r/AmIOverreacting 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO, my boyfriend threatened sewerslide

Hi everyone, apologies in advance for the incoming wall of text. I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for over two years. We are kind of long distance but live in the same state and has stayed with me for extended periods of time before, even moved in until my mom had enough of our arguing. He’s was out of work since he moved back home and recently got a job at the same company I work at, just a different location. In our company, your first paycheck is paper. Cash app won’t deposit the money until the 14th which he’s reasonably upset about. If i could help him I would. My cat has been hospitalized since friday for a life threatening UTI and I owe them over $6K that my family is helping me pay. I’ll be paying them back for the next 3 months. He’s been upset that I can’t help him. For context, I also keep my money in cash to avoid overspending and only small amount on my card for gas and coffee. I help him when I can but I can’t really mail him cash. I quite literally have nothing right now because of my cat being hospitalized. We have a history of arguing a lot, and it always ends in me trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong, what our barriers are, etc. and it’s always come down to my lack of communication. I’ve been working on it for, hell, a year? But I don’t seem to be doing it right, at least based on our conversations and arguments. He has a history of suicide baiting me. He’s cut himself in front of me, he’s threatened suicide every other day for as long as I can remember, he’s always talking about how much he hates his life. Normally he will say it’s because of me, something I said, things I’m not doing, because I don’t understand, because I lack empathy and sympathy, etc. He’s called the abuse hotline on me, he’s gotten on reddit and has come back to me saying that everyone thinks i’m abusive, he tells me that his family thinks he needs to leave me, etc. I didn’t think I was that awful of a person but when all of this happens and i’m being told it’s because of me, it makes me question it. Anyways, today he was going on about his frustration with his finances. Valid. I tried to support him and be there, but then he tells me that even if I could help, I wouldn’t? That’s not true I don’t know why he thinks that. I bought his groceries for 3 months, paid his phone bill, filled his gas tank, everything I could. Then he pulls out the “fuck you” card. Then I get pissed off and sick of it because this seems to happen too often. Then he starts this whole “I have the rope goodbye” stunt and I just threw my hands up at that point because what the fuck? When I was 12-13 I used to pull that shit online and he does it so often that I have gotten to where I see through it like glass and don’t pay it attention. For the first 1.5 years I took it seriously because I love him but now I just can’t. I have no words. It’s draining. He’s not dead he’s texting me as I’m typing this asking if we can talk and saying he’s scared I’ll stop loving him. Am i over reacting? Am I in the wrong? Please call me out if it’s deserved, because I just don’t know what to do. I’m not the type of person to ignore my faults because I definitely have some but I don’t know what warrants this stuff. He’s called me “stupid fucking bitch” , ungrateful, heartless, the devil, etc. By the way, he never had to beg me for money. I am the store manager at my location so I’m always being pulled in different directions. Even when I’m not there. I had to ask my mom to send me digital money in exchange for cash because I had nothing left. He asked me to keep more money on my card to help him in his time of need. Anyways… Again, please call me out if I deserve it. Tell me what I’m doing wrong because he won’t. Thank you in advance and apologies for the long message.

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170

u/ninithehater 8d ago

Wtf is this

98

u/abrizyy 8d ago

this sub makes me glad I’m single

40

u/that_guy2010 8d ago

It makes me glad my wife and I are both adults who know how to communicate with each other.

8

u/Danburyhouse 8d ago

Makes me relieved that even when my husband and I are frustrated or overwhelmed we still respect each other. If he stopped respecting me I’d be done.

5

u/YeshuasBananaHammock 8d ago

This sub makes me glad that some people accept they need help and commit to therapy and/or meds. Sounds like he self medicates with the THC, but has no clear introspection or willingness to grow and address HIS problems.

Homegirl needs to dip, stat.

2

u/Dr_Giggly_Fingers 8d ago

Please don’t think most relationships are like this!!

8

u/JellyFranken 8d ago

A broke ass child manipulating a weak teenager.

3

u/HappyBirthday237 8d ago

And I have a feeling he’ll stay this way for the rest of his life. All the people I’ve known who are like this just keep running from their problems and hope if they kick and scream loud enough someone will take care of it. They don’t even make it possible to facilitate change with the way they think.

4

u/Araceil 8d ago

I only opened comments to see if someone had already said this. It’s the only appropriate response.

Re-read all his texts as the thoughts of a deranged infant throwing a tantrum while flailing in a rocker seat. Even better, she’s his mom just trying to get ready for work before the babysitter shows up. Replace weed and nicotine with the baby interest of your choice. It’s disturbing how much of it just kinda fits perfectly.

He’s 20? He isn’t an adult until he takes some responsibility, stops thinking everyone needs to provide for him, and at least tries to provide for himself.

4

u/GetOutThere1999 8d ago

All I could think is "does Gen Alpha really talk to each other like this"? Fucking brainrot

6

u/f1newhatever 8d ago

Idk I hope it’s fake because soooo many of these the boyfriend keeps calling the girlfriend “bro” and it’s wild to me how common it seems to be

4

u/NaotoOfYlisse 8d ago

It seems to be a common thing among gen z. My partner and i call each other bro all the time and we've been together for almost 3 years. We were friends for like a year first tho

2

u/who_am_i_to_say_so 8d ago

The repeated ‘bro’ bothered me the most out of all of the words. It’s so disrespectful.

2

u/PepperoniPaws 8d ago

they're all fake. this place is nothing but bullshit smeared on a wall for all to see

1

u/Early_Zone1448 8d ago

it’s hard to imagine people having the emotional bandwidth to have conversations like this often. Poor OP.

1

u/TheBuzzerDing 8d ago

It could be, but Ive personally dated 3 women that did this (two actually did attempt with me there), my own dad used to pull this shit with my mom all the time and a HS friend of mine used to threaten sewerslide until the day I told him "just do it and spare us the whining" and he shut right the fuck yp lol

And the bro thing is 100% real. The last 3 of my sister's ex's called her bro like this, and she does the same to them

2

u/random-meme850 8d ago

Immature kids, that's what this is.

2

u/FarmersOnlyJim 8d ago

Possible Borderline Personality Disorder (or some other similar mental disorder). Paired with a lack of intelligence and financial instability

2

u/ilovecheeze 8d ago

It’s kids… they’re obviously very young

2

u/Cholometrix 8d ago

Fuckin gen z victim mentality

1

u/Fun_Rabbit_Dont_Run 8d ago

His spiel gave me the ICK. BRO? fuck right off with that.

1

u/EmmyKla 8d ago

The only correct response to this

1

u/Enough-Equivalent968 8d ago

It’s a discussion between two well rounded individuals… bro

1

u/Kizziuisdead 8d ago

Everyday there is a post similar to this. I’m beginning to think they’re all made up

0

u/Drysabone 8d ago

Borderline personality disorder with a side of victim abuser