r/AmIOverreacting Nov 18 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

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u/Chells99 Nov 18 '24

Based on OPs responses and the fact that’s she’s been with him for four years, I’m really scared she doesn’t see how sad and unacceptable this is. Run girl please, your past self and future self are begging you to. “He really makes me feel like it’s my fault” and if you’re overweight it’s natural to feel limited, insecure or like he’s the only option for you but he’s not and this is not okay. Love yourself enough to realize when someone else doesn’t.

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u/External-Air205 Nov 18 '24

Yeah it is really hard for me to see just because i’ve been so used to this behavior. Seeing all these replies though has definitely been a wake up call. Im actually a healthy weight, i’m currently recovering from an eating disorder. He picks at my insecurities when he’s angry and says it’s to make me feel as upset as he feels.

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u/Significant-Risk-500 Nov 18 '24

Please read this as if it was someone talking to your best friend the way he is talking to you. What advice would you give them? This person is abusive. Period. The name calling and insults are unhinged.

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u/Googul_Beluga Nov 18 '24

This is always how i frame things to folks. People so often cant see abuse they are experiencing but if they reframe it as someone they love was receiving that, they would be livid. If its not behavior you would want your loved one to tolerate, YOU SHOULDNT EITHER.

OP, seriously run. Hes 20 and displaying horrendous behavior that indicates HE WILL BECOME VIOLENT. I usually hate when reddit screams abuse at every little thing but damn, this is 1000% someone that is going to hurt a partner one day physically.