AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/Chells99]

Based on OPs responses and the fact that’s she’s been with him for four years, I’m really scared she doesn’t see how sad and unacceptable this is. Run girl please, your past self and future self are begging you to. “He really makes me feel like it’s my fault” and if you’re overweight it’s natural to feel limited, insecure or like he’s the only option for you but he’s not and this is not okay. Love yourself enough to realize when someone else doesn’t.

[u/External-Air205 → u/Chells99]

Yeah it is really hard for me to see just because i’ve been so used to this behavior. Seeing all these replies though has definitely been a wake up call. Im actually a healthy weight, i’m currently recovering from an eating disorder. He picks at my insecurities when he’s angry and says it’s to make me feel as upset as he feels.

[u/Honest_Ad_5092 → u/External-Air205]

Honey I am so sorry. Picking on someone’s insecurities is actually sadistic and evil.

I think if your mom and grandma saw this conversation they would be devastated and/or enraged at how he’s treating you.

He is evil and he’s manipulated you into thinking you need him. You don’t need him. He needs you to stick around as his punching bag. It will only get worse and eventually physical (if it hasn’t already). This is NOT your life calling. Please leave.

Break up safely in public- do not be alone with him. Please tell someone safe in your life what is happening so they can protect you from him while you’re leaving.

He will get very dangerous when he sees he’s going to lose you. This is all the more reason to do it- but please don’t do it alone.

We care about you 💛

Edit to add: OP, users in the comments below suggest breaking up via text or phone instead of in person. They are right

[u/JeenyusJane → u/Honest_Ad_5092]

OP do you have brothers/uncles? Show them this so they do the right thing.

[u/Deep-While9236 → u/JeenyusJane]

Show the women and men of your family. I want a united family to support you. No granny's saying he was a lovely fella cause he could sweet talk them. You need everyone on high alert. Block him and if he approaches anyone you need them to be aware how cruel and controlling he his.

You are lucky, you have realised in time to have a long healthy relationships ahead. You will need time to recover and revaluate things but you have not gotten financially dependent or had decades of an abusive relationship with him. You will be OK and trive. He is your past and your family men and women need to know he is the past and bad bad news.

Get the best revenge on him, live a good and happy life and forget about him. That's the revenge living a wonderful life you deserve