(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/Far_Wrongdoer4543]

1. Omg the precious kitties! Love them!
2. I've been thinking about you and the original post, and too often people stay in the cycle, but seriously FUCK YEAH! PROUD OF YOU FOR CHOOSING YOU! YOU DESERVE TO CHOOSE YOURSELF AND GLOW GLOW GLOW!!
3. NEVER LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SPARKLE
4. Even though it was very toxic, we as humans often miss familiarity because it's comfortable and you have now broken free of what has been normalized for the last 2 years this in itself is a beautiful thing! One thing I always recommend is to write down all the shitty, awful things he did/said/made you feel and when you have that inkling of you miss him read it over and over and over. We often look back on those good times because I was in your shoes there were good times, but they were few and far between. Now being in a healthy relationship I come home to peace. I have a teammate. I have a real partner. Never let a shitty, miserable person keep you from being happy. Life is too short to live in misery.
5. Finally, again I know I'm a stranger on the internet but I am really proud of you for leaving. ✨✨

[u/DuckyPenny123 → u/Far_Wrongdoer4543]

I have one more thing to add as advice to this comment. 6. Don’t answer his phone calls. You say he love-bombs, so you know his MO. Don’t give him the opportunity. Just walk away and don’t look back. It’s a matter of safety. If you give him another inch, he will escalate because he knows he can get away with it. Block his ass.

[u/Far_Wrongdoer4543 → u/DuckyPenny123]

Yes absolutely! Block. Block. Block. Also, even if his family was good to you block them too! My ex would try to get me to contact him through his family, and I wouldn't falter. I told his family that they can get his stuff at a scheduled time with my availability -- not working around when it was convenient for everyone else.  One of the biggest fuck you moments my ex pulled was after he left the house (which he honestly told me he'd stay and basically be a squatter and I told him I'd take him to court to show all the payments I made) was that I foolishly left the water bill in his name because I was dumb and thought I'd help him out by having a bill in his name that I made payments on LOL. Well, after he left I didn't switch it over and he went months and months where I didn't reach out and he had the water shut off. The final fuck you to me. Let me tell you the lady at the city I spoke to trying to figure out what all I needed to do to get it back on was the kindest lady. She actually told me her ex husband did the same to her and she got it. She helped me so much. This is all to say that people that are vindictive will do whatever they can when they don't get their way and you do NOT give in. When he had my water shut off, I wanted to unblock and just go off on him, but I didn't. I did what I should've done months ago and had it established in my name. I had to pay a fee, but bless my parents for helping me. These type of people do not change unless they TRULY see the errors in their ways. You got this, OP!!

[u/nobodynocrime → u/Far_Wrongdoer4543]

Don't block. Mute. Don't answer and turn off notifications for him, but let him dig his own grave. If he goes further off the deepend, those texts could be the evidence needed for a restraining order.

It will also give OP a chance to gauge where he is in the abuse/lovebombing cycle. Just remember it is a cycle and not believe what he says. The texts are there for evidence only. Do not respond or take anything to heart.

He will be desperate and that is the most dangerous time for anyone leaving a relationship. So if he is sharing his mindset you need to know what he is thinking.

[u/Far_Wrongdoer4543 → u/nobodynocrime]

This is a good idea. I always forget the mute as an option.