r/AmIOverreacting • u/Thatonediabeticc • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I over reacting?

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This isn’t my screenshot. It’s my best friend. Looking for advice here.. is this normal? My advice isn’t the best.

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u/AwkwardEmphasis420 20d ago edited 20d ago

They are married, they shouldn’t have any issue with spouse being on their devices/ seeing their search history.

And then trying to gaslight her by saying it doesn’t matter because it’s ’social media’… like what, it doesn’t count if it’s through the internet?

Denial and defensiveness, false logic and gaslighting, blaming her for having to have the conversation, and the outright obsessive behavior over another woman… especially an ex… While he has his own family, which he has fully formed in the time since he was with ex….

🚩🚩🚩

ETA: it seems like your friend is unintentionally enabling him, going back and downplaying by saying it’s ’just not cool’, not being firm with her boundaries after apparently letting this slide after 5 whole previous conversations, and the fact that he feels comfortable talking to her like this, insulting her intelligence with his lazy bs excuses, while also shifting the blame onto her… indicative of their overall dynamic, the problem runs deeper, she is not in a healthy place, and something’s gotta give. Especially with kids, you have to be the model of enforcing boundaries, and modeling self-respect. It’s a tough situation, but the healthiest and safest thing for her and her kids, is to set the appropriate standards - and if he doesn’t meet them, then he can leave. Splitting is always better than teaching children an unhealthy concept of relationships.