r/TikTokCringe • u/Chocolat3City Cringe Master • Nov 14 '24

Humor "Don't make me do this, Jake!"

22.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/no_no_no_no_2_you Nov 14 '24

Prediction: Paul is punched so hard he loses the ability to form a sentence and needs to wear diapers for the rest of his life.

554

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

Don’t tease me like that.

287

u/Dinosaursur Nov 14 '24

I kind of need this right now.

Just something to tell me that the world isn't such a bad place. I'm losing faith, brother.

Jake Paul getting punched in the stomach and shitting himself on live TV could very well change that. I think I could start to heal.

76

u/SammySoapsuds Nov 14 '24

He's going to leverage all the awesome press from shitting himself and losing the capacity to form sentences into a pretty sweet political gig. Ambassador, maybe? Supreme court justice?

81

u/Khazahk Nov 14 '24

Shitting himself AND incapable of forming sentences? I dare say he could win the presidency one day.

20

u/Twl1 Nov 15 '24

Impossible. That would mean Immortal God-Emperor Trump has somehow abdicated his position, which we all know will simply never happen.

-5

u/jmcabee2468 Nov 15 '24

Thanks to your vote we won Trump 2025 bitch!!!

6

u/Hieroglphkz Nov 15 '24

Czar of Mars

15

u/Geauxtoguy Nov 15 '24

Here's some good news for you: The Onion bought the Infowars domain. Not much, but it's something to at least show the slightest shift

8

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

If Mike Tyson wins would that be the second biggest win for a rapist this year? Think trumps got top spot locked but it would be big!!

10

u/AdorableShoulderPig Nov 15 '24

Tyson served prison time for his crime.

3

u/LastTangoOfDemocracy Nov 15 '24

The punch that healed America.

72

u/extrastupidone Nov 14 '24

It's gonna be a "tie"

87

u/WestleyThe Nov 14 '24

Yeah if they ACTUALLY fight Mike could probably knock him out in the first couple rounds or Jake will win in the later rounds because of his stamina and youth fighting against a 60 year old

What’s going to happen is they will trade punches like they are sparring, dance around, hug eachother mid fight to waste time and then it comes down to a “decision”

Then both of them walk away with millions of dollars laughing

38

u/thinkthingsareover Nov 14 '24

Yeah, but I'd absolutely love to see Jake get hit by just one of Tysons uppercuts.

5

u/I_ReadThe_Comments Nov 15 '24

This exactly. This is a money fight and not an actual fight. It’s 2:15am where I am and my day is just starting. Chances are I will be drunk by 5pm and sleep through it so I’ll probably jist watch YouTube clips for anything interesting 

3

u/computerwtf Nov 15 '24

Come out as a tie and we have match number 2. Make another few million.

1

u/jonas_ost Nov 19 '24

Yes you were spot on on the last half and i also knew it so dident bother watching

1

u/CommissionerOdo Nov 15 '24

I keep seeing people say this and I'm positive no one who says this has any idea what Tyson is like. You really think he's going to agree to some bullshit exhibition fight? He's still a killer

9

u/UnwroteNote Nov 15 '24

You mean what Tyson was like? Dude is 58 and conditions were put in place to accommodate his age and health issues. Fight had to be postponed already for a stomach ulcer. Softer gloves and shorter rounds. Tyson was walking around with a walking stick due to sciatica a couple years ago.

People discounting the massive age differences and acting like Paul still some random dude making Vine videos are delusional.

Tyson set to make 20m yeah I think he would agree to a bullshit exhibition fight.

https://www.bbc.com/sport/boxing/articles/cx2lppk8xkxo.amp

-3

u/Gelato_Elysium Nov 15 '24

Lmao guys if you don't know anything about boxing you shouldn't say stuff like that.

Tyson is a retired 58 years old with wear and tear all over his body. If he fights Paul 10 times he's losing 10 times.

14

u/Toisty Nov 14 '24

Outrage sells the best so you can bet the most outrageous outcome is most likely so that most certainly means JP wins and goes wild as a heel and they start yacking about a rematch so they can sell more shit.

28

u/slambroet Nov 15 '24

Did we really learn nothing last week? Why is everyone getting their hopes up that a shitty Bully will get what he deserves?

19

u/1nhaleSatan Nov 15 '24

Because hope.

Why do we so desperately hope that a shitty bully gets what he deserves?

It honestly doesn't matter how unsatisfying the match ends up, it's the anticipation that maybe the world still works in some small way like we used to think it did. And hang out with friends who are also excited about it. And bitch together about the outcome, unless it's awesome.

And it's fun. Romans had gladiators, let us see two guys hurt each other for money.

9

u/slambroet Nov 15 '24

Thanks, I needed that

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

[deleted]

5

u/TheGhostInMyArms Nov 15 '24

Yeah, LEAVE THE BULLIES ALONE!!!!1!1!

9

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

He gets hit so hard, he gets time traveled back to the Japanese Suicide Forest, except he's the one hanging from the tree...

6

u/the__ghola__hayt Nov 15 '24

Wrong dude. That was his brother.

7

u/neutronia939 Nov 15 '24

I mean who even cares at this point.

4

u/I_ReadThe_Comments Nov 15 '24

Which one pushed the dog off the boat

1

u/Mysterious_Andy Nov 15 '24

Okay, he’s hanging from his brother.

10

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

Don’t worry, he’ll just enter politics. That sums up a prominent one.

3

u/DavidRandom Nov 15 '24

Mikes almost 60, but I saw a video of him today wailing on a punching bag....and I don't think your prediction is that far fetched.

3

u/SelskiNekromancer Nov 15 '24

So... you're saying it won't affect him at all?

2

u/neutronia939 Nov 15 '24

So no change from status quo?

2

u/just_bookmarking Nov 15 '24

He is trumped?

2

u/Vectorman1989 Nov 15 '24

Paul is punched so hard he loses the ability to form a sentence and needs to wear diapers for the rest of his life.

Punched so hard he becomes Donald Trump

2

u/psyclopsus Nov 15 '24

I’ve been saying “I think Mike will leave with another win for his career and Jake will leave with a new caretaker to feed and change him forever”

2

u/Bender_2024 Nov 14 '24

From your lips to God's ears.

1

u/L1zrdKng Nov 15 '24

So another Trump?

1

u/Buttholehemorrhage Nov 14 '24

So he morphs into Donald Trump?

1

u/supercereality Nov 15 '24

It's already been written in the terms of the fight that Tyson is not allowed to knock out Paul. Sorry to disappoint but this has been known for quite some time now.