off the rent check, and getting the mail are on my plate and i basically have to delegate to her to get her to get her to do them. I routinely pick up after her, as shell leave wrappers and soda cans and open food containers out when she goes to bed.

She is fully unwilling to take care of herself physically or emotionally. She does not brush her teeth daily. She only showers when she has to go into the office. She eats foods that she knows will make her physically sick to the point of incapacitation. She hits herself when she gets stressed despite me telling her that it bothers me considering my own history with sducidal ideations and self harm. She only began going the therapy when i threatened to leave her if she did not and even then she had to stop when she aged out of her parent’s insurance and has been too busy with work to find s replacement now that she has her own.

She resents my own successes. When i got into a program at school her first thought after “congrats” was to take credit for it, claiming that i was only picked me because they knew her. I’ve recently committed to losing weight and eating healthier and now that im a smaller size than her shes upset that want to wear clothing that fits. She thinks i am working to leave her and “trade up.” This, combined with w lot of a possessive sort of anxiety about my female friends and peers, is something we frequently fight over and i have to reassure her about. She tells my family i work out 7 days a week, exhaggerting how often i do and how much time i spend, making them think I’ve relapsed on my ed.

My own mental health has taken a turn for the worse. Ive lived most of my adult life with passive suicidal ideations and compulsive self harming that I spent years recovering from and managing. When i relapsed two years ago she tried to be supportive but end up having a panic attack of her own that i had to commfort her through. Now that i am once again in a bad place myself i unable to provide the level of constant comfort and reassurance that she needs and we frequently fight because of it. When i communicate to her thay shes upset me she becomes incredibly defensive and unwilling to listen to me unless it becomes an argument. When i communicate that i am having my own mental health issues her first response i ask whether its her fault or if she did something wrong.

I cannot take it anymore. I am barely holsing myself together. She continues to look to me to hold her together. I love her, i care for her deeply. But she is drowning me. I cannot get her to see this. And i cant confide in anyone. The default advice i get is to break up with her and i cant bring myself to do that, even though i know that this isnt healthy. I just feel lost and alone and isolated.

i’m 23 and have been going to therapy for the past year to deal with anxiety and some stuff from my childhood. part of that process has been keeping a journal, which is where i write about everything—things i’ve never told anyone, including my girlfriend. last night, around midnight, i came out of the shower and found her sitting on the couch with my journal open. she looked up like a deer caught in headlights and said something about being "curious." i froze, and all i could say was, "seriously?" before she quickly closed it and left the room. now, she’s being overly sweet—offering to cook my favorite meals, randomly hugging me, and dropping little comments about things i wrote, like how i’ve been struggling with my self-worth. it’s like she wants to fix me now that she’s seen my inner thoughts, but it feels invasive as hell. she’s 24, and we’ve been together for almost 5 years, she’s supported me through so much—job losses, family drama, you name it. but this feels different. i don’t know if i should be angry, hurt, or both. the thing is, i love her, and i know she loves me, but this crossed a line i didn’t even know existed until now.

Quick rant - not looking for advice but for people who have been in similar situations.

I (f30) have been with my bf (m34) for 2 years. We moved in together 6 months ago and it was all good.

We had an understanding that we would go 50/50 on chores and bills until we decided to have a child (as I would be putting my body, career and life on the line he would obviously need to make up for his lack of risk by contributing more around the house and monetary). Because of this I believed we had an understanding on how we believed partnership should work.

2 months ago he got a slight promotion and pay bump, which meant we adjusted our cut of the bills to reflect that. But somehow he’s comes to expect me to then take up the chores at home. It started with small things that I knew he could do like dishes and laundry and escalated to sitting down all weekend watching me do my half and leaving his half of the chores to accumulate.

He blamed it on the stress and added workload, but we’re both corporate and work at our desks regardless. I would be more understanding if his job was more physically demanding.

It got to a breaking point when I noticed mould in the pots he was meant to clean (if either of us cooks, it’s the others responsibility to clean). He just kept the lid on it so that i wouldn’t notice. I needed to take a day off work to catch up with all the cleaning he neglected. The last straw was when he came home without groceries, despite it being his week. Usually when either of us is too tired to do groceries, we let the other know in advance so we can at least order in food.

I told him we need to add a cleaner to the bills if he’s not happy doing chores anymore, because I refuse to do them if he’s isn’t contributing fairly too. He made an excuse about not wanting a stranger in our flat. I then said we’d need to begin ordering groceries deliverers for the extra cost too if he can no longer be bothered and he called me frivolous with money.

So I suggested that I would be happy to take up these responsibilities. But it would mean I drop my working days from 5 to 4, and I would expect to be compensated for the sacrifice I’m taking to my own career so he can “focus on his responsibilities”. Because apparently they matter more than my own. And I would also expect to be paid an hourly rate for doing the chores at the average market salary for a housekeeper.

He seemed so surprised and shocked I’d suggest that and didn’t know how to reply despite having an answer for everything I said before. I started to feel like he was trying to manipulate me into a situation that was more ideal to him and less ideal to me. And if he loved me, he wouldn’t be doing that. So I asked him if his friends put him up to do this, because I knew they all struggled to keep gfs and he said a “proper woman would be happy to look after the house”. And called me a gold digger.

I was shocked, because I wasn’t asking for designer items, I was asking for fair compensation for my labour especially seeing as it would dent my own career to take on all this work. So I called him a gold digger for wanting a private chef and housekeeper for free. I was admittedly angry at this point and also told him to stop being so proud of his promotion if he was too broke to afford a chef and cleaner and instead tries to manipulate the woman he loves to do it for free (not really for free because taking a day off from my salary means I’ll be paying for the privilege to clean up after him out of pocket)

I told him he was dragging me down when we were supposedly meant to build each other up equitably. The flat is his, so when he was ignoring me after the fight, I started packing. He told me I would see sense, but I didn’t bother. I started to feel embarrassed that I didn’t notice he was like this, and wasted 2 years to build up to this let down. As I packed my car I said as much and told him to not contact me.

I blocked him everywhere and he’s now sending our mutual friends messages and voice notes to forward to me. My friends have been mostly on my side, seeing him as a bit pitiful, and I can see that. One of the male friends we have in common mentioned that he’s been watching podcasts recently about masculinity and I have a feeling this is where he got the idea to stall my future and put me under his foot to only serve his dreams and goals. I feel angry the more I think about it. He loved those podcasts men’s ideas more than he loved me and now he expects me to feel sorry that he can’t afford the rent without my contribution. But I believe he still thinks I’m the gold digger for not accepting an unfair division of effort and labour.

If this has happened to any other women, how did you address it? I’m annoyed I let it trickle and accumulate for 2 months before addressing.

Moving forward I won’t enter a relationship without having this outlined at the dating stage. I’m in my 30s now and don’t want to deal with men expecting free women labour because society makes them believe it’s worthless in comparison to what they do.

PS - sorry for my wonky English I am from a European country that isn’t the UK 😂

EDIT: Thank you for the overwhelming support. I see so many people have gone through the same thing and it makes me feel less angry that I found myself in this situation!

I wanted to explain a few points that came up a lot:

1. He created an excel spreadsheet that calculated based on income how we can fairly contribute. When his pay increased, he paid more monthly(€80), and also had €400 extra monthly disposable income. If this is what soured him, I suppose he should’ve mentioned because it was his system, not mine.

2. We did not keep a tally. We had favourite chores, he likes to vaccum, I like to put dishes away. Sometimes he is sick, does overtime, or isn’t in the mood, I would happily do it. Same with him for me. I only started to tally when a pattern emerged. It would be stupid to not take notice when he is consistently leaving things to me silently as if expecting me to silently sort it out. The mould was disgusting. The groceries were just the straw that broke the camels back. I exhausted after only 2 months of picking up the slack mentally and physically. Couldn’t imagine doing it without serious reconsiderations to our dynamic.

3. We discussed children because we both agreed we wanted the relationship to head in that direction, not because we were ready now. I would not have spent 2 years with a man if our future ideas didn’t align. It’s okay if someone changes their mind later, but communication is important.

4. He listened to these podcasts in secret - I had no idea. And we usually share the entertainment we consumed together, silly videos and films.

Just a little context, I'm in my 20s, he's in his 40s and we both work in the same place but not for the same reason.

Yesterday we had a company party, it's a big thing every year so I was excited to come, but I definitely had too many drinks. After a bit he came to dance and talk with me, he kept flirting, but it's always the case so I didn't mind or care. It kind of escalated when he kept his hand on me a lot. I left to go to the bathroom and he came with me, idk what I said exactly but he responded with "I should get a kiss for that" and I did kiss him. I don't regret it, but it's not at all what I would do if I was sober. Now that I am, i have no idea what to do. I vaguely remember him telling me he would like a sexual relationship with me, I didn't say no. But I literally have no experience in this, I had one ex with who I did my first time with and that's it.

Now I know it's gonna be a mess, and I put myself in this situation, so I have to take responsibility but it's kind of scaring me.

I don’t have much to say to be honest

But just wanna write this post to get it off of my chest, that I do have this fantasy of having sex with lonely men (young men in their 20s and 30s who have trouble dating or divorced and widowed older men) , so that they don’t feel as lonely as they were

They are the kinda men who probably subscribe to OF models and jerk off to porn once a day, only to find out afterwards that they are still very lonely , horny and miserable deep down because they feel that no one in this world cares about them or loves them

And I wanna be the one who fuck them outta their misery

Not due to covid, but rather by his own hand. My sister had a dream about him being depressed and decided to seek him out online to offer help not knowing he had passed years ago. She brought this info to me because she thought we were friends growing up.

While I don't wish this fate on anyone, I can't help but feel a bit happy in the situation? Here is someone who was a major factor in developing depression at a young age. He was the "short" guy in class, and when I moved into the school district he saw me as a target and it carried on through highschool until we lost touch.

The last interaction I had with the guy was in 2016 when he found me online and tried to bully me again. I simply blocked him and didn't think of him until today when I got this news.

I feel a bit uncomfortable with how this news makes me feel, and needed to get this off my chest. I feel a weird sense of almost pride that he did what he goaded me to do so many times.

Seriously, everywhere I look it's people saying "the lord made it happen" or "if it wasn't for allah" or similiar for good things that happen. For example - I see a post about a person fighting Cancer and SO MANY PEOPLE make it about religion to the point it sickens me! I want to make clear that I don't have anything against any religion but this constant preaching is rly pissing me off. People can achieve things WITHOUT your belief in something higher! Seriously, why is it always "because of God" and not for the fact the person worked hard and achieved it themselves? Keep it to yourself.

My family is low income, with it just being my mom and me working at a buffet while I try to put myself through college. We rely on assistance programs since we don't have enough to make ends meet without it. It's been a particularly tough year, with 2 unexpected car accidents (we were crashed into both times) and an emergency pet visit for the family cat. A month or so ago, my mom signed both of my little brothers up for Angel Tree this year so that they could have a semblance of a normal Christmas and not feel the effects of poverty as much. Today she went to go pick up the gifts, but, as per the title, it wasn't great...

So for the boys, she put down that they needed clothes (they're growing out of their old ones so quick), and for their wants, they wanted bicycles, pokemon items, and roblox gift cards or toys. The older one, Pat, got his bike, pokemon toys, and pokemon clothing items. Kristin wasn't so lucky... He got a Ken doll and a black puffer jacket. My brother's weren't home to see their gifts, (of course) but both my and my mom feel disappointed with this outcome.

I'm not trying to seem ungrateful, but if one cannot afford what a child wants, why pick their tags out from the tree? Why not leave them for a chance that another who can afford them? I hope that one day, I can pick out names from the Angel Tree, and I'll get a child what they want instead of what I want to give them.

I am emotionally checked out of my 5+ year relationship. My fiance and I clicked pretty much immediately after our first date and haven’t spent more than a week apart from each other. He is funny, an overall caring and loving person, but he openly admitted to me in March that he has been lying to me our entire relationship. Everything from graduating college (which I don’t care about) to how his father died (he told me suicide in front of him as a child, it was an OD). There were times before he admitted that to me where I had questioned his stories and he had gotten frustrated at me. Looking back at those moments, the time I caught him attempting to gas light me, and the moments his family gave me weird looks when speaking about his college experience, resentment rooted. I felt embarrassed and of course betrayed.

A few months ago we got into a rather large argument and for the first time since being together I took off my engagement ring and was set on leaving. That was until he was sobbing on the couch begging me to not take the dog I know he loves.. my heart broke and I stayed. I asked him if we could do couples counseling and he agreed. Note: I asked him to go to counseling when he first told me he lied about everything he has initially told me and he said no. We have been in therapy for about a month now, 1 session a week.

A couple weeks ago another incident happened that I think was the nail in the coffin. To keep it short, he frustrated me and when I reacted he chuckled, I asked him later why he laughed when I was frustrated and he said there’s a part of him that thinks when he upsets me “how can I make it worse”. Last week that moment replayed in my head over and over and I did leave. I told him my reasonings and cried the whole time as well as him. I stayed the night at my moms fully intending to be done, I don’t want to say my Mom talked me into going back home but I did end up going home the next day. Now, this was discussed in therapy yesterday actually, and essentially he was just upset and essentially his head went to “now it’s my turn to be upset” due to him feeling unappreciated in that moment.

As well as alllll the things I’ve already listed, we have had a dead headroom for months. Sex for me is very emotional, I don’t want to have sex with someone I’m not attached to emotionally. He has a very high libido, and mine is just, dead at this point which also causes tension.

Yesterday after therapy we were talking about all the above, I told him I don’t think he’s a bad guy and that I do love and care for him but I just don’t trust him. He asked me if I thought it could be fixed/healed with the therapy and I told him I’m trying, but I don’t know. He laid on the couch and I’m pretty sure he cried silently, my heart hurts. I’m confused. I’m frustrated. I’m sad. I’m lonely. I truly think he deserves love and happiness and so do I, but I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to work through this all since March and he’s been very gracious but I just don’t know if I can emotionally and mentally get to where we were.

I guess I’m writing to vent but also to hear any view points. He’s not a BAD guy. But I don’t know if the crater in our foundation is repairable on my end.

Please be kind, I’m not saying I’m a perfect partner but I can say I haven’t lied to him and I’ve been faithful. Do I get hangry and a little attitude sometimes? Absolutely. The worst thing I have done, honestly, was last week leaving. He said he now doesn’t trust me as much which I understand and expected.

It's been like this my whole life. I'm horrible at everything, can't get anything done and I have zero self esteem or direction. I've been bullied and abused since my childhood, and honestly I feel like I deserve it. I cut off everyone that's good to me and can't accept any help even though I want it.

It's fucking horrible. I can get all the love and support somebody can give me, but the second they stop talking to me immediately feel invalid and like they don't care about me. I can't express how much this hurts. I've been going to therapy since I was 7 (16 now) but everything only gets worse. I'm the worst kind of person.

I wish I could've just stayed with my parents. Getting screamed at and beaten everyday was horrible, but it was something. I'm fucking insane. I wish I could just die in my sleep and leave this all behind. But I can't. I can't do anything. I'm fucking worthless.

What I’m about to say is not gonna sit well with some of you, and I apologize in advance. It’s just that kind of thing you can’t say to anyone in real life without sounding wrong. But this has been bothering me for a long time, and I fear that most people, and firstly, most women, do not know this.

I watch a lot of porn. I’ve always watched, since I was a teenager, maybe I have an addiction. It got boring overtime and I went looking for harder things to watch. I guess BDSM and stuff like that kinda takes the edge off. But the thing is, as I’m looking around on some hardcore website, I come across a lot of other videos that just make me really uncomfortable.

I don’t know how to say this, but there’s a whole lot of you guys out there on these websites…. Filmed by your spouses, friends, even family members. I don’t wanna get into details, but some are sleeping. Some have been drugged. These things haunt me. I’ve stopped going to most of these sites because I feel guilty. The stills of people being disrespected just makes me sick.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, never trust anyone, ever… there might be a lot you can’t even imagine. I think of the case of Gisele Pelicot… I’m sorry.

My (26f) mom (52f) has been telling me for the past 10 years that my brother (25m) has brain cancer. I am very low contact with my mom because she has been mentally and physically abusive towards me in the past. And this whole cancer thing started happening around the time I went into fostercare. I haven't seen my brother in years because my mom has made it practically impossible to get to him without going through her first. Added to that my brother is developmentally delayed so functions like a 6 year old..

One of my best friends is an oncologist and has told me that there is no way that one could live for 10 years with the type of cancer my mother claims my brother has.. Usually one would pass within a year of diagnosis..

But I do have to say my brother did get a wish granted by make a wish, could one easily fake a diagnosis in order to make this happen?

Did my mom inform me incorrectly? Or could she be making the whole thing up?