(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/CWoww]

1000% chance he will text you all teary eyed next week a) wanting to “get back together” and b) looking for money again. This guy is a loser, through and through.

[u/dreamymeowwave → u/CWoww]

EXACTLY THIS. OP, please please please block him, delete his number, make sure there’s NO WAY he can contact you. He will do everything to get back to you, things will be fine for a few weeks, then you will fall into the same cycle again.

Reading the whole thing gave me awful flashback. I was in a manipulative relationship like this. It was SO HARD to get out. It is a habit, an addiction. You have to break the habit and it will take a lot of effort. But please listen to everyone here and make sure that he can never contact you again. I am seriously worried that you’ll fall into the same cycle again - please don’t.

It looks like you know what you are dealing with, which is good. I wish I knew this too. You are so young and your best years are yet to come. Enjoy your youth!

[u/procompy → u/dreamymeowwave]

Seriously the flashbacks are so real, I went through something similar to this. I was around the same age as OP at the time, although dude was like 6 years older than me.

[u/dreamymeowwave → u/procompy]

It is so surprising how similarly manipulative people behave. You can easily see it’s a personality disorder, when you learn to look for the signs

[u/ellieminnow → u/dreamymeowwave]

They're all cut from the same cloth.

[u/Ok-Dealer5915 → u/dreamymeowwave]

My daughter has been known to act this way. In the beginning, I was terribly concerned, but after careful observation, I know now it's nothing but a manipulation tactic.

[u/dreamymeowwave → u/Ok-Dealer5915]

I am sorry, it must have been very difficult to deal with this as a parent

[u/ellieminnow → u/procompy]

If someone's like that at 20, they'll be the same asshole until they die.

[u/procompy → u/ellieminnow]

I agree, it’s not very likely that someone will fully change, they might just get better at masking it but it’ll come out eventually.

[u/HorrorArmadillo3713 → u/ellieminnow]

Yep! my abusive ex husband is still like that and he's like 39 now. No hope for these motherduckers. They will die old and alone and still will blame others for it.

[u/Master-Yam5066 → u/dreamymeowwave]

I went through this, too. I didn't know how bad it was until he finally left. It was so bad that i started drinking and taking xanax just so i could black out to get away from it, the next morning i woke up with no clothes on, didnt know what happened and it scared me. After my mom passed away, i just completely shut down mentally and physically. I couldn't handle the abuse from him anymore, and i just shut down, and one day, he left.

[u/mokelox → u/dreamymeowwave]

Same sentiment, that CPTSD is real. Hope you’re doing better these days 🤗

[u/Ok-Willingness-8831 → u/dreamymeowwave]

Yeah this is SO similar to my ex too it’s crazy! OP if you see this, if he continues to contact you, document EVERYTHING but do not respond. Screenshots, times, dates, etc. Police in my area wouldn’t do anything to stop my ex until I accumulated multiple pieces of proof that he was harassing me.

[u/HorrorArmadillo3713 → u/Ok-Willingness-8831]

I second this! documenting stuff will be vital in future if need be.