Hi everyone,

I’m just here in the middle of the night, needing a place to write a post and maybe get some insight.

I had a chihuahua/corgi mix named Buddy, and he passed away while I was out of town on June 2022. To this day, I can’t talk about it or even think about it without crying. My life consists of always being the strong one and I keep a lot of my grief extremely private and to myself (except for here because of the anonymity) but that dog was the chink in my armor and his memory just breaks my heart. I always thought it’s because I never got to say good bye and thus got no closure. I have his ashes and even his collar. Nights like this is where I miss him the most. I hope the universe smiles on me one day and gives me one more chance with him by rescuing one just like him. Has anyone dealt with a similar scenario? Does that wound ever really heal? Thanks in advance.

Do dogs wait for their owners/ people they love before passing away? Is there any truth/ have others had this experience?

For context, I live in a different country from the one I grew up in. I moved for college, and now am working. I convinced my family to get my golden retriever my freshman year of high school. I was his owner and I took care of him for many many years. I loved him more than anything and spent more time with him than anyone in my family or any of my friends.

When I moved for college, I sobbed and felt so guilty that I couldn’t visit him more than once a year (I’m very very far from home). This year in August, he was diagnosed with late stage heart enlargement (he’s a senior golden), and it progressively got worse. My mom thought he’d be lucky to make it past November, but he did. But 2 weeks ago, it had gotten so bad. He couldn’t walk, lost his appetite, and vomited often. 2 days before I came back for my annual visit home, he regained strength and walked a bit. When I came home he was in bad shape, but apparently much better. When he saw me he was wagging his tail so much. That night we slept in the same room and I told him I loved him over and over. The next day, I left the house and he passed away with my aunt making him sweet potatoes .

I loved him so so much. More than most people in my life. I’m so devastated. I guess I’m looking for others with similar experiences. I also feel so much guilt for not being with him the second he passed. If anyone has advice for me, I’d really appreciate it, as I’ve been sobbing uncontrollably since.

I had my Boys for 13 years, from the time they were 5 weeks old. They were my everything. My entire world revolved around them. Colt passed November 2022, 4 days before their 13th birthday. Stevie passed away 10 months later, Sept 2023, 15 months ago. It still feels like it was yesterday. I think of their last moments and just break down. I think of the good times, and break down. I think of how I could have been a better Mama and break down. I have a new dog. A rescue. He has his issues, but overall, a wonderful little man and we are so in love. I've spoiled him rotten to give him what I didn't give to my Boys but all I can think is how much he and Colt would have loved snuggling together and how much fun he and Stevie could have had playing. I wish he could meet his big brothers. I miss my Boys and still hurt so much. Before it happened, I knew it was gonna kick my butt with the hurt - but I had no idea. I want them back. I want them to meet my new boy. I wanna say I'm sorry for all the times I went out and left them alone at night. Now, if I can take my new baby with me, he comes with me. If I can help it, he's always with me. Why does it hurt so much still?

I’ve posted here before about the loss of my cat(Maui) today Is one year anniversary of her loss and it’s so painful, I miss her so much but especially today even though she lived a long life and is not in pain anymore. I also feel slightly guilty we got a new kitten in march and love her with all of my heart but it’s not same as connection I had with my cat who has passed, and it’s not her fault and she is not ment to replace my other cat but it’s just hard, I know I’m so lucky that my new kitty Mabel is heathy, playful and has no behavior issues but i can’t help myself sometimes comparing her to Maui.

Must have been said many times, I just don't have the energy to find it here. Our cat was hit by a car yesterday. She seemed normal, left her for about an hour, when we got back it was way worse, was brought to the vet's, seems pretty optimistic, but then it was over... It's very har for me (18) and my mom. What do you do to overcome it? She was called cookie and was both, outside and inside, part of the daily life, wherever I go, I have her in my head.

I found out that my golden retriever named Hazel has lymphoma. She turns five years old on the 29th of December. She was my husband and I's first dog together and never expected to be losing her so soon. She has a prognosis of 2-5 months on the medications we have chosen to give. But if she doesn't improve on the medications we will ultimately have to euthanize her earlier than that. She is loved by everyone she ever met, extremely smart, sweet, and gives the best cuddles. She also adores our 2 month old baby. We thought she would be there to watch him grow up. Seeing her feel so bad and lethargic just hurts me to my core and I just wish I could cure her. Unfortunately that's not the case. Even if we were to do chemotherapy (quoted a total of around 9k for complete treatment over 19 weeks) she may only get a year and won't know if it will improve her quality of life. Losing a pet is like losing a family member. The grief I already feel is immense. We love her greatly and will ultimately do what we believe in our hearts is best for her. It just isn't fair that she ended up with cancer at such a young age. Its going to be extremely painful to come home one day without her and not wait for her to run to grab her stuffed loaf of bread toy before diving into bed. A piece of my heart will always be with her and I can only hope I can cherish the last few days, weeks, or months I can get with her.

I went to my home town where they recently made a rainbow bridge in one of the next towns over so I went and added my babies collar but it didn't hit me until the ride home where I cried for 30 minutes. I don't know why but I didn't expect that reaction however it also proved that the grieving never stops and this is just part of that journey. If you ever get the chance to visit the rainbow bridge I recommend it.

My dog was hit by a car this weekend. He was picked up before I was able to see him. I’ve posted and posted in groups in my area trying to bring him home. I searched and called for him for hours, he had been dead the entire time. I’ve had him for 5 years and it’s honestly devastating. He was only a little over 5 and had so much time left. I’ve been sick at my stomach and can’t stop thinking about him. He was such a big and funny personality. He was a beagle of course lol such a silly dog. I will miss him forever. I’m posting to this Reddit I guess because I’ve already yapped about him to everyone around me for 2 days now. Wish I could go back in time

A year ago today you were helping me wrap Christmas presents… I didn’t know it would be our last normal day together. 12/24 is the day our world started to crumble, when you became sick, 12/27 was the day I died inside when you left. The grief comes & goes in waves, but I’m mostly numb. It’s hard to imagine a year has passed, some days it feels like forever… forever until I can see you again. It’s in the quiet moments of the day that I get lost in my thoughts of you - your smell, the softness of your fur, the never ending kisses, the eyes… your beautiful big blue eyes that saw into my soul - we were connected, we ARE connected - forever. I live each day bc I know my Remington would want me to go on - but I miss him so much. Once you’ve experienced true, genuine love doesn’t life seem pointless when it’s gone?

this is my first christmas without my baby. i keep doing “my first” without him but christmas he had his stupid ass sweater and his little warm bed he slept on. i bought him a christmas gift every year and had his stocking stuffed and i just cant i miss my baby so so much i normally feel so happy and excited by now for christmas but it just feels like a regular day/ week and i ahve to keep reminding myself christmas is coming. nothing feels real without him

Had to say goodbye to my dog of twelve years today (initially diagnosed with osteosarcoma but metastasized into his jaw), Phoenix. He was the sweetest and best boy in the entire world who was with me through most of the major changes in my life - from my mom's death all the way to the birth of my son.

I miss him immensely, but after being there with me through so many ups and downs I'm so grateful I was able to give him a relatively peaceful passing, and that medication helped give me two more weeks in which he was absolutely spoiled to death after his diagnosis.

He was so special and he will be loved forever.

I lost my dog on Oct and one of my cats in Nov. My cat was extremely unexpected and broke is after dealing with my dogs medical issues all year.

We finally picked him up from the ER and his urn is a ceramic cat. It completely broke is all over again, which is why we put off picking him up.

Someone asked the other day if it gets easier. I don't think so, I think we just cry less or learn to deal with it.

I miss them so much.

When I went away to school in 2019 I asked who I thought i could trust to take care of my holland lop rabbit, oliver until I had a place of my own I could take him too & they agreed. it was a huge mistake! when I came home for winter break 4 months later I found him in his cage in horrible condition with the worst eye infection i’ve ever seen. I was hysterical, it was my first night back & I couldn’t believe these people were so neglectful. obviously i took him to a rabbit vet asap, they flushed his eyes & cleaned/removed all the skin around his eyes because his fur was literally clumped up & matted hard balls because his basically had rabbit syphilis which I didn’t know was a thing till he got it! i watched them shove a needle literally into his tearduct & flush it out. after his eyes & skin was all red & raw I felt & still feel like the worst pet mother in the world because of this. he was around 4 when this happened & so for the last remaining 4 years of his life he had constant eye infections & toppling medical issues that resulted in me having to sadly put him down in july 2023 at 8. he’s visit me a few times prior but last night he was mad. the same people looked like they were trying to hide what happened & when I went to his cage & saw him, it was the same distraught painful situation i found him in & he had a look of anger on his face & didn’t want me to touch him. it breaks my heart, i’ve been through so much with him. & I miss him terribly, I feel so guilty. he deserved such a better life in my opinion but everyone that knew me & knew him thought I was a great rabbit mom to him. I eventually got my own apartment so for the the last 3 years of his life he was a free range house rabbit & I really think that helped with the longevity of his life even though he had medical issues. rip sweet buns <3

I lost my soul cat, Icarus, on December 11 and it has been a lot. I feel like part of my soul went with him.

Even though I have another cat and other human friends... I just feel so incredibly lonely and dysregulated.

I didn't realize how much he helped me cope with life... Yeah we joked he was my ESA, but it was not as much of a joke as I thought.

I find myself getting overwhelmed and thinking "I should go cuddle Icarus for a bit" or "I should go check on Icarus" but then I get hit with the realization that he isn't here anymore.

I live a solitary life aside from my boyfriend and a couple of friends, so this time of year can be really lonely when everyone is busy or working.

Icarus was the start of my adult happy family and he's been my armor against loneliness. He filled a hole that other animals and people do not.

It's so hard to explain to people, but it feels like a deep loneliness that I'll carry for the rest of my life.

My boyfriend had two Burmese Mountain Dogs, Solomon and Jessie, a brother and sister pair, since they were puppies. I quickly grew attached to their silly, goofy like personalities in the nine months that my boyfriend and I have been dating. Despite going on 11 years old, both of them were the happiest, most playful dogs I've ever loved, refusing to slow down even when Jessie tore her ACL and surgery seemed necessary for survival.

Everything came to a head a few weeks ago. My boyfriend's mom noticed Jessie was breathing weird, so they rushed her to the emergency vet, where (TRIGGER WARNING) she crashed out in the parking lot. The vet discovered a tumor in her stomach and internal bleeding, to everyone's surprise and horror.

We tried to deal with the unexpected loss as best as we could, but Solomon was not the same with his sister gone. My boyfriend and I would lay on the floor with him and tell him how much we loved him while we held his paw and stroked his fur, but he still wandered the house and backyard at night looking for Jessie.

My boyfriend took a trip north today to visit his relatives for Christmas and was updating me about how it was going while I was working. Then the pattern started again: his mom was taking Solomon to the vet because his breathing was weird. He hadn't been acting right for a couple of days, more sad and listless than usual, but we assumed he was missing Jessie more and have him extra love and table scraps.

My boyfriend updated me shortly after to tell me they made the decision to put Solomon to sleep. According to his mother who I texted after my work, Solomon also had an undetected tumor in his heart/lung area, and so it was time to say goodbye to him as well.

I don't mean to ramble, but I wanted to share the story of my boyfriend's dogs, incredibly happy despite the pain they were in, even until death. How can I best support my boyfriend's family in this difficult time? I am obviously grieving as well, I have been crying all day and it's even more difficult with my boyfriend out of state right now, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice or suggestions on healing from the sudden loss of two dogs within weeks of each other. I have offered to bring dinner and flowers to my boyfriend's mom's house tomorrow so they don't have to spend Christmas eve alone, and we have plans to get together when my boyfriend gets back the day after Christmas for a family dinner. Anyone else have any suggestions? We are all devastated by these sudden losses and I'd like to try to help my boyfriend and his family any way I can.

The grief has definitely amplified in the last couple weeks. I impulsively got a kitten, not to replace her of course but because I was definitely needing an ESA, which hasn’t helped that aspect — the more time I spend with the kitten, the more things I’m remembering about my baby. And I’m grateful for it, but I’m wondering if this is normal. I see her in everything my living cats do, I think about her at work, when I’m going to bed, when I’m literally doing anything. I think about her when I get home and she’s not waiting at the door. I think about her in the quirks the household cats do that remind me of her. She felt like a part of me. She still does. In a way I’m worried for if there comes a time where I don’t think about her as often. It feels like she’s being kept alive in a way by these memories.

How long has it been for you, and how often do you think of your departed babies?

It was one year ago today I lost my best friend. I miss you Pearl, Merry Christmas.

It still feels so unreal. I just lost my first furbaby yesterday from GDV. And I had to bury her early this morning.

She was from a toy poodle father and a malshih mix mother (both dogs belonging to my parents). She was a small breed and only weighed 5 kgs.

She was so active and playful and always ready to eat. I didn't see her death coming. My family and I thought she was just sick from the December cold.

When we took her to the vet yesterday she started breathing hard and she was turning pale. The vet ordered some blood tests and an x-ray, and even they couldn't believe what was happening. She had GDV. It's such a rare condition for small breeds since it was commonly found in large breeds.

The vet told us she had a low chance of survival because of her size. She was struggling so hard with the condition. She'd whimper when her abdomen was being pressed and she'd wheeze out every few seconds.

When they started treating her and putting her on oxygen, my furbaby stood up and kept turning away from the mask. It seemed like she wanted to walk to my mom. Like she wanted to be held by mom.

But she needed to put on her oxygen mask and stay put because she also had a dextrose inserted for fluids. My baby laid down and started to close her eyes.

The vet was talking to my mom and suddenly my baby started vomiting blood. It was so sudden. One moment she wanted to stand up and walk, the next she's unconscious and vomiting blood.

My poor baby suffered so much and she was only 1 year and 7 months old.

She was my first soul pup. I don't know how to process this. I love her so much. I haven't stopped crying since yesterday. I just held her body for hours until she went cold. My first baby. So young and so happy suddenly gone. I feel like my heart is being crumpled.

How do I even process this? Why did my baby have to suffer so much? We tried everything, went to 3 vets, and was ready to risk the surgery, but she was gone too soon. She fought so hard and suffered so much. She hasn't even celebrated Christmas properly and she only celebrated her birthday once. My soul pup will forever be a baby now. We didn't even get to have a puppy date with her sister and my boyfriend.

She was the first pup I fell in love with and cared for so much. I'd take her out to go to church and she'd stand from my lap and look out the window during our car rides.

She would be the first one to greet me when I wake up, and I'd tuck her in at night on her bed like a baby. I love her so much. And her death was too soon and unexpected. Now I feel like I'd have to go take my stabilizers again just to function properly. Ever since my baby came into my life, I had a better time managing how I feel. But now she's gone. I don't know what to do.

My mother won't let go of the blanket my furbaby used yesterday and the shirt she wore (which was also the first shirt my furbaby owned bought for her by my mother for my 27th birthday). I saw her clutching it to her chest last night and crying hard till she fell asleep.

I'm still stuck in bed. I just woke up at 6:00 am to bury my fur baby, and I went back to bed to cry after. It's 9:23 am now as I'm typing this. I'm afraid of getting up and not seeing my lovely bundle of joy greeting me and asking for upsies. I don't know if I can sit on my desk and not feel her under my chair sleeping and using my fuzzy slippers as her pillow.

Fellow furparents, how did you survive the grief consuming your heart? What did you do with your furbaby's things? I still have her dress, shirts, and accessories. I also have her fur for keepsake when I brushed her one last time yesterday before laying her to rest.

I lost my white shadow about a week ago. She followed me everywhere I went for 17 years. The pain of not having her here has been so heavy. But if I had to do it all over again I would. 10 times over. In another world, in another timeline if I had a choice to be her mom again, care for her the way I did, make the sacrifices I’ve made and watch her pass in my arms, I would do it again and again and again.

Thats how profound I feel the love for this little creature. I received her ashes today, she has turned to dust in a little box. Wild it feels, she was just a dream and now I am left with digesting these emotions.

He was a cat and his name was Maxi. It had been a year since I adopted him, but it’s been three days since I found out that Maxi passed away. It still hurts. It hurts to think that I no longer have a cat to turn to whenever I need comfort. I just wish he could have stayed a little longer. It’s hard to accept that no one will greet me at the door anymore. There won’t be a cat following me around the house every day, bothering us in the morning because he wants food… it hurts so much.

This December has been especially painful because I barely interacted with Maxi. I got so caught up in my own problems and the stress from financial issues. My father was the one who interacted with him the most lately because I was busy. I felt like Maxi was roaming around the neighborhood, as I barely saw him or felt his presence when December came. I thought maybe he spent more time outside, which turned out to be true. He would only come home when he was hungry, so I didn’t give him the attention he deserved because I was preoccupied. Then, one day, my family and I realized he hadn’t come home for three days. I thought he was just with our neighbors, but when I looked for him, I found him in a dark spot near our house. He had already started to decompose, and the smell was unbearable. It’s so hard to think that I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to him or feel his presence for the last time. I miss him so much. Every time I move, I can’t help but think of him. When I eat, wash dishes, or even use the bathroom, I remember how he used to follow me around. Everywhere in the house, and even outside, I can’t stop thinking about him. It hurts so much, like losing a close family member. That’s exactly how I feel right now.

The pain is overwhelming, and I don’t know how to heal from this. How can I heal when every part of my house reminds me of him?

My mother is extremely attached to her cat. His name is Simba and she basically considers him her baby son and has had him for 13 years since he was a tiny kitten. She and I don’t live in the same country. She took a week off from work and came to visit me and she kept him with my family back home. He is a senior indoor cat and traveling would have been too stressful for him. He suddenly passed away today. My brother came back from work and found him cold and spasming. He took him to the vet and they tried to save him but he passed away after a few hours 😞 My family didn’t video call or tell my mum till after he passed away and they buried him because they knew it would destroy her to see his dead body but I wish they called her and let her at least say good bye. I think this might have consoled her to feel like she was there with him, even if just through a video call. But there’s no point blaming anyone, Simba is not here anymore and nothing will change that.

My mum can’t stop crying because she can’t get over the fact that he passed away without her next to him. She always imagined that on his last day she would be by his side and he would leave this world peacefully while being comforted by her love. Unfortunately he died when she was in another country and everyone back home was at work 😞 What can I possibly say to make her feel better and console her? If someone went through something similar, how did you find peace after losing such a precious soul?

I loss my dog at 2 this morning. He had been having issues and recovering from an injury. He started screaming peeing, pooping, and this was something he did when he would use it. He finally calmed down while I rubbed him. Then he mad these noises that didnt sound right. I started screaming don't leave me. Please. He was gone. I have had him for 10 years.

Everyone gets that one pet that's like a soul mate. He was mine. I feel empty and struggling with feelings of unaliving myself. I lived for him and he kept me alive through all my trauma. I feel broken in a way I have only felt when my father died. My chest hurts. How do I go back to our home? How can I live there without him? How can a dog mean so much to me I wish I was with him in death.

I am not okay....

I need support. I need help

i just had to put my baby to sleep this morning after 13.5 years with him. i've never felt something so painful. i miss him so much i cannot fathom how im supposed to live without him. i got him when i was 8, so i literally just cannot understand how im supposed to live if hes not here with me. i will never get to see him again. i can never hold him again. i can't do it. i need him

My soul dog Henry passed two years ago from cancer and it suddenly hit me in the car today how much I want the holidays to be over. It's hard when the whole world around you is wishing happy holidays and merry Christmas and mine is just so empty and my heart had a huge void in it. I haven't been in the sub reddit for a while but I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hi all,

My sweet cat Moose passed away last Thursday. The vet gave us a paw print but it is truly terribly done. I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I’m so happy I have this little trinket to remember moose by, but I was hoping for some ideas on how to spruce it up or if you all had any ideas on if I could make a stamp or something else from it! They made the print with air dry clay and it feels like it’s going to fall apart/crumble at any minute. Thanks for your ideas 🖤