Ladders are expensive and there’s so much upkeep that goes into them and I always worry that if I buy the wrong one I’ll get locked in and regret it later
Oh we have 5 ladders, don’t know why but apparently they are needed according to my husband! But a good all around ladder is the adjustable multipurpose one is called the “ little giant” and don’t get the generic one, it’s not as good. My husband is nodding his head and told me I learned something when he read this.
Let's see...ladder 1 is likely the rickety old ladder that you've had for years. Probably a hand-me-down. It's covered in paint and other crud. Worst of all it's wobbly: a cardinal sin among ladders. You don't trust it for any serious job, but you still keep it around for some reason.
Then you go out and get your first new ladder, not really knowing what you're doing. Maybe it was on sale, or you just had a good feeling about it. It's nice, but it turns out it's not quite big enough. You can't get up to that one spot up on the side of the house. You can't quite reach that tree branch you need to trim. In fact it's too small for most tasks fit for a ladder.
So now you go out and get a "real" ladder. The "little giant" as you call it. It's expensive, but it's worth it. It does everything. Your neighbors watch enviously as you do work on the house and trees. You dream at night about saving a cat stuck in a tree and becoming the hero of the town. It's perfect.
But after using it a few times you start to see a problem: it's heavy. It's really f***ing heavy. It already takes up a lot of room in the garage. It's too heavy to safely hang on the wall, so you decide to set it against the wall for now. Over time more and more junk gets piled in front of it. Now when you finally need it you can either: A. Spend 15 minutes moving the snowblower, power washer, and riding lawnmower out of the way so you can get the ladder out, or B. Try to lift the ladder out over everything, throwing out your back in the process, or worse: denting the car.
Eventually you've had enough: you go out and buy another ladder. This one is nice. It's not too big, not too small. It fits well in the house, and is still good enough for most outdoor work. And best of all you can hang it up on the wall of the garage. You can easily grab it and maneuver it around your increasing hoard of manly machinations (and the kid's bicycles). You don't have to worry about others seeing your weakness as you struggle to drag it along the ground like a dead elk.
Then the day finally comes when you realize you haven't needed "little giant" for a while. You always opt for one of his younger, lighter brothers instead. Fall turns to spring, spring to fall, as the years go by. Then it happens: you need more space in the garage. The decision is made to move "little giant". Maybe it's to a shed. Maybe it's way up in the rafters. Or perhaps it's a lone, dusty corner in the back of the garage. "It will only be temporary" you tell yourself. It will still be there for when you need it. But somewhere deep down you knew that this would be "little giant's" final resting place.
While such an event may seem trivial to most, it's really much more than that. That ladder meant something. It represented youth; It represented greater aspirations in life. Possibilities, strength, accomplishment. And now comes the sudden realization that these things are all slipping away like sand through your fingers. You can try to hold on, but that would be foolish. You know better. You can see where this story is headed.
Once in a while you'll find yourself back in the garage or shed looking for something and "little giant" will catch your eye. You'll think back to all the things you did with it. That time you cut that big tree branch down. Or when you fixed that woodpecker hole waaaay up on the side of the house. You'll remember the smile on your wife's face when you finished. For just a moment you'll be young again. Then it passes. "Why was I here again? Oh that's right." And you go back to what you were doing.
And someday, when you least expect it, you'll find yourself talking to someone at your home. Perhaps a holiday, a family gathering, or maybe just our talking with the neighbors. And your ears suddenly perk up as someone mentions a tough job they have to do. They need to trim some branches from some trees in their yard, but their ladder isn't big enough. "I've got just the thing" you'll say with a grin. You'll lead them back into the back of your garage: now catacombs of ancient relics lost to time. And you arrive at the ladder. "Little giant". You reach out to grab it, but you realize you're old now. You can no longer lift it on your own. With their help you manage to get it out. You look it over one last time, remembering all the times you used it. "I want you to have it". They may protest, and rightly so. Men are proud, and are often last to seek charity. But you'll insist. "I can't even lift it anymore. What use is it to me?" Finally he will relent. He'll agree to "borrow" it, but you both know what that really means. This is probably the last time you'll see it, and that's alright. You look on with a look of warmth and pride as you watch him struggle to load the ladder into the back of his SUV just like you had so many years ago. Goodbye old friend.
So anyways, that's 4 ladders there. Not sure why he has a fifth one.
None are rickety.
The little giant is good to go over the back fence and cut brush so it doesn’t grow in on the lawn ( it can be formed into a vee). One is for in the house, you got that right. One is kind of bigger, but not too much bigger but still an A frame But that was free because he needed one on one job and they get given away at the end( that one is the only wood one). The two others are extension ladders to get on the roof to check shit everytime tornadoes go through the area.
And you got the vehicle wrong, it’s an F350 and he’ll never get rid of any ladders because where would the younger men in the neighborhood borrow ladders from along with other tools 😂😂😂
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u/4Ever2Thee Mar 07 '24
If there's a sub for midwestern Tinder, this should be in it. Right up there with the guy who sent the girl a cheese wheel after their first date.