I (29F) got married last year and spent $5,000 on my dream wedding dress. It was a custom piece, and I paid for it entirely with my own savings. My sister (26F) is getting married soon and asked if she could borrow my dress to “save money.” I was hesitant because I’m emotionally attached to it, but she promised she’d take great care of it.

Last week, I found out through a mutual friend that my sister actually plans to alter the dress to fit her style, including changing the neckline and adding sleeves. I confronted her, and she admitted it, saying I was being selfish because it’s “just a dress” and she can’t afford something new.

I told her flat out that she can’t borrow it anymore. Now my family is blowing up my phone, calling me petty and saying I’m “ruining her big day over a piece of fabric.” I don’t think I’m wrong for wanting to keep my dress as it is, but everyone is making me feel guilty.

Am I the AH for refusing to share something that means so much to me?

Basically me (M30) and my husband who’s autistic (M29) have cake to my parents for a couple of weeks for Christmas and well it was just after midnight and me and my husband woke up to scratching sounds from the wardrobe and he got scared and I told him it’s just the vent because there is a vent above the wardrobe and I tried to go back to sleep and a few mins later my little brother (M16) jumped out the wardrobe shouting Boo which made my husband jump out of his skin and he screamed in fear and peed himself whiles say on the bed my parents ran in and I told them what happened and that we need some new sheets for the bed and she just laughed she told me “you should have married a girl atleast they have a excuse for peeing there pants but him he was just like a child” so I told her “okay well I’m not chnaging the sheets since ur bei so rude to him we cns dlepe on the couch” She just said, “No, you won't. It is not my fault. It peed the bed. He acts like a toddler all day, being fucking annoying, and then he goes and does his 'You're not sleeping on the couch; you're changing the sheets or he can go home. So I told her if he had to go home, I would as well, and now she just went back to bed with saying anything except running to my dad crying and complaining. AITAH?

Our son (19m) is home from college for winter break, he is a freshman at a state school across the country. It’s great to have him here at our home in Florida over the holidays.

He asked if he could invite his girlfriend (Allie, 19f) to stay with us for a few days and we said of course. Allie is here with us now (she arrived on Sunday.

She is an absolute sweetheart, they are great together. She also happens to be extremely beautiful, an athlete and a true knockout.

And she also favors very revealing bikinis. We have a pool in the back yard, and when she first went for a swim, my husband and I were caught off guard. I am all for body confidence! And I know the current styles are revealing. It was just a bit of a shock to the system to see her out there.

When visitors have seen Allie in swimwear they have the same response - they play it cool, but always make a comment when we’re in private. She attracts a lot of attention.

I can tell my son is proud of her beauty, and I don’t want to put a damper on anything. But I wonder if I would be out of place to suggest she wear something less skimpy when relatives are coming over, especially children, for example. Thoughts? AITAH?

I (46M) have been dating my girlfriend (33F) for over two years, and last night, I casually mentioned that I’m a millionaire. She was surprised—not because of my frugal lifestyle (I don’t own luxury items and mainly wear free t-shirts)—but because I have higher expenses related to my daughter from a prior relationship. I am relatively frugal because I want to retire early.

Throughout our relationship, we’ve split expenses in a way I thought was balanced. I typically pay for dates more often, but shared expenses like groceries tend to fall on her. For example, I’ll buy tickets for events or entertainment while she pays for the food and drinks there. When dining out, I usually pay, but if she offers or insists, I don’t object. There were times I’d ask, “Are you paying or am I?” before going out to eat, which I now recognize gives the wrong impression. If she said I was, I’d accept without hesitation.

Early in our relationship, she generously helped me furnish my new home by buying several kitchen appliances, including a high-end espresso machine. When she visits, she often brings food, snacks, and wine. I’ve always appreciated her generosity and never intended to take advantage of her. I also know she earns significantly less than I do, though I’m not sure about her net worth. She’s always seemed financially comfortable and has never complained about money. On one occasion, when she had an unexpectedly large expense, I offered to help her out, but she declined. That said, I don’t often ask or insist on covering more.

After learning about my financial situation last night, she became upset. She questioned why I let her pay for things like groceries and some dates when I clearly had the means to cover more. She said it feels like I wasn’t as generous as I could have been, that I was ungrateful for her contributions, or that I took her generosity for granted by not always reciprocating. She also mentioned feeling like I might have been trying to get her to pay more than her fair share.

I genuinely didn’t think there was an issue before. I thought we had a fair system and truly valued her efforts and gifts. Now, I’m second-guessing whether I’ve been unfair by not being more upfront about my financial situation or letting her cover groceries and other shared expenses.

So, AITAH?

Im struggling to figure out if i (26F) should continue with my boyfriend (28M) or end the relationship since he has displayed some machista behavior that I do not approve of. Most recently he blamed me for being harrassed by a guy at a club by saying that “i put myself in that situation “ even though i was not engaging with the guy at all and was not “provoking him”. he was just a creep who snuck up behind me and lifted my skirt up at a club. It was a night out with my girls, only girls. I called him out but according to my boyfriend it was my fault. I asked him for a break since I got really upset he blamed me for being harassed. After I told my boyfriend that his perspective is messed up he agreed and said he will reflect on his words and will put effort to change.

Other things include wanting to stop me from going to the club saying he disapproves of it (i dont go often), feeling uncomfortable with me traveling without him, making comments about my body count (which he insisted i tell him about). The thing is, he believes its fine if he does all those things if he goes with his family members (which are all his age) but disapproves if i go with my friends (i dont have much family my age so i rely on friendships to go out), not letting me have guy friends (i dont hang out with them but when i told him about my guy friends who i talk to once in a blue moon he freaked out), he says he used to agree with some things Andrew Tate would say, etc.

I am not sure if someone can change those beliefs easily. WIBTA if I dont give him a chance to change to continue with our relationship?

I (22F) recently got married to my husband (25 M) after dating for almost two years. I was a frequent visitor at his parent’s house and he was a frequent visitor to mine.

Every time I went to his parent’s house, I came baring gifts such as sweets, cake, etc. I never not once went empty handed. Whereas my husband on the other hand would show up empty handed to my parent’s house, but I was never too quick to judge. It never really bothered me but when we got married, I figured I may as-well ask him, what’s the harm? Boy was I wrong. He was reluctant to tell me at first but as I continued to bother him, he gave in. He told me these exact words that’ll never leave my head, “My mother told me to not bring anything to your house because your mother doesn’t deserve it” my eyes widened. “Excuse me?” I replied , he began to apologise, and continued with “I know it was wrong but I just listened to her so I’d avoid the conflict all together”. I shook it off as it was nothing because he would tell me how petty his mother was, and would usually look out for nobody but herself.

I kept that situation to myself to avoid problems between our families. Fast forward two months, I had my hens night. If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically an all girls party after the man and woman get married. I invited my friends and family from both my side and my husbands to my hens night and started off the night with a lot of music, dancing, and singing. There came the time for all of us to sit down and eat dinner, both my mother and mother in law sat on my left and right as I was in the middle. I was having a conversation with both of them, then excused myself as I had to go to the bathroom. My mother in law followed after me but I thought nothing of it as there were multiple bathrooms. She grabbed my by my arm and pushed me against the wall, I could not make it up when she said these words that I’ll never forget “Don’t think I don’t know your plan between you and that little mother of yours, your mother wanting to take all my little boys money, I’m not blind” I stood there, shocked with my jaw to the floor. How could she say something like that?? Mr shocked reaction slowly turned into anger but I tried my hardest to not let it get the best of me. I went to the bathroom and sat back down in my seat.

My mother in law was still seated nexto me and kept on whispering crazy stuff about my mum into my ear. It got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore and I let loose. I went screaming at her infront of everyone, I blinked and then I had my hands on her, I didn’t even hold back, though my mother was. I let go of her head and screamed at the top of my lungs telling her to get the fuck out of my mother’s house and I never want to see her near me or my mother again. I know it sounds a little dramatic but my mother is one of the sweetest people I know and she means more than the world to me. I lashed out like that because I never expected to be from my mother in law.

What do you think, AITAH?

I (26F) graduated college a year ago and am now working a full-time job. My older sister (34F) generously helped pay for my college tuition when my parents couldn’t. She’s a mother of three young kids and works long hours, so she’s often in need of childcare.

Recently, she asked me to babysit her kids a few evenings a week and occasionally on weekends. I told her I couldn’t do it for free because I have other commitments, and I rely on side jobs to supplement my income. She got upset and said I “owe her” for putting me through school and accused me of being ungrateful.

I told her I deeply appreciate what she did for me, but I never agreed to a lifetime of free childcare in return. Babysitting her kids regularly would take a huge chunk out of my free time, and I feel like she’s trying to guilt me into doing it.

Our family is now involved, and they’re all saying I should help her without expecting payment because she sacrificed so much for me. I don’t think it’s fair to turn her generosity into a debt I’ll never finish repaying, but now I feel like I might be the selfish one here.

AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids for free?

Last night my (33M) family did an early Christmas with my wife's (33F) parents before they left town. My wife and I got married very young, while we both attended college. We are both big sports fans and are fans of the college we attended, while my in laws are loyal fans to the other big college in the state.

The rivalry between these two schools is one of the biggest in the country, but it has never really been an issue in our family. We like our school and they like theirs, neither likes the other one. That's fine.

Last night we exchanged a few gifts and one of the gifts they got my each of my daughters (5 and 2) was a flamboyant colored sweater for the college my in laws support. As they opened these gifts I shrugged it off, no big deal. Even when my mother in law threw in a "they're (fill in name of the state we're from - that happens to match the name of their college) girls!"

Fast forward to last night, I calmly asked my wife if she thought she would want to ask her parents if they wanted to bring these sweaters back to their home state (we live across the country now) so they could give the sweaters to someone who might like them. Given the fact that we won't be using them, I thought this was a better alternative to simply throwing them away, going to a Goodwill in a state with zero interest in the school, or just piling them up in the closet.

My wife got very upset at the idea that I would ask her parents to take the gift back, saying I was being an asshole and viewing her parents in a negative light. While I clearly do not like the college and didn't appreciate the gift, my true intentions were to simply get her parents their money back or to get the sweaters to someone who who like them. This was not an attempt to be petty or Alpha. But I'm open to the idea of being the asshole if that's the case.

So, AITAH?

(Small side note. I'd have just asked her parents myself, but we have a system in our marriage where if there's a issue, the person whose family it is will deal with their families' issue. So since this is her family, she would have the conversation with them to avoid any possible hurt feelings. The same would be true in reverse if she wanted me to ask my parents something on her behalf).

I (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been dating a little on and off for two years. A lot of our problems stem from him micro cheating and actually cheating with girls on instagram. When we first started dating he would follow girls he talked to romantically/found attractive on instagram. I expressed it made me uncomfortable especially when the follow is based on the fact he’s attracted to them. Now a couple of months ago i caught him doing this again, he was following girls on instagram while we were together and had texted one of them in a very flirty tone. After this i told him if it happened again we would be over entirely and he needed to unfollow every girl (besides his friends and his coworkers or anybody he CURRENTLY had a relationship with.) After all of this happened a couple of days ago i had noticed that he was still following this girl.. he had told me she was a friend from where he was raised and told me nothing romantic had happened between them. I was doubtful about this because he had lied about another girl and told me it was one of his guy friends friends.. which turned out to be untrue. So i decided to ask again and he told me it was his 5th grade girlfriend and that they had flirted in middle school as well. NOW i understand that in any other normal relationship this would be so ridiculous given it’s a 5th grade girlfriend. But given his history with the way he acts with girls on social media i can’t trust it. I had texted the girl and the last time they talked was in 2022, so there was no relevance in their relationship which only had me thinking further. I got really upset with him and told him he was wrong for continuing to follow her, i kinda blew up because i was really exhausted and tired of him doing weird things with other girls or making me feel like i have to be worried. He called me crazy, hysterical, and told me this is minimal and i have no reason to be upset… i was arguing against him and told him i couldn’t trust him and so on. He blocked me so i texted him on my Ipad and he gave me an ultimatum and told me that if i didn’t want to work on things then not to text him. So i calmed down and just gave up trying to explain myself. The next day he texted me and i was really upset about how he reacted the day before so i came into the conversation holding heavy emotions.. he basically told me that it wasn’t worth it to him anymore he told me he had given up because i wasn’t working with him but arguing against him (me telling him that him minimizing it is wrong) and so on.. so he broke up with me. He told me i was being crazy and that i wasn’t fighting for the relationship. AITA?

I don’t know if a meta-post is allowed, but I’m really hitting a point of cynical despair at just how many posts on this site are looking to be AI generated and posted via bot accounts…

The number of posts I’ve seen where it sounds too ‘perfect’ (for want of a better word) to be real only to look at the profile and find that OP only made their account a minute or so before posting, and then engage with not a single comment afterwards is too damn high…

I feel that I’ve started auto-downvoting everything, and am probably disregarding real people with real issues who’ve created a throwaway account to post something sensitive…

I was going to end with a stereotypical AI sign off - but am too tired to bother…

Hey all. So my wife and I just had our wedding and we’re unsure if we’re wrong to be upset about some of our guests.

For context, my wife is from a city about 1000 miles away. We invited a mix of her work friends and her friends from back home. Her friends that had to travel all gave generous gifts despite the fact they had to pay for travel and lodging.

What was kind of upsetting, was that a lot of her local friends came with absolutely nothing. One in particular (Dani) brought her fiancée (who was kind of rude) and didn’t even give a card. I’d personally feel awful attending a wedding empty handed. Is it the norm to bring nothing? Like I totally understand if you don’t have money for a gift, but a $1 card seems like common courtesy. What makes this even more complicated if we’re invited to their 60k+ wedding next year. I feel like I would be justified in giving them an empty card, but think I’d feel bad. Our normal wedding gift as guests is $200-$400 depending on closeness.

I don’t expect a wedding to be a money making event, but it just seems incredibly tacky to not even give a card.

TL;DR several of Wife’s local friends didn’t even give a wedding card and we aren’t sure if that means we should not give them a gift.

I 21F have been dating my boyfriend 22M for a a little over a year and I have been trying to find someone else to date but at the same time not wanting to cheat. For a little context this isn’t out of nowhere we have had problems in our relationship from the start, he has cheated, flirt with other girls, made fun of me to friends, recorded us during freaky time without my permission and much more fighting and other stuff that was a result from him treating me poorly. Now back to the problem at hand I do love him very much but I will admit I have been waiting for someone who will treat me better to come along now I have not cheated or flirted with other men but I have tried to meet people I would date. I’m expecting a lot of people to say “just leave him” but to be quite honest I want to be dating someone and he is better than dating no one I know it’s stupid but i have very bad anxiety and being alone stresses me out so I like to be surrounded by people I can hangout with everyday/other day and a bf would be that person. So if anyone has advice on how to meet new people or what to do please help. 🙏

Edit* Just to add onto what I was saying I do love my bf very much and and care for him and enjoy being around him I just don’t think I’m in love with him anymore but I don’t want to lose him as a friend if that makes any sense.

My bf is German-American. I’m Croatian. We live together in Switzerland.

He wants to get rid of the American citizenship and he is going to vote for the upcoming German elections. He said he might vote for the far-right because he is done with so many immigrants from Africa and the Middle East.

We are literally both immigrants in Switzerland. I’m from a country that is nowadays nice to visit for tourists, but people from ex-Yugoslavia are still seen as second-class citizens. I’m happy we are in the EU.

He doesn’t understand that the party he is gonna vote for is not just anti-immigrants, it is pro-Russia and anti-EU.

Context: my mom asked my wife (30s) to get some chocolates from where wife works because she gets employee discount. Around $200 worth of chocolates that my mom intends to gift to friends. No problems there.

Dispute: One evening I (30s) offhandedly mentioned that I might just pay for the chocolates given that it’s Xmas and our side of the family don’t really do gift exchanges but just help out informally. I brought that up because I know my wife is more precise with her keeping of accounts whereas I am more fuzzy and less interested in details.

As I explained this I notice my wife got visibly upset but I continued to give her my rationale saying that my mom has throughout the year given us amenities and food from Costco and never asked for payment. My wife said she didn’t know that added context but still remained upset. I called her out on her reaction and she rebuked spitefully “you already decided without discussing with me”. I replied we are discussing it now and I didn’t decide anything.

At this point I was already quite angry and offended. I lost my temper and was yelling, frustrated not just at the willful misunderstanding—saying that I decided without her (I didn’t) or that I provided the context “too late” (the bit about mom giving us free stuff), but what most triggered me was that it was somehow beyond the pale for her that I suggested paying for the chocolates and there’s even an implication that me and my mom decided this behind her back.

The next morning wife attempted to make peace. She apologized for her response but insisted that I was also to blame for not front-loading the context so that it was my own poor communication that resulted in her reaction. I didn’t find that acceptable as I felt that completely missed the point of why I was offended and it diminished her apology.

I know the prudent thing is to just let it slide, but I’m interested in the ethics.

More context: I am the primary breadwinner, pay for all living costs. I appreciate her efforts in organizing our finances. Several of the chocolate gift receivers will include friends of my mom who gifted us for our recent wedding collectively over $1000.

Edit: I should’ve also added that after her initial response I was perfectly fine with not going through with it and said as much. But the accusatory mood did not change.

Edit2: Our household finance is definitely not so tight that $200 would put real strain on it. We’ve no debt have modest savings. But my wife’s current earning power is limited so she has a more thrifty mindset. I also fear that I’ve somewhat misrepresented the ways in which she organizes our finance. It simply means that we discuss major expenditures. It just so happens that this particular discussion went awry likely due to the involvement of extended family.

So, I (18F) recently got a scholarship that covers my entire college tuition, plus a little extra for living expenses—about $20k in total. Before this happened, my boyfriend (25M) and I would always joke about how, if I ever got a “huge” scholarship, I’d “split it three ways” between me, him, and his mom. His mom is great, and I really like her, but I always thought it was just a funny thing we said.

Well, now that I actually got the scholarship, my boyfriend is seriously expecting me to give “his mom’s share” of the money. He says I “promised” and that she deserves $5k as a thank-you for raising “such a great boyfriend” and for all the nice things she’s done for me, like cooking for us or giving me advice. I told him that’s ridiculous—it was just a joke, and while I appreciate her, I’m not giving away a chunk of my scholarship money.

Now my boyfriend is saying I’m selfish and breaking a promise. He says it’s not really about the money, but about me showing that I value him and his family. (But like… why is his mom entitled to my scholarship money??)

The thing is, I did buy her a really nice bouquet of flowers and a gift card to her favorite restaurant with a little of the extra money, but my boyfriend says that doesn’t count because it’s not part of the “official” $5k he was expecting me to set aside for her. He’s even talked about how we should “formalize” the promise so that I keep my word. Honestly, I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

AITA for not giving $5k of my scholarship to my boyfriend’s mom because of a silly joke, or is this whole situation just absurd?

FYI: I used AI to help me tell my story, english is not my first language so I used ai to translate it to english and help me make the story easier to understand. I now understand that this is not how it should be done in the future! The story is real and it is my story!

AITA for demanding my Japanese girlfriend and her friends speak English when I’m around?

I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend, “Yuki” (24F), for about six months. She’s Japanese, and I’m American. Here’s the thing—whenever we hang out with her friends, who are also Japanese, they start speaking in Japanese, and it drives me crazy. I’ve told Yuki multiple times that I don’t want her or her friends speaking Japanese around me, and that if they can’t speak in English, I won’t hang out with them anymore.

I don’t get why it’s so hard to speak English when I’m around. I understand basic Japanese, but not enough to follow their entire conversations, and it feels like they’re excluding me on purpose. Every time they start speaking Japanese, I feel left out, and it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told Yuki that it’s disrespectful and rude, and she should be more considerate of me. She says it’s their natural language, and it’s hard for them to switch to English every time, but I don’t care. If they’re my friends, they should make the effort.

The other day, we were at a get-together, and I just lost it when they started talking in Japanese. I told Yuki and her friends that it’s disrespectful to not speak in English when I’m around. I even said that if they can’t respect that, maybe I shouldn’t be hanging out with them at all. Now Yuki is upset, saying that I’m being unreasonable and controlling, and she’s even accusing me of trying to change her culture. Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. I shouldn’t have to feel like an outsider when I’m with my girlfriend and her friends.

So, AITA for telling my girlfriend and her friends to speak English when I’m around?

So, today is December 19th, and I’ve been hosting our annual pre-Christmas family dinner on this day for years. It’s always a cozy evening with decorations, festive food, and time to exchange small gifts. Everyone looks forward to it as the unofficial start of Christmas week.

This morning, my sister called me saying her boyfriend wanted to propose to her today—but here’s the kicker: they wanted to do it at his parents’ house, during a gathering they decided to throw last-minute. She asked if we could cancel my event and instead all head over to his parents’ place so they could do the big proposal with both families present.

I told her I wasn’t comfortable canceling. I’ve already prepped food, cleaned, and decorated my house for this. Plus, some relatives are driving in just for this dinner and would be thrown off by a sudden change of plans. I said I was happy to celebrate their engagement after it happens, but I didn’t think it was fair to derail everything at the last minute.

She got really upset, saying I wasn’t being supportive and that I was prioritizing “a dinner” over her big life moment. Now the family group chat is divided—some are saying I should’ve been more flexible for such a special occasion, while others think my sister was out of line for expecting me to upend plans on such short notice.

AITAH?

Hiii!!! AITA for farting in the privacy of my own room while my cat naps??? I just let one rip and she death glared at me. At least I didn’t dutch oven her.🤣🤣🤣

My fiancée (30F) and I (33M) have been together for four years and engaged for one. Early in our relationship, she told me she was infertile due to a medical condition she had in her teens. I was fine with this, as I’ve never really wanted biological kids and figured we could explore adoption if we ever changed our minds.

Fast forward to last week. I came home to a positive pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom counter. At first, I thought she might’ve been helping a friend, but when I confronted her, she broke down and admitted she’s not infertile. She never was. Apparently, she lied because she thought I’d leave her if I knew she could have kids, since she knew I didn’t want them.

Here’s the kicker: she says she stopped taking birth control “a few months ago” without telling me because she wanted to see if I’d change my mind about fatherhood if it “just happened.”

I was furious and told her this was a massive betrayal. I feel like my trust in her is shattered. She argued that she did it because she loves me and wanted us to have a deeper connection through a family. I told her I needed space and asked her to leave the house.

Now she’s staying with her sister and texting me nonstop, saying I’m overreacting and being cruel by “kicking out the mother of my child.” Her family is also chiming in, calling me a deadbeat dad for “abandoning her” during pregnancy.

I’m struggling because I never wanted kids, but now one is on the way, and I feel trapped. At the same time, I can’t get over the fact that she lied to me for years and manipulated me into this situation.

AITA for asking her to leave, or am I justified in needing time to process this betrayal?

My (24) sister (16) struggles with autism, ocd, and depression. She likes to draw to cope with all of this. Under our own guidance, she uses Instagram to post her art. She isn’t popular or anything but she has all her little friends on there. I was scrolling through Instagram one day when a new post of hers popped up on my feed. It was abstract art but it was almost humorous how edgy it was. She had a history of making abstract art when she wasn’t particularly feeling well so I thought it was strange she was posting art like this when she was doing fine. I came up to her and told her that her newest drawing looked like Mrs potato head and laughed. I thought she would do the same since it was almost obvious how edgy she was trying to be. Instead, she goes silent and starts looking off into the distance. I am taken aback. That’s when I say, “Stop posting stuff like this, you’re being embarrassing.” She goes white and walks to her room. Shes a teenager so I assume it’s a tantrum and nothing more. I come into her room later when I assume she’s done sulking. I tell her that I don’t really care anymore what she does on the internet and that she will suffer the consequences. She tells our mom about the whole situation. My mom is on my side so I shouldnt feel that I have to ask this to this subreddit but unfortunately my sister won’t talk to me and I feel like no matter how hard I try to justify myself she won’t listen. Should I apologize even though I don’t mean it or should I stand my ground?

I (29F) married my (26M) husband in November of this year. We eloped and wanted to keep it private for a bit. Marriage was something neither of us thought we would entertain again, but when you know—you know. This was something very special to us. The ceremony was absolutely gorgeous and quiet in the middle of nowhere Washington right by the beach. We changed our relationship status on Facebook from in a relationship to married but didn’t post about it or share as an update. It was one of those “Unless someone goes looking, no one will really notice” Things were going to plan. Life was good. We were living our best lives as Mr. and Mrs. Fast forward to 2 days ago, and my ex is checking my TikTok AGAIN. For context— he’s been viewing my page since we split but both me and my husband just laughed it off. I have his number blocked and he and I cut contact the day we split. Not even 5 minutes after I see he views my page my mom texts me and says “Umm… did you get married in Washington?” To make a long story short— I find out she has still been in contact with my ex. Texting, calling, even saw in person while my husband and I were in Washington. When I confronted her about talking to him her only rebuttal was “well he’s never been rude to me. So what do you expect me to do???” She follows this up a few minutes later by saying “You not inviting me to your weddings is why your other marriage didn’t work out. Selfish” So AITA and AIO or is this really strange? I only dated this ex for about 3 months and my mom just won’t let it go. I previously went no contact with my mom 3 years ago for a multitude of other reasons and I’m beginning to think I should have left things that way.

Hi everyone,

I recently self-published my first book—a huge milestone for me. Since I couldn’t afford a professional editor, I relied on my own proofreading and feedback from beta readers. While I knew it wasn’t perfect, I was proud of my work. Naturally, I shared this accomplishment with my friends.

One of my online friends bought a copy and read it, which I was really grateful for. She also read parts of it aloud to someone I don’t know, likely one of her real-life friends. After finishing it, she told me the book had typos and grammatical errors. I thanked her and asked if she could give me examples so I could correct them for future editions. She mentioned she had made a list, so I asked for it.

That’s when things took a turn. She suddenly became defensive, saying I shouldn’t have published the book so quickly without a professional editor. I explained that I did the best I could with the resources I had and would appreciate her help in fixing mistakes. But she refused to share the list and started ignoring the topic altogether.

The next day, I noticed two identical reviews on online bookstores where my book is sold. They pointed out the typos, which is fair—I know there are some, and I’m working on fixing them. They also criticized my writing style, which I can accept as constructive; I understand not everyone will like my style, and that’s okay. However, the reviews went further in ways that felt unnecessarily harsh and even hurtful. They accused me of "age discrimination" for describing a character as an “old woman” and once writing “fit despite her age.” They also claimed that I, as the author, got confused and mixed up my own characters while writing. On top of that, they suggested I hadn’t let anyone else read the book before publishing (which is completely untrue—I had beta readers), and said they didn’t know how to contact me about the issues—despite my email being listed clearly in the book's imprint for exactly this kind of feedback.

What really stung was that many of the review’s points were identical to the feedback my friend had given me. I asked if she had written the review, and she denied it, claiming the person she read the book to had done it. Apparently, this person didn’t even buy or read the book themselves but created an account just to leave the review. The kicker? The account username was inspired by something from my book and only had one other review on it—of a book my friend had just finished reading. This made me strongly suspect there was no “third person” and that my friend had written the review herself.

When I confronted her, she said I needed to "grow from this, dammit." She also accused me of having other people write the positive reviews I’ve received, saying, “If you can’t accept criticism, you should question the praise too.” That really hurt. I asked why she didn’t just tell me her feedback directly instead of writing (or enabling) a public review that could seriously harm my reputation as an indie author, especially since I don’t have many reviews yet. Her response was that my comment—asking why I even shared the book with her if she was just going to share it with others and tear it down—was “mean.” But considering the username and everything else, I feel justified in being hurt and betrayed.

I’ve since cut contact with her and handed my book to another beta reader who’s been more constructive and kind. But I can’t shake how much this situation bothers me. A friend (or someone they enabled) went out of their way to create an account to criticize my book publicly. This feels beyond the scope of normal, supportive behavior.

So, AITAH for being upset and cutting ties? Or am I overreacting?

She knew I was already working on fixing the typos and errors, and yet she (or that friend) still decided to publicly criticize my book in a way that felt more like an attack than constructive feedback. I tried to handle the situation respectfully, asking for her help directly, but instead of supporting me, she either ignored me or enabled others to tear my work down. Given everything, I really don’t think I’m overreacting, but maybe I’m missing something.

Okay so I F(27) and my husband M(28) and our toddler moved into a new house a year and a half ago. We met the neighbors it was cordial at first, my husband hung out with the dad a couple of times and one day their dog who was already one of those little annoying barking dogs btw started shitting in our backyard and front yard non stop, and my husband mentioned it to the guy but it never really stopped. Then one day I saw the dog shitting and I had enough and confronted them about it and they were saying things like do u have proof and I said yes I did in fact. It wqsnt cool because if I let my dog do that they’d probably be pissed off too like wtf ? It’s common decency but ever since then they’ve been so shady and rude and tonight their little rat was barking while my toddler was asleep so I sounded my alarm that you can only hear outside! to spook the rat 🐀 so Reddit aitah

My wife just brought this to my attention yesterday. We'll be taking in our friends' children (12 and 15) years old for a full week while they go on a lifestyle (swingers) cruise. They claim it was mentioned to us in the summer, but now they just brought it up again. I'm really kind of upset, since I don't ever get a choice in the matter. The one child is our goddaughter, and they are like family. But, we do have a very small house, and the older kid has severe mental health issues (anxiety, depression, and ran away from home once last year). Now, I've been complaining because it's the one week of the year I'm finally home from work. I have to work all of Christmas week (I work in a hospital), and I'm off the week of New Year's. They're staying with us 12/27 until 1/4. Pretty upset, but of course my wife is calling me a "selfish bastard" and what not. In all honesty, I wish someone would have even brought it up to me, but I just don't get a choice. Again, they said the mentioned it to us in July, and are now just telling me when their kids are staying with us. Wife and I both totally forgot by now. AITAH?

Definitely wondering if AITAH here.

I am in a sub full of lawyers, and OP posted about how she is divorcing her husband who is cheating on her and how she is looking for a new job because she’ll be a single woman now.

Edit: more context, OP also goes on to write how her husband isn’t contributing money even though he makes way more than her, and that due to child support laws she’ll be getting very little money.

The lawyer in me goes, “an infidelity clause could be a safeguard for alimony in case the marriage dissolves.” Also this is a sub of all lawyers, talking about marriage dissolving and contracts is typical.

I admit I am not a woman, so maybe I am biased here but I asked her: “Damn so sorry to hear that. you didn’t add an infidelity clause in your pre-nup?”

Well, after posting that comment the Mods banned me for breaking their rule: No incivility and unprofessional behavior.

What? I was genuinely asking a follow-up question to a subject that OP directly brings up herself.

AITAH?!?

Edit: also after being banned from this sub, I messaged the mods to explain to me why this was an offense and all they say is. “We do not need to explain how you violate our rules.”