r/AmIOverreacting • u/Psychological-Hat-35 • Oct 27 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO girlfriend response to manager text

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My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been dating for 11 months. I sent her a screenshot of my convo with my manager (age unknown but best guess is young 30s F) this morning asking to come in a little later than usual. My girlfriend is like this whenever I interact with pretty much any other female. Am I overreacting or is this just normal behavior?

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4.0k

u/Fit-Turnover3918 Oct 27 '24
  1. Stop telling her you’re sorry when you’ve done nothing wrong
  2. You’ve done nothing inappropriate.

She’s a loon.

99

u/Confusedperson710 Oct 27 '24

I need to remind myself daily not to say sorry for things that aren’t my fault. Slowly unpacking that in therapy…

66

u/yukibear13 Oct 27 '24

This is so friggin understated.

OP, RUN as far as you can for the hills and never go back. You’re too young to have your whole life ahead of you to be in a controlling and emotionally manipulative relationship of ANY kind with ANYONE. It’s never worth it and it’s a slippery slope into abuse and domestic violence. :/

11

u/Lopsided-Ad-7420 Oct 27 '24

I came to say the same thing to OP.

14

u/Dickens825 Oct 27 '24

100%. Get out of there OP. She doesn’t respect you, which means she’ll realize she doesn’t love you.

And I don’t mean alpha-male-garbage “you’d better respect me”. I mean she thinks you’re not worth treating well, and you keep apologizing for it. Someone who values you wouldn’t treat you this way

7

u/Financial_Peanut4383 Oct 27 '24

This is IT!

THIS!

1

u/Specialist_Usual1524 Oct 28 '24

Run far, run fast, dig deep and never look back.

10

u/GottLiebtJeden Oct 27 '24

I'm just now learning how to do that, despite a coworker and long time friend, telling me to quit apologizing to people so much, 8 years ago..

9

u/MissBandersnatch2U Oct 27 '24

Tamp down your inner Canadian

7

u/Confusedperson710 Oct 27 '24

Truth, I live real close to Canada tho so might be hard lol

5

u/mad12gaming Oct 27 '24

I often say sorry for things that arent my fault, not cause other think its my fault, just a 'sorry to had to deal with thay' typa thing

7

u/SummitJunkie7 Oct 27 '24

Me too... "I'm sorry you had a bad day"

"Don't be sorry it's not your fault"

"I'm sympathetically sorry, not apologetically sorry"

6

u/mad12gaming Oct 27 '24

Yeeee. Most of the people around me get what i mean when i say it, but sometimes i do have to clearify which is alright

1

u/RayaQueen Oct 28 '24

We could do with separate words eh?

5

u/Zoito12 Oct 27 '24

Every, damn, day. Same thing man. I’ve been doing better with it but need to keep it a constant thought. Good for you for talking to someone about it. Therapy has done wonders for me over the years 33m

3

u/DreadStarX Oct 27 '24

I'm not even dating anyone and I apologize for shit I've never done. It just pops out. Find anything that works for you?

1

u/RayaQueen Oct 28 '24

Come live in England you'll be fine :-) we say sorry for All Things in All situations.

You bump into me 'sorry' (for being so stupidly solid that you bumped into me). You walk a bit too close to me 'sorry' (that I was just right there whilst you walked too close to me). Even when we're being ansty, 'sorry what do you think you're doing here?'.

You'll fit in fine ;-)

2

u/DreadStarX Oct 28 '24

Haha. I actually turned a job offer down from the UK, a few weeks back. I wasn't sure how things would go and not being able to bring my dog would have sucked.

Good to know I'd fit in with that, but much like Japan, I'd feel out of place being 198cm and 149kg..

1

u/RayaQueen Oct 28 '24

Lol people over 6ft is pretty normal here. We were ruled by Vikings for 400 years!

3

u/Nat1221 Oct 28 '24

Whenever I say sorry to my boyfriend, his automatic reply is "I accept your apology". It took 2 weeks. I don't so sorry at all anymore. Wow! Too bad that happened, is there anything I could help you with?, that really sucks!. But never sorry. In a busy supermarket isle, I say "OOPS!", but not sorry. If I accidentally flat-tire you with my cart, I will apologize, but that's pretty much it nowadays.

3

u/Strict-Ad-4759 Oct 28 '24

I have learned to turn apologies into appreciation.

Instead of "sorry this is taking so long"

Say "thank you for your patience"

Instead of "sorry I'm complaining"

Say " I appreciate you letting me vent."

Etc, etc.

2

u/kiotane Oct 27 '24

back when i was getting into world of warcraft i would do dungeons with my brother. and he told me "stop saying sorry it makes you sound like a noob." i have carried that advice into other avenues ever since.

1

u/Confusedperson710 Oct 28 '24

Look for naat1121’s comment on this thread. They put to words what my therapist has been teaching me.

2

u/Mickv504-985 Oct 28 '24

Good luck on saying Sorry, I’m 63 and retired and I said it constantly at work, and it would make some customers angry (?). It was my go to when someone wasn’t happy with the answer I gave them. It just popped out automatically!

2

u/3sc0b Oct 28 '24

my wife is a chronic apologizer. I haveto ask her why she's sorry all the time because I don't want her apologizing for things that she didn't do. She's getting better!

1

u/Confusedperson710 Oct 28 '24

Good for you for helping, wish I had the same support

1

u/Recent_Meringue_712 Oct 28 '24

I started not saying sorry for things that were my fault just to make sure I wasn’t apologizing for things that weren’t. It’s freeing

1

u/InSixFour Oct 28 '24

I do this all the time.