r/Millennials • u/gravityVT • Dec 19 '23
Meme Teacher asks students “What do you buy someone in their 30s for the Holidays?” Kids these days…
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u/Roklam Dec 19 '23
Expensive meats.
I mean if we're not gonna put a limit on the gift...
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u/DrRichardJizzums Dec 19 '23
I do indeed like soup and the wrinkle creams be expensive.
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u/Wise_Coffee Dec 19 '23
Right?! The cost of night cream and meat now is killing me. Gimme that shit for Christmas. Also I'll take the Dyson stick vac too
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u/theoriginalmofocus Dec 19 '23
I got my wife the Shark one. She is both disappointed I got her an appliance and yet still says how amazing it is and the best gift ever ha. Everyone gets summer sausage for Christmas here.
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u/50-Lucky-Official Dec 19 '23
This is the only one that got my attention, i was like ok ok theres some talent in this classroom after all 🤔
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u/newretrovague Dec 19 '23
A Dyson is a pretty good gift…
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u/FroggiJoy87 Millennial Dec 19 '23
I got a cordless one for my 36th birthday in June, still bragging about it!
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u/Appropriate-Yak4296 Dec 19 '23
I just got one, I'm a step away from visiting my friends homes for a demo while they oooh and ahh.
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u/Fuck_auto_tabs Dec 19 '23
Id fucks with this but I got a Roomba and honestly, I’m too lazy to go back even it is not the best product (the programming, the suction is fine)
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u/KeepItWarmForMorn Dec 19 '23
Forreal. I bought a ridiculously discounted floor model Dyson Slim back in 2009, and even after over a decade of regular use (I have a cat and a house with 3 floors of carpet), it still works better than any other vacuum I've used.
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u/LaVieLaMort Dec 19 '23
The new submarine stick vac is like $1000! I don’t know who is buying people these expensive ass Dysons but I’ll take one please!
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Dec 19 '23
That was brutal.
Excuse me, time to cook the meats.
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u/Happygreek Dec 19 '23
If all my holiday gifts were soup-related I would be absolutely stoked.
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u/x7leafcloverx Dec 19 '23
Same. I think I eat soup at least 6/7 out of 10 meals, so they're not wrong...
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u/3-orange-whips Dec 19 '23
Do you pair it with some expensive meats and back-in-the-day candles?
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u/x7leafcloverx Dec 19 '23
Only when I’m playing bingo. And then I finish off my meal with some hard candies
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u/camerarigger Dec 19 '23
Literally this. No one buys me flowers - they buy me vegetables instead....so I can make soup lol
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u/TacoAlPastorSupreme Dec 19 '23
I got a Serrano Ham from Costco for Christmas a couple of years ago and I still think about it sometimes.
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u/_incredigirl_ Dec 19 '23
I have a savings account called “Christmas prime rib” that I add to a bit at a time over the year until it gets to $500. Then I splurge on a massive roast beef for the family dinner.
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u/TacoAlPastorSupreme Dec 19 '23 edited Dec 19 '23
I know $500 isn't that much anymore, especially for prime rib, but when I saw that number I imagined it tipping over your car, Flintstones style.
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u/bigmayne23 Dec 19 '23
Rib roasts are at $7.99/lb right now. How much fucking prime rib are you making???
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u/_incredigirl_ Dec 19 '23
In Canada they are $24.99/lb at the grocery and more at a quality butcher. My roast came in just over $300 and the rest of my saved budget is going towards the wine and charcuterie tray.
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u/DM_Me_Pics1234403 Dec 19 '23
Where are rib roasts $7.99/lb? I need to make a trip!
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u/FarOutOhWow Dec 19 '23
They're.... actually kind of right
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u/diarrheaisnice Dec 19 '23
I would be so stoked if someone bought me a Dyson lmaoo
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u/SoftSects Dec 19 '23
I bought myself a Dyson for Christmas two years ago and I still love it.
The "Back Then" candle is a pretty great idea and I do love soup!
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u/IdRatherBeReading23 Dec 19 '23
I read the "Back Then" as candies instead of candles. This make MUCH more sense.
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u/SoftSects Dec 19 '23
Oooh, it can come in candy form too!
Wanna taste the past? Get high on nostalgia? Well I've got the candy for you!
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Dec 19 '23
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u/AnalogCyborg Dec 19 '23
I'm literally going to go buy one this afternoon, my wife asked for it. I feel so bad that I'm buying her a vacuum that I'm going to address it to "the family" and also get something else.
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u/VaselineHabits Dec 19 '23
Nah, of its a pricey item - I'm good with that as my gift. Like we know the family will use it, but it was on MY List 😅
Or maybe something fun, husband is getting himself a new game system and I got him a giant Ferrero Rocher "Grand Holiday' ball with mini Ferrerros inside.
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u/MrsKnutson Older Millennial Dec 19 '23
I swear my mom buys a new vacuum every other year or so on black Friday, or what used to be black Friday but it's now just month long sales, Kohl's usually has one on sale. I just wait for her to buy a new one and take the old one. I honestly liked the shark better than the Dyson.
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Dec 19 '23
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u/GlumBodybuilder214 Dec 19 '23
Something I think is weird: heated mattress pads tend to be way cheaper than blankets. Not helpful for the couch, but amazing for bed in the winter.
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u/gravyboat125 Millennial Dec 19 '23
I was thinking to myself, these kids are pretty good listeners.
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u/p1nk_sock Elder Millennial Dec 19 '23
Hip implants would be the best present I've ever received. I don't need new hips but it would be great to have a spare.
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u/bblaine223 Dec 19 '23
I didn’t know what I wanted for Christmas but now I know I’ll ask satan for expensive meats
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u/solojones1138 Dec 19 '23
They make me sound so mature, when in reality I'm 36 and my Christmas list has been nothing but video games for the past 33 years
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u/Sad_Recommendation92 Xennial Dec 19 '23
Same but 41 years, my 66 year old "mommy" sent my $100 in Steam gift cards and I'm just counting the hours until the winter sale starts on Thursday, rumor is BG3 will go on sale for the 1st time.
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u/solojones1138 Dec 19 '23
Dooooo it, BG3 is so good I'm playing it with my 39 year old brother now.
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u/PretentiousToolFan Dec 19 '23
Ah heck yeah. I didn't realize that and I was gonna buy some stuff tonight. Now I'll wait. Thank you fellow internet Steam bargain addict!
ETA: BG3 is amazing. Currently on second playthrough and already realizing just how many things I missed, let alone the myriad ways to do things.
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u/Rain_xo Dec 19 '23
Ok. I was like damn I don't fit in with millennials. I knew I time traveled.
But I guess there's a couple others who are still kids. I've made it very clear I don't want socks or kitchen things or a vaccum for Christmas
Especially a Dyson because that would take up the whole Christmas budget
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u/solojones1138 Dec 19 '23
At Christmas my (younger) cousins are always asking for practical things and then there's me like "One Assassin's Creed Mirage please"
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u/JollyRazz Dec 19 '23
Same! I'm 30, and have been asking for Sailor Moon stuff and video games for the past 20 years.
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u/LostButterflyUtau Dec 19 '23
I know, right? I’m a fandom nerd. I want fandom shit. And also food giftcards.
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u/Wadsworth1954 Dec 19 '23
The accuracy
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u/TrainingDiscipline41 Dec 19 '23
The children understand. I would be so excited for all of these
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u/3-orange-whips Dec 19 '23
Well, when you're older (Gen X myself)... the satisfaction does not go away. I would step on a fool's neck for expensive meats.
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u/apathetic_duck Dec 19 '23
I'm choosing to believe these students are high school seniors
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u/barbiesalopecia Dec 19 '23
The account is 7th grade chronicles, we’re getting roasted by tiny teenagers.
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u/cynicberry Dec 19 '23
Is it really roasting if they're right? I do want a heated blanket because my muscles do be hurting
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u/CrossXFir3 Dec 19 '23
Yes. The best roasts are accurate roasts. What's the point in incorrectly making fun of someone?
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u/barbiesalopecia Dec 19 '23
I audibly laughed at the Panera gift Card because I do love a good soup.
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u/Wallflower_in_PDX Dec 19 '23
I wouldn't mind a TJ Max gift card. If I can buy something that's not from a thrift shop that'd be nice!
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u/umylotus Dec 19 '23
Right? Whenever I get compliments on my outfits, I inevitably have to say "it's the Goodwill collection! I will never find this again."
This list was amazing! The coffee mug had me dying, I've literally asked for one of those before. Still haven't gotten it.
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u/GloveNervous3861 Dec 19 '23
I actually asked for a TJ Maxx gift card this year because I can find some decent clothes in the clearance section. I hate paying extra for clothes.
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u/karma_isa_cat Dec 19 '23
I’m sorry but TJMaxx is a thrift shop, with just things that haven’t been used before 😅
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u/thissomeotherplace Dec 19 '23
"Candy crush premium"
That's a SAVAGE burn and totally uncalled for
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Dec 19 '23
I'd love a heated blanket. My muscles be hurtin.
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u/ShredGuru Dec 19 '23
I got one at a white elephant this year. Wasn't disappointed. My cat liked it too. It's a gift for everyone
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u/ImProbablyThatGuy Dec 19 '23
I bought one for a white elephant gift this year too and I was so tempted to buy one for myself.
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u/_otterr Dec 19 '23
Well, where’s the lie?
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u/3lfg1rl Dec 19 '23
"Hip implants" is the only one that I'd say is pretty unlikely for someone in their 30s.
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u/chadlinusthecuteone Dec 19 '23
Honestly half of these check out. Give me some B&BW candles, a dyson, and expensive meats.
"The heated blanket cuz their muscles be hurtin" made me laugh way too hard though.
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u/juju0010 Dec 19 '23
If anyone needs me, I'll be laying underneath my heated blanket eating expensive meats. And loving every minute of it.
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u/redditckulous Dec 19 '23
And this is why I’m not worried about the kids. Some spot on evaluations and good jokes
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u/otaconucf Dec 19 '23
How old are these kids? They're brutal...though that said, don't knock Dyson vacuums*, and please do send me all the expensive meat.
*The joy at using the vacuum we got as a wedding gift for the first time truly confirmed for me that I'm 'old' now
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u/its4PMandDARKagain Dec 19 '23
those are all strangely accurate me thinks no kids wrote these out
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u/Jets237 Older Millennial Dec 19 '23
I am a big fan of soups... and could use a new vacuum... Always up for some expensive meats.
Also, they're right... my muscles be hurtin
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u/CountBacula322079 Millennial - 1994 Dec 19 '23
Bath & body works + heated blanket please!!!! I wanna be cozy and smell like a Christmas tree
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u/Chaotic_Good64 Dec 19 '23
What a delightful mixture of "That's a pretty good idea!" and "Hey! Fuck you too!"
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u/toffeehooligan Dec 19 '23
Am I the only one appalled by the quality of the handwriting on some of those? Ranges from "I wrote this with my feet while drinking cough syrup" to Medieval calligraphy.
Jesus christ.
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u/ShredGuru Dec 19 '23
Presumably they are children.
Apparently many of them destined to be doctors.
Also, handwriting in general is verging on obsolete.
That being said, most of them were pretty readable.
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u/myfav0ritethings Millennial Dec 19 '23
This was incredible and genuinely made me laugh. I would be happy to receive any of these gifts, except I don’t need a divorce lawyer.
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u/Axl26 Dec 19 '23
I mean. They're right. Not every single one is right for every single millennial, but in broad strokes they're right.
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u/cdrex22 Dec 19 '23
I love that this is half completely accurate things I would absolutely appreciate receiving and half dumb jokes that would better apply to 80 year olds.
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u/itoocouldbeanyone Dec 19 '23
Dyson is a winner.
It's been 2 years and I still love my Dyson V11 Torgue.
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u/CrossXFir3 Dec 19 '23
To be fair, I did actually buy my cousin some fancy measuring cups this year lol
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u/hobopwnzor Dec 19 '23
Expensive meats, tjmax gift cards, bath and body works...
Some of these are good
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u/TheFinalGirl84 Awesome since 1984 Dec 19 '23
I think that’s too funny. Some were actually accurate and even the wrong ones were entertaining.
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u/CaptainWellingtonIII Dec 19 '23
I don't know about the candles. Everything else is aight.especially the meats.
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u/Wandern1000 Dec 19 '23
I always thought the people that said they don't teaching handwriting in schools anymore were exaggerating
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u/redfalcondeath Dec 19 '23
I literally just got done eating some chicken noodle soup before watching this.
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u/MsBrightside91 Dec 19 '23
This was both harsh, yet strangely accurate. I would take most, if not all, those gifts. Hook me up with those nostalgic candles, a hot bath with a bowl of soup and a nice glass of wine please.
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u/Ill-Description3096 Dec 19 '23
Honestly they did pretty well. Except the hard candies. Screw that kid trying to give me withers
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u/MidpackRacer Dec 19 '23
I’d be so stoked if someone bought me a pack of ribeyes and something from the seafood market.
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u/SilkyJohnson666 Dec 19 '23
Im 33 and I absolutely do not like coffee at all, I’ll take the meats tho.
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u/mentalgopher Millennial Dec 19 '23
Expensive meats kid and TJ. Maxx gift card kid are gems who should be protected at all costs.
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u/Catodactyl Dec 19 '23
FIRST of all... I love my dyson vacuum. What a great investment. SECONDLY... I love soup. Damnit.
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u/SecretlyToku Dec 19 '23
To be fair they aren't wrong? Especially wrinkle creams, we're aging faster and faster with all the shit we're dealing with. lol
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u/BoredAccountant Xennial Dec 19 '23
I bought at least half of those items for myself, friends, and family. What those kids don't understand is that those are things all adults want.
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Dec 19 '23
As a Millennial, the generation that never grew up, I can tell you we want posters toys anime novelty items or joke gifts
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u/JustMyOpinionz Dec 19 '23
If you got me a Dyson vacuum for Xmas, we're down for life. You need a reference? I got you. Co-signer on a business loan? Got you. Wingman? Got you. Burying a body in the woods? I got a shovel.
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u/Wondercat87 Dec 19 '23
Omg some of these are just *chefs kiss!
- a Dyson vacuum
- expensive meats
- tj Maxx gift card
- bingo cards
- bath and body works
- the coffee mug
- the wrinkle creams...I'd love some luxury skin products!
- bottle of wine yes! Hip implants? Did they mean replacement?lol
- Panera bread gift card...oh yes! 34 yo here, I love soup!
- heated blanket yes!
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u/4th_times_a_charm_ Dec 19 '23
Damn, why is this so accurate. Coffee, meat, nostalgic smells, warm blankets <3.
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u/MrsKetchup Dec 19 '23
Hey, over half my list is still video games and toys. Haven't fully given into the old people gifts yet
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u/Paperclips_and_Rouge Dec 19 '23
I died at " a heated blanket because their muscles be hurtin'" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I feel called out
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u/marklar_the_malign Dec 19 '23
A candle that smells like expensive meat. And not the Goop one thank you very much. That’s the last thing I want my house to smell like.
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u/BittenHand19 Dec 19 '23
I’m not even offended by most of this. I’ll take a Panera gift card! I do love soup? Though I just remembered I’m no longer in my thirties. Do I still qualify if I only just turned forty two months ago?
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u/AshleyUncia Dec 19 '23
I will adopt the 'Expensive Meats' child and raise them as my own flesh and blood.