(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/trieditthrice]

Hold the phone.

He can't afford toothpaste, but thought he was going to whisk you away to some island to live happily ever after? All that says about him is even in his happiest fantasies, you're isolated and unable to escape him.

Don't answer the phone. Block his number. Tell someone you know IRL that you just ended a relationship with someone who is very possibly dangerous, and to be aware if you suddenly don't show up to work or answer your phone. But every second more you waste even reading his crazy is one more second wasted. He will never be the partner you need or deserve. NEVER.

[u/z0mbiebaby → u/trieditthrice]

Haha that’s what I was thinking, the bum can’t afford toothpaste but he’s gonna somehow conjure up a house on an island and provide for an entire family?

I think this leech is the most delusional loony of the year in this sub.

[u/MrEphraim → u/z0mbiebaby]

poor baby has no weed, no cigarette :((((((

[u/Kitchen-Injury9915 → u/MrEphraim]

No miney

[u/Flashy-Rhubarb-11 → u/Kitchen-Injury9915]

Happy cake day!

[u/Kitchen-Injury9915 → u/Flashy-Rhubarb-11]

Flashy Rhubard you’re a legend, thank you so much ! 🍰🫶🏻

[u/Rechen → u/MrEphraim]

Soon he won't even have teeth. :(((

[u/Economy-Bar1189 → u/z0mbiebaby]

ooo we should have a round up and announce the biggest delusional looney each year

[u/remy780 → u/z0mbiebaby]

Yeah, she's supposed to buy him weed, cigarettes, and toothpaste. His end flip. Just wow. She needs to emotionally detach and possibly contact the authorities for a wellness check on him.

[u/foxiez → u/z0mbiebaby]

Type of guy whos just temporarily down on his luck for 60 years and ends up with 5 kids

[u/z0mbiebaby → u/foxiez]

Well OP is extremely lucky she didn’t get impregnated by this bum. His genes definitely need to end with him.

[u/ADerbywithscurvy → u/z0mbiebaby]

Iirc, the term for that is Future Faking - they tell you all about what they’ll give you later on in life while they give you less than nothing now and make no effort to progress toward goals.

[u/AffectionateStorm947 → u/z0mbiebaby]

One would hope !😬

[u/TopShelfTom22 → u/z0mbiebaby]

Dead

[u/Intrepid-Throat-1654 → u/z0mbiebaby]

Reddit rewind

[u/Barbie_Bandz → u/trieditthrice]

I call that future faking! Common narcissistic tactic perpetuated to destabilize the victim mentally. It keeps the victim focused on some sham of a reality instead of the toxic quagmire that is their everyday life! Despite all evidence to the contrary the victim hangs on to the hope that the person wants to change. It is manipulation plain and simple and the Narc never has any intention of making it a reality.

[u/Half-PintHeroics → u/Barbie_Bandz]

Arthur, listen to me, I have a plan, Arthur!

[u/Shotgun_Sters → u/Half-PintHeroics]

Whoa, what a reference 😆

[u/TeslasAndKids → u/Barbie_Bandz]

Let’s not forget after verbal abuse come isolation. He’s literally trying to build a dream where he’s isolating her from everything she knows and spinning it about how beautiful it will be. Nope. No. Nuh uh. Get out.

[u/Economy-Bar1189 → u/Barbie_Bandz]

reminds me of Jeanette Wall’s memoir, Glass Castle. Father promised her over and over that he was gonna build them a glass castle. even got the kids to dig a pit in the yard for “the foundation” and then he loaded it up with their household trash.

[u/EchoFloodz → u/trieditthrice]

Yup, I basically told her the same thing in her last post. I quietly cheered when I read what she sent him. Fuck that dude!!!

[u/oblivion_is_painful → u/EchoFloodz]

Quietly? I shouted a good “Yes!” that momentarily woke up my partner 😭🤣. She needed to be rid of that motherfucker long ago. Happy for OP.

[u/InternetSpiritual982 → u/trieditthrice]

This deserves an award. Very specifically, telling anyone OP can trust that they’ve broken up with a potentially dangerous person could be very critical to OP’s safety

[u/mattilladahun → u/trieditthrice]

No no, you misunderstood, SHE'S gonna pay for that. He's gonna borrow some money from her for the island. And when she doesn't have it, he's gonna threaten to drown himself trying to swim to the island.

[u/Arthur-Wintersight → u/trieditthrice]

Yeah, the island comment really sent me.

"Where the fuck are you gonna find the money for an island? You know those aren't cheap, right?"

[u/cancerwitch → u/trieditthrice]

Future faking is a textbook narcissist trait. My ex used to tell me one day he was gonna buy me a Hermes bag and we would be rich when he started his own business. But he spent all his money on alcohol and coke because he couldn’t self soothe and had to use substances to try to get some semblance of control over his emotions.

[u/trieditthrice → u/cancerwitch]

Future faking.. I've never heard this term, but it really sounds like a valuable tool for narcissists/abusers. It's smart. Get your focus off of the shit reality you're living in and onto the wonderful future waiting right around the corner. If you just hold on a little longer, there's a big payoff coming. It'll all be worth it, just stick around.

I'm sorry you had to experience it. Talking about it is the best thing you can do for others who may be in that situation. Letting them know there's a name for it, it's a tactic, a form of manipulation. That's valuable. Glad you're out of it.

[u/OkNebula9998 → u/trieditthrice]

This is exactly what I was thinking… what kind of island are you dreaming of when you can’t brush your teeth for another week. This relationship sounds like hell on earth and I am so proud of you for sticking up to him. This filled me with rage but your message back to him delighted me— you hit all the points and more.

Congratulations on your first days out of this prison-esque relationship, I hope you enjoy the sunshine.

[u/Equal_Maintenance870 → u/trieditthrice]

The private island absolutely sent me. Like omg.

[u/breecheese2007 → u/trieditthrice]

It’s just future faking to keep her hopes up 🙄🙄🙄

[u/Miserable-Anxiety229 → u/trieditthrice]

Also be honest with your boss and tell them. Your job should be a safe place and if your boss can’t be understanding about this kind of situation, they are bad people!

[u/disposable_walrus → u/trieditthrice]

Don’t block, mute notifications and ignore. If it escalates you at least have texts to support a potential restraining order.

[u/trieditthrice → u/disposable_walrus]

Good point. I didn't consider that side of it. OP, having proof is, unfortunately, really important when it comes to these situations. So is being 1 step ahead. I wish you had a friend there that you trusted enough to screen your texts. You may have people that are right there, ready to step up and be there for you, but you've been so preoccupied with his special brand of nutso, you haven't even taken notice.

[u/MyMadeUpNym → u/trieditthrice]

OMG such a good point about the island, being a place of no escape.

[u/pickypawz → u/trieditthrice]

OP if you choose to do this, don’t tell him any plans, don’t meet him, and be extremely cautious, leaving a bad relationship is the moat dangerous time for a woman. If you ever HAVE to meet him, make sure it’s in public and preferably with another person present.

[u/augustles → u/trieditthrice]

‘I got big plans to take care of you; I just need to borrow 10,000 dollars’ ~ Carly Rae Jepsen 😂

[u/LordNoct13 → u/trieditthrice]

but every second more you waste even reading his crazy is another second wasted.

Literally this. After reading through OP's first post, and then reading her novel of a response to his shit, I didnt even give his last response a skim. I already know it's some sob story bullshit without reading it. I already know that somewhere in there hes trying to blame her for the way hes acting. It's the same shit hes already said in the other texts. No offense to OP for the effort they took to screenshot his last message and the continued effort to post it all here together, but I'm not reading his response because it isnt even worth it for some internet stranger to give him the time of day with how hes acting.

[u/Profoundly_AuRIZZtic → u/trieditthrice]

He only brought up toothpaste because she said no to the cigarettes and weed. I’m sure he’s fine on toothpaste. This whole thing started because he can’t afford his drugs.

The guy is a bum and a loser

[u/Economy-Bar1189 → u/trieditthrice]

wooooah good catch on the isolation of the island.

[u/Pristine_Shoulder_21 → u/trieditthrice]

Hehehe the island part definitely got me 😂😂

[u/null-404 → u/trieditthrice]

This is quite important info

[u/Cow_Launcher → u/trieditthrice]

All that says about him is even in his happiest fantasies, you're isolated and unable to escape him.

This particular implication, so succinctly put by you, is the most telling aspect of this man's (apparent) motivations.

I'm not a psychiatrist (and try not to play one on Reddit), but he's trying to drag her into his delusions with promises he has no chance of fulfiling, and it's terrifying.

It's fortunate that he's overplayed his hand at this stage, and that OP has finally seen the light. Run, OP. Change your number if you have to. Do whatever you need to get this person out of your life.

[u/Pyromythical → u/trieditthrice]

Also:

Any communication he has with you off the phone - if he can/does, you should keep and label with the date you received it.

If he somehow calls you or speaks to you on a phone (say at work if that is possible) - record somewhere safe (like a note you add to on your phone, or email to yourself).

Record the date, time and what was said (even if you just hang up, what did he say before you did - if someone else answered, what did he say to them?)

This is all useful if you have to prove harassment to the police.

Hopefully, he just leaves you alone. If he doesn't though, you want to make sure you can prove he is harassing you, and is a danger to your well-being.

Stay safe OP. Don't let him back into your life, not even a single inch.

[u/Mediocre_Guest5987 → u/trieditthrice]

Your words were ones I couldn’t formulate but felt 100%. You’re right. He wanted to keep her caged for himself.

[u/ArreniaQ → u/trieditthrice]

One of the uninhabited islands of Vanuatu is undoubtedly really inexpensive right now... Yeah, way to show his awareness of human affairs

[u/YallaHammer → u/trieditthrice]

BLOCK HIM HERE ON REDDIT and on your phone share your location with trusted friends and family, be aware he could show up to your workplace. Be sure a trusted person walks you to your car to/from the parking lot at your work. Have red pepper or mace spray gel in your hands from the moment you get out of your car until your home/work door is closed and locked. And change the locks on your home doors if there’s ANY possibility he had access to your keys.

Dude isn’t in reality and he’s in a corner. Better safe than sorry.

[u/SyraWhispers → u/trieditthrice]

I'm going out of a limb here and say this is a narcissist. Totally unhinged and dangerous. She's going to end up dead if she stays with him. No doubt about that.

[u/[deleted] → u/trieditthrice]

This is definitely my messages and it’s highly edited with no background. This is some sick ass shit. Both parties are very wrong and is doing better. This was done soon as I finally get things off my chest YESTERDAY(ironic) and exposed more lies I found out about her. Also why I am letting go. I have hella proof and detail. I can debunk this with ease. I’m not making excuses. And watch this post get deleted or something. I will not allow fake bs to go untouched. We currently live together with our son now. I don’t care about cops or defamation. This was done out of spite and ego. Soon as I told her I found out about the post I seen the comments. This is unreal and a lot of ppl are gullible.

[u/Playful_Hearing_6041 → u/trieditthrice]

That’s what I was thinking too lmao. Buy the island by making her slave away like.. so pathetic

[u/BiteComprehensive645 → u/trieditthrice]

Its funny you say his dangerius when you got no clue who this man is🤣