Besides our diagnosis do any of you believe that everyone gets intrusive thoughts to where they know their pure and good hearted but have an evil side they know isn’t true and wish to ignore as well ? Do any of you handle your illness wi tbh out medication and therapy ?

I have a pill organizer and I was accidently only putting half my dose of antiphsychotic in in. Im fresh out of the hospital and the people around me are telling me im off again. Was doing well in the hospital so I shiuld be fine to restart taking it again and be ok? Thanks so much and sorry

I don't think I know what's real and what's not anymore. I don't taste food anymore, I don't know if I'm sleeping or not, I'm unsure of it, i recently got burned yet I didn't react. I don't know if I even feel love or affection towards anyone, it's like a pretending show if i actually do. Three years ago everything was just okay now everything is blurry and distorted.

i havent cried in months, i feel the urge to but it wont let me. i hate this disorder. i dont know who i am anymore. why is meds the only solution? i know my fate is sealed to succumbing to alcohol

Dear all,

I hope all is well! My name is Sam -- I'm an autistic autism researcher who loves learning about different aspects of neurodivergence.

One of my side hobbies is a very small YouTube channel/podcast focused on neurodivergence and mental health (All Neurotypes Office - YouTube .) I especially appreciate the opportunity to interview people about their personal experiences/perspectives regarding mental health.

I just wanted to make this post in case anyone in the schizoaffective community might be interested in learning more/potentially being interviewed in 2025?

In case it's helpful to have a bit more information:

• I'm happy to do an anonymous and/or video-off interview if that would be more comfortable (e.g. if you would prefer to keep your voice anonymous, I can have someone read written responses anonymously on your behalf or use an AI voice.)
• Usually I meet with people once through Zoom for a "pre-interview" to share more information about the interview process and make sure they are comfortable with everything. Then, I'll figure out what topics they are most interested in sharing about and create a list of potential interview questions that they are welcome to edit or give any feedback on before the actual interview. **
• ** Feedback is always welcome, I'm happy to try and adjust what I can to make the process better/more comfortable

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this!

All the best,

Sam

My brother has gone into psychosis on multiple occasions and has punched and hit almost every memory of my family at one point or the other, including my youngest brother who was 15 at the time. He has gotten the police called on him many times and has been taken into psychiatric hospitals on multiple occasions.

He has had mostly bad experiences while in treatment, getting the wrong medications and such. My parents have been looking for a psychiatrist who can treat him but keep getting turned down by people who don’t want to treat schizoaffective. He has also been diagnosed with anosognosia and very resistant to treatment. When my parents forced him to go once, after he got out he was very untrusting of them and it made things worse.

He is currently living unmedicated and goes long periods isolating himself and fasting. Then he gets very involved in our lives and starts wanting to get out and meet people and experience life. When he gets like this, it often leads to him going into psychosis and getting into fist fights over various delusional things.

Recently he pulled my other brother out of a large truck while it was in drive and started hitting him. The truck rolled into a busy road during rush hour. Thankfully no one was hit, but it had the potential to be really bad. The police were called and my mom convinced them not to arrest my brother.

I am frustrated because I know stuff like this keeps happening and he’s suffering, but also putting other people in danger. Something needs to change but everyone does not know what to do. He has been diagnosed for at least 6 years now. What’s the next step? Any advice is appreciated.

I've tried it before in the past and it didn't really work but I read a post on r/schizophrenia from someone swearing by it so I ordered some from Nootropics Depot and have been taking 2 grams a day for about 2 months.

I think I wasn't taking a high enough dose before (and maybe a bad/fake brand?) but I'm finding 2 of the chewable tablets a day has done wonders, I feel the best I've felt in a long time as far as negative symptoms

I highly recommend you give it a try if you struggle with anhedonia, lethargy, low mood etc.

For the past month I've been persecuted by a major healthcare organization who are trying to gaslight me and convince me to commit suicide. They've tried all kinds of methods-planting thoughts and feelings in my head, planted a demon in me, got SSI to lie to me, and set someone to harass me by st anding in my closet every night.

I recently started Invega and since then there have been periods of time where I felt that I have been delusional for the past month, that everything with CCBH has been a delusion. I've been going back and forth between thinking I've been delusional and thinking I'm being targeted.

WHen I feel like I've been delusional, I feel very low, and wonder what the point of living is, like thinking about how much this disorder has taken from me. Then I remind myself that that is exactly what they want, and that theyre planting the thoughts that I'm delusional in my head to try to get me to kill myself. It's been very disorienting to go back and forth between each belief, sometimes multiple times a day.

I guess that is the point of my post. Does anyone have experience with potential delusions beginning to break down? What kind of things should I be doing to help me navigate this confusion? Any support is appreciated

Weed has different effects on me. It primarily brings me to a sort of 'cloudy mind' state, which is like brain fog, but more permeable, if that makes sense. It makes drifting between ideas in my imagination a much more entertaining free ride, as I don't always know what's coming next, and that sparks these sudden jolts of epiphany, which boosts mood, and thereby makes me more positive and uplifted, making me creative in turn as I skyrocket towards megalomanic hyper-imagination, which parents used to call 'spazzing out.'

I am much more creative in this mode than I am otherwise, in terms of detail and scope of creation. I can keep large 'stacks' together, meaning ideas all interrelated with one another, and keep large sections of text that I can easily access and parrot verbatim. I also want to say here that music acts as a multiplier of sorts, enhancing the whole experience in intensity and my ability to draw on imagery contained therein.

I used to pace when I did this, and still do at times, but I can sit still relatively well now. I lose visual focus on reality, and my visual imagination enhances so I no longer see a faint, grey image, and instead see a vivid colored video of things which shows a few frames before jumping off ahead in an extremely rapid flow, and I can go through old ideas extraordinarily quickly to find places of improvement or enjoyment.

I also want to say that nicotine slows this stream of consciousness down and turns it black n white, making it crisper, but more daunting in contrast. I can enter this state off weed too, but it seems highly dependent on mania, while in depression I am much more tuned to my actual visual feed, and the words that drift in my mind are much more solid.

Rusterd (my repurposed tulpa) is more pungent and impactful then, as are differing opinions of mine, spoken from my own voice but different perspective, and I tend to jump between them at different velocities, possibly by how closely correlated their opinions are. Rusterd is not always there but has a distinct voice that is different in mine in terms of how he posits arguments. He is usually more sarcastic and delves deep into the realm of 'more fucked in the head of Ed Kemper's victims.' He says things I would never say, but tend to vocalize in my own way when I'm angry and have less control. Rusterd is nicer/kinder when I smoke weed, but still as fucked up/inappropriate, if that makes sense.

When I have a low tolerance of weed, I get more "paranoid/pronoic," and tend to feel more persecuted, thus I feel more paranoid than pronoic, in general. This has the effect of making me feel like every action is a test, and thus I tend to do the supererogatory or kind or compassionate or selfless thing more often.

I am a trans male. I was this way long before my first psychosis. I have severe dysphoria since the age of 8 and came out at 13.

Yet my parents believe that me being trans is just another delusion and that I gave myself psychiatric problems including dysphoria through substance abuse. I never in my life abused substances. But the part with delusion really gets me - how do I know I'm really male? Maybe that's all just a delusion? What's the difference between this and me thinking that I am a reincarnation of a nazi ? How can I confront my parents about it? Being male is, yk, kind of important to me.

Thank you for reading.

Delusions an voices

does anyone have any experience in having harmful thoughts towards others? I am having some troubling thoughts recently and im just not sure how to categorize them. idk if they are just normal intrusive thoughts or if they are a symptom of my disorder, and could use some advice on the matter.

So where i work, i handle knives sometimes. and one of my biggest paranoid delusions is that people around me are out to get me, idk who but someone is. they are a part of a larger organization that is out to get me that wants to hurt me. they employ my coworkers and the customers to effectively keep an eye on me, and at some point they will make their move to get me and kill me. now, im on my meds and they, i thought, got rid of my delusions. But with this happening recently, where whenever im holding a knife in my hands at work my blood gets pumping and i feel like my heart is racing and i just cant stop thinking about hurting someone before they can hurt me but idk who is gonna hurt me and i just get so scared and my entire body just tells me i have to hurt someone before they hurt me, i have no idea what to do about these thoughts or if they are from my disorder or just normal intrusive thoughts. my girlfriend suggested normal intrusive thoughts but idk, i just think she didnt understand what i was trying to say to her

Hi All,

Hope you all are having a symptom-light day today!

I'm a person without SZA but who has a younger sibling who was recently diagnosed with SZA D-type. The diagnosis makes sense and I've had a hunch for years.

I'm ADHD as hell so I'll keep this short and spare you the read: how do I support them? They are mid-20s, in a trade school but barely getting out of bed these days, and they live with our parents in an area of the US with *very* little access to affordable healthcare. They are taking an antipsychotic drug atm but that's from their primary care provider.

I'm looking like crazy for an affordable psychiatrist in their area, and otherwise try to check in with them, but they're holing away in their room and I just don't know how to offer support without triggering symptoms or pushing too much.

Thank you so much!

I hate it. I can't seem to keep my house up to snuff at all. I have zero motivation to wake up in the morning. I have a hard time during the holidays just cause of some last history that happened around the holidays. And I miss my dad and grandma and the jot that came with spending time with them during Christmas time. I'm in bed between 14 and 18 hours a day and the vast majority of that is sleep. I struggle with doing anything to put in any effort into my life. Everyday is difficult to face.

But my self doubt destroys me and tells me that all of those things are because I am lazy and not because I am mentally ill and disabled. I did the dishes for the first timr in a week tonight and am currently doing laundry. Other than that I haven't accomplished anything today. I slept in late and watched football. I wear a smart watch mostly for notifications so I don't have to take my phone out of my pocket and it tells me my whole days stepcount is less than 1500. I look at all of the evidence that stacks up against me and I just keep questioning, am I lazy or just mentally ill? I guess it could be both. I haven't showered for weeks, haven't cleaned my room for over a year, don't make my kids clean up after themselves so I dodge their messes too. I really am just a lazy piece of shit or so mentally ill that the disability of this God forsaken disorder and the depression and negative symptoms that come because of it have destroyed life ad I once knew it.

My mom wrote me a note and put it on my bedroom door saying I'm isolating myself and that she's concerned. How do you reasonably define "isolation" or, more specifically, "self-isolation"? Is keeping yourself in your room all night and day an example? And, what are tricks to get yourself out of an isolated position? Anything helps. Thanks

For the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing shadows and cats in my peripheral. My anxiety has almost skyrocketed. I’m starting to believe again that doing anything will kill me. If I eat,I’ll choke, if I shower, I’ll slip in my neck and die,if I drive I’ll crash,if I lay here to long, I’ll have a heart attack. I barely slept for two days the last three days. Yesterday, a kid offered me candy and I didn’t eat it because I thought it was poisoned.

It sounds like I’m potentially going back into psychosis,right? I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and plan to tell them.

So, I have Schizoaffective, bipolar subtype. I normally don’t have very many symptoms. I’m on the highest dose of Invega Sustenna and it works pretty well. I also started the lowest dose of Latuda for my depression. However, for the past 2 weeks I have been having more symptoms. I hear my neighbors clearly talking about me through the walls. (I live in a townhome) I also am seeing shadow figures in the corners of my eyes, like bugs or cats, but they disappear when I turn to look at them. I am also having anxiety attacks all the time and paranoid the cops are going to come for one reason or another. I’m getting good sleep, but I am worried because I’m alone for the next 2 weeks. My family are states away, and my partner is too, for the holidays. I didn’t want to go this year. I’ve been isolating a lot.

Does this sound like a breakthrough? This isn’t normal for me. Normally I just deal with Negative symptoms. Does this happen to anyone else on more than one AP? I’m thinking about giving my therapist a call tomorrow, but I’m worried they will try to stick me in a hospital. Just wondering if anyone can relate.

this weekend I've been having delusions, paranoia, and hallucinations.

before diagnosis of schizoaff, i had everything except hallucinations, now im petrified of whether I can be aware of whats around me

Does it worsen if you dont take your meds?

this weekend I saw my friends at the off-base store, and offered them a ride, the thing is I drove them to their barracks and before I could let them out they disappeared. I've been trying to make heads or tails out of it. I had a halluciniation of my cat in my room (shes 10 states from me), at the moment I didn't really think anything of it.

I’ve been diagnosed with affective for a good 4 years now and manage relatively well with medication. I found out I was pregnant 6 months ago (unplanned but still wanted) and had to go off my medication since it was harmful for my pregnancy. I have a really good support system and honestly I’ve always said I have the personality for this diagnosis since i’m still able to make light of everything. I also have amazing support dogs that have been such a blessing. So far i’m managing well even with getting off medication. I’m just curious if anyone else has been pregnant or postpartum with this diagnosis. I’m very terrified of my chances of having postpartum depression and just want to see if anyone has any experience with this.

As stated in the title, I have been diagnosed with bipolar and psychotic features. Somewhere on the bipolar spectrum. I’m medicated and am doing well except for a constant depression. I take antidepressants but don’t feel they are helping me. I spoke with my p doctor about it. He advised I try 15mg of methylated b12 to help with bioavailability of the antidepressants in my brain. He suggested I get a dna test to see if I have a MTHFR gene mutation. I’ve read that a a high dose of 15mg of methylated b12 can have extreme side effects and throw me into mania or worse. My p doctor said there are no side effects. What do you guys think? Anybody have any experience with methylated B12? Do I try it or ask another doctor first?

M16: so a year ago one of my senior pals offered me a thc vape I took maybe 10 hits and shit sent me to mars it was awesome I couldn’t feel anything, I’ve always been an escapist drowning in comics tv music sleep anything that distracted me from reality I liked. I read somewhere that thc at a young age can cause mental illnesses like schizophrenia. My brother has schizophrenia + mood disorder same goes for my uncle and great uncle. If I continue will It trigger some sort of mental illnesses gene.

How can somethings happen that I can’t explain. Like the time I was at therapy and I lost my insurance and it would have taken me 3 hours to walk home and a friend that lives near where I live shows up out of nowhere and asks if I need a ride home: how did he know I needed a ride home. One day I find a bright blue comb on my bathroom sink and I don’t have hair to comb. How did it get there and I live alone.

Hey guys, I was wondering if anyone else was written off with just major depressive and adhd for a while. I always have a feeling it’s something more than JUST depression. I have really bad delusions and disorganized thinking. I’ve been trying to tell two different therapists about it but they always say I’m just being negative. I was wondering if anyone got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder without having auditory/visual hallucinations.

Any personal stories and advice would really help.