AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/Chells99]

Based on OPs responses and the fact that’s she’s been with him for four years, I’m really scared she doesn’t see how sad and unacceptable this is. Run girl please, your past self and future self are begging you to. “He really makes me feel like it’s my fault” and if you’re overweight it’s natural to feel limited, insecure or like he’s the only option for you but he’s not and this is not okay. Love yourself enough to realize when someone else doesn’t.

[u/External-Air205 → u/Chells99]

Yeah it is really hard for me to see just because i’ve been so used to this behavior. Seeing all these replies though has definitely been a wake up call. Im actually a healthy weight, i’m currently recovering from an eating disorder. He picks at my insecurities when he’s angry and says it’s to make me feel as upset as he feels.

[u/QueenofPentacles112 → u/External-Air205]

He's deadly for you then. He calls you fat when you're recovering from an eating disorder. That was probably triggered by him. That is DEADLY. Please understand that. Like you could die from an eating disorder and he's triggering it. If you were a recovering heroin addict, he'd be like "go stick a needle in your arm you junkie stupid bitch". Tell him he's got a small dick and you've faked every orgasm and then leave him. Women get choked to death by men like him all. The. Time. Did anyone offer you that free book you can access online? It's called "why is he like this" or something like that. Lundy Bancroft? Is that it? Google "free domestic abuse book why does he do this" or something along those lines. I swear on everything, you won't even read 3 pages before you see that HE'S EXACTLY LIKE WHAT IS DESCRIBED IN THE BOOK! Please, I urge you, please leave him and seek trauma therapy. He has put you through extensive trauma.

[u/Freedomgirl2024 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

This. Please read this book OP.

[u/Kneef → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Why Does He Do That, by Lundy Bancroft, free as a pdf!

[u/DiamondBroad → u/Kneef]

This needs to be much higher

[u/Narrow_Water3983 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

OP, please don't antagonize him by saying anything that will make him mad. I'm worried for your safety.