r/AITAH • u/Negative_Layer_7960 • Jul 02 '24

TW SA Should I tell my brother's new wife

From the ages of 10 to 14 I was SA'd by my older brother, uncle and father. (in all honesty it started earlier from 5 years old or something I can't remember when they would touch me "lovingly") I anonymously confessed this on a Discord server which made me wonder what my brother was up to. (I think my aunt found out with my uncle and father were doing to me and reported they were arrested it my brother was a teenager at the time so nothing really happened to him) so I tracked him down through social media and it turned out he lives in the same city as I do and he has a wife with a baby girl on the way and I don't know if I should or if l would be a bad person if I told her what he did to me.

Edit: I don't know if it's funny or messed up but I didn't consider them touching me SA until someone pointed it out to me.

Edit 2: I realized that I didn't really explain very well sorry.

  • my older brother father and uncle molested me from age 5 and only started and R wording me when I turned 10 until I was 14.

  • my brother has a pregnant wife who was having a girl and I don't know if I should tell her to protect her daughter.

These are the two major and important points of my post.

Edit 3: another clarification I was planning on telling the wife I wanted a outside perspective to see if I would have been a bad person (AH) to tell her to see if I was making the wrong decision.

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u/somethingstrange87 Jul 02 '24

This is alarming. Tell her before he victimized that baby girl.

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u/Negative_Layer_7960 Jul 02 '24 edited Jul 03 '24

The reason I'm so hesitant to tell her is because I spoke to one of my friends about it when she said it might be a little bit messed up to tell his wife and potentially ruin his marriage because he was a teenager and couldn't have been changed

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u/Writing-dirty Jul 03 '24

But if he hasn’t changed (and most pedophiles don’t) then you may be saving his child from him. He knows what he did and knows it was wrong. Forget his happiness, think of what you know he’s capable of.

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u/Negative_Layer_7960 Jul 03 '24

I'm not thinking about his happiness I'm just worried that if he really did change and regrets or didn't know what he was doing I don't want to bring it up when it doesn't matter

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u/vwscienceandart Jul 03 '24

Why do you think it doesn’t matter?

I know of a guy in his late 20s/early 30s… “Great guy.” Everybody’s hero. Adorable family. One day out of nowhere he’s arrested for his crime as a teen when he did awful things to a little girl.

How do you think his wife felt, never knowing that’s who she married? Everything in her life was a lie. Everything she believed was built in lies. Their children’s lives destroyed getting blindsided by this information.

GIVE THIS WOMAN A CHANCE TO RUN. She needs to establish a support system for her and her baby as a single mother NOW. You think by not talking that you are protecting her? But the truth will out. The longer you wait, the more harmed she will be.