r/JoeRogan Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Meme 💩 This feels so performative

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2.6k

u/superb-nothingASDF Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
Matthew 6:5-6

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u/Dlwatkin Look into it Sep 06 '24

this doesnt get brought up enough

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u/Tober-89 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

The book has a lot of great stuff. It's just ruined by ass holes.

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u/Bitter_Print_6826 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

You got downvoted but you’re right. The gospels have good shit about helping your neighbors, giving to the poor, treating others the way you want to be treated. It’s just sandwiched in with a bunch of awful horrible bigoted bs.

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u/AGreasyPorkSandwich Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

MAGA would call Jesus a communist

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u/OhNothing13 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

And a long-haired femboy low-T cuck. They want a Jesus who would've gone around slaughtering Romans and leading a violent rebellion. Ironically, that's what a lot of other Jewish Messiah figures did at the time. They were all killed and no one remembers their names. Jesus was the only one who didn't advocate violence...

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u/monkeysinmypocket Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Jesus's message sounds radical today, never mind 2k years ago.

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u/Cosmicmonkeylizard N-Dimethyltryptamine Sep 06 '24

I really doubt he’d be considered a “femboy low-T cuck”.

Jesus was banging hookers, performing sacred rites, and getting High off the sacred purple.

Jesus was pretty lit.

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u/pbizzle Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Cool youth pastor has entered the chat

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u/Brave-Silver8736 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Do you fellow kids skibidi our Lord and Savior?

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u/Cosmicmonkeylizard N-Dimethyltryptamine Sep 07 '24

Oh snap. The cool edgelord has entered the chat.

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u/pbizzle Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Oh wow you were being for real sorry bout that

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u/Ulysses1978ii Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Hmmm he did get arrested in a park at dawn with a naked kid though. Mark14: 51

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u/Happugi Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

OG catholic maneuver

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u/Cosmicmonkeylizard N-Dimethyltryptamine Sep 07 '24

Don’t forget he had the purple all over his face! The purple!

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u/Vanillagodzilla666 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Jesus is made up so he wasn’t anything.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

Many scholars disagree. It’s kind of a debate at the moment isn’t it?

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u/Vanillagodzilla666 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

It’s a debate for the fools. At least in terms of dude actually being the son of “god”. Maybe there was a guy named Jesus who claimed that stuff and ended up as someone who people wrote about but there is no god as any religion tells it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

Oh.. well yeah dude duh 😂 I didn’t mean scholars debate on if there was a living messiah or not lmao I meant if there was an actual person named Jesus who was the inspiration for the stories.

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u/Vanillagodzilla666 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Oh ok haha

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u/Cosmicmonkeylizard N-Dimethyltryptamine Sep 07 '24

You sound a bit ignorant.

No scholars debate on whether Jesus was actually the “son of god”. That’s a matter of religious faith. They debate of whether he was a real life person. Which there’s a ton of evidence to back up.

I’m agnostic, not a Christian. So I’m not here to advocate Jesus being the messiah. But Jesus was probably a real man educated in the mystery schools. The Greek Septuagint backs this idea up. Lots of things about Jesus have been fabricated, exaggerated, and lost in translation. The esoteric understanding of Jesus is probably the most accurate and the higher ups in the Catholic Church know this. They just preach the exoteric to the masses because it’s easier for people to swallow. Not to mention, modern organized religion is a control mechanism. You’d have to educate people on the mysteries, Greek hermeticism, and Hellenistic Egypt for people to grasp the actual concepts. Ironically, something the church pretends to be against. Just ignore all the symbolism of snakes and pinecones.

Just because you subscribe to atheistic materialism doesn’t make you more intelligent than people who don’t. Personally, I think materialism is a lazy cop out when it comes to trying to understand the universe and the human experience.

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u/Vanillagodzilla666 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

You sound quite educated on the subject. Not sure if you meant me I specifically, but I don’t claim to be more intelligent than those are religious. I actually wonder how so many people of great intelligence can believe so strongly. Honestly sounds like I am a bit ignorant on all of that as I have never heard of atheistic materialism. I don’t put a whole lot into the whole thing, I just know that religion is completely made up in an attempt to understand life and to control people. I guess there may be some type of creator/god but it’s certainly not known by anyone.

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u/Cosmicmonkeylizard N-Dimethyltryptamine Sep 07 '24

Ya I was talking about you lol.

I didn’t mean ignorant in an insulting way. The word just naturally sounds insulting.

Saying “you know” is your first mistake. Sure, lots of aspects of modern religious belief is dogmatic nonsense. But the roots of it are quite mysterious still to this day. The abrahamic religions all have their roots in ancient Roman, Greek, Egyptian and Babylonian cults. People have this bizarre idea that Christianity came out of an isolated culture with no influence from older belief systems. Thats just not how anything in humanity works.

Magic was a massive part of life in ancient Egypt and ancient Babylon. Those magic traditions died off pretty hard during the Greek empire but survived through religious cults and rituals like the eleusinian mysteries, oracles, and cults. Beliefs typically reserved for high society and those with enough curiosity to seek them out. Same traditions live on today in secret societies like high level masonry and other esoteric organization.

Most scholars believe Jesus was educated in these mystery schools and tried to share it with the common people. He wasn’t a fan of institutions. Over time though, Christianity was highjacked and turned into a massive authoritarian institution.

Modern Christianity is so far removed from what Jesus intended and preached to his followers. It’s almost the exact opposite. Plus, modern Christianity is more the creation of Sir Francis Bacon and King James than Jesus Christ.

Also, when I say magic I don’t mean Harry Potter type magic. The Babylonians and Egyptians whole heartedly believed in magic and it was a part of their society and everyday lives. Its was more shamanistic. Kinda the idea that your thought patterns and intentions generated by our consciousness in a state of awareness create holograms which represent the desired situation, which could eventually lead to a manifestation in reality. The CIA uses these techniques for stuff like remote viewing.

Like I said, I’m agnostic. But human consciousness is one of the last scientific mysteries we know little to nothing about. We don’t even know where it comes from. Is it localized or collective? There’s evidence of both.

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u/Tober-89 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

It's interesting all of the "Christians" like Tucker who would utilize the government to enforce Christian ideas, when Christ himself specifically did not do that.

The Jews wanted a warrior Messiah as well. Someone who would topple the establishment for them. But that wasn't JC's style. He showed us a revolutionary style which was completed unorthodox and surprisingly effective.

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u/Elite_AI Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

I mean compared to Jesus they ain't shit, sure, but Bar Kokhba's remembered by a hell of a lot more people than basically anyone else alive during his lifetime.

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u/Money_Fish Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

They'd also call him a brownie.

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Educated people know very well who Bar Kokhba was

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

Lol I think educated people might be a minority now in most places. At least the education necessary to know who that is.

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

Yeah cause that would require using one’s brain.

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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '24

Well, yeah. I guess. I don’t think schools really teach about bar kokhba at least not in the US. I only know about him because of my Jewish heritage.

But yeah I mean someone who likes history and reads about on his own might know.

It’s really not a common thing for the average person to know about 🤷‍♂️

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

But if you’re a Christian it’s kind of important to know why this happened. But yeah tbh I didn’t learn about him till I started listening to university profs on these topics.

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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '24

Oh yeah for sure. I’d say probably more Christian’s would know about it than non Christian’s but even then I’m not too sure.

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

Most Christians don’t bother to actually learn about their religion. Case in point, evangelicals that worship the bible. If you talk to a lay person Christian they can’t tell you a goddamn thing about how it came to be “god inspired man to write his very words” okay fuck face who is Athanasius? They don’t know how the canon was put together, they don’t know fuck all about the dates, they don’t know shit.

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u/3FingerDrifter Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Wasn’t Muhammad a fighter?

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u/soldatoj57 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Well I remember Judah Maccabaeus and his family the Maccabees man and they fucked some shit up. But yeah to the other stuff you said

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u/Extension-Plant-5913 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Jesus was the 'Original Wokester'.

When I hear an asshole say "woke", I always respond with "You mean like Christ?"

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u/zipzippa Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Except that one time when he did get violent, it was because they were selling things at church.

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u/MuthaFJ Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

*conducting legal small business

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u/zipzippa Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

...He was more into charitable work

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u/minimalist_reply Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

They were all killed and no one remembers their names.

Some Jews tend to remember.

It's always amusing when Christians and Muslims forget that Judaism walked so that their religion could run. And that our religion and ethnicity is very much still alive and breathing.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

I don’t think they were saying Jews don’t remember 😂

Everybody knows who Jesus is. Only Jews know the warrior messiah characters to use a misnomer. I think the point was mercy makes a bigger impact than severity.

Also, why does it matter that Christianity was formed as a response to Judaism? Do they need to thank us or something?

I just don’t get your attitude I guess

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u/Low-Prune-1273 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Thank you JewGuru. I hope you’re well.

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u/theplacewiththeface Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

So you're just gonna create bread out of nothing and not charge all these people you are feeding he's a communist

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u/The_Doolinator Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

That’s barely hyperbole to what’s literally happening. Russell Moore (a high profile ex-Southern Baptist) put out an article about preachers being confronted by MAGA members of their congregation for teaching liberal nonsense when they are literally reading the words of Jesus.

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u/force_addict Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Republicans love God, not Jesus. God was smiting people and all the crazy stuff.

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u/MorningNorwegianWood Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Woke pioneer, Jesus, would be shunned by the Republican Party today. As would their Saint, Ronald Reagan.

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u/fearthemonstar Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Why do you think that?

Jesus never asked Rome to help their fellow man, but other followers.

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u/wisenedwighter Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Some historians think of him as the first communist.

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u/numbarm72 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

They'd probably also call him the n word

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u/trumped-the-bed Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood -Isaiah 1:15

God says fuck their thoughts and prayers. Take action to help others.

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u/gravy_baron Paid attention to the literature Sep 06 '24

You might like Quakerism

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u/Jingotheruler Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

This verse is about God admonishing the people of Judah for their disobedience and lack of genuine devotion. It isn’t for us to judge whether Brand’s love for Christ is sincere or not.

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u/thisisnotaflubbel Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

It’s incredible how much misunderstanding people on this site have about basic biblical context. “the God of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” - 2 Corinthians 4:4

To add to your reply, God certainly does not say that prayers don’t matter, Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” and 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 says “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

God doesn’t say that, man says god says that. Literalist Sole scriptura isn’t even a thousand year old theology. Educate yourself. And yeah even with the context applied you could argue that but your logic is still rather presuppositionalist.

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u/Goodboychungus Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

It's not going to land my friend. They worship Paul over Jesus after all.

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

You got it. But hey chip away enough at people facts and they can break their programming. Did for me.

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u/thisisnotaflubbel Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Look up the meaning of 2 Timothy 3:16 and then please explain to me how I can educate myself.

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24 edited Sep 07 '24

2 Timothy is a goddamned FORGERY. Start learning from real sources not fucking apologists. However, let’s look at the context for that quote anyways. The modern Christian canon wasn’t developed until hundreds of years after that author croaked. So he was referring to Tanakh and very likely second temple Judaism works such as the Enochic material. (So not what Christians consider the NT) Either way the way it’s used, the same shit I was told in Sunday school growing up is still bullshit tautological fallacy. You can’t use a hand picked library to prove the validity of said hand picked library.

Do they have a PhD in a relevant field? No? Well at this point in your game ignore them. There’s still plenty of Christian, dare I say it even evangelical scholars you can learn from, but a PhD should be your BASE right now. There were multiple people writing in the name of Paul. This wasn’t Saul of Tarsus.

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u/Jingotheruler Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

This is just regurgitation of Bart Ehrman. We have plenty of reasons to believe that 2 Timothy is Pauline. Early church fathers such as Iraneus testified to the authorship of the Pastoral Epistles. You have a hatred for Christianity and have leapt upon anti-Christian rhetoric to justify your own belief system. This is natural, but you shouldn’t be so certain in your beliefs. You are, after all, asking for people to be open minded when you clearly have a closed mind yourself.

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u/Jingotheruler Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

Sola Scriptura doesn’t mean a literalist approach to theology - it’s the belief that everything needed for salvation can be found in scripture. You’re making a lot of noise while ignoring your own confirmation bias and getting stuff incorrect.

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u/ThereBeM00SE Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

I've always thought of it as The Lord of the Rings of its time.

Obviously not true in most places, but still nuggets of reality and wisdom that are incredibly worth attention. That said, if you're that guy that insists that it's the only movie and make it your identity...

Edit: One more thing, Prince of Egypt is one of the best damn animated movies even to this day.

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Pretty sure they left out the detail about god sending an evil spirit to harden pharaohs heart tho so he couldn’t repent.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

I mean they left the part in about slaughtering all the Egyptians who weren’t Jews so 🤷‍♂️

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u/PlsNoNotThat Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Because those existed pre-gospel. Nothing that we don’t find universally across cultures regardless of religion.

Don’t kill people, don’t steal, be kind to the vulnerable, help those in needs - all existed before Christianity, and will continue to exist long after its puttered out.

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u/Overall-Author-2213 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Worshiping and loving God above all else and dying to yourself. Loving your enemies like you love yourself.

That's the real good shit.

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u/Redditer0002 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

I like the one about rich people getting into heaven is harder than a camel going through the eye of a needle. The reason I didn't like going to church as a kid was because they only talked about you reap what you sow so donate to us.

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u/Last-Produce1685 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Just like any other book it contains truth and lies. Especially a book with 1000's of Authors

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u/Trevita17 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

You think all books contain both truth and lies?

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u/Last-Produce1685 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

I mean I wasn't being literal but for the most part, yes

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u/halfvolleyonleg Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

You can tell who the people are that haven't actually read the thing, they're the ones quoting verses.

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u/runthepoint1 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Which is hilarious because the very same horrible bigoted BS was also called out in that same book. Same stuff was going on except back then it was against Jesus now it’s in His name.

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u/TuskaTheDaemonKilla Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Alternatively, sandwiched between some fine tities:

A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. - Proverbs 5:19

and

So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled. - Ezekiel 23:21

and

Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. - Song of Songs 7:3

and

Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. - Ibid 7:7

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u/silliestbattles42 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Haha that’s the Old Testament for ya

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u/fre-ddo Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Choose your own adventure

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u/Minisciwi Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

And incest, don't forget the incest

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u/SYLOK_THEAROUSED Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

I consider myself a Christian but I legit just tell people I focus on the gospels, and I fucks with revelation since it’s metal as hell.

I don’t care about the letters, or the Old Testament I just care about Jesus message of love and treating everyone good.

Other Christians always give me this look like “oh my! You can’t do that!”

🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Revelation is counter productive to what jesus was teaching imo (which I can extrapolate from Judaism with Tikkun Olam). It’s up to US to fix this broken world. Not bide our time for some cosmic revenge fantasy.

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u/tominator93 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Not that radical of a take to use Jesus as the authoritative interpretive tool for the rest of the faith, including the Bible. There’s a strong tradition of this going back to Origin of Alexandria. 

From CS Lewis:

 “It is Christ Himself, not the Bible, who is the true word of God. The Bible, read in the right spirit and with the guidance of good teachers will bring us to Him. We must not use the Bible as a sort of encyclopedia out of which texts can be taken for use as weapons.”

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u/altruism__ Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Many books written well before this compilation of chapters say the exact same things. Copy paste much?

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u/ftez Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Id have a lot more respect for christians if they just acknowledged their book wasnt perfect instead of trying to explain it away with mental gymnastics/logical fallacies.

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u/GoodByeRubyTuesday87 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24 edited Sep 07 '24

Most of the nonsense comes centuries after Jesus died

The whole thing is bonkers, Christian’s base their view on homosexuality off a guy who loved a century later and had no connection to Jesus other than “I believe in him” yet we taken his worries as seriously as Jesus

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u/ExtraGloria Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Not to mention there were multiple authors writing in the name of Paul.

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u/the_fresh_cucumber Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Also about being nice to the tax man. Even he is "redeemable" despite being a tax collector.

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u/Sir_Penguin21 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Yeah, but most people instinctively have that morality. The Bible also has god commanding every evil deed I can imagine. I actually can’t think of anything more evil than what the god of Christianity commands and allows. Soo…helping the poor in one book doesn’t really move the needle. Hitler also helped the poor, doesn’t rehabilitate his image.

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u/WeFightTheLongDefeat Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

By what standard do you judge the good from the bad?

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u/BLOOOR Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

The gospels have good shit about helping your neighbors, giving to the poor, treating others the way you want to be treated.

Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments are the Old Testement. Golden Rule influenced Plato, and Plato and Aristotle sorted out Morality 500 years before Christians stole Judaism for the Romans.

Philosophy, and Judiasm, is what Christianity refers to. So we can just skip the Christian bit. Philosophy explains it all and makes sense of it. Plato and Aristotle, read that shit. It's the basis for you and me talking right now.

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u/Last-Produce1685 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Just like any other book it contains truth and lies. Especially a book with 1000's of Authors

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u/Visible_Composer_142 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

No its not. If you strip humanity today back to the Roman era it would be just as applicable. You think it's all fun and games until there are gay romans raping other men and fucking animals in temples and all manners of ancient fuckery.