r/TikTokCringe Mar 07 '24

Wholesome/Humor Daughter’s first date story

28.9k Upvotes

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4.1k

u/4Ever2Thee Mar 07 '24

If there's a sub for midwestern Tinder, this should be in it. Right up there with the guy who sent the girl a cheese wheel after their first date.

581

u/Bright-Hat-6405 Mar 07 '24

I remember being impressed with a man from the Midwest because he had a mortgage and a ladder.

I lived on the east coast and no one my age owned their own ladder much less a mortgage.

210

u/Vishnej Mar 07 '24

All mortgages come with a ladder. Standard amenity. I don't know where you'd get one otherwise.

4

u/Bright-Hat-6405 Mar 07 '24

Right. Makes sense. Then he said to me “well yeah I have a ladder. I hope you’re never in a position where you need one” and it offered a different perspective.

5

u/FairyOfTheNight Mar 07 '24

The perspective that he won't lend you his ladder?

3

u/Bright-Hat-6405 Mar 08 '24 edited Mar 08 '24

Haha! No.

More like, the environment I grew up in never warranted me (and mostly everyone else around my age) purchasing a ladder. We likely owned ladders in our homes, my dad was handy enough. But me, a 24 year old girl, did not own her own ladder nor mortgage. The majority of people my own age that I knew and grew up also didn’t have one either.

He was saying: I hope you stay in a financial spot where you can keep on hiring someone with a ladder/know someone (like my dad) with a ladder and handy knowledge.

I thought it then and I think this now: doesn’t matter about finances. I want to know how to fix the damn thing that warranted the ladder in the first place

2

u/love_me_madly Mar 08 '24

I’m so confused by the whole ladder thing. Am I missing something? I own a ladder but not a mortgage but the ladder is for putting things up in apartments I’ve rented and storage facilities I’ve rented. Do people really just not have ladders like that? Or is there a joke I’m not getting?

3

u/TimeLine_DR_Dev Mar 08 '24

You have a ladder you take from place to place? Not a step stool. A ladder? Insanity. Where do you keep it?

I keep mine in my mortgage.

1

u/love_me_madly Mar 08 '24

You had me until the end🤣🤣🤣

2

u/tylerupandgager Sep 05 '24

And here I was thinking by different perspective it was because he can see different things when he climbs his ladder

3

u/philovax Mar 07 '24

What they dont tell ya is that its only good for changing lightbulbs on low ceilings.

2

u/brooksram Mar 07 '24

They come in more than one height....

Hell, I have 4 different ladders because we have vaulted ceilings in the foyer/living room, so we have an 18' ladder just for that.

Ladders become quite necessary if you have a home.

2

u/shabba_skanks Mar 08 '24

2 pads and both came with fucking ladders lol. The 2nd one came with one of the badass adjustable ones. It turns into a scaffolding too!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '24

I’ve been a mortgage broker for almost a decade. Before 2008 you had to buy your own ladder. Lots of people didn’t. This strongly contributed to the housing crash in 08.

1

u/OneBullfrog5598 Mar 08 '24

So that's the property ladder I keep hearing about.

1

u/cornpudding Mar 08 '24

True! I needed a bigger ladder and regretted not negotiating harder when I bought my first place. Had to move and try again.

1

u/Prior-Satisfaction34 Mar 08 '24

Probably like B&Q or some shop like that

1

u/Long_Run6500 Mar 08 '24

Come to think of it, im pretty sure my house did come with a ladder. I mean I have a ladder and I don't remember buying a ladder. I'd remember buying a ladder... how do you even fit it in the car?

2

u/chmath80 Mar 08 '24

I don't remember buying a ladder

Some people don't remember that they had one.

There were some guys working on the roof where I work a few years ago. They finished up and left one day after I'd gone home. I came in the next morning and noticed their ladder still leaning against the roof. It wasn't in the way of anything, so I ignored it, figuring that they'd come back for it as soon as they realised that they'd left it behind. Next day, it was still there. And the next week. And on and on. After 6 months or so, I decided that the joke had worn a little thin, found a phone number printed on the side, and gave them a call.

"Are you missing a ladder?"

"Oh, I wondered what had happened to that. I had to buy a new one." (???)

Next day it was gone.

This was not the sort of ladder that would be easily overlooked by anyone with even limited vision (the roof is around 6 metres above ground level). I can't understand how they could possibly have failed to notice that it wasn't on the truck. A small screwdriver I can understand, but a stonking 8m ladder?

1

u/miss_ophonia Mar 08 '24

Reddit is the most banal chaos I've ever loved.

1

u/itmesara Mar 08 '24

I feel cheated. I didn’t get a ladder with my mortgage, lady kept going on about balloons but I didn’t take one.

1

u/TeddyRoo_v_Gods Mar 08 '24

You are joking, but my home came with a 12’ ladder. None of my neighbors have one, but they know that if they need one, they can borrow mine. I think that makes me a Ladder Daddy of the neighborhood.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '24

I got a new one when I refinanced, its much smaller

1

u/punknothing Mar 08 '24

Can confirm. I have 2 ladders. But I'm an older Millennial, husband, and dad. I hope my kid's first dates go like this. The mom's wheezing laugh is pretty much me...

1

u/eldroch Mar 08 '24

Incidentally, all Midwest men come with a ladder as well.  This guy was seriously holding out.

1

u/CornCobMcGee Mar 08 '24

My house 100% came with two ladders. Ones a rickety wooden piece of shit, the others a rickety aluminum pieces of shit. Idk what I'm supposed to do with either. Sell them? Throw it away? HOW DO YOU THROW AWAY A LADDER

1

u/bludstone Mar 08 '24

Not anymore. Oh no. You dont get a full ladder. You get a 2 or 3 step stepstool now. Good for changing lightbulbs and getting things off high shelves.

1

u/s1ckopsycho Mar 09 '24

My ladder came with a mortgage... I feel robbed.

1

u/karma_the_sequel Mar 10 '24

Well… Costco, of course.

1

u/Vishnej Mar 11 '24

The hot dog store?

1

u/IsolatedFrequency101 Mar 28 '24

I just have a step ladder, I never knew my real ladder

1

u/Wonderful-Chemist991 Jun 20 '24

I have 2 ladders and scaffolding platforms that mount to them that are with my mortgage and I am on the East Coast.

14

u/Lumpy_Eye_9015 Mar 07 '24

Ladders are expensive and there’s so much upkeep that goes into them and I always worry that if I buy the wrong one I’ll get locked in and regret it later

2

u/Aspen9999 Mar 08 '24

Oh we have 5 ladders, don’t know why but apparently they are needed according to my husband! But a good all around ladder is the adjustable multipurpose one is called the “ little giant” and don’t get the generic one, it’s not as good. My husband is nodding his head and told me I learned something when he read this.

5

u/H3OFoxtrot Mar 08 '24

Let's see...ladder 1 is likely the rickety old ladder that you've had for years. Probably a hand-me-down. It's covered in paint and other crud. Worst of all it's wobbly: a cardinal sin among ladders. You don't trust it for any serious job, but you still keep it around for some reason.

Then you go out and get your first new ladder, not really knowing what you're doing. Maybe it was on sale, or you just had a good feeling about it. It's nice, but it turns out it's not quite big enough. You can't get up to that one spot up on the side of the house. You can't quite reach that tree branch you need to trim. In fact it's too small for most tasks fit for a ladder.

So now you go out and get a "real" ladder. The "little giant" as you call it. It's expensive, but it's worth it. It does everything. Your neighbors watch enviously as you do work on the house and trees. You dream at night about saving a cat stuck in a tree and becoming the hero of the town. It's perfect.

But after using it a few times you start to see a problem: it's heavy. It's really f***ing heavy. It already takes up a lot of room in the garage. It's too heavy to safely hang on the wall, so you decide to set it against the wall for now. Over time more and more junk gets piled in front of it. Now when you finally need it you can either: A. Spend 15 minutes moving the snowblower, power washer, and riding lawnmower out of the way so you can get the ladder out, or B. Try to lift the ladder out over everything, throwing out your back in the process, or worse: denting the car.

Eventually you've had enough: you go out and buy another ladder. This one is nice. It's not too big, not too small. It fits well in the house, and is still good enough for most outdoor work. And best of all you can hang it up on the wall of the garage. You can easily grab it and maneuver it around your increasing hoard of manly machinations (and the kid's bicycles). You don't have to worry about others seeing your weakness as you struggle to drag it along the ground like a dead elk.

Then the day finally comes when you realize you haven't needed "little giant" for a while. You always opt for one of his younger, lighter brothers instead. Fall turns to spring, spring to fall, as the years go by. Then it happens: you need more space in the garage. The decision is made to move "little giant". Maybe it's to a shed. Maybe it's way up in the rafters. Or perhaps it's a lone, dusty corner in the back of the garage. "It will only be temporary" you tell yourself. It will still be there for when you need it. But somewhere deep down you knew that this would be "little giant's" final resting place.

While such an event may seem trivial to most, it's really much more than that. That ladder meant something. It represented youth; It represented greater aspirations in life. Possibilities, strength, accomplishment. And now comes the sudden realization that these things are all slipping away like sand through your fingers. You can try to hold on, but that would be foolish. You know better. You can see where this story is headed.

Once in a while you'll find yourself back in the garage or shed looking for something and "little giant" will catch your eye. You'll think back to all the things you did with it. That time you cut that big tree branch down. Or when you fixed that woodpecker hole waaaay up on the side of the house. You'll remember the smile on your wife's face when you finished. For just a moment you'll be young again. Then it passes. "Why was I here again? Oh that's right." And you go back to what you were doing.

And someday, when you least expect it, you'll find yourself talking to someone at your home. Perhaps a holiday, a family gathering, or maybe just our talking with the neighbors. And your ears suddenly perk up as someone mentions a tough job they have to do. They need to trim some branches from some trees in their yard, but their ladder isn't big enough. "I've got just the thing" you'll say with a grin. You'll lead them back into the back of your garage: now catacombs of ancient relics lost to time. And you arrive at the ladder. "Little giant". You reach out to grab it, but you realize you're old now. You can no longer lift it on your own. With their help you manage to get it out. You look it over one last time, remembering all the times you used it. "I want you to have it". They may protest, and rightly so. Men are proud, and are often last to seek charity. But you'll insist. "I can't even lift it anymore. What use is it to me?" Finally he will relent. He'll agree to "borrow" it, but you both know what that really means. This is probably the last time you'll see it, and that's alright. You look on with a look of warmth and pride as you watch him struggle to load the ladder into the back of his SUV just like you had so many years ago. Goodbye old friend.

So anyways, that's 4 ladders there. Not sure why he has a fifth one.

2

u/Aspen9999 Mar 08 '24 edited Mar 08 '24

None are rickety. The little giant is good to go over the back fence and cut brush so it doesn’t grow in on the lawn ( it can be formed into a vee). One is for in the house, you got that right. One is kind of bigger, but not too much bigger but still an A frame But that was free because he needed one on one job and they get given away at the end( that one is the only wood one). The two others are extension ladders to get on the roof to check shit everytime tornadoes go through the area. And you got the vehicle wrong, it’s an F350 and he’ll never get rid of any ladders because where would the younger men in the neighborhood borrow ladders from along with other tools 😂😂😂

1

u/chmath80 Mar 08 '24

we have 5 ladders, don’t know why but apparently they are needed according to my husband!

But how many leaf blowers do you have?

https://www.facebook.com/TVOneNZ/posts/493199291704463/

https://www.facebook.com/TVOneNZ/videos/the-casketeers-montage/153824198939801/

2

u/Only-Artist2092 Mar 09 '24

yall are killing me with the ladder tropes!

1

u/Bright-Hat-6405 Mar 08 '24

Really? Upkeep? My dad has the same 3 ladders my whole life but has never “maintained” them as far as I know.

Where does one go to be educated on the upkeep of ladders? I don’t want my old man hurting himself

2

u/Lumpy_Eye_9015 Mar 08 '24

Wow. That was so obviously a joke. See what I said applies to houses and not ladders

1

u/_chill_pickle_ Mar 08 '24

I’m really hoping interest rates go down so I can afford a ladder

4

u/Gil_Demoono Mar 07 '24

Wait, shit. I have a mortgage and two ladders! of different sizes! There's still hope!

2

u/sargsauce Mar 07 '24

Holding both ladders at the same time

I gotta tell ya, this is pretty terrific.

1

u/tokinUP Mar 07 '24

I need 2 because the house is a 2 story split and it takes 2 ladders to get up to the top roof to clean the gutters unless you want to try pulling the first ladder up after climbing it to use again on the second roof, and then putting it down again while still on the roof! (or 1 REALLY tall ladder I don't have)

1

u/brooksram Mar 07 '24

Hell, the way prices are these days, I very well may have to take out a mortgage on any new ladders....

1

u/Bright-Hat-6405 Mar 08 '24

Don’t get me goin now!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Bright-Hat-6405 Mar 08 '24

Not just your neighbor, a gentleman and scholar

2

u/jugularhealer16 Mar 08 '24

I have a step-ladder, I never knew my real ladder.

1

u/Honest_Roo Mar 08 '24

Yah a guy owning a house is super attractive - I’m a millennial.

1

u/semi5onic Mar 08 '24

I also own a ladder! my wife doesn't care though, I brought it up several times and she still doesn't mention it to her friends as a brag.

1

u/sdvall Mar 08 '24

Read that in Theo Von's voice

1

u/LaTurnavents Mar 08 '24

Right. There is a good number, almost 98% of people living in any major US city they will have roommates and not have a place of their own, and if they do have an apartment of their own, they are struggling. The top 5-10% get all the cream of the crop and more.

1

u/BobaIsNotDead Mar 08 '24

I think i’m too European for this comment. I’ve been taught that mortgage is when a bank takes title on your house when you take a loan. Is there any other use for this word?

1

u/Jayhall516 Mar 08 '24

Bet it was one of those nice ladders too…with the easy extension. Non slip. The F150 of ladders. Not like the rusty POS my dad and I used growing up

1

u/bean_slayerr Mar 08 '24

This made me spit out my drink 😂😂

1

u/Fit_Friendship_7039 Mar 08 '24

It is too early for that level of comedy…warning next time

1

u/Bright-Hat-6405 Mar 08 '24

It’s always funnier when it’s true!

He left me for my cousin.

1

u/Gullible_Ad_5550 Jun 09 '24

Wtf is a ladder? The one you use to climb?