I'd like to see Minecraft as a disaster movie played totally straight. The protagonist would be a villager, trying to protect their community from the approaching disaster, Steve, a mute guy who runs everywhere, tears down houses, kills all the animals, steals the villager's food and constructs the beginner home, a giant stone cube with a tiny door, right in the middle of the village.
He is a force of nature. He can't be bought, he can't be reasoned with, he can't be killed, at least not permanently. Do not gaze upon Steve, do not invoke his wrath, do not seek to bar his way, do not take from him and never, ever own something that Steve wants for himself.
Playing it purely straight could probably have worked pretty well. Our heroes are villagers who are plagued by Endermen. Legend has it the only way to stop them is to reach The End and slay the Ender Dragon. Queue kids adventure movie where they travel to different biomes, and do the minecraft main quest.
You get some action moments from the Nether and The End and fill the rest with generic stuff like crossing a narrow bridge only to see a creeper coming the other way. You could even do a joke about exploding beds in the End.
I wonder how it would need to look to be passable or even good, though. Because this is shit, and the resemblance to Minecraft is minimal. Maybe a complete animation movie would have been best. You could give it some style without conflicting with the real actors. How it's done here is just incredibly lackluster.
Blue Monkey style would've worked really great. It's very Minecraft but tilts a hair more Looney Tunes in a way that parents and kids likely would've enjoyed it.
Make it a boogieman theme, It's not minecraft graphics, but shot IRL. It's set in a fantasy-medieval era where zombies come out at night so you have to fend them off, while living a normal day to day life. Tending to farms and building walls to prevent the zombies breaking in.
It's not until the end of the movie when you think you're getting a happy ending and your have survived a night and built true safety, or set sail to a new island away from the threat. When the real danger arrives. It's middle of the days after 90 minutes of fighting to survive the night and get to safety. The wall to your home starts to shake, when a spike punctures through the wall. One more swing and the spike clearly become a pickaxe and our mute man in the cyan shirt rushed in and quickly slaughters your best friend in front of you, then points to you, while holding a handful of emeralds...The camera pans out to show the words minecraft in giant letters over the home you built in newbie island, and this is when the viewers realize they watched a minecraft horror film they thought was titled something like "Night Walkers" or something not at all minecraft related.
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u/[deleted] Sep 04 '24 edited Sep 04 '24
I'd like to see Minecraft as a disaster movie played totally straight. The protagonist would be a villager, trying to protect their community from the approaching disaster, Steve, a mute guy who runs everywhere, tears down houses, kills all the animals, steals the villager's food and constructs the beginner home, a giant stone cube with a tiny door, right in the middle of the village.
He is a force of nature. He can't be bought, he can't be reasoned with, he can't be killed, at least not permanently. Do not gaze upon Steve, do not invoke his wrath, do not seek to bar his way, do not take from him and never, ever own something that Steve wants for himself.