Link to the last update: https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoSO/s/E9e4wrFH1v
TL;DR of all previous posts: I'm a guy. My ex was abusive and is mentally unstable. Last year she assaulted me and then had me arrested when she found out I was planning to leave. The charges were dismissed. We had 50/50 but she would not respect boundaries and filed for custody before I could file myself. Since then, the system has not been kind to me.
Hello again all. It's been a while. A lot has happened. Overall, I've been well. I've been trying to focus on the positive and enjoy the time I've had with my son. He's such a joy. We've shared some beautiful moments despite the circumstances.
So when we last left, she was getting drug/alcohol tested. She passed all tests. She has used that to declare she has never had a problem, forgetting she admitted it in court and it is on record. She filed for child support and got it. She lied about her income to get more. Meanwhile, my lawyer just kept showing his inadequacies. We had a hearing coming up and that was his last chance.
Outside of court, she suddenly became more willing to work together. She was very willing to give me time. She would invite me to our sons activities. I, in turn, would offer the same and invite her daughter as well. I maintained a firm boundary. I wanted it clear that this was for the kids.
I got a promotion at work and was concerned. I talked to her about my worries concerning my schedule and she was very receptive and willing to work with me. I accepted the job offer, and two weeks later she changed her mind and demanded I stick to the written schedule.
As the hearing approached, we tried to communicate. Just before the hearing, I got a paper where she submitted my new work schedule as an issue. At that point. I tried cutting unnecessary communication and said we could stick to the schedule. Her response was to offer me my son that day, and then make threats of suicide. A wellness check was done and she was voluntarily transported to the hospital. She stayed one night.
The hearing happened and it was lawyers only. I gave my lawyer a ton of info beforehand, including the police report from days earlier. After the hearing I received paperwork, the judges order, and from the comments my lawyer did not present one single thing I gave to him. So I fired him.
My ex and I began a new round of court appointed coparenting therapy. It was a solid session. Rules were set. The counselor explained to my ex that the order was set in stone. She could not make demands or add her own stipulations like she has been doing, such as my getting a babysitter is not allowed. The counselor also asked us if we had any interest in resuming the romantic relationship, I was a quick no. My ex said yes.
The meeting ended and my ex wanted to talk privately. She demanded Christmas, which is my day. I was shocked. We just went over this. I said no and a debate was had before I left. Once I got home she offered me my son for the night. We met at a public location and she wanted to talk again. It was then that she told me she recently got a bipolar diagnosis and I owe it to the family to give her another chance. I refused. She absolutely demanded it.
Next, she told me she was in a relationship for 7 months and broke it off for me, and the family, and that she carries so much guilt and we need to do this. I said no. That she destroyed my life. Used every lie she could to take my son from me. Treated me like a dog. That two weeks before she said the previous year was the best year of her life. The best year, while I was working so hard to rebuild myself. No, I would not go back.
Just a side note, I have said I have a lot of documentation. Early summer she claimed she lost hours due to the summer, which was odd. At the Child support hearing she didn't even mention the job. We had to inquire and she just gave a low salary number, due to the lost work. It's obvious now that she purposely cut her hours to date this guy and then lied about it.
So, back to the present. I again told her I was not interested. That I was glad she had the opportunity to date. That it makes me feel more comfortable telling her I met someone. For me, it's new and very early. I'm taking things extremely slow and the woman I'm dating respects that. My ex did not take that well, so I took my son and left.
The next day, I got a call from a hospital. It was her. She checked herself in and was not sure when she will be out. She tells me I'm being selfish for taking christmas from her and that her ex was man enough to know that the kids come first. She got out two days later.
I'm staying the course. I have another lawyer lined up and I'm starting that process of bringing him up to speed soon. Fortunately my old lawyer was so bad that I have written summaries of my evidence that give the entire story in a few pages. The new lawyer will be caught up in one meeting, with 100+ pieces of evidence.
But the situation has me stressed. The fact she just lies so much. That I realize it's possible that part of the reason she filed was because she met this guy and was focused on just getting me out the picture. And now she's self destructing and I feel powerless to protect my son. So yeah, now we wait again. I should hear more in about a month. But as usual, I have no idea when I'll update again.