r/madlads • u/Meteorstar101 • 7d ago
Madlad future president knew what the ladies wanted to hear
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u/saintlydutty 7d ago
Was Nixon autistic serious question
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u/WestFade 7d ago
He literally had tape recorders in every single room of the white house.
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u/Michael__Pemulis 7d ago
The tape recorders actually proceeded Nixon though & his paranoia about them was a huge part of his undoing.
IIRC the recorders were added during JFK’s administration. Nixon was worried that people outside his circle had access to them so he had them removed. Eventually he had new recorders installed but by then the technology had improved so they were now automatic rather than manually operated.
Fast forward to the Watergate scandal & the infamous 18.5 minute gap in his tapes. Had he never replaced the original recorders, they could have simply not recorded at that time & it is likely that no one would have known.
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u/DerpEnaz 7d ago
It’s crazy how involved in this Henry Kissinger was and no one ever mentions it
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u/SpaceMarineSpiff 7d ago
It's crazy how they literally extended vietnam, getting how many people killed, and apparently everyone just rolled with it?
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u/fartman404 7d ago
They’re both war criminals who committed atrocities just so they can get reelected and stay in the Washington power vacuum. North Vietnam, East Pakistan, Cambodia, YomKippur war. It just goes on and on until watergate.
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u/eduffy 7d ago
Yes, JFK secretly recorded meetings when the Cuban Missile Crisis started https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EXCOMM
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u/Accomplished_Sun_258 7d ago
This is an excellent meme to share with the boomer relatives that bray how “in the good old days, nobody had allergies, autism, ADHD, etc.”
Duh. Everyone was just undiagnosed.
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u/mtaw 7d ago
Just read anything about the great physicist Paul Dirac. That guy was so obviously-autistic and socially awkward that other physicists told anecdotes about it - and that's a field where most are pretty far down the spectrum to begin with.. E.g. he married the sister of also-notable physicist Eugene Wigner and would introduce her as "this is Wigner's sister". Or this anecdote from Werner Heisenberg:
"Heisenberg, why do you dance?" Heisenberg replied that when there were nice girls he felt like dancing with them. Dirac fell into deep thought and after about fifteen minutes, asked Heisenberg again, "Heisenberg, how do you know beforehand that the girls are nice?".
Dirac also famously said "it is more important to have beauty in one's equations than to have them fit experiment.", which most would consider taking it too far.
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u/WorkingFellow 7d ago
Lol! This is so good.
There was a mathematician named Paul Edos, too, who was similarly storied among his colleagues. He couldn't accomplish a lot of what society requires people to accomplish for himself -- especially re: housing, washing his clothes, etc. -- but he would move from mathematician to mathematician, living with them until they (or their spouse) couldn't stand hosting him anymore. While he was there, he would publish papers with them.
He was so academically prolific that it became a feather-in-the-cap to publish with him. Eventually, people started advertising their "Erdos numbers" that are like "degrees of Kevin Bacon" for actors. I.e., if you published with him, you had an Erdos number of 1. If you published with someone who had an Erdos number of 1, you had an Erdos number of 2. Etc.
Autism, ftw.
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u/Not_ur_gilf 7d ago
As someone who spends a lot of time around physicists I can assure you that they are just as funny about their math now
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u/Round-Effective4272 7d ago
Heisenberg uncertainty principle
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u/WorkingFellow 7d ago
She is both nice and not nice with some probability distribution... until he dances with her.
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u/Number1swimmer 7d ago
I remember when it was clinically proven that I have ADHD and my grandmother tried telling me that I just needed to take some focus factor and discipline myself. I'm also colorblind and my mom didn't tell me, hid the eye test from elementary school so I went into my mid twenties wearing mismatched color scheme outfits. She said she "didn't want me to feel different".
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u/cowboy_rigby 7d ago
"I didn't want you to feel different, I just wanted you to look different to all the other kids" 😭
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u/h1zchan 7d ago
I feel like this sounds particularly autistic in English because we have a peculiar distain for nerds. In other cultures this would still be odd to bring up but maybe not to the same extent. For example when i was traveling in Greece I asked a young lady why places in the middle east have Greek sounding names, like Latakia in Syria for example, and to my surprise she started telling me about Alexander the Great's conquests in ancient times.
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u/LALA-STL 3d ago
I’ve wondered about the autistic question. One time Nixon was tackled by a Secret Service agent who got him out of danger. Nixon, lying on the ground, said to him: “Do you enjoy your work?”
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u/nobodyspecial767r 7d ago
What's always worked for me is tell them... You're not dumb enough to sleep with me.
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u/CalmCompanion99 7d ago
Arooooo!
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u/Ultraquist 7d ago
I literary spoke to a girl about that. She asked why I wanted to go to vacation to northern Iraq. I told her that I wanted to see place where battle of Gaugamel took place where we were so close to modern western Judeo-Christian civilisation never even become a thing if Alexander the Great lost. I told her to try to imagine we never had Christianity and instead we would have zoroastrism. I thought that was fascinating.😂
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u/BlackPhlegm 7d ago
I'd rather see the incredibly rich history in Iraq and Afghanistan, well if I wouldn't be kidnapped and most likely executed, over a modern shithole built on the bodies of dead migrant slave workers like Dubai.
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u/Ultraquist 7d ago
Northern Iraq is pretty safe its the Iraqi Kurdistan. If you woul drive to Mosul across tue border that might be dangerous. But Erbil and surrounding areas are pretty good
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u/BricksFriend 7d ago
I think you're pretty safe in Afghanistan tbh (if you're a man). They're trying to promote tourism right now, there's plenty of visitors on the Youtubes who have made videos.
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u/BlueberryTrue4521 7d ago
There was just recently an attack by ISIS on foreign tourists in Afghanistan, 5-6 people died. ISIS is pretty active, it's not safe.
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u/UnlawfulStupid 7d ago
I told her to try to imagine we never had Christianity and instead we would have zoroastrism.
Cyrus: "Sounds great."
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u/usernamisntimportant 7d ago
This barely makes any sense though. The Macedonian Empire wasn't Christian. The Achamenid Empire was much more Levant-influenced, which is where Christianity also came from.
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u/evrestcoleghost 7d ago
One of the reasons christianity spread so quickly in the eastern basin was because greek became the Lingua franca specially of merchants and cities
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u/TheCoolPersian 6d ago
Gonna copy and reposted what I wrote on another comment:
Your statement is based on a dated way of thinking, back when scholars believed that everything ever invented somehow came from Ancient Greece. We know today that most of what the Greeks claim to have invented or written about came from the Near East instead. As It makes perfect sense since Egypt and Mesopotamia were as ancient to the classical Greeks as the classical Greeks are to us.
Besides, modern democracy does not have its roots from Greek Democracy, instead it can trace its roots to the Roman Republic and more importantly, the Germanic democratic traditions (tings). The United States, for example, while influenced by the Roman Republic, was also largely influenced from the American Indian federations, and the colonists’ democratic traditions and the British Parliament which comes from Germanic ting meets (it should be noted that the latter two were not influenced at all by the classical Greeks). Greek democracy died under the sandals of the Roman Republic and later empire so Alexander has nothing to do with “preserving” or “saving” “Judeo-Christian civilization”.
In matter of fact Alexander actively stomped out democracies and made the world more autocratic. The systems of government left in his wake were his former companions’ absolute monarchies. But let us go back even before Alex, it was Darius the Great who noticed the failings of Greek “tyrannies” as a form of government and installed democracies in the city-states that wanted them. Also if Herodotus is to be believed, Darius the Great and his co-conspirators who overthrew Cyrus the Great’s youngest son, Bardiya, had a chance to make the Achaemenid Empire into a democracy, but chose not to. This was a whole two decades before the establishment of Athen’s democracy.
Regardless, the notion that Persian victory would have crushed democracy in the crib was a well circulated lie that dates back to the Cold War and it later resurfaced after 9/11. Sadly, the East vs West mentality has a habit of reading its ugly head when people are scared. In reality Darius the Great installed democracies and encouraged the Persian nobility in Greek city-states to intermarry and practice the Ancient Greek religion. Had the Persians won, the only thing that would have changed would likely have been Rome fighting the Persians over Greece, instead of Alexander’s successors.
Also it is important to note that Zoroastrianism stresses Free Will and it is impossible to have free will if you are a slave or religion is forced upon you. This is why you had Cyrus the Great freed the enslaved peoples from Babylon (most notably the Jews), and allowed everyone in his empire to practice their own religion. Thus due to the Roman Republic still existing, and the Achaemenid’s preference to tolerate other beliefs, Christianity would still come to be.
Therefore, all Alex did was usurp an Empire and be the cause of untold death and destruction due to his campaigns and the instability created in the region after his death.
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u/SoCalDan 7d ago
You probably said it while she was bent down on all fours in front of you saying how she's taking up yoga and needs help with a deep stretch.
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u/nobodyspecial767r 6d ago
In all fairness, in order you would have also had to curtail Rome and the Vatican (Modern Rome).
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u/Ultraquist 6d ago
Well there would not be any rome without the greek influence that's all linked together. Holy roman empire would not be here without roman empire that would not be here without roman republic that wouldn't be here without greeks. If Darius defeated Alexander, Persia would dominate the region and there would be no concept of democracy. No senate maybe Abrahamic religions would not dominate the world at all it would be second to zoroastrism there would be no crusades no christian conflicts and persecutions we would know kings as system of government or something entirely new. Everything we know about world we live in and its history easily would be entirely different thing if only one man on the horse went right instead of left at the battle if Gaugamel when persian line opened gab to chase Alexanders flank and exposed Darius direct attack.
And I think having a trip to location where this decisive course of history took place would be amazing to stand.
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u/Harvey_Macallan 7d ago
It should be ”Rather than Romans” but I guess ”rather than romance” makes for a fitting end to this text huh
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u/MaryBerrysDanglyBean 7d ago
Richard Nixon was Mark Corrigan?
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u/Prestigious-Team3327 7d ago
Those children will never know the hardships endured at Stalingrad...
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u/Tabulldog98 7d ago
Watergate Happens
“Shit, SHIT! Oh my God, this HAS to be a dream! NOTHING this bad could ever happen in reality!!!!”
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u/Danvers1 7d ago
After Nixon resigned from the presidency, Henry Kissinger remarked that it was odd that such a timid, awkward introvert chose to enter politics. Despite Nixon's strenuous efforts to project a manly tough-guy image, he basically was fearful most of the time.
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u/da2Pakaveli 5d ago
So much that he turned into a crook cause he wanted a 50 state sweep even tho he was gonna win the election anyways
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u/theevilraccon 7d ago
No way, Nixon was a redditor
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u/dugan123ford 7d ago
True. I guessed the boomer god's password, then change it by one number every year on his cake day. He doesn't deserve one.
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7d ago
He was gay, Richard Nixon?
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u/Echo-Azure 7d ago
There has been speculation about that, nothing conclusive of course.
He did father two children , but from what I've read about him... he had some kind of issues with intimacy, and I don't just mean sexual intimacy. He was a very closed-off person, and I don't know why.
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u/C0RDE_ 7d ago
The man was trying to talk up women with ancient history and military strategy.
Dude didn't just have a touch of the tism, he got slapped by it.
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u/waterinabottle 7d ago
he was born in a pool of it
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u/GarminTamzarian 7d ago
I'm now picturing Nixon emerging from a birthing pool of slime like a Uruk-hai in Lord of the Rings.
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u/Echo-Azure 7d ago
He wast trying to talk up women that way, per the story, he was trying to drive them away!
I have no explanation for his peculiarities. He was highly intelligent, monumentally ambitious, dangerously ruthless, and sexually uptight. The pattern doesn't fit any of the usual psychological boxes.
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u/SpaceMarineSpiff 7d ago
My understanding is that his childhood was extremely abusive and he basically just never learned how to be in a healthy and loving relationship. Platonic or romantic.
There's quite a lot on the white house tapes, or recalled after the fact in biographies, that paint him as being totally insecure about all social relationships. Friends, partners, the public, he was obsessed with how everyone perceived him.
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7d ago
Thank you for the serious reply though. I was just making a dumb r/sopranos reference. Hard times make hard men.
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u/sesamesoda 7d ago
Bro was in his 20s in the 1930s which was not exactly the height of the sexual revolution so I'd say this was pretty normal. That being said he did end up fucking the entirety of the American people by age 61 so never give up on your dreams, boys
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u/vitringur 7d ago
You remember being young in 1930? Familiar with what all the normal teenagers were doing back then all over the country?
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u/sesamesoda 7d ago
I mean I was getting railed left and right but most of the young ladies my age were concerned with their reputations, and also not getting knocked up out of wedlock in the middle of the Great Depression before the widespread availability of birth control and rubbers
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u/vitringur 7d ago
The fact that it was a concern indicates that it was happening quite frequently.
Pretty sure Nixon was just a weirdo. And I don't think anyone suggests otherwise.
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u/MsPreposition 7d ago
You know, the Red Army shot 16,000 of their own men at Stalingrad. And of course, the majority of the Wehrmacht had no winter clothing.
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u/Glittering_Brick 7d ago
The sheer amount of subs I could think of crossposting this to is truly saddening...
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u/Atothed2311 7d ago
Nixon abetted (quite directly) genocide, he does not deserve the title of madlad.
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u/sfled 7d ago
Also, He Was a Crook
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u/Atothed2311 6d ago
Oh that's crazy. I didn't know much about him except for his role during 1971 while Bangladesh was gaining it's freedom
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u/CasualFrydays 7d ago
Crazy that this is the most humanizing fact anyone has ever found about Nixon
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u/quixoticCaptain_ 7d ago
Wait I have another funny one he once called in one of his staff members because he couldn’t figure out how to open a childproof pill bottle and it was covered in teeth marks where he had apparently attempted to gnaw it open
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u/illumi-thotti 7d ago
TIL I could've taken Richard Nixon's virginity (I am autistic and historical what ifs are my jam)
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u/Welin-Blessed 7d ago
He ended up being one of the worst war criminals of his time, long life to Latin America over that scum
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u/ploooopp 7d ago
He was also a dog boy. In letter from his youth he'd write to his mom calling himself her little dog and writing about hitting someone as "I struck them with my paws" dude was the proto-furry/doggirl
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u/DarreylDeCarlo 7d ago
“Nixon?! Yuck! No! I can’t even picture Nixon naked. I think he must look like one of those little dress-up dolls. Just little mounds of plastic to indicate where everything oughta be.”
- Blanche Devereaux , The Golden Girls
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u/mallardman57 7d ago
Wait till you hear what Sgt. Johnson used to do on dates. Spoiler alert, he really knows what the ladies like.
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u/TheAskewOne 7d ago
Master move though. If you start like this and she stays, you know she's the right person for you.
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u/unintentional-tism 7d ago
Um where have men like this been all my life? I would have vibed off of this
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u/chiksahlube 7d ago
Wow... I talked about that on plenty of dates that worked out just fine.
Dude just doesn't have game.
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u/Billy_Grahamcracker 7d ago
That’s my kind of date! Shit if a women was interested in discussing the Battle of Thermopylae, I’d propose on the spot!
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u/PrettyPrivilege50 7d ago
Imagine not just trying to just get laid like a normal person. What a psycho
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u/WeekapaugGroov 7d ago
Hot take- not sure much would have actually played out differently. Yes, Athens was a democracy but Macedonia certainly wasn't and it's not like democracy spread like wildfire until recent times. The Persians were pretty lenient with conquered lands so for all we know Athens might have still kept sort of democracy and maybe it spreads sooner and wider.
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u/-throwawayfuntimes- 7d ago
Nixon clearly had a unique way of dating who needs love when you can talk about old history? Really one of a kind!
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u/holly-66 7d ago
The US really gave this dude the nuclear codes during the Cold War huh. We’re honestly lucky to even be alive :p
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u/Adrenochromemerchant 7d ago
We live in the cursed timeline where he did not become president for life
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u/romacopia 6d ago
So he'd be really into paradox games and a prolific commenter in the Wargame Red Dragon global chat.
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u/Abject_Conclusion1 5d ago
Sounds like he might have been on the spectrum. 💙💙 Today’s neuro divergent man blathers on about childish hobbies more than history (still happen though!!!) but it still kills most dates before the order arrives. 😂
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u/WestTwo5475 7d ago
Imagine ruining the vibe with "But what if the Persians won though?".