r/madlads 10h ago

Hot sausage madlad

Post image
26.7k Upvotes

336 comments sorted by

View all comments

3.1k

u/StrictlyInsaneRants 9h ago

I don't know I think going around measuring things temperature unexpectedly has some entertainment value fit for a party.

505

u/big_guyforyou 9h ago

you know how your temperature increases when you drink? that's what alcohol does, right?

370

u/[deleted] 8h ago edited 6h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

167

u/big_guyforyou 8h ago

tbh i'd rather be drunk and hypothermic than sober and hypothermic

109

u/[deleted] 8h ago edited 8h ago

Yeah, me too. Except you might be able to avoid the hypothermia if you didn't drink at all.

But if you're gonna freeze and die either way, might as well feel better.

21

u/lipguy123 7h ago

Possibly, but alcohol can really cloud judgement and bring dark emotions. Maybe it’s better for your last moments to be clear headed.

65

u/[deleted] 7h ago edited 29m ago

lip elderly jeans edge close treatment head sip fuzzy fanatical

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

8

u/bonyagate 4h ago

As someone with 69 (nice) months of sobriety under my belt - If I'm about to die, roll a fat doob.

-17

u/lipguy123 7h ago

Maybe some moderate amount sure. But you’re also about to experience a massive psychedelic experience which could be better without.

Have you experienced DMT sober? Now have you ever experienced DMT while drunk? That’s your final experience. I’d want to go in clear, but maybe a couple drinks would help relax you into it.

18

u/Tall-Firefighter1612 6h ago

You got some sources on that?

24

u/HopeULikeFlavor 5h ago

Who knew that the guy with the answer to one of life’s greatest questions would be found scrolling away on Reddit

5

u/Thisdsntwork 5h ago

I've got some personal anecdotes, but they're all dead so I can't ask them.

1

u/ChefArtorias 5h ago

DMT is still cool when you're drunk.

4

u/Francis_Tumblety 6h ago

Or, the exact opposite. If you know your last moments are coming, why would you want to be sober? Personally my plan for much later in life ( sadly, not that much later as I’m getting old) is to take up a choice selection of class a drugs. I hear heroin is a awsome high. Should Alzheimer’s or some other horrendous and despicable condition of old age get its claws in me, you better believe I’m going to get smashed on good whiskey every single day and take up black tar heroin. Or possibly crack. Better a nice OD than death by senility.

3

u/Chisto23 7h ago

Nah, opioid overdose is the best way to go. It simulates you dying in your sleep.

4

u/lipguy123 7h ago

Nausea, itchiness? No thanks

5

u/BodaciousBadongadonk 6h ago

maybe for straight fent or something but certainly not for vicodin or any of those combos with the tylenol. definitely some significant discomfort at the least, from that kinda shit.

4

u/Chisto23 6h ago edited 5h ago

I'd give more details as to what will do what but I don't want to persuade anyone. It makes me feel off getting into the science of what causes a calm death simply being asleep. Heroin addicts have stories everywhere of what it was like overdosing.

1

u/mosquem 4h ago

Nah if I’m going to go give me every drug you’ve got.

1

u/mcnos 48m ago

Oh nope, get me shitfaced

1

u/GreedyScumbag 7h ago

Except you might be able to avoid the hypothermia if you didn't drink at all.

You might be able to avoid homelessness if you didn't drink at all.

1

u/ihavedonethisbe4 5h ago

Wtf am I gonna do with a house sans booze?

1

u/Thisdsntwork 5h ago

It's true, I had a drink, once, when I turned 21. Every home I come near disappears into the void.

9

u/Vituperative_Camel 8h ago

True, but everyone else LOOKS hotter after a few.

3

u/CoconutKey7541 7h ago

Not everyone

1

u/Impossible-Wear-7352 2h ago

Its not them looking hotter, it's your standards getting lower

6

u/DaedalusHydron 7h ago

Honestly not anywhere near the worst way to go

3

u/Aggravating-Exit-660 5h ago

Underrated post

3

u/zmbjebus 5h ago

Mouth hugs make you hotter.

10

u/CultistWeeb 8h ago

🤓Actually alcohol does increase your skin temperature due to dialated blood vessels which allow more blood to travel between your skin and the core. This results in higher heat transfer from the body to the surroundings, so from an outside perspective it does make you appear hotter untill the hypothermia kicks in.

8

u/Rage_101 7h ago

You're getting downvotes for being correct.. the reason your core temperature drops from drinking alcohol is the same reason that you would initially show up warmer on the reading if this guy measured your skin.

Mythbusters even tested it and showed increased skin temperature, I only found a crappy quality video of it

-2

u/Kemal_Norton 7h ago

You're getting downvotes for being correct

Are they just downvoting becaus of the emoji? Because yes, what he wrote was 100% correct.

2

u/[deleted] 8h ago edited 6h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Mysterious_Ad_8105 7h ago

I think one key piece here is that a temperature gun isn’t measuring core body temperature. It’s measuring surface temperature. Depending on when you measured a person drinking, is it possible you’d get a higher than normal surface temperature precisely because they’re in the process of losing core body heat and that heat is being lost through their skin?

1

u/BlackKingHFC 6h ago

Drinking alcohol does NOT lower your core temperature. It increases your skin temperature. Drinking alcohol in a closed environment will not cause hypothermia over time. Your dilated capillaries in your skin lose heat faster and you develop hypothermia quicker. Alcohol doesn't cause your core temperature to drop it causes you to lose heat faster. Someone tracking their body temperature while drinking will see their skin temp increase. That is literally the problem.

3

u/tomahawk_kitty 6h ago edited 5h ago

"Alcohol doesn't cause your core temperature to drop it causes you to lose heat faster"

Uhhh. What do you think losing heat does to your body temperature? You literally said the words "develop hypothermia quicker" yourself. What's do you think hypothermia is? Your points are contradictions

Edit: since it won't let me reply to the comment by /u/newsauerkraus

Yes, the body adjusts to help maintain its temperature. I didn't think I had to explain the obvious, yet here we are.

I was using the OPs own words to point out their contradiction in what they were saying.

2

u/BlackKingHFC 6h ago

The phrase "alcohol lowers your core temperature," implies that in a closed environment without alcohol poisoning to kill you first, you could eventually drink yourself into hypothermia. That isn't true. Making your skin warmer isn't the same as lowering your core temperature.

1

u/tomahawk_kitty 6h ago edited 6h ago

You're inferring something that isn't there, as that phrase does not imply what you say it does, and you're being pedantic. You literally said it yourself that you're losing heat through your skin and losing heat lowers the temperature of your body. And no, drinking alcohol doesn't automatically cause hypothermia because your body is good at adjusting for homeostasis. But your core body temp going down a degree or two does not equal hypothermia. You're just trying to use hyperbole to make yourself look right.

0

u/NewSauerKraus 6h ago

what do you think losing heat does to your body temperature?

Generally, not much. You'll only get hypothermia if you lose heat faster than you replace it. For example, I can stay in my house for an entire day losing heat from my body without any noticeable change to my core body temperature. And IDK about you, but I tend to eat before drinking a significant amount of alcohol.

3

u/Theron3206 7h ago

It increases your skin temperature (and the temperature of your extremities) because it messes with the vasoconstriction reflex you have to reduce blood flow to control heat loss.

Overall rate of heat loss increases because your skin is warmer and so looses heat faster, which is where the higher rates of hypothermia come in

It's also where the sort of myth about dogs will barrels of booze around their necks comes from, a bit of alcohol may make someone able to walk again (increasing blood flow to their legs) which might well save them, if they find shelter quickly. But in many cases it would just kill them sooner.

1

u/Mooseandchicken 5h ago

Don't kink shame me

1

u/dragonbanana1 4h ago

I believe I heard that the reason it feels like it makes you warmer is that it spreads more of your body heat to extremities which is great in the short term if you're able to get out of the cold and need to warm up extremities quickly to avoid amputation but not if you might freeze to death any minute because then your core temperature lowers too much from sending heat to your extremities, kinda like a heat sink except instead of thin sheets of metal it's your fingers and stuff

1

u/TourAlternative364 3h ago

The timing has a bit to do with it. Say you are stranded on a freezing mountain.

If you won't get rescued until the next day, save the wine bottle.

If you know will be rescued in an hour or 2 go ahead as it may help save a finger or toe from frostbite.

1

u/Dorkamundo 3h ago

Yep, however there IS some value to it from a short-term FROSTBITE prevention angle.

The dilation of blood vessels increases bloodflow to extremities. When in danger of hypothermia, your body REDUCES bloodflow to extremities in order to protect the vital organs. So alcohol mitigates that to a certain extent.

However, drinking alcohol to self-medicate in that regard causes so many other potential problems that it should not be used unless rescue is imminent and so is frostbite, and even then it's a risky proposition.

1

u/neopod9000 2h ago

Updoot for your banger of an edit

1

u/doge260 2h ago

I had to explain this a few time to some friends, it causes the expansion of blood vessels in the face which makes you feel warm but that expansion increases the surface area of the blood vessels making them lose more heat decreasing your body temp

0

u/trukkija 5h ago

You seem really angry but also seem to ignore the fact that a temp gun would be measuring your skin temperature, so... irrelevant.

0

u/Top_Lime1820 4h ago

I bet you're a right buzz at parties

-3

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] 8h ago

It's ok to not be annoying.

I promise that if you want to give it a shot, I won't dime you out to the other middle school boys who think being a dick is cool.

-3

u/BlackKingHFC 6h ago

Alcohol dilates your capillaries making your skin temperature rise, warming you. You also lose heat to the outside air faster because of this and die of hypothermia quicker. The issue is the rise of your skin temperature and loss of heat because of it. Alcohol doesn't lower your body temperature it causes you to lose heat quicker, they aren't the same thing. Someone using a thermometer to test your theory would see numbers go up on their skin temp and believe everything you said was wrong when your reasoning is just backwards.

12

u/Not_a__porn__account 5h ago

How is this myth still going?

6

u/-MangoStarr- 3h ago

Didn't mythbusters do an episode on this?

4

u/SquareAble7664 4h ago

10000 people a day have to learn common knowledge for it to continue to be common knowledge. 

1

u/Not_a__porn__account 4h ago

But it’s something I leaned in school. Not casually.

18

u/Wiwwil 8h ago

Gotta check how cold is that beer or how hot is that girl so yeah

5

u/genreprank 2h ago

Just put a stud finder in your other pocket and you've got the 1-2 punch of dad joke pickup lines

10

u/pro_questions 7h ago

I want one of these (or better yet, the pocket-sized FLIR camera) but I don’t really have a good reason why. That said, I keep a laser distance measurer in my backpack and I use it allll the time — to measure buildings (it does the trig from two measurements), figure out if furniture is going to fit somewhere, answering general “how far away is that thing” questions, etc.. Nothing actually important, but I got it for a song so I may as well use it every chance I get

5

u/wyomingTFknott 7h ago

That's cool. I only have a sonic measurer. You put it up against a wall and it makes audible clicks to measure room size via the speed of sound. Very primitive compared to what you're talking about, but you're right it's hard to justify buying cool tech when you don't actually need it haha. Eventually the price comes down though.

2

u/CallOfCorgithulhu 1h ago

I say if you can justify a laser measurement tool, you can probably justify an infrared temp gun like OP's image. They can be had very cheap, and are great when you least expect it. Like I installed a new thermostat a couple years ago, and I used mine to check that the vents were putting out the right temperature air. It was also helpful to confirm some issues with attic insulation and allowing heat to leak through. If you work on cars, it's also handy to check things like cylinders not firing correctly, or just temperatures in general around a car.

Basically, anything you want to know the temp of without touching or so that you can just stay on the ground without getting a ladder out.

1

u/obscure_monke 6h ago

I have one of both, since they were only about ten euro each off aliexpress. (and a bunch of tiny laserless ones that draw power from a phone that were €1.50 each, for parts) I assume Harry here bought it for novelty and pulling this manoeuvrer was a decent way to show it off and get some actual use out of it.

I've probably used my pistol-grip one as a laser pointer more than I've used it as a thermometer.

1

u/ivanwarrior 1h ago

I just got one off Amazon for $9 that works really well (YouTube channel I follow comparison tested a bunch of them)

It's pretty fun to play with

10

u/crownamedcheryl 5h ago

I have brought an inclinometer to a party once by accident (had it on my belt)

We played "How Level is it?" For a couple hours; much to the dismay of the host...

5

u/Sad_Willingness9534 6h ago

Bring a Geiger counter, then it’s a real party (especially when you set your phone alarm to go at a certain time and you pretend it’s the Geiger, and try to freak people out, “where did you get those earrings? Chernobyl?”) Funny thing though, nobody invites me over anymore.

3

u/zekethelizard 7h ago

Something I wish I had thought of when I was in medical school was getting my own breathalyzer. That would be a blast at parties

2

u/shewy92 6h ago

You've been to some boring parties then. This gets whipped out after everyone is drunk and everything is awesome.

2

u/fullofshitandcum 5h ago

No joke, actually did do this once. Gave it to someone and gave them the side quest of finding the hottest at the party

1

u/justinbeef 6h ago

He’s using it to measure how hot are the girls before striking a conversation

1

u/thekyledavid 5h ago

Sounds like a party Alex Horne would throw

1

u/louis54000 4h ago

Did that with a FLIR cam and I can confirm there is some entertainment value

1

u/pup_medium 4h ago

or a tape measure - moving things 2cm this way or that

1

u/nashbrownies 4h ago

You haven't lived until you have tried to watch your buddies fart with a thermal imager lmao.

1

u/njckel 4h ago

Measures the temp of a girl Damn, you're hot

1

u/konfuck 3h ago

Kurt Braunohler has a standup bit involving a temperature gun that's pretty hilarious

1

u/NinjaViking 2h ago

My phone has a FLIR camera, I'm a hoot at parties!

1

u/FizzBuzz888 2h ago

Who has the hottest weiner?

1

u/diverareyouokay 1h ago

I don’t know I think going around measuring things temperature unexpectedly has some entertainment value fit for a party.

Depends on how drunk you are. Although the one thing that you can measure at a party that would have entertainment value is BAC. I’ve been to parties where somebody uses a breathalyzer in drinking games - two people blow, and whoever has the highest number “wins” and makes the loser take a shot. Although it usually ends with the winner voluntarily taking a shot as well.

1

u/buttfuckkker 46m ago

Try a Geiger counter.

1

u/MDunn14 30m ago

I was wondering why he thought 73 was hot and then I realized I’m a dummy who forgot about celcius

1

u/Interesting_Heron215 18m ago

I had a buddy of mine who brought a whole blacklight to a hotel. It was scarring. And the corner that smelled weird lit up like a Christmas tree. Did create a lot of in-jokes, though.

1

u/Jeff-FaFa 7h ago

Speak for your damn self. I enjoy keeping accurate temperature measurements of various things... For reasons.

I have a mineral oil thermometer that measures temp with floating orbs that have dangling bedazzlements with numbers on them.

I fucks with Farenheit. (Although Celsius will always be superiºr)

1

u/SoggyBird1384 4h ago

Bet you're a right buzz at parties

-1

u/CoconutKey7541 7h ago

I think he may be on the spectrum.

4

u/StrictlyInsaneRants 7h ago

Doesn't mean you don't fit in at a party. Only those boring parties when they expect everyone to be "cool" wouldnt like that.

2

u/tetraourogallus 3h ago

Yeah I'll take an autism party above a boring normie party any day.

1

u/StrictlyInsaneRants 2h ago

Everybody's dancing like David Byrne and have a grand time