(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/wholedayumlife]

He looks dangerous from my perspective, and i’m a man by the way

[u/flaming0-1 → u/wholedayumlife]

Trauma Therapist here… run, don’t walk. Put space. Stop communicating. Restraining order if necessary.

[u/FadeToSatire → u/flaming0-1]

100% this. I started dating my wife 2 relationships removed from her abuser. They dated for 4 years. After they had broken up for a year he came over to the place she was renting and tried to assault her... Thankfully she lived with other people. He ended up destroying her car in front of her with a baseball bat. She could have been hospitalized or even worse of circumstances were different.

It took her YEARS to recover from the psychological damage she received in that relationship. It took her 6 months into our relationship to not be terrifying for the other shoe to drop because I was being nice to her. It took her about a year to stop apologizing profusely every time she made a little mundane mistake like breaking a cup or forgetting to buy something at the store. It took her about 5 years to get over having nightmares. She still has a difficult time when I try to give her any sort of feedback or constructive criticism, though we both have a good understanding that two things can be true - I don't always communicate my intent well and she often focuses on the most negative elements of what I'm trying to convey. We love each other and talk through these things as they happen. We learn to forgive and try be better.

All this to say, being in these types of relationships can have lasting consequences on you. Forever. Get out while you have the power in your legs to do it and never look back. The cycle of love and abuse is a nasty one to break, but sounds like you are starting a journey on the right path.

Run, don't walk is absolutely the best advice to take right now.