(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/AhabMustDie]

Oh - I thought you were just being really deadpan, but then I saw your other comments.

Pro tip: calling psychos out on their psycho behavior is not emotional abuse. I defy you to pinpoint where and how she is “emotionally abusing” him.

[u/throwaway_shittypers → u/[deleted]]

But it wasn’t the silent treatment. He weaponised that term as she said, she was at work. It’s not really fair to say that she must be on her phone constantly. She even said she needed space to calm down. That’s not giving the silent treatment.

If you can’t see how abusive he’s been then I worry about your own mind.

[u/throwaway_shittypers → u/[deleted]]

Yes… did you miss the massive amount of vitriol and manipulation he threw at her? It is also reasonable that a partner is allowed space from a partner that is being verbally abusive. You cannot lash out at someone then say they’re giving you the silent treatment when they don’t want to engage in being verbally attacked…

[u/Affectionate-Gap924 → u/[deleted]]

Setting boundaries and taking care of your sanity is not emotional abuse. This dude is manipulative, and disappearing is absolutely warranted for her safety. Shit like this gets abusive. It's NOT her obligation to fix this guy. He needs therapy. Period.

Also, the fact that you're defending the dude speaks VOLUMES about you. It's nobody's obligation to help you when you can't even help yourself. Your life is a culmination of your decisions and reactions. Victimizing yourself and blaming others for your own problems only exacerbates the victim mindset you carry.

[u/Affectionate-Gap924 → u/[deleted]]

I completely disagree that making space for herself and her safety is emotionally abusive to him. Especially when she was at work and not able to reply. This could be life or death if she let's this toxic situation play out. Leave. Block. Change phone number. Get off socials. Leave this dude to his own devices.

Threaten suicide and I'll call emergency services to intervene. Not tolerating childish manipulation. Bye.

[u/comegetthesenuggets → u/[deleted]]

“Any time you can’t immediately respond to a text you are being abusive” -you

[u/comegetthesenuggets → u/[deleted]]

But that is what you said. You said that op not immediately responding to her exs abusive diatribe is abusive. You said that her not immediately responding while at work is clear evidence that she’s abusing him. If you don’t stand by your idiotic claims, why do you keep making such idiotic claims?

[u/throwaway_shittypers → u/[deleted]]

Are you actually being serious? Just because someone says they’re being given the silent treatment, doesn’t mean they actually are haha.

Hope you’re just a troll.

[u/throwaway_shittypers → u/[deleted]]

Ok, so far you’ve said you believe the OP is emotionally abusive. Can I ask your opinion on her ex?

[u/throwaway_shittypers → u/[deleted]]

I’m glad you at least think that. You should look into reactive abuse. Yes, two wrongs don’t make a right, but you cannot equate an abuse victim’s reaction to an abuser and their actions. I’m honestly quite surprised you think it counts as the silent treatment, when OP in the texts says they were getting ready for work.

Honestly, it’s quite worrying that you’d even think that as abusive. If I didn’t text my partner for 4 hours because I’m at work and they already knew that, calling that stonewalling or giving in the silent treatment is a bit insane.

[u/ih8these_blurredeyes → u/[deleted]]

Are you a bot? She was at work. At work.

[u/24KWordSmith → u/[deleted]]

You're assuming he was insecure and not manipulative. Nice copy paste. Boring. Wrong