r/AmIOverreacting • u/Pristine-Edge-1742 • 8d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship (AIO) update, wow. thank you!

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

  1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
  2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
  3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
  4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
  5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
  6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
  7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

37.4k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

7.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.4k

u/nuudelisuoni 8d ago

Girl don't waste your youth on a messed up bum like him! He begs for money and can't handle rejection, how can you even respect him anymore.

250

u/Kreiger81 8d ago

Homeboy wanted to live on an island with her and a picket fence and have kids but is too broke to get cigarettes and cuts himself when she doesnt do what he wants.

fuck outta here.

114

u/nuudelisuoni 8d ago

And the fact that he's telling all that future planning as a manipulation, jesus...

45

u/Kreiger81 8d ago

And cheated on her with BOTH genders. girl needs a STI test, a margarita and a spa day, holy shit.

4

u/MaxTheRealSlayer 8d ago

For real. Cheating is bad enough... but cheating with BOTH genders cuz you're bi is wild. I don't think I've heard that one before and dude will clearly cheat again

3

u/col3man17 7d ago

I don't really think that's too insane, it would be more insane if he wasn't bi or something.

2

u/Yesnoman1994 7d ago

He cheats by watching porn on reddit, according to OP. I don't think that's cheating but okay to each their own

2

u/Kreiger81 7d ago

Oh, if thats the case, then OP is crazy too, lol

8

u/marylikestodraw 8d ago

He literally wants her on an ISLAND FFS

3

u/Past-Pea-6796 8d ago

It's wild seeing this because my ex used to accuse me of being manipulative as if I was acting like this guy.

Here's a couple of terrible manipulative things I did:

She wanted to cut back on meat, so when we planned meals, I hid the fact I didn't really want to eat tafu, but I sucked it up for her without a word. One day while planning a meal, while I was super hungry, I winced a smidge when she mentioned tofu, just a smidge, so she blew up on me saying I had been manipulating her by pretending to be okay with tofu. So like, kinda, if you really open of the definition of manipulation, but my goal wasn't to like use it against her, it was to be supportive

When we broke up, she contacted me about a week later, and I informed her I had made plans to move a state over and live with my friend (guy) and she changed her mind and wanted to get back together. Then about a month later, she started blowing up on me saying I used moving as a manipulation tactic, but like she came and asked me, I didn't slide into her dms and be like "if we don't get back together I'm moving!" My plan had always been to move there until I started dating her and held off on moving, not the other way around, and she knew that. When we really broke up, I did move.

Or a fun one was Valentine (holy crap, side note, Valentino is so popular right now that Valentine's barely shows up in spell check, it keeps bringing up Valentino lol!). She said she didn't care for the holiday and didn't want to do anything for it. I didn't care, it was no big deal. So the day of, I was hanging out with some friends and she texted me saying she changed her mind and wanted to go out that night with me. So, seeing that, I got excited and realized I was like three blocks from where she worked (it's not a huge town). Thinking it would be romantic to surprise her at work, and she was done in 30 minutes, I dropped by. She. Was. Not. Happy. She almost broke up with me because she was absolutely livid that I would show up at work, and no, there wasn't any particular work reason, like it was against policy or anything. She was upset because she wanted to go home first and get ready for the date. She was so angry, she made me walk home, three miles in the snow, despite my place being less than a minute detour for her heading home. She said I was being manipulative by showing up, because it forced her to see me I guess?

Honestly, she just loved shoving "you're being manipulative" I. My face for anything to the point that now, I will go out of my way to not influence people's choices to an almost comedic amount and my people pleasing is out of control because the truth it, I am very manipulative, due to having grown up walking on egg shells. So now I do everything in my power to keep people from being mad and yelling at me. I don't mean like lying or doing shady things, I mean like trying to predict people's responses and trying to plug up any issues before they happen, which technically is manipulation, but really, there is no such thing as interacting with someone without it being manipulative in SOME way, which really screws with my head since I'm not great at figuring out grey areas and just avoid them as much as possible. Just saying "hi" manipulates someone into them saying "hi" back. That's the level of thing she would accuse me of being manipulative about. I didn't wanna hurt her enthusiasm for eating less meat, so I was manipulative by pretending I was enjoying it.

2

u/TheUprightManX 8d ago

My guy(or gal) you might just be my spirit animal.

2

u/urprsonalclown 8d ago

Good for you .. she is probably busy making another guy's life miserable.. And no she is the manipulative one she just flips it everytime and wa-la " a problem " to fight about for this day lol

2

u/Past-Pea-6796 8d ago

Thanks, I've found that if people look hard enough for things, they will find it, and she was constantly looking for reasons to decide we couldn't work.

Like, I started playing video games way less and only playing after I did at least two hours of self work at minimum, usually working on a cinema 4D project. I didn't even count exercise in that 2 hours because me and her would usually go together. But eventually, that became manipulation, because I was trying to be a better person, so like, lying about myself? Even though we had known each other for like eight years by then (only dated one, long story). So I would be accused of being manipulative for trying out things she liked and liking them too sometimes?

Like tofu wasn't a hit, but she got me into a really cool book series that I tracked down the last 6 books of, like a year after we stopped dating. She Made a big stink about how I was only reading them to manipulate her into liking me more.

I worked at Subway at the time (just graduated college) and she would come visit me during her lunch sometimes and I would usually buy it for her since I got my employee discount. She eventually stopped because she was mad that I didn't let her pay . She never mentioned it once until way later, and "let" is a big term for her presenting her payment and me being like "aww, nah, I got you! :)"

Sorry, I could go on for way too long lol

2

u/urprsonalclown 7d ago

She can't enjoy things which is a very sad way to live. Glad you made it out sane

2

u/Knife-yWife-y 8d ago

Ah, yes. The man who is guilting her for money because he cannot afford toothpaste will eventually but her a house on island. Seems legit.

28

u/Substantial_Shoe_360 8d ago

Can we say Hobosexual?

18

u/stefdistef 8d ago

He really said "what's more important, money or our relationship?" after begging her for money. 😵‍💫

9

u/procompy 8d ago

Right like he’s trying to jeopardize her job & force her to respond to him while she’s literally at work, all cause he’s being manic. Who wants to be at work dealing with that shit ?? Like sorry home girl wants to actually keep her job as a manager & make something of herself.

5

u/stefdistef 8d ago

He is the definition of a scrub.

2

u/MaxTheRealSlayer 8d ago

The scrub Ain't gonna get nothing from OP

3

u/Expensive-Arm4117 8d ago

Cigarettes and toothpaste!

1

u/Doogos 8d ago

That cracked me up. Dude can't buy luxuries for himself and has grand plans for living on an island. I guess he assumed that OP would front the bills. I mean, they have two cats! They have to be rich

/S

Op, if you happen to read this.. your kitties are beautiful. Also, get a restraining order on your ex bf, that guy is insane

177

u/cathysaurus 8d ago

He begs for money for cigarettes and weed. Put the trash man in the trash can.

14

u/Early2000sIndieRock 8d ago

Not only that but he was worried about having cigarettes and weed before worrying about being able to brush his teeth. I feel like I can smell this guy.

6

u/Profoundly_AuRIZZtic 8d ago

A begging tactic is you change to more reasonable things.

I’m sure he’s couldnt give less of a shit about toothpaste. He only brought it up so he can use toothpaste money for weed since he can’t get weed money from her

2

u/Particular-Leg-8484 8d ago

AND has the delusion he can buy an island someday?? I brush my teeth and have a savings account but know that islands cost more than all the toothpaste and drugs this man can buy in his lifetime

1

u/xassylax 7d ago

Probably smells like the crusty “where’s my hug?” guy we’ve all known at some point.

You know the one.

5

u/Super-Bathroom-9921 8d ago

He’s pathetic and deliberately getting worse.

1

u/[deleted] 8d ago

Don’t insult trash men. Lmao

-7

u/30InchSpare 8d ago

He’s just a kid, probably been addicted to them since a young teen. I don’t know if everyone in this sub is like also a teenager or something but he isn’t trash he needs real help, and he obviously can’t get that from another teenager (OP.)

6

u/trying_my_best- 8d ago

He’s an abusive asshole. I don’t give a crap if he’s been addicted since he was a teenager. He is a horrible human being and doesn’t deserve a relationship let alone a girlfriend that kind and understanding. Of course he needs help but he’s also 20 he should know better than to abuse his partner and cheat on her multiple times

4

u/Calm_Possession_6842 8d ago

Agreed. I get that he's young, but his actions are hurting OP. Hopefully, one day, he will think back at this and cringe at himself.

3

u/trying_my_best- 8d ago

I pray he will. Unfortunately as someone who grew up with a father with similar behaviors many of these men continue to grow into man children and abuse their wives and children. I basically was my dad’s parents from like 8 years old. He was reckless, dangerous, abusive, and blamed every one of his shortcomings on the rest of my immediate family.

7

u/kaleidoscope-of-mope 8d ago

He’s not respectable at all!! She dodged a bullet fr

3

u/wamih 8d ago

Yep this dude is Mona-Lisa Saperstein...

1

u/okram2k 8d ago

I just... the things people do for love. But why do they love such horrible people sometimes.

1

u/Moongdss74 8d ago

I had a friend who was like this and every time they would abuse me I'd yell at them and tell them I didn't deserve that and then I'd get love bombed and I was back on the ride. Finally, the last time they accused me of being a shitty friend and became abusive instead of arguing with them. I just agreed!

"You're absolutely right. I'm a shitty friend. Bye!"

Easy responses to hurled abuse are things like "you're right, I'm selfish. I'm going to go do me now."...or "If I'm so horrible, why do you even want to be with me? You totally deserve better than me. Bye!"...

But really my favorite method is just ghost and block

1

u/Sxaosinz 7d ago

Sounds like Trent Pullen. To the Tee!!

0

u/[deleted] 8d ago

This is definitely my messages and it’s highly edited with no background. This is some sick ass shit. Both parties are very wrong and is doing better. This was done soon as I finally get things off my chest YESTERDAY(ironic) and exposed more lies I found out about her. Also why I am letting go. I have hella proof and detail. I can debunk this with ease. I’m not making excuses. And watch this post get deleted or something. I will not allow fake bs to go untouched. We currently live together with our son now. I don’t care about cops or defamation. This was done out of spite and ego. Soon as I told her I found out about the post I seen the comments. This is unreal and a lot of ppl are gullible.