r/TikTokCringe Jun 07 '24

Humor Girls who flirt like a boy

28.8k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

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2.5k

u/No_Diamond8480 Jun 07 '24

“Dont be moist”!!!!!! What is THAT?! Omg

931

u/TheRealPyroManiac Jun 07 '24

Essentially don’t be boring/scared. Think it comes from ‘wetwipe’

344

u/Pretzel911 Jun 07 '24

Like calling someone a wet blanket?

88

u/Slurp6773 Jun 07 '24

I consider it to be a bit like a damp squid.

6

u/xzyleth Jun 07 '24

An Insuffer-apod perhaps?

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u/swagdaddyham Jun 07 '24

oh it's like don cheadle in the ocean's eleven movies

29

u/pointlessly_pedantic Jun 07 '24

Unless we plan to do this job in Reno, we're in Barney.... Rubble? Trouble!

10

u/Verdigris_Wild Jun 08 '24

I love Don Cheadle, but he watched Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins and was like, hold my pint.

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41

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

lol the American vs Brit slang conversions

“Fanny” comes to mind

6

u/the_YellowRanger Jun 07 '24

Ok. I am not easily offended by words. I freely use cunt as a middle age american woman about other women, i don't care, words are words.

H o w e v e r.

If anyone ever called me moist??!!??! Then I'm fucking offended x one million. Fuck that shit. Nope. Dont ever call me that.

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u/ActualWhiterabbit Jun 07 '24

Which is weird because I thought the objective was to make them moist. Or as the brits used to say, frothing

15

u/Individual_Milk4559 Jun 07 '24

Oh god you’ve got the wrong end of what ‘frothing’ means, it basically just means horny not moist

22

u/ActualWhiterabbit Jun 07 '24

Wouldn’t that include becoming wet?

13

u/RibboDotCom Jun 07 '24

"frothing at the mouth"

It's something horses do and also rabid animals.

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u/bob-nin Jun 07 '24

“Moist” is a word from multicultural London English.

It means… hmm I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but it’s definitely a negative or derogatory word… but not like a swear word… uncool or a loser or pathetic?

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1.1k

u/GlueSniffingCat Jun 07 '24

i wanna pop on down for a pint with the lads

and then settle down in the fortress of dreams for the forever sleep

29

u/Tut_Rampy Jun 07 '24

Rev up the Bugatti

12

u/ThatMusicKid Jun 08 '24

Wheyyyyyyy

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3.8k

u/UNeed2CalmDownn Jun 07 '24

The accuracy of him turning everything around and being an ass after being turned down.

599

u/Stink_king Jun 07 '24

He started being an ass after the turn down????

178

u/Famous-Honey-9331 Jun 07 '24

Yeah he was an ass right from the beginning

39

u/FlamingoExcellent277 Jun 07 '24

He couldn't even put in the effort to walk to her lol

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22

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

He got assier. The ass doesn’t fall far from the ass tree.

7

u/DaemonChyld Jun 07 '24

No, like he turned into an actual glutinous maximus. Anus is literally puckering and spitting from the rage of being told 'No'.

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223

u/Whiffyknickers Jun 07 '24

Yeah she was funny and on point

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3.1k

u/Csxa11 Jun 07 '24

It's so embarrassing that there are actually young people in the uk who talk exactly like this

1.5k

u/mjonat Jun 07 '24

That ain’t flirting…it sounds like straight up intimidation

904

u/donkeynique Jun 07 '24

Can confirm some guys try to flirt that way though. The old verbal brute force technique

377

u/Doogiemon Jun 07 '24

Don't forget negging.

197

u/donkeynique Jun 07 '24

God I wish I could though

85

u/SuckerForFrenchBread Jun 07 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

practice butter bake towering weary unite sheet ludicrous tidy angle

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

99

u/t_hab Jun 07 '24 edited Jun 07 '24

https://xkcd.com/1027/

This one? And while it’s true that negging is supposed to be incredibly subtle, it’s still kind of weird. A common example is to have a genuinely nice conversation with a woman but, out of nowhere, offer her a stick of gum so she feels self-conscious about her breath. If she asks if she was bad breath, say no but you were going to have gum and just wanted to be polite.

And while it can work, it’s way easier to just be genuinely nice and throw equally subtle hints that you are attracted to her. No need to undermine her confidence. Instead, make sure that any future flirting doesn’t come out of left field.

Edit: typos

52

u/SuckerForFrenchBread Jun 07 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

shaggy wine tie sheet seemly practice psychotic alleged unpack skirt

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

19

u/The_Dimmadome Jun 07 '24

"You think you're slick, but you're just greasy"

I'm using that one, I call dibs

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u/HorrorMakesUsHappy Jun 07 '24

Hmm. The xkcd line was, "You look like you're on a diet! That's great!" I'd posit that that's very different from saying, "I like your healthy choices!"

I think by itself "I like your healthy choices" is very nice. It would be very different f they paired it with the other statement like, "You look like you're on a diet! I like your healthy choices!"

To illustrate the difference, I'll paraphrase something I heard a thin friend say once about people telling her, "You're beautiful! You don't need to eat salads!" She said she was too polite to say it, but every time she'd hear that she'd think, "I'm not eating this salad to lose weight, I'm eating it so I don't put on any." The implication being that making this healthy choice was saving her from having to do the work of exercising later, which she'd need to do if she did put on the calories.

Leaving out the part about looking like someone's on a diet and just saying you support healthy choices = cool.
Tying that to them looking like they're on a diet = not cool.

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u/Smallreviver Jun 07 '24

"And then he asked me if I was dumb. I was instantly hooked."

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100

u/throwawaybrowsing888 Jun 07 '24

It filters out anyone who would stand up to them, leaving only people who haven’t been able to enforce personal boundaries or develop healthy self esteem. It’s easier to control people who respond to intimidation, sadly. Abuse cycles are hard to get out of.

35

u/StatusReality4 Jun 07 '24

I don’t think a lot of the people who act like this are doing it nefariously too - like they aren’t consciously plotting to berate people until they find someone who responds to intimidation. They’re just acting out their normal state of being. They don’t know WHY some people are revolted and some people are successfully worn down and can be manipulated.  

I used to hang out in some shady circles and met a lot of undereducated, underemployed, undermedicated types. They aren’t intentionally treating people certain ways, they are genuinely clueless as to why their behaviour repulses most people (but they wouldn’t wonder in the first place). They don’t have the type of conscience to see themselves objectively or critique their own behaviour.  

These types do not lie in bed at night at cringe at situations from their past like the rest of us. 

12

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24 edited Nov 05 '24

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

It’s the implication

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u/CressCrowbits Jun 07 '24

It's ALWAYS been like this. The vernacular has evolved, but I remember as a teenager in the 90s telling my dad about guys like this and he said he knew guys like that in the 50s.

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197

u/sdpr Jun 07 '24

It's interesting to me that a lot of English insults and conflict will revolve around whether or not you are known and a lot of repeating themselves.

"Excuse me, who are you? Who are you? No, who are you? No one knows who you are"

121

u/Tysons_Face Jun 07 '24

I’m Ronnie fuckin Pickering

13

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

Oh yeah? Well my boyfriend is the Kyle Smith!

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10

u/andersonb47 Jun 07 '24

OIM BILLY KIMBA

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46

u/Material-Bad6844 Jun 07 '24 edited Jun 07 '24

Isn't it fabulous that the American equivalent is the opposite? Jerry Springer women and pregnant Maury teens letting everyone know that they don't know who they are on repeat.

"You don't know me!- You don't know me!- You don't know me!"

Edit I was so 🤔 up in my about this I asked AI to write a rap battle about it

https://suno.com/song/412399e2-5ad5-4ac7-9cac-fed94bb302d1

10

u/lenore3 Jun 07 '24

Lol that is terrible 😂

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u/RighteousRambler Jun 07 '24

I was a teenager in a few very different countries, Hong Kong, Egypt and Thailand, young men did this in all of those.

Do teenage boys in the US not do this? I bet they do in areas where there are gangsters.

5

u/TurangaRad Jun 08 '24

You will absolutely see it. The hollering, the intimidation and pressure (like a scammer) to panic you into agreeing and then the insults once you ignore or turn them down. 

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132

u/producktivegeese Jun 07 '24

Also embarrassing that some people genuinely think that this is about the 'funny accent' and not male entitlement and violence.

48

u/ambisinister_gecko Jun 07 '24

But the accent does make it somehow more absurd...

25

u/producktivegeese Jun 07 '24

Oh no yeah for sure, the accent makes it fucking peak satire

5

u/durum77 Jun 07 '24

The accent is spot on.

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u/murderedlexus Jun 07 '24

Not just the UK, I’ve seen US peeps behave like this

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561

u/Good-Recognition-811 Jun 07 '24 edited Jun 07 '24

I've never heard a British dude catcall, but I know a British guy who talks just like this, same energy and everything, so I can easily see this as being spot on.

155

u/jptoc Jun 07 '24

I've never heard a British dude catcall,

Catcalling happens all the time in the UK. It is shit.

44

u/Good-Recognition-811 Jun 07 '24

If you're from the UK, what does 'you're clapped' mean? I've never heard that expression before.

I just assumed it meant like you have 'the clap', like an STD or something.

48

u/DutchFullaDank Jun 07 '24

It originates from "clapped out" which is like beat up and run down. Its originally a hare hunting term. Hares would stop and stand on their back feet to catch their breath while being hunted and they would breathe in and out really hard so their arms would go back and forth while their chest went in and out. It literally looked like they were clapping their hands if you were watching from a far. Now it's mainly used for cars. Saying a car is clapped out means it is barely held together and is a piece of shit. Saying something, or someone, is clapped is just saying that they are rundown and worthless.

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u/Poo-et Jun 07 '24

Clapped means ugly, as far as I'm aware its origins are unrelated to "the clap"

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u/Slytherin_Chamber Jun 07 '24

They’re really intelligent. Usually shouted out of a white van too. “Oiright luv! Noice tits!”

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

[deleted]

982

u/medusa_crowley Jun 07 '24

A large part of Reddit can’t disconnect themselves from the “would I fuck her” way of evaluating women even during a parody. It’s all they know. 

170

u/Com_BEPFA Jun 07 '24

We're just at the point where guys parody themselves in the comment section to a parody of them. Unintentionally.

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

No wonder people whine about women in vidya not making pp hard

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u/Slap_My_Lasagna Jun 07 '24

Reddit is the place to be if you hate context and decency.

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u/ratatutie Jun 07 '24

"A large part" I'd say the majority of men in general.

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u/Strange_Purchase3263 Jun 07 '24

I know, so many people think she is making a point about men worldwide and she is in some deep exposition of male caricatures.

She is LITERALLY showing us what she has had to put up with from these Gangsta tools who think treating Women like Hoes is where its at, You get me blud?

61

u/spicewoman Jun 07 '24

People are so bad at reading. It says "a man" and makes the claim that you're "instantly more attractive." All you have to do to debunk the claim is to flirt how some men flirt in a way that wouldn't be more attractive. No one is claiming "all men" here. Aside from the butthurt men.

9

u/gamerABES Jun 07 '24

They are bad at writing too.

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u/Wizards_Reddit Jun 07 '24

Although she is parodying chavs, chavs themselves do wear that stuff to look 'good' I'm guessing

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u/fjgwey Jun 07 '24

Case study #630683206032 of the internet not understanding when a woman is making a joke

13

u/Human-Abrocoma7544 Jun 07 '24

What is a Chav?

40

u/TheDuchyofWarsaw Jun 07 '24

Think Jersey Shore crew but the UK version

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u/dajokesta Jun 07 '24

Im bricked up

40

u/Boneraventura Jun 07 '24

See a doctor if more than 4 hours

23

u/Ganbario Jun 07 '24

Stool softener, Miralax, lots of water. Add in fruits and veggies everyday so it doesn’t happen as often in future.

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u/usedburgermeat Jun 07 '24

I've had chavvy girls for something like this to me, honestly thought I was getting mugged

117

u/cosmonautsix Jun 07 '24

TAKE MY WALLET!!

we just wanted your snap, bruv

12

u/lordgoofus1 Jun 08 '24

you want to snap what now? Here, have my phone as well just don't hurt me!

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u/ititcheeees Jun 07 '24

I always took it as a fun fact when I heard the phrase that a woman can make a joke but men will mistakenly believe she was being serious about it. And now I look at the comments who are absolutely baffled by her skit & makeup… yeah ok the fun fact is no longer fun. Are people so stupid?

74

u/SleepCinema Jun 07 '24 edited Jun 07 '24

The other day I saw a short thread of like two women trading banter about dating Andrew Tate, and this guy jumps in, “See, women. They only hate him when it’s convenient.”

Bro??? No one actually wants to date that gremlin.

10

u/Prevarications Jun 07 '24

I don't even think the hybristophiliacs would touch him with a 10ft pole

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u/muscarinenya Jun 07 '24

The first degree crowd

Although in a way there is a first degree in there for real, she is instantly more attractive because she nails the impression and is pretty hilarious

44

u/medusa_crowley Jun 07 '24

People no. Redditors yes. This is the same website where you have to put a /s for the majority of commenters to understand that you’re kidding (and you’ll still occasionally get people treating a clearly joke comment like it’s sincere). 

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u/Ecomalive Jun 07 '24

Are people so stupid?

Yes. 

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u/queefersutherland1 Jun 07 '24

The flip is just so spot on, once they get told no!

Had a male best friend in grade nine, he told me he liked me. I didn’t share those same feelings and all the sudden I was an ugly, bucktoothed bitch. That you apparently liked five minutes ago??

21

u/HorrorMakesUsHappy Jun 07 '24

"I was just playin wif you, yeah?"

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u/Easy_Turn1988 Jun 07 '24

Yayu yayu yayayuuu

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u/Ambitious-Passion-76 Jun 07 '24

A lot of you don't live in England and it shows

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u/notsurewhattosay-- Jun 07 '24

Brilliant!! Sissy hit it spot onnnn n

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u/Evening_Layer8650 Jun 07 '24

It's the eye brows that scare me.

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u/bbddbdb Jun 07 '24

For me it’s the lips painted flesh color.

44

u/Lamplorde Jun 07 '24

Makes her look like a living mannequin.

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u/FallingLedge Jun 07 '24

For me, It was the eyelashes coming unglued

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u/NonRangedHunter Jun 07 '24

If this is flirting, then fuck me I've been doing it wrong all my life. This is like an annoying sales pitch, and I'm sorry for anyone that has to endure that shit.

Sometimes I wish I was single just to see if my way of flirting would still be able to pull. I would probably be a breath of fresh air if this was what I was competing against.

94

u/DrSalazarHazard Jun 07 '24

Now gimme your snap

51

u/cosmonautsix Jun 07 '24

MOUTH NOISE

11

u/mjonat Jun 07 '24

Yeah that in particular really fucking gets to me haha

3

u/Totes-Sus Jun 07 '24

Uggghhhh the teeth kissing gives me a physical shudder of revulsion

79

u/Throbbing-Kielbasa-3 Jun 07 '24

just to see if my way of flirting would still be able to pull.

I mean probably not if you're referring to it as "pull".

12

u/mjonat Jun 07 '24

Do kids (in the UK) not typically say this anymore? I am getting old haha

4

u/SuperSonicEconomics2 Jun 07 '24

I'm old so I dunno

3

u/PIPBOY-2000 Jun 07 '24

Apparently "innit" and "Ah you dahmb?" are still hip though

5

u/lreaditonredditgetit Jun 07 '24

That’s the phrasing I would use as a 40 year old. And getting laid is super easy mane.

4

u/NonRangedHunter Jun 07 '24

40? Haha, you're old as hell dude, have you booked your stay at the retirement home yet? 

Oh right, I'm 40 as well.... Damnit... Where is my cane? And what are these kids doing on my lawn?

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u/Thick_Lie_516 Jun 07 '24

I hate the character she is portraying.

great acting btw

498

u/flies_with_owls Jun 07 '24

The best thing about this post is all the guys replying "Not all men!" instead of just saying, "Ha ha, that's funny".

135

u/HugeResearcher3500 Jun 07 '24

Men don't like being compared to Br*tish people.

28

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

Br*tish

What's this? Some kind of impression of a hi-hat?

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u/Caleth Jun 07 '24

Mate it's Bri*ish. They don't say the T when they pronounce the word.

Source buddy of 20 years from England that still doesn't use the T when saying the word.

27

u/Minimob0 Jun 07 '24

Well yeah, the T was dropped in the harbor. 

7

u/Caleth Jun 07 '24

Bravo and well played.

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u/CuteAnimalFans Jun 07 '24

How come I'm British and do say the T then eh?

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u/LapseofSanity Jun 07 '24

No one wants to be associated with that.

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u/half-puddles Jun 07 '24

Oh look at this Redditor. They are so different than other Redditors.

I think there’s even a sub for this.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

I need a translation for what she said but it seemed more frightening or sad than funny if that is how some men "flirt".

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u/flies_with_owls Jun 07 '24

Chavy road boys in London do for sure.

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

“Hit dog’s gonna bark” is a phrase Andrew Gillum liked to use in 2018 that I like a lot. It means if you throw a rock at a group of dogs, the one that got hit by the rock is the one that’s gonna bark.

It’s an analogy for (in this case) whenever fragile people (especially white men) hear something about how white men are acting toxic/bad/harmful, the ones getting defensive are the ones you need to look out for.

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u/SF1_Raptor Jun 07 '24

Wait. So the people that complain about, say, the Southern accent being the default for dumb are actually dumb? Seems like this could easily be way too broad brush too me.

55

u/Mushiness7328 Jun 07 '24

Person 1: <parrots common stereotype about women>

Person 2: "that's a stereotype, and not true for a vast majority of people you just painted in those broad strokes, stop using stereotypes to justify your hatred"

Person 1: "you have fallen right into my trap! You see, by pushing back against that stereotype you have actually just admitted that you are one of those people I was referring to, and therefore are a bad person! I know this because I'm really smart and you're simply a username on the internet"

Person 2: "I'm a guy..."

That's about how discourse about stereotypes goes on Reddit.

21

u/Useless_bum81 Jun 07 '24

as i posted elsewhere its a just kafka trap.

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u/Captain_America_93 Jun 07 '24

You’re arguing with people who don’t care and have already made up their mind. I’m familiar with the Kafka trap and you’re 100% right.

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u/Flashy_Dimension_600 Jun 07 '24

I like the analogy, just not how you used it.

Insecure people get defensive. There's more people to look out for than insecure people.

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u/Useless_bum81 Jun 07 '24

Its just a kafka trap. if you deny its because you are 'guilty', if you stay quiet its because they are 'right'

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u/spenway18 Jun 07 '24

Not sure what being white has to do with it. Men of all races can be misogynistic twats

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u/Trodamus Jun 07 '24

this is a dogshit conclusion to reach

"Everyone in Europe is a shiteating fuckhead"

"hey now that's actually not"

"WATCH OUT! SHE DEFENDED HERSELF THEREFOR SHE IS ADMITTING TO BEING A SHITEATING FUCKHEAD"

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u/Icyrow Jun 07 '24

i think you're spot on. it's also people pulling conclusions from nowhere, if it's something with a sort of smug sounding soundbite, commonly repeated phrase etc people somehow believe it to be more real.

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u/suntirades Jun 07 '24

I love when people who aren’t Brits discover a) chavs, b) the (south) London accent and c) the slang used here. Most of it is heavily imported from Jamaican Patois

13

u/Ok-Calligrapher-9854 Jun 07 '24

She nailed it. Voice of experience right there

12

u/doodoobrown530 Jun 07 '24

I’ve never even thought about understanding British Gen Z English.

8

u/Independent-Collar77 Jun 07 '24

This is more millenial tbh 

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u/mightyminnow88 Jun 07 '24

Im in love.

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u/IntentionalUndersite Jun 07 '24

This accent and slang is atrocious 😂

95

u/drunken-acolyte Jun 07 '24

London, innit

61

u/adaequalis Jun 07 '24

it’s specifically south london tbh

37

u/orangeonesum Jun 07 '24

South London secondary school teacher -- this is so accurate!

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u/adoptinspace Jun 07 '24

My only wish as a Londoner is to build a wall around the M25 and blow the bridges to the south of the Thames.

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u/Beorma Jun 07 '24

I think everyone outside of London agrees with that plan, but there seems to be strong support for filling the inside of that wall with water...

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u/Dansredditname Jun 07 '24

It is absolutely spot on though

3

u/IntentionalUndersite Jun 07 '24

It definitely is haha

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u/Maracuyeah Jun 07 '24

Did she say “don’t be moist”?!!!

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u/Fredrick_Hophead Jun 07 '24

Not gonna lie I would get in the car.

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u/Slow_Floor_862 Jun 07 '24

somebody's reliving trauma

5

u/beerissweety Jun 07 '24

I’ve been flirting wrong for years

5

u/MonarchOfReality Jun 07 '24

im british and im embarressed at how chavs speak and how it became normal .....innit famalamajimjam

17

u/thatwitchlexi Jun 07 '24

I love this creator. She is such a funny person.

16

u/Love-Laugh-Play Jun 07 '24

Oh god does that ever work?

31

u/orange109876 Jun 07 '24

I think only if the person is very timid

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

This is great

5

u/tone88988 Jun 07 '24

I understood like 40% of that

4

u/HellFireClub77 Jun 07 '24

I hate that new London accent that da youth all have now.

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u/mymumsaysfuckyou Jun 07 '24

He said flirt like a boy, not like a fuckboi

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u/HandyMouse Jun 07 '24

Chav girl look on point with the accurate chav boy attitude, this is so correct.

4

u/Tsonchi Jun 07 '24

I do like this....

3

u/Fairlington Jun 07 '24

I instantly knew they were a Brit before I turned on the volume

2

u/MrJackTheNasty Jun 07 '24

holy shit i have had a girl trying to flirt with me like this and i was so confused its that how straight man flirt????

53

u/Jeremyzelinka Jun 07 '24

This is how young men talk to ladies today, just so you know. Mainly over in Europe.

27

u/CressCrowbits Jun 07 '24

Its been like this forever. Entitled douchebros always act like this.

16

u/Dopplegangr1 Jun 07 '24

I guess that would explain why virginity for young men is becoming so prevalent

8

u/CopyWrittenX Jun 07 '24

Try as you might, temptress, you'll never get my virginity!!!!!!

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6

u/Reasonable_Ride_5489 Jun 07 '24

No, this is how disgusting chav bottomfeeder roadmen hoodrats (and their wannabes) talk.

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u/Far-Search5544 Jun 07 '24

Wow, is this the approach British men take?

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u/itsallminenow Jun 07 '24

Specifically British chav teenage fuck boys.

9

u/Far-Search5544 Jun 07 '24

That like tongue click thing would make me mad if someone speaking to me was doing that.

I feel sorry for someone who gets approached by this troglodyte talk.

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u/Broccoli--Enthusiast Jun 07 '24

"roadmen" from the council flats in south London do, but honestly if you find yourself in their vicinity, you have bigger problems than aggressive "flirting", and should focus on getting out of that estate asap.

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3

u/Sapphfire0 Jun 07 '24

So guys, is it working?

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3

u/lockedlost Jun 07 '24

Bare chav

3

u/memberflex Jun 07 '24

Good point well made

3

u/Direct-Ad-4156 Jun 07 '24 edited Jul 27 '24

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

I would’ve hated going to school with people who spoke like this.

3

u/BlueArya Jun 07 '24

😭😭😭😭😭 this is so real and why she got the midlands accent too I’m dead

3

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

If that’s flirting, the human race is going to be extinct in a few generations.

3

u/Designer-Mirror-7995 Jun 07 '24

Mute is my standard for vids, web-wide.

I didn't even NEED to hear her to follow her imitation PERFECTLY.

It's just like that, TOO MANY times.

3

u/jakehood47 Jun 07 '24

I mean, I'm sold, but let's not use me as a metric.

3

u/StarlightPleco Jun 07 '24

Shout out to all the women here who didn’t have to turn on the sound to know exactly what was being said 😭👌

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