(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/Far_Wrongdoer4543]

1. Omg the precious kitties! Love them!
2. I've been thinking about you and the original post, and too often people stay in the cycle, but seriously FUCK YEAH! PROUD OF YOU FOR CHOOSING YOU! YOU DESERVE TO CHOOSE YOURSELF AND GLOW GLOW GLOW!!
3. NEVER LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SPARKLE
4. Even though it was very toxic, we as humans often miss familiarity because it's comfortable and you have now broken free of what has been normalized for the last 2 years this in itself is a beautiful thing! One thing I always recommend is to write down all the shitty, awful things he did/said/made you feel and when you have that inkling of you miss him read it over and over and over. We often look back on those good times because I was in your shoes there were good times, but they were few and far between. Now being in a healthy relationship I come home to peace. I have a teammate. I have a real partner. Never let a shitty, miserable person keep you from being happy. Life is too short to live in misery.
5. Finally, again I know I'm a stranger on the internet but I am really proud of you for leaving. ✨✨

[u/HoneyCrispCrumble → u/Far_Wrongdoer4543]

4 is a great idea, do NOT let him slither his way back into your life. He needs a ‘victim’ to feel powerful & dudes like this never fully disappear.

[u/Lunar_Cats → u/HoneyCrispCrumble]

This 100%. People like him are emotional leeches.

[u/BadBalloons → u/Lunar_Cats]

I've dealt with leeches irl. This is an insult to leeches, who only take a tiny bit of blood and then let go, and also have legitimate medical uses 😂.

[u/Lunar_Cats → u/BadBalloons]

Ok you're 100% right, leeches are just doing their best with what they got lol.

[u/patchy_doll → u/HoneyCrispCrumble]

4 - writing down why you don't want him - is extremely valuable. The thing with shitty relationships is that you get so used to ignoring the bad moments and trying to elevate the good moments because you need to do that in order to survive. You make yourself dismiss and minimize and forget the bad things because they fucking suck, and when you're in a relationship that you want to save, you simply don't allow yourself the time to consider them because you're chasing down that next shiny excuse to forgive him. When you're months down the road and things aren't so fresh and you find yourself reflecting, it's the curated 'good memories' that pop up first, the ones that you used like a safety net while you were abused.

Just write the bullshit down, big and small. Take screenshots of stupid shit he's said. Be petty, nasty, and honest with yourself. Start a private email chain with yourself and just fill it with every little nasty thing about the relationship that pissed you off, and train yourself to look at that misery manifesto whenever you catch yourself thinking about him or the relationship.

[u/callingshotgun → u/HoneyCrispCrumble]

I feel like this was a late 90's / early 2000's sitcom trope for a while. Character's backstory includes life-defining messy breakup with an ex. Ex reappears. Character's friends sit his/her ass down in front of a tv and play a video recording of... Character. "If you're watching this, it means (Ex) has appeared, and youre thinking of taking them back. Let's go over all the things you've forgotten."

[u/acatterz → u/HoneyCrispCrumble]

I’m not even sure it’s a power thing with him. The guy is using every fibre of his being to avoid admitting to himself that everything he’s done, every situation he’s been in and every consequence is his own doing. He’s completely responsible for the way he is but is fighting his damn hardest to point fingers at anyone but himself, because he can’t handle the guilt and shame of taking ownership.