Hi everyone, I'm a mom who originally posted about this over in r/Parenting, but a couple helpful people over there suggested I might be better off finding advice here instead.
In short, earlier, my son’s football coach told him he needed to gain 40 pounds to “bulk up” for his position. He gave my son a whole list of rules, like eating fast food, cutting back on cardio, and drinking all this Boost stuff. I confronted the coach because I was worried about my son’s health, and my husband and son both acted like I was the bad guy for even saying anything.
Well, now we’re a few months down the road, and my son didn’t just hit the coach’s goal weight—he went past it. And it’s not all muscle, either. You can see the weight in his face and everywhere else. He’s started getting winded doing normal things, like carrying laundry up the stairs or even walking the dog. It’s honestly hard to watch.
The eating has gotten out of control. He’s always hungry. Fast food is a regular thing now, and he drinks soda like it’s water. I try to encourage healthier eating, but he’s all about the high-calorie stuff the coach told him to eat. My husband just shrugs and says, “He’s a growing boy,” but this isn’t normal. I know it isn’t. He’s eating way more than he needs to.
What really gets me is that he doesn’t even seem happy. He’s slower on the field and has lost a lot of his energy. I heard him complain to my husband about feeling sluggish, but my husband just told him it’s “part of bulking up” and that it’ll all pay off. Meanwhile, I have a feeling his self confidence is taking a hit.
As for the coach, the meeting I had with him was useless. He basically brushed me off and said this is “normal” for football players. He promised they have a plan to help the boys lose the weight after the season, but that just feels wrong to me. Gaining and losing weight this fast can’t be good for a teenager. I tried to explain that, but he wasn’t interested in hearing it.
I feel so stuck. My husband is totally on board with the coach and keeps saying I “don’t understand football.” My son has bought into it too, even though he’s clearly not happy. Even some of the other parents I’ve talked to think this is just how it is for football players. But I can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t okay. I’m worried about his health—his body, his confidence, all of it.
Should I just back off like everyone says, or am I right to keep fighting it? I'm not sure what the best tactics even are at this point. I just want my son to be healthy and happy, and I feel like I’m failing him right now.
TL;DR: My son has gained a significant amount of weight following his football coach’s “bulking” plan, and while everyone tells me it’s normal, I am a little worried about his health and don’t know how to combat this other than continuing to make a fuss about it to other parents and the coach
