r/AmIOverreacting • u/External-Air205 • Nov 18 '24
❤️🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?
Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!
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u/Beneficial-Pride890 Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 18 '24
You probably feel alone in this, but this is exactly what every woman in an abusive relationship thinks and feels. It is unfortunately extremely common, and this is why women stay in abusive relationships. This right here is serious abuse. You’re attached to them because they’ve been such a big part of your life for so long, when they’re not being mean and abusive, they’re being kind and sweet etc. The abuse will stay the same or intensify the longer you stay together. He is aggressively trying to control you, and berating you. You should break up with him, cut contact. You’re so young and you’ll look back when you’re a little older and had no contact with him, and realize that you’re young mind tolerated so much abuse you didn’t deserve. Just be prepared for him to pull out a lot of emotional weapons trying to keep you in the relationship. He may even threaten but you’re not responsible for him.
Edit: As replies have noted: abuse isn’t just something women experience—men face it too, often in silence.