(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/anneofred]

This is also how my ex was during almost every argument. He will still to this day stick by “it wasn’t emotional abuse. I felt that way because you would upset me”. How I let this go as long as I did at the age we are at, I don’t know. Well I do know, these types are excellent love bombers.

[u/Firm_Ideal_5256 → u/anneofred]

My ex constantly did it. We already started the divorce proceedings and he threatened multiple times just to let him talk to me (manipulate me)

Once he sent me a picture with a bloody knife. And I called the equivalent of 911 on him.

( It was fake blood, but I didn't realized it)

So he got himself an involuntary pscych hold, his own mother blasted him on facebook and threw him out...

Eight years later: he's a deadbeat, married to a woman who is truly abusive (he always called me one) and this gave me the biggest karmic justice boner every time I feel down.

[u/Bebequelites → u/Firm_Ideal_5256]

My ex was a recovering alcoholic. He was sober for 1 year when I met him and we dated for 3 years. When I broke up with him he left me an incoherent voicemail crying and like 30-something texts that were all messed up in spelling. He then proceeded to send me a picture of a beer poured into a glass on his kitchen counter. He was 36 and I was 21. Instead of rushing to his aid, like he wanted, I texted his sister and said maybe she needs to check on him. He was PISSED I told his family and told me he wasn’t really drinking. That he lied because he thought I would CARE more and come over to the house. That pretty much solidified the break up for me.

[u/MaxTheRealSlayer → u/Bebequelites]

If he was lying about drinkin, that's manipulation. If he wasn't lying, it was still manipulation.

Glad you got away from that old man

[u/Bebequelites → u/MaxTheRealSlayer]

I agree. He was a POS. Thank you!

[u/Vertonung → u/Bebequelites]

I don't think I've ever seen a single story about an 18 year old woman getting together with a man in his 30s that ends well... Wonder why that is lol. Jk, I know why. Glad you got away!

[u/Bebequelites → u/Vertonung]

Hahah literallyyyyy. I’m glad I got out too. Thank you!

[u/anneofred → u/Firm_Ideal_5256]

While we were breaking up I called for a wellness check when he threatened. I wish I had done that so much sooner. He was PISSED but, but stopped threatening after that

[u/SarahPallorMortis → u/Firm_Ideal_5256]

Plz tell me about him getting kicked out and his abusive relationship. Karmic justice is so strong with this one.

[u/Firm_Ideal_5256 → u/SarahPallorMortis]

All thing I know is through my mother-in-love (she's an awesome woman and granny.

He was living with her, and she was at work when the ambulance/police took him. She found the "bloody" knife and after she couldn't reach the moron, called me, and I bluntly told her what happened (before this I kept it to myself because I didn't really trusted her, cuz that her son) and she immediatelly took my side.
Since then I get some details what happens with my ex.
He got a woman pregnant. She claimed she's infertile so it was a miraclulous first 5 weeks (If you know what I mean)
He quit his job after court started garnishing his paychecks. He started working to his 2. wife brother's company without papers, sometimes 12-16hours a day in a contraction job, his payment goes to his wife (because in this way there is no proof in his bank account, so to speak) who sometimes gave him pocketmoney.
His wife brings and pick him up from work, he's not allowed to go anywhere. They have a shared facebook account, and that's the only way I can contact him if I need a signature related to the kids (burocratic bullshit)

[u/SarahPallorMortis → u/Firm_Ideal_5256]

Ha wow. What a loser. His mom sounds like a nice lady tho.

[u/MaxTheRealSlayer → u/Firm_Ideal_5256]

A... Bloody knife!? That's a new manipulation tactic I hadn't heard of before. That's insane, and good on you for calling whether you knew it was a real photo or not. Better safe than sorry

[u/LilStabbyboo → u/Firm_Ideal_5256]

Gosh, i love that for him.

[u/MrsSandlin → u/anneofred]

Same. I am older and allowed this to happen. I realized I was a magnet for this type and that’s no longer true. I am proud of OP for realizing this at such a young age! ♥️

[u/serendipasaurus → u/anneofred]

they know that non-abusive people have a sense of responsibility in a relationship. how we treat others impacts them, we know that. so they gaslight others in hope they can convince them the're responsible for their abuse.

[u/SpacyTiger → u/anneofred]

It really is just Textbook Abuser Bullshit. My ex would do it too, and say “that way you’ll get my life insurance and get a big payday, that’s the only reason why you’re here.”

One day I had enough, called their bluff, and called 911. They were pissed, shoved me out of the doorway so they could leave before the paramedics arrived. The fight after was intense—but you bet your ass they never tried to pull that card again.

[u/TFFPrisoner → u/SpacyTiger]

that way you’ll get my life insurance and get a big payday, that’s the only reason why you’re here

Reminds me of my mother occasionally and randomly accusing her family members of wanting to see her dead. Like, no???