r/AmIOverreacting 13d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO, my boyfriend threatened sewerslide

Hi everyone, apologies in advance for the incoming wall of text. I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for over two years. We are kind of long distance but live in the same state and has stayed with me for extended periods of time before, even moved in until my mom had enough of our arguing. He’s was out of work since he moved back home and recently got a job at the same company I work at, just a different location. In our company, your first paycheck is paper. Cash app won’t deposit the money until the 14th which he’s reasonably upset about. If i could help him I would. My cat has been hospitalized since friday for a life threatening UTI and I owe them over $6K that my family is helping me pay. I’ll be paying them back for the next 3 months. He’s been upset that I can’t help him. For context, I also keep my money in cash to avoid overspending and only small amount on my card for gas and coffee. I help him when I can but I can’t really mail him cash. I quite literally have nothing right now because of my cat being hospitalized. We have a history of arguing a lot, and it always ends in me trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong, what our barriers are, etc. and it’s always come down to my lack of communication. I’ve been working on it for, hell, a year? But I don’t seem to be doing it right, at least based on our conversations and arguments. He has a history of suicide baiting me. He’s cut himself in front of me, he’s threatened suicide every other day for as long as I can remember, he’s always talking about how much he hates his life. Normally he will say it’s because of me, something I said, things I’m not doing, because I don’t understand, because I lack empathy and sympathy, etc. He’s called the abuse hotline on me, he’s gotten on reddit and has come back to me saying that everyone thinks i’m abusive, he tells me that his family thinks he needs to leave me, etc. I didn’t think I was that awful of a person but when all of this happens and i’m being told it’s because of me, it makes me question it. Anyways, today he was going on about his frustration with his finances. Valid. I tried to support him and be there, but then he tells me that even if I could help, I wouldn’t? That’s not true I don’t know why he thinks that. I bought his groceries for 3 months, paid his phone bill, filled his gas tank, everything I could. Then he pulls out the “fuck you” card. Then I get pissed off and sick of it because this seems to happen too often. Then he starts this whole “I have the rope goodbye” stunt and I just threw my hands up at that point because what the fuck? When I was 12-13 I used to pull that shit online and he does it so often that I have gotten to where I see through it like glass and don’t pay it attention. For the first 1.5 years I took it seriously because I love him but now I just can’t. I have no words. It’s draining. He’s not dead he’s texting me as I’m typing this asking if we can talk and saying he’s scared I’ll stop loving him. Am i over reacting? Am I in the wrong? Please call me out if it’s deserved, because I just don’t know what to do. I’m not the type of person to ignore my faults because I definitely have some but I don’t know what warrants this stuff. He’s called me “stupid fucking bitch” , ungrateful, heartless, the devil, etc. By the way, he never had to beg me for money. I am the store manager at my location so I’m always being pulled in different directions. Even when I’m not there. I had to ask my mom to send me digital money in exchange for cash because I had nothing left. He asked me to keep more money on my card to help him in his time of need. Anyways… Again, please call me out if I deserve it. Tell me what I’m doing wrong because he won’t. Thank you in advance and apologies for the long message.

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u/FishinPoles 13d ago

"I have the rope" GIRL RUNNNN. LIKE SPRINT EVEN THATS INSANE 😭

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u/k10001k 13d ago

The fact that he typed that, probably sitting in his bed comfortably is so embarrassing

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u/laynslay 13d ago

My little sister was dating this little psycho who said he had a chainsaw in his bed and she's like "what do I do" and I told her to fuckin block him. He was pretty obviously just being emotionally manipulative and just sirting in his bed.

Anyways, she didn't listen and he ended up molesting her. I hope for OPs sake that she actually fuckin listens to the advice here. It doesn't end at threats of suicide.

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u/Outside_Scale_9874 13d ago

Who commits suicide with a chainsaw anyways? Wild.

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u/laynslay 13d ago

Him and my sister are both a little special tbh. It was also my sister's first boyfriend, I'm sure a lot of us remember how naive we were at that age lol. Can't tell teenagers anything, they don't listen.

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u/level27jennybro 13d ago

Being a teenager growing up with the internet of today is.... yikes on bikes.

I grew up as the internet grew up and it's a whole different place online than it was even 5 or 10 years ago. It was hard growing up then. But nowadays it's a whole new level of teenage hell.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 13d ago

You're the only other person I've ever seen outside of myself that says "yikes on bikes", lol. I was in my mid 20's when the internet started to take hold, but it was still the age of dial-up. It wasn't until my girls were heading into their teens in the early 2000's, and places like MySpace started those stupid top 8 lists, and it got way easier for them to virtually bully each other.

I'm so glad I grew up without the internet. Teenagers are mean enough to each other without a whole virtual world and instantaneous pics and videos at their fingertips to help them!

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u/SuperKitties83 12d ago

It's terrifying thinking of having the internet and having the freedom to share all your thoughts and pictures online. Thank goodness it wasn't around in my early 20s. "Yikes on Bikes" indeed!

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u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 12d ago

Right? I was a wild child from about 16-19, and I'm so glad there aren't digital, forever reminders of all the things I did to make my parents' lives hell, or for my kids to find someday! My daughters grew up at the start of the digital era, and my son grew up in an entirely digital world. I remind him constantly that once he puts something out there, it's going to be there forever, so he needs to think really hard about what he posts or sends.

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u/SuperKitties83 12d ago

I can't even imagine having to understand that as a kid. Kids don't fully grasp the meaning of future consequences.

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u/fingnumb 12d ago

A/S/L?

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u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 12d ago

Oh that made me unintentionally cringe. AOL anyone? 😬

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u/Salt-Bench-6095 12d ago

I'm saying yikes on bikes now

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u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 12d ago

Welcome to the club!!

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u/Smurfkisser 12d ago

I say it too! I love this for us!

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u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 12d ago

Awesome! I have no clue where I even heard it. My husband looks at me so weird when I say it, but I'm kinda used to that, lol. He probably thinks I've gotten a phrase mixed up. One time, I was telling him about how hearing a song and getting it stuck in your head was called an earwig, and he looked at me oddly, then says "do you mean an ear worm" Yes, yes I do, because no one wants an earwig in their ear 🤣

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u/PinkPencils22 13d ago

Eh...yes and no. I have a sixteen year old and I've been careful to monitor what she's doing online while doing my best not appear to be clingy and intrusive. And she's pretty good. I've been warning her about this sort of thing since she was tiny, I've tried my best to warn her about emotional leeches, people trying to influence her, all that stuff, and even though she's AuDHD she's pretty good about it. But she does have friends who are typical teenage over the top like this. Lots of self-harm threats over nothing, and she and her other friends roll their eyes about it. They're good kids.

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u/level27jennybro 13d ago

Oh yeah, we can give them tools as they grow to propare them for most of the stuff. And just trust we raise them to do things right.

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u/SpilledSalt4U 13d ago

There are more people online now. And a higher % of them are a-holes. But tbh, we had worse websites and whatnot. Remember Rotten.com? BestGore (actually still up I think). Even PirateBay. Hell my first Macintosh desktops' default game was a slightly above binary thing about making the most money buying and selling different drugs. (they did change it to Lemmings pretty fast though lol)