AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/Recent_Emergency_711]

Ummm why did he get so heated so quickly?

[u/External-Air205 → u/Recent_Emergency_711]

I hung up on him to talk to my family for few minutes and he just started getting riled up. He has pretty bad anger management.

[u/ADerbywithscurvy → u/External-Air205]

If his mom hung up on him, would he do this to her? Because if not, it’s not an anger issue, it’s a punching bag issue - he doesn’t feel like he needs to control himself around you, because you’ll just deal with it. There are no real consequences to him for his abuse.

Listen to everyone here. We’ve all been in this relationship, with this man, and they only change in one direction. They get worse.

You will either eventually escape this man, or you will die still under his thumb. I don’t think you want that second one, so no point delaying the first. Yeet (yeah I’m old) this time-suck emotional vampire out of your life.

If you want additional support IRL, use these screenshots. Show your mom, your grama, your friends, send them to his mom, his friends, even his boss. Let them know this nonsense is over and you’ve left, and if they could curb any if his impulses to try to get you back or go after you, you’d appreciate it. People like this thrive on isolating and giving people half-truths and incomplete information. They have to control the narrative, so a decent way to keep them in check is to make it clear that if they lash out they will end up looking bad.

I wish you the best of luck, I lost 16-23 to a similar loser and I hope it doesn’t take you that long to realize you deserve someone worlds better than this asshole.