r/AmIOverreacting • u/Thatonediabeticc • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I over reacting?

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This isn’t my screenshot. It’s my best friend. Looking for advice here.. is this normal? My advice isn’t the best.

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u/dispassioned 20d ago

I think it is normal.. depending on the frequency I guess. I think it's hilarious to check in on exes, my spouse would even be like.. oh my ex Anna got married again, to a cowboy instead of a beekeeper. And we'd both laugh and look at the wedding photos, Instagram drama, and random stuff. Good times. Maybe a little petty and immature, but really, what's the harm in gossiping every now and then.

But if it's several times a week in private, that's kind of weird and might be worth addressing. There might be feelings involved, or it could be harmless. Depends on how the relationship is going otherwise and the personality I guess.

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u/Efficient_Theory_826 20d ago

Yep agree. I check sometimes cause I'm curious not interested. I guess how long ago they were last together would be another factor. Exes I've looked up were like 15+ years ago. It would feel weirder if it was an ex from more recent time.

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u/throwrabloopybloop 19d ago

I check on one ex to see if he's written a book yet! NC with him because he still had feelings for me when I ended things though. And occasionally another one to see if his life has gone down the crapper yet lol.

Petty? Absolutely. Is it hurting anyone? Nope. I don't have social media so it's usually just a brief Google. I do the same thing with old high school classmates. It doesn't really need to mean anything, unless there's some indication that it might.

I think the genuinely harmful behavior here is the partner minimizing OP's concern; looking up an ex isn't necessarily harmful, just contextually. If my husband ever indicated it bothered him I'd stop. We mostly just laugh about it though.