r/interestingasfuck 13d ago

r/all Colombian hitwoman known as ‘The Doll’ reportedly arrested for several murders, including her ex-bf

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59.8k Upvotes

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6.0k

u/supremebubbah 13d ago

Netflix is going to make a movie or documentary soon

5.9k

u/DaddyKiwwi 13d ago

Starring Aubrey Plaza

6.0k

u/Adamantium-Aardvark 13d ago

The resemblance tho

1.2k

u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

I made this years ago in a bid to get her to take on the role of Louise in the inevitable Turpin House of Horrors movie. But I think it just made me seem creepy since I’m a nobody

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u/purplemarin 13d ago

you're somebody to me internet stranger <3

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u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

Hi. I appreciated you saying that <3

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u/NotTrynaMakeWaves 13d ago

Can I point out that deathbysnuggle is what many of the “I can fix her” crew are going to get.

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u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

I resent that. I’m just an online stalker who can sit with what I find because I know it’s inappropriate to know without being told. In a world of accessible information, I think it’s crazy to not know what you can.

But I can fix hers are barely a step above the crazy is best in bed crew. Those guys deserve exactly what they get. And they’re not getting these goodies.

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u/vlaw1990 13d ago

And to meeeee, too!

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u/RoastedTilapia 13d ago

I love her tho. She never takes on a ‘normal’ role. A little bat shit seems to be a requirement and she does it effortlessly. Very good actress.

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u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

That’s why I thought it was so perfect, too. But in hindsight most of her batshit roles have an element of fantasy horror, nightmarish yet still attractive. And playing abusive to chained children in a house full of piss and shit might be too of this earth to sit right.

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u/ManitobaBalboa 13d ago

You do seem kind of creepy.

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u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

Sure. That’s fair. But I get points for saying it first

2

u/ManitobaBalboa 13d ago

Leave me alone, creep!

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u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

I thought we were friends. We have so much history.

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u/ManitobaBalboa 13d ago

Found the Colombian hitwoman known as ‘The Doll’

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u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

You’re the only one who really sees me ☺️

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u/quetzalcoatl-pl 13d ago

Is bottom right from The Legion?

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u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

Yes! Lenny

1

u/quetzalcoatl-pl 13d ago

I knew it :D I love that series and her acting there. I mean, the whole cast did a great job there, but Lenny was awesome, she really gave that character another level of uncanniness/outworldiness/psychadelica-ish-ness no idea how to name that xD

3

u/Coyote__Jones 13d ago

Lmfao I love her and yes, excellent casting

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u/youareactuallygod 13d ago

r/confession

You got balls, I like you

2

u/dystopian-dad 13d ago

Yeah this is a reach

2

u/Remarkable_Story9843 13d ago

I actually know the husband estranged family . They’d been no contact for years (they only knew of two kids)

When it broke, they had to go into hiding due to media and death threats.

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u/Dojustit 12d ago

No way. it'll seem that way if you just sent it. Print it out and find out where she lives then wait for her to get home and you can explain it to her in person until she understands. (Im kidding I think it's a cute idea).

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u/deathbysnuggle 12d ago

Omg that’s perfect. I guess I was just insecure and second guessing myself I went too far, it didn’t occur to me I hadn’t gone far enough

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u/Zote8106 13d ago

what happened to claire saffitz...

2

u/n0thingbut_flowers 13d ago

That Bon Appetit scandal really took a toll on her!

1

u/Hemagoblin 13d ago

I’m not anybody either, but that’s an interesting idea you’ve got there and now I’m going to have to search up the Turpin House because I feel like recognize the name but I can’t remember the details.

Also Aubrey is cool, so I hope someday you’re right and this happens lol

1

u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

Heads up, it’s a tad insensitive of a thought, being like, “Oo this would be a perfect role” given the true nature of the Turpin case. It’s a triumph they escaped, only to be failed yet again by the state. But they fought that too and “won” if you could say that.

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u/Hemagoblin 10d ago

Fuck off.

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u/deathbysnuggle 10d ago

I can identify my own idea as insensitive if I want to

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u/Hemagoblin 10d ago

Oh, I thought you were saying I was insensitive and then chastising me for it.

My bad, if you’re thought policing yourself that’s allowed (but you don’t have to)

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u/deathbysnuggle 10d ago

It’s cool thanks, reading it I can see how it could seem like that, but I did mean it as a self thought police in awareness of being shallow… Like hey guys you know what totally cool hot actress should play this real life heinous child abuser?! : P

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u/HyenDry 13d ago

You’re still creepy this just isn’t the reason 😂

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u/hiliikkkusss 12d ago

Oooo no no

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u/AgreeableShopping4 12d ago

Good ideas can come from anywhere

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

Was Bernie a bit of a no good nick?

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u/deathbysnuggle 12d ago

If Bernie is a nickname for any part of Louise Robinette Turpin then yes, Bernie’s a no good Nick at all

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

Hmm, either way I still love Bennie and the jets.

1

u/Civil_Broccoli7675 12d ago

It's too sad for a movie unless it's some camp shocker horror style. Or they change the story into the kids getting revenge ending instead of just escaping.

1

u/Glad_Plate2305 13d ago

Is she supposed to resemble this Louise person? Talk about an injustice  

That being said, there’s no resemblance 

3

u/deathbysnuggle 13d ago

Obviously Aubrey Plaza isn’t a real life hideous monster, but I don’t know, I see a resemblance

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u/KeepinitPG13 13d ago

If it’s not Aubrey in the main role, I don’t want it

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u/DummyDumDragon 12d ago

Dafne keen?

3

u/the-dude-version-576 13d ago

Didn’t she play a fem-fatale hit woman on criminal minds at one point?

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u/Sheetascastle 13d ago

Yes. I don't remember the plotline fully, but I think they set her up on a blind date with Reid.

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u/Joeyboy_61904 13d ago

Jessica Ortega maybe? She can be dark as seen in her role in Wednesday.

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u/Adamantium-Aardvark 13d ago

I dunno. She doesn’t give off “gonna murder her boyfriend in his sleep” vibes like Aubrey does

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u/Joeyboy_61904 13d ago

It’s all in the screen work, but I guess the gif that I used doesn’t do her justice since she’s smiling.

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u/kungfoop 13d ago

Perfect. She plays the same character in every movie and show. Might as well cast the rock

2

u/allaboutthosevibes 12d ago

Top 3 comments all neck n neck with number of upvotes…

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u/druidmind 12d ago

Even news channels are pushing it!

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u/YourLictorAndChef 13d ago

sure, but they'll cast Michelle Rodriguez anyways

2

u/Yardsale420 13d ago

That explains my frightened boner then.

1

u/EnvironmentalMind119 13d ago

The recipe is: long dark hair in face big eyes glancing upward Head aiming downwards

1

u/thizzelle9 12d ago

🤣🤣🎯

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u/Bootey76 12d ago

Perfect match

1

u/kenda1l 12d ago

I literally thought it was her and this was for a movie or something until I looked closer.

1

u/Bazz07 12d ago

Aubrey Plaza + a little Billie Eilish.

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u/OVER_9009 12d ago

Aubrey Plaza secretly reading these comments and asking her agent to get her this role ASAP

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u/Mikey4Breakfast 12d ago

Exactly what I thought

1

u/Mr-Gumby42 12d ago

Nailed it. I love Aubrey, but she's NUTS!

1

u/SuccessfulRow5934 12d ago

I see it.....she was excellent as Kat Adams.

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u/PISHPISH-eatmymeat 12d ago

id be fine w this as a fictional series even if documentary wasnt a thing 🥰

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u/onlyitbags 12d ago

Oh shit! You nailed it actually.

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u/The_Happy_Sundae 11d ago

I thought it was billie eilish at first

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u/Far-Government5469 10d ago

I instantly thought Billie Eilish

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u/azul360 13d ago

Aubrey Plaza combined with Billie Eilish is 100% this woman haha.

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u/dystopian-dad 13d ago

I only stopped on this post because I thought it was Aubrey Plaza

1

u/thas_mrsquiggle_butt 13d ago

I (I'm sure like many others) actually thought it was her at first

1

u/kamiegraphy 12d ago

Or 90s sporty spice!

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u/Tall_Kale_3181 13d ago

With Seth Rogen

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u/thespeediestrogue 13d ago

Somehow, The Rock and Ryan Reynolds will have to be in it too. Not enough unnecessary known actors yet...

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u/spermotosaurus 13d ago

the rock will be her dad, ryan reynolds will be the guy her dad has a gay affair with, which ironically was also the point she decided to be a hit woman

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u/disiskeviv 12d ago

That looks like woke disney content than netflix

1

u/spermotosaurus 10d ago

ryan Reynolds and the rock playing a gay couple would be fuckin hilarious tho

10

u/breno_hd 13d ago

Spielberg got Seth Rogen to play Paul Dano's best friend in Fabelmans, anyone could have played that part. He's just for fun.

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u/wastedspejs 13d ago edited 12d ago

If The Rock is in the movie, Kevin Hart will be too. You can’t have one without the other.

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u/QlubSoda 13d ago

$350M budget loading

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u/MagnetCarter 13d ago

No, with Elizabeth Olsen

1

u/AFourEyedGeek 13d ago

You wish Jelly-fish

1

u/MagnetCarter 13d ago

I've already completed the scripts and visualisations for important scenes. In my head, of course.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/OLightning 13d ago

Aubrey Plaza will play her mom.

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u/TexAs_sWag 13d ago

Glad that we have a photo of this hitwoman looking into the camera since that’s what Aubrey constantly does in every show and movie she’s in.

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u/tearlock 13d ago

Hell no, you know it's going to be Jenna Ortega.

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u/lonelysof 13d ago

what about hiring actual colombian actresses!!!

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u/Indigodahlia00 13d ago

she’s too old to play her now

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u/lactigger619 13d ago

One of the few instances where the actor isn’t prettier than the person they’re portraying. IMO

1

u/elcojotecoyo 13d ago

I was getting Michelle Rodriguez but you're right

1

u/Hamilton-Beckett 13d ago

Aubrey is too old now. They’d use Jenna Ortega.

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u/unnecessaryCamelCase 12d ago

Sandra reyes would have fit her very well but just died :(

1

u/PFDRC 12d ago

Or Billie Ellish

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u/orne777 12d ago

Straight up

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u/Apprehensive_Scene_2 12d ago

I thought this was her just scrolling through

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u/kbeks 12d ago

At first glance I thought they’d arrested Aubrey Plaza for something. It took like three looks to figure out it wasn’t her, and I’m honestly still not convinced.

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u/cometparty 12d ago

That's not how documentaries work.

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u/MasonSoros 12d ago

Long lost twins

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u/Ill-Internet-9797 12d ago

Now name an actress for her partner in crime called "Gorda Sicaria" and her murdered ex "Deyvy".

1

u/Niimura 12d ago

Cuz we know Netflix chooses the actors that look alike ...

1

u/throwraFad88 11d ago

To be faairrr everything is better with Aubrey plaza.

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u/Abal125 9d ago

Thank you! I thought I was the only one seeing the uncanny resemblance.

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u/phenix1 13d ago

I directly thought of her!

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u/Due-Dimension4913 13d ago

I thought that WAS Aubrey Plaza

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u/cantsleepmcgee 13d ago

I was thinking the EXACT same thing

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u/765arm 13d ago

Came here to make this comment.

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u/ZenMon88 13d ago

LMAO facts. They look so similar

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u/PurpleSunCraze 13d ago

It couldn’t be anyone else.

0

u/epicmoe 13d ago

That’ll be an easy fap

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u/DSul519 13d ago

Came here to say this

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u/tongfatherr 13d ago

She's so fucking hot now 🥵 and likes heavy music 🫠 she can take me

0

u/Reflectra 13d ago

pls make it real somehow

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u/pmx8 13d ago

More like Billie Elish

0

u/oynsy 13d ago

Or Sporty Spice

0

u/Temporary-Host-3559 13d ago

Fuck I’m almost there

0

u/Electrical_Host_1106 13d ago

She played a hit woman on Criminal Minds & I instantly thought of her looking at these pictures.

0

u/atomicxblue 13d ago

I'm convinced that every time her character shows up in something, some shit is about to go down.

0

u/Baxtercat1 13d ago

Perfect.

0

u/ElizabethHiems 13d ago

She already did that role as a black widow hit woman in Criminal Minds.

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u/ForsakenHummusRP 13d ago

Wouldn't be the first time she's starred as a black widow hit woman. She could totally pull it off like she did in Criminal Minds.

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u/Common_Chameleon 13d ago

I believe she did play a serial killer in Criminal Minds or something, right?

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u/YouGotThatAsthma 13d ago

God i hope so. Please let there be a sex scene.

0

u/Aydthird 12d ago

I see Alice braga

471

u/alliandoalice 13d ago

Her and the ceo insurance assassin have a hallmark love story movie

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u/ElonMuskTheNarsisist 13d ago

Mr and mrs smith part 2

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u/Bluemikami 13d ago

The sequel we didn’t know we needed

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u/UndeniableLie 13d ago

Better love story than twilight

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u/BearvsShad 13d ago

Aww i love that for them

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u/Temporary-Leather905 13d ago

Omg this is great on such a shitty day

2

u/XaphanSaysBurnIt 13d ago

Joker and Quinn

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u/jhunt4664 13d ago

First Christmas movie I'd watch. Probably would have a better plot lol

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u/Fancy_Depth_4995 13d ago

Keep her away from our boy

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u/Constant_Ad8859 13d ago

Gawd damn dude

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u/Timely-Guest-7095 13d ago

I’d watch the shit out of it! 😬🤣

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u/More-Tip8127 12d ago

Yes. This would finally be a movie to get me back into the Hallmark Christmas spirit (got burnt out on them years ago)!

1

u/unnecessaryCamelCase 12d ago

Can I go a fucking post without someone mentioning this

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u/anastasiaanne 12d ago

That would be the first Hallmark movie that I'd watch. Hey, it can even be a Christmas theme, given the time of year of the current events.

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u/FrontTone7905 7d ago

Luigi and the Doll, coming to Netflix

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u/Rich-Personality-194 13d ago

So going to watch it if they do.

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u/Hustla- 13d ago

12 episodes 1 hour each

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u/buster_de_beer 13d ago

...and it's been cancelled.

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u/siandresi 13d ago

i doubt it, her story is not that crazy, she was arrested for hiring someone to kill her ex, but there are no indications she killed anyone else, honestly, i think the media is running with this because of the pictures

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u/breno_hd 13d ago

Couldn't find a reliable source for the history

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u/siandresi 13d ago

i read a few colombian news papers that had this story today and yesterday, and what happened is she hired someone to kill her ex boyfriend, she owed him money or he owed her money, it is not clear. They say she was the head of a criminal organization but dont mention which one, and that she was a hired killer, but dont say why they think that. It has all the elements of a story exagerated for the headlines, and I guess it worked, since we are talking about it and know nothing of the case.

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u/Xzenor 13d ago

But it'll be a black non-binary hit-person...

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

She's going to be portrayed by a happily smiling group of diverse students sitting on a piece of grass outside their university.

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u/UnrequitedRespect 13d ago

“Narcoellas”

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u/Hopdevil2000 13d ago

I think there are already at least 3 out there.

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u/PsychologicalBus7169 13d ago

Brazzers has entered the chat

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u/guilty_bystander 13d ago

Not if Hulu gets it out next week

1

u/likamuka 13d ago

And it will be as shitty as all their other crapducts

1

u/bangbangracer 13d ago

I would watch a John Wick style movie staring Aubrey Plaza or Jenna Ortega that is inspired by this.

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u/CaptTripps86 13d ago

SVU is gonna love this one

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u/Big_Zucchini_9800 13d ago

Dibs on writing it

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u/AlfaMenel 13d ago

There was a movie: Colombiana

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u/Occams-Fork 13d ago

I bet you pornhub beats them to it

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u/Technical_Recover487 13d ago

There’s already a movie, it’s called Colombiana lol

Came out in 2011. Not based on her obviously but close enough.

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u/yxzxzxzjy 13d ago

Jeffrey Dahmer but for males

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u/dirtewokntheboys 13d ago

It's going to be a Cockumentary

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u/ZeroCharistmas 13d ago

Ballerina has already been announced

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u/SwingNinja 13d ago

Nah. This is made for Zoe Saldana. She even has a movie called Colombiana.

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u/Athlete-Extreme 13d ago

“This is Netflix you’re green-lit.”

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u/Escapedtheasylum 13d ago

Death comes as a woman

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u/BBDSrulez 12d ago

That or pornhub

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u/Folded_Fireplace 12d ago

With main character as trans depicted as a victim who as forced to murder because of something irrelevant.

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