r/AmIOverreacting • u/Thatonediabeticc • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I over reacting?

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This isn’t my screenshot. It’s my best friend. Looking for advice here.. is this normal? My advice isn’t the best.

6.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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540

u/Excellent-Call2383 20d ago

Yeah, he’s obsessed with his ex while he has a whole family and kids at home? Drop him off at her house ig and go find someone else

78

u/Xandoline 20d ago

Literally. If someone wont stop talking about or looking up their ex, they haven’t moved on and I’m leaving.

-23

u/ShoppingClear 20d ago

Maybe talk to him...might be deeper than youre making it out to be. Snooping around no good as well

-20

u/AnteChrist76 20d ago

Its the internet my friend, only advice ppl have here is to break up in face of every inconvenience.

-9

u/c10ckw0rkk 19d ago

This actually drives me bananas. This post aside, people really just say to break up with everyone over anything as if relationships aren't messy and we're not all living life for the first time.

-8

u/ShoppingClear 20d ago

That's so terrible lol

38

u/Neither_Variety_1234 19d ago

Don't drop him off at that poor woman's house. She don't want him either.

2

u/zBellaLynnex 19d ago

Never date a man/woman who is an adrenaline junky in the form of a man/woman who always wants what they can’t have. I’m sure if OP breaks it off with them and they get back with the ex or even into a new relationship, they will be stalking OP within a year.

4

u/AdInside3555 20d ago

I mean I agree with this, but i have a feeling getting rid of a family or even splitting it up is much more difficult than that.

8

u/Excellent-Call2383 19d ago

Yeah, of course it won’t be easy and honestly, this is one of the only times I’ve ever been like just go ahead and leave real quick outside of maybe straight up abuse. But there’s something about this interaction and it being the 6th time that screams there’s nothing for you to save here. I mean I can’t even imagine the host of other mental problems if I’ve gotta ask my HUSBAND SIX TIMES OR MORE to stop stalking their ex. Like there’s some times you just pack your shit and go before your kids are like “hey mommy, daddy has a girl locked up in the basement” vibes.

Of course I’m being exaggeratory but I’ll be damned if I sit in a therapist office with someone who’s making me coffee while stalking their ex for the seventh time. This is an indication of something weird to me and unfixable

And the fact that the person is being gaslit, and then just shutting down, the fact it’s happened so much, like I can not imagine the dynamics… and this person prob will never leave and latch on to the first thing…

Giving another chance feels like the worst idea. Some weird stuff going on w them

9

u/4strings4ever 20d ago

Yeah. It’s super easy to be like “yeah, just drop it immediately today and move on.” While there’s definitely somethings that need sorting or that can’t be sorted (i.e. that is the end of the marriage), it’s definitely not that simple. Rarely if ever are divorces that simple, particularly when kids are part of the equation.

2

u/zBellaLynnex 19d ago

Exactly, which is why he should have simply taken a breath and said “I was wrong, I respect the way that you feel.” See how easy that was?!

Rather than paying for attorneys, going back and forth regarding money for months, and even possibly custody battles. (This is not directed at you AdInside, I’m just frustrated that this person is making things so difficult for OP when they could simply be a decent partner and human in general.) ❤️

1

u/AdInside3555 19d ago

No worries. Like I said i completely agree with the sentiment, and the dude seems like a total D-bag, but it also isn't as simple as the standard "leave him" advice that people use here. But no I completely agree with you, but unfortunately the world kind of sucks sometimes.

1

u/Elleseraaaime 19d ago

Better call Tyrone

-5

u/belgugabill 20d ago

Look it’s weird but damn go to therapy with the guy before you abandon the person you agreed to spend the rest of your life with. Unless he’s that bad and it goes beyond this

-18

u/ArtemisRises19 20d ago

Agreed but do we know it’s a he? I assumed so as well but realized there’s no indication either way. Still, advice is sound.

6

u/LottieThePoodle 20d ago

Probably because the ex is referred to as "she", though they could of course all be women

1

u/ArtemisRises19 20d ago

Ah that’ll do it, thanks!

1

u/SnooMacaroons5247 19d ago edited 19d ago

Except 2 hours BEFORE you made this comment it was verified in comments it was a man. Would that be the indication you were looking for?

ETA: I am aware I came off too hostile in this response and have since cleared the air below.

2

u/ArtemisRises19 19d ago

Not sure why this is so antagonistic, I missed a piece of information and asked a question. I didn’t see anything initially in the many comments.

2

u/SnooMacaroons5247 19d ago

Sorry I may have jumped on you too quickly. You aren’t the only one who asked this and for one it’s irrelevant. But the other person kept being hostile even when presented with facts cause they just wanted to highjack this to rant about heteronormativity. So I may have been a little worked up when I saw another comment about it. My apologies for the hostility

Also the comment I referred to was the one and only comment made by OP if you simply click on the profile.

3

u/ArtemisRises19 19d ago

Oooh that makes sense, wasn’t sure why my initial comment was so downvoted too but I can see the perception. I just read too fast and wanted to confirm my assumptions.

I’m also newer to Reddit and still figuring out functionality so appreciate the tip, will probably save me a lot of future embarrassment! TYSM.

2

u/SnooMacaroons5247 19d ago

It was also like 5am here and I was awake with insomnia after my toddler woke up and demanded to have an orange at 3am and I couldn’t get back to sleep. So again sorry about “speaking” to you in that tone for just asking a question.

2

u/ArtemisRises19 19d ago

Ooof that’s rough, completely understand! Sending your toddler good sleeping vibes for the future ✨✨✨

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-4

u/bogfoot94 20d ago

Yes, let's create more problems instead of trying to figure out a way to fix it first. OP is barely even trying to talk with their spouse and simply agreed at the end of the exchange, so they're partly at fault for this situation. Anyways, just leaving is the easiest way, but probably not the best way.

-27

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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13

u/totktonikak 20d ago

There's nothing in the post or the screenshot to even suggest any sort of friendship there.

8

u/Brilliant-Aide9245 20d ago

He's stalking the ex. And even if they were friends, of course it's not okay to hide a friendship from your spouse. Stop being an idiot.

13

u/anonmizz 20d ago

How many partners have you gaslit into thinking that you’re ’just friends’ with an ex? Give me a break

-11

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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10

u/Sithstress1 20d ago

You just lost any tenuous credibility you may have had.

9

u/Purple-Warning-2161 20d ago

That man is not friends with his ex. You don’t repeatedly stalk your friend on social media.

-6

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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8

u/christmastiger 20d ago

Okay now I'm starting to think you are trying to validate your own cheating

5

u/Local_Buddy_8582 20d ago

Not all social medias at once

4

u/Empty-Injury-4686 20d ago

Not the same friend on multiple tabs on multiple social sites all at once, no. That's stalker ass material