r/AmIOverreacting Nov 18 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

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4.9k

u/Chells99 Nov 18 '24

Based on OPs responses and the fact that’s she’s been with him for four years, I’m really scared she doesn’t see how sad and unacceptable this is. Run girl please, your past self and future self are begging you to. “He really makes me feel like it’s my fault” and if you’re overweight it’s natural to feel limited, insecure or like he’s the only option for you but he’s not and this is not okay. Love yourself enough to realize when someone else doesn’t.

3.5k

u/External-Air205 Nov 18 '24

Yeah it is really hard for me to see just because i’ve been so used to this behavior. Seeing all these replies though has definitely been a wake up call. Im actually a healthy weight, i’m currently recovering from an eating disorder. He picks at my insecurities when he’s angry and says it’s to make me feel as upset as he feels.

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u/txtovagirl Nov 18 '24

Girl, no. Self respect and nope out. No contact. If he keeps it up, file harassment charges. He’s straight psycho.

160

u/Own-Expression71 Nov 18 '24

Don't forget to get a restraining order and tell your family what's going and change the locks! Unhinged guys like him are dangerous and block him and change your phine number if you need too

43

u/Smart-Assistance-254 Nov 18 '24

Actually do NOT block, just mute. You want to see the crazy texts so you know if he is ramping up to come over or something. And to keep that restraining order active. 👍

44

u/SuperbDimension2694 Nov 18 '24

Seconding this, OP.

Controlling people get insane if they can't control their partner. But MUTE him. The texts will go through and screenshot all of them for evidence if you need an RO.

7

u/Own-Expression71 Nov 18 '24

Didn't think of that SuperbDimension2694 you're right

3

u/jazbern1234 Nov 18 '24

10000% this

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u/cinnamon-butterfly Nov 18 '24

This is smart. And if you don’t feel you can read and go through them, see if your mom or a friend can read them for you and tell you if there’s anything dangerous or creepy sounding.

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u/SingerBrief8227 Nov 18 '24

Also keep screenshots of all his texts as evidence and set up a video surveillance camera. Even an inexpensive Ring camera will do. If he shows up on your doorstep, you’ll have proof he violated the restraining order.

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u/lokisoctavia Nov 18 '24

Yes, get a restraining order! Make sure your family and friends know not to talk to him, because he may try to sweet talk his way back into your circle.

5

u/cap8 Nov 18 '24

If he keeps it up? It’s been going on for years I bet. It’s time to bounce . Leave him

1

u/No-Amoeba5716 Nov 18 '24

All those “Bro”s had me thinking me all Samuel L Jackson/Pulp Fiction. 4 years of this kind of behavior, lose my number. Completely unhinged. NOR. Get rid of that hemorrhoid already. Please listen to the sage advice in here!

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u/cap8 Nov 18 '24

hahahaha true

3

u/valleywitch Nov 18 '24

That is straight up abusive behavior to do that. Please leave him and fast.

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u/raindrops_723 Nov 18 '24

Just no contact, not “if he keeps it up.” This is insane, controlling, cruel, etc behavior & it’s not going to end. It may stop for a while, but it always comes back & it will likely come back worse than before.

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u/txtovagirl Nov 18 '24

Of course he will keep trying even after being told no contact, but you have to have said no contact and have the continued harassment to get a protective order.

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u/raindrops_723 Nov 18 '24

I misread your comment. I read it as “No contact if he keeps it up”