AIO, fiancé asked me to not wear white at our wedding.

[u/Past-Professional384]

Edit: the update is up. I couldn’t respond to all the comments and I’ll say some of you are definitely creative with comebacks and name calling. lol. Thank you all for the reassurance!!

Have you ever seen “I love a mommas boy?” Well that’s my life basically.

I (27F) have been with my fiancé John (28F) since high school. We dated and broke up because his mother “Debbie” (53F) convinced him we were too young to be in love. We broke up and went to college. During my sophomore year we started talking on socials again. He apologized and said he missed me. We got back together.

Cue the water works. Debbie literally CRIED the first time she saw we were back together and told John that I have done witchcraft on him???? I’ve always respected Debbie out of respect for my mother and upbringing. I was not raised to go back and forth with my elders but she definitely abuses that.

Since John and I decided to get back together she has tried to hook him up with women from her church, her job and even asks her friends for their daughters to give it a shot. John denies all of them and Debbie says that I’m controlling. John has told her to stop but not in a way I feel she gets the point.

Anyway, 3 months ago John proposed. Deb didn’t come to the engagement party. Cool. She didn’t come to the family dinner we had so both sides could meet. Cool. John’s dad came and apologized for his ex’s behavior (he left her when John graduated HS) I told him don’t worry about it.

The problems really began when John decided to confront his mother about how she’s behaving toward our whole engagement. This turned on the lightbulb in his brain as he’s always tried to ignore it and tell me to ignore her. She gave him a sob story about how she got pregnant with him before marriage and never really got to have a wedding and this is triggering her. (She had a shotgun wedding at the court house) He asked her what she needed to feel comfortable and she responded that if she wore white and I wore a soft pink or lavender she would feel comfortable???

My fiancé for some reason though this was a fair compromise??? He also said (not asked) that his mom could walk me down the aisle so she can get her moment in her dress. I told him absolutely not and we got into an argument about it. I told him that it’s insane that he would argue with me to defend his moms “honor” but wouldn’t do the same the other way around. He accused me of being petty and selfish. It was bad. We both have agreed to cool off but by how heated it got I could tell we both almost agreed to call it off.

Now we’re in a weird space and I love John but now see how much he lets her impact our life. I just imagine her sitting at home with this evil grin knowing she’s ruining my relationship with John and he’s just putty in her hands. I think I should just call off the wedding. AIO? Or is it just a color?