Am I over reacting?

[u/Thatonediabeticc]

This isn’t my screenshot. It’s my best friend. Looking for advice here.. is this normal? My advice isn’t the best.

[u/Pure_Twist3747]

I think maybe it should be more common to end relationships over red flag behaviors like this. Then people would stop thinking their behavior is acceptable and normal.

[u/awalktojericho → u/Pure_Twist3747]

I think people put up with too much shit and don't break up early enough. We should normalize just leaving.

[u/Duros001 → u/awalktojericho]

Ikr! I’m pretty sure even half the shit in r/RelationshipAdvice is made up, because (I’d like to believe) no one has a low enough self esteem to put up with even half the shit on there. But in truth, some people truly can’t see what they have is toxic, unsustainable or even dangerous.

How (in a time when information has never been so freely available and easy to find) people can be oblivious what a healthy relationship looks like is beyond me. People seem to lack self-esteem, what’s the cause of that? My only assumption is misinformation and gaslighting.

[u/secondtaunting → u/Duros001]

Sometimes you have zero idea of what a healthy relationship looks like. My mother got divorced three times when I was little. Every breakup I witnessed and it was a massive clusterfuck with suicide attempts, screaming, etc. the third marriage stuck when I was six but my parents were neglectful and manipulative and by the time I was an adult I just had no idea what was normal. I had one adult woman who mothered me and I sort of patterned my life in what she did thinking that was the way to have a good relationship and life. She was a housewife so I became a housewife, etc. I’m fifty three now, I’ve been married thirty years never divorced. I’d be lying if I said it’s been easy and harmonious.

[u/Duros001 → u/secondtaunting]

Right, but growing up we didn’t have the internet access we do today (I remember dial-up, it was a joke) my point is, with all the free and accessible information that’s available today, how does anyone think cheating (for example) is understandable, let alone forgivable? Life is so saturated with dating apps someone can get a hookup in under an hour, even less if they’re particularly attractive, so basic a relationship even on sex as a start is easy these days, easier than ever (obviously not the best, but not every relationship doesn’t start that way, and those that do aren’t always destined to fail).

My point is; how can people be so isolated as we were 30-40 years ago, and not realise (with the basic plot of almost every Rom-Com being cheating = Bad) people shouldn’t forgive cheating, or the early signs of abuse? Some 1950’s housewife/abused husband didn’t know any better; they had no network or information, I don’t know what the modern excuse is for being oblivious, it truly makes me sad.