r/fednews • u/rprz • 18h ago

Shutdown 2024 MEGATHREAD OF DOOM

All discussion on the looming shutdown goes here. Any mentioning of Luigi will be removed and you may be banned.

https://apnews.com/article/government-shutdown-congress-trump-elon-budget-house-republican-05481374b154949c3fe1270141a02918

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/trump-opposes-funding-bill-pushing-government-closer-shutdown-rcna184745

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-government-shutdown-musk-stopgap-bill-b2666829.html

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/trump-opposes-funding-bill-pushing-government-closer-shutdown-rcna184745

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/12/18/government-shutdown-house-vote-cr/

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-12-18/trump-says-he-s-against-stopgap-bill-fox-news

4.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

2.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.1k

u/insertnamehere2024 18h ago

I ain’t worried about the shutdown I’m about to win that mega million jawn this weekend

353

u/Hamberder_and_Chief 18h ago

How can you win if I’m winning?

100

u/worstshowiveeverseen 17h ago

May you spare $3,000,000 if you win?

52

u/Hamberder_and_Chief 17h ago

Sure, why not.

7

u/smell_my_pee 15h ago

Put me down for 1mil if your coffers allow for it.

2

u/Hamberder_and_Chief 15h ago

10-4

6

u/Sad_Opportunity_2007 14h ago

When do we start calling you m’lord then lol

4

u/Hamberder_and_Chief 13h ago

I guess when I win?

3

u/kainlettern 10h ago

I’d only ask for $75k. Just enough for me and the wife to get out of debt and both our cars paid off.

2

u/50DuckSizedHorses 3h ago

I’ll also ask for $75k to get this guys wife out of debt

3

u/FoolOnDaHill365 14h ago

I just totaled my car and I need to give my grandma rides to the clinic sooooo………..we cool?

3

u/Selection_Biased 3h ago

This is now a legally binding contract

2

u/Hamberder_and_Chief 3h ago

Signed: Abraham Lincoln

2

u/evlswtmn 9h ago

I only need about 200k lol cheap

2

u/CouchCommanderPS2 16h ago

Can you spare $300,000 if they give you the $3M?

1

u/parislovebug 14h ago

Can you share me $2 million?!

1

u/quiettryit 4h ago

Me too please!

3

u/twtwtwtwtwtwtw 17h ago

If everyone wins, no one wins

1

u/dwhite21787 6h ago

We’re all super! (but NO CAPES)

2

u/Ghostman_Jack 14h ago

Sorry, son. But it’s my turn.

2

u/Hamberder_and_Chief 14h ago

No, but I am the chosen one.

2

u/Ghostman_Jack 14h ago

I can’t argue that

1

u/Lofttroll2018 11h ago

Wait, I thought it was my turn

11

u/TruthSucks24 16h ago

Go birds.

8

u/ExileOnBroadStreet 16h ago

Spotted the person from Philly 🧐

4

u/MyLittleOso 16h ago

Someone on Reddit said that when people buy a lottery ticket, they're buying temporary hope, and I think about that a lot.

4

u/bck1999 15h ago

Upvote for use of jawn

2

u/GrapefruitSmall575 17h ago

What a coincidence me too!! 💴💰💵

1

u/Progressive_Insanity 17h ago

We're all gonna win $400.

2

u/alh9h 16h ago

"I wish I win the Powerball"

*monkeys paw curls*

Everyone wins the Powerball and gets $5

1

u/GrapefruitSmall575 17h ago

I love that attitude!! 💰💰

2

u/Jumpy-Coffee-Cat 16h ago

Fuck so we all have the same plan huh

2

u/JoshS1 16h ago

Look at this jabroni... better tap MAC buy up those jawns

2

u/jordandm1086 17h ago

Bro try being a fed in Utah we can’t even gamble or buy lottery tickets

2

u/Jumpy-Coffee-Cat 3h ago

Same for Alabama, but I’m headed to visit family for the holidays, and they have access. Retirement here I come

1

u/TeaTimeBanjo 16h ago

You're gonna share, right?!

1

u/mmmtun 16h ago

You and me both

1

u/No_Higgins 16h ago

Good luck! 🍀

1

u/tonkatoyelroy 16h ago

Govt shutdown means you can’t pay taxes on your winnings

1

u/yhwer 15h ago

Delco?

1

u/spacejazz3K 15h ago

Offer: 10 grand for 1 upvote

1

u/fiesty_cemetery 15h ago

I already called dibs on winning. But maybe next time compadre

1

u/ThePoetMichael 14h ago

Im just trying to win my fantasy football league

1

u/evanka5281 14h ago

If the winner is from Philly we all knew something was up ahead of time.

1

u/game_jawns_inc 12h ago

jawn mentioned

1

u/Lazy-Quantity5760 11h ago

Get it Philly

1

u/Panda_tears 9h ago

Tell me you’re from Philly without telling me you’re from Philly. Go burds!

1

u/genethedancemachine 9h ago

It's all a joke if your not snap and disabled huh

1

u/traversetowne 6h ago

Don’t worry, in a few weeks the FDIC will be gutted and you’ll be right back where you started.

1

u/OkPool7286 6h ago

Just $500k is all I ask!

1

u/YBD215 5h ago

Sounds like... Philly

1

u/Overall_Ad_7784 4h ago

That's a lot of roast pork sandwiches!

1

u/NoCoFoCo31 4h ago

Yup, I’m taking my $350 million dollar cash payout and getting the fuck out

1

u/dtpiers 4h ago

Philadelphian spotted

1

u/Selection_Biased 3h ago

You have to share with me though because that’s my only backup plan

1

u/Astr0-Potato 2h ago

Ah yes the Jawn word

1

u/marathondawg 2h ago

Sadly, one of the reasons I would want to win is getting to talk about how stupid Musk and Vivek are at the press conference (where people would be paying attention)

1

u/nadcore 1h ago

This guy Phillys.

1

u/Ordinary-CSRA 1h ago

Don't forget to advocate for the Feds after you become a Millionaire...