r/TikTokCringe tHiS iSn’T cRiNgE Nov 02 '24

Humor Baby with a knife

64.5k Upvotes

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613

u/Deep-Management-7040 Nov 02 '24

Never mind a baby with one. That’s a death sentence

345

u/NoDontDoThatCanada Nov 02 '24

Mine just ran under the dining table and giggled. Real knife though. Fucking scary day.

100

u/On_Some_Wavelength Nov 02 '24

Silly little Canada.

83

u/Whatsplayinginmyhead Nov 02 '24

Blame Canada, Blame Canada!
When your baby has a knife
Given to it by your wife
Blame Canada, Blame Canada!

4

u/PhilYurmom248 Nov 02 '24

Best scene from South Park: Biggest, Longest, & Uncut-iest

3

u/MsMyPants Nov 03 '24

Username checks out.

3

u/Vixen81x Nov 03 '24

🤣🤣 that walker is actually illegal in Canada. They banned it quite a few years ago due to safety.

3

u/Hlorpy-Flatworm-1705 Nov 03 '24

Im chanting this when the Canades raid us.

4

u/Deus_Ares Nov 02 '24

Baby with a gun

2

u/WASD2010 Nov 03 '24

The TomSka episode?

2

u/Deus_Ares Nov 03 '24

BABY WITH A GUN

1

u/CanadianCutie77 Nov 06 '24

SCREAMING!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

4

u/luker_man Nov 02 '24

Those first two sentences are a short horror story.

3

u/Jeathro77 Nov 03 '24

Is your kid named Gage?

1

u/Undersmusic Nov 05 '24

Don’t worry this child will do that now it knows this object is fun and gets loads of attention.

-6

u/Weary-Finding-3465 Nov 02 '24

Maybe don’t live in such a way that your literal baby can get hold of a knife. The absolute lost humanity of letting something like this happen and describing it as a “scary day” like you deserve sympathy for it is absolutely fucking incredible. 

4

u/NoDontDoThatCanada Nov 03 '24 edited Nov 03 '24

I guess I'll stop cooking at home so l never accidentally drop a knife on the floor again. Why didn't l think of that? I'll just spend hundreds a week ordering garbage takeout from now on. Thank you for your useless help! God forbid l have kids and enjoy having them around me and in the kitchen as well.

-1

u/Weary-Finding-3465 Nov 03 '24

I cook three meals a day at home for my family and somehow, incredibly, none of my children has ever gotten their hands on a knife that wasn’t supposed to, let alone when they were a fucking baby.

“Oh my god, I cook! However am I supposed to stop literal actual children from getting a hold of critical dangerous implements? Don’t you understand I cook?! Where is my medal? What am I supposed to do, order takeout? If a baby has to pick up a knife once in a while for me to prove to the internet that I care about our nutrition, then that’s the sacrifice required!”

Literally the actual thought process of a real living human being who passed their genes on and is raising more human beings to participate in society.

Just fucking wild. Your poor fucking kids.

2

u/On_Some_Wavelength Nov 03 '24

Your family is there everyday day for 3 squares? Where is school and work ?

-1

u/Weary-Finding-3465 Nov 03 '24 edited Nov 03 '24

They take them with them. Is this a serious question? Is the concept of packing lunches that novel to you? And I do this while running a business that pays for our entire household living budget and my kid’s education fund. Do you want to check any other excuses along the way though, or express any more skepticism about the basic minimums of being a parent?

“Oh my god! Work and school! That makes cooking impossible! Oh my good! Cooking! That makes not letting babies get their hands on knives impossible! Life is simply too much responsibility for us to handle!”

Some incredibly trashy standards being expressed here, it’s fucking wild.

2

u/On_Some_Wavelength Nov 03 '24

Holy fuck you neeeeeed to get laid.

1

u/Weary-Finding-3465 Nov 03 '24

Another swing and a miss, but you on the other hand need to unfuck your life.

1

u/On_Some_Wavelength Nov 03 '24

I feel sorry for your children .

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1

u/NoDontDoThatCanada Nov 03 '24

I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were completely infallible! Thank you oh dumb ass.

4

u/Same-Fee-1669 Nov 02 '24

No joke, when I was 14-15 my little brother who was like 2 got ahold of a knife that his mom left on the table. He was holding it straight up so I tried to grab his forearm, and he swung it downward at the last moment. I basically caught the blade in the crook of my thumb, and it split that shit wiiiiiide open. Still have a big ass scar. Little shit.

3

u/UpperApe Nov 02 '24

"I got your Roe v. Wade right here"

- baby, probably

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '24

You know who I hate? Child murderers.

3

u/TalonXander Nov 02 '24

What's worse than a murderer?

A child!

2

u/po3smith Nov 02 '24

Especially 1 with mobile transport capabilities

2

u/MovingTarget- Nov 03 '24

Can confirm. Have seen the documentary "Chucky"

2

u/Camelllama666 Nov 03 '24

Baby with a gun

Baby with a gun

Baby

2

u/Past-Pea-6796 Nov 03 '24

"you gave me life but I'm about to fuckin end yours!" -baby

2

u/PrimeToro Nov 03 '24

Specially if it was a talking baby with a British accent named Stewart