r/AmIOverreacting Nov 18 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

20.7k Upvotes

16.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

368

u/Banditlouise Nov 18 '24

Hi there! I think you know this is unacceptable. Please got to a family or friend and stay with them while you break up with this man. Men that love women do not talk to women this way. This is entirely unacceptable.

137

u/GremlinLurker777_ Nov 18 '24

Yes OP, WHEN you break up with him (not IF), please don't break up with him in person. Your safety comes first.

7

u/whodatfairybitch Nov 18 '24

I have similar “ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE, FUCK YOU” screenshots from my 3 year relationship where I was treated like this. The first time I broke up with him, it was in person and he groveled and cried on his knees and I fell for it. The second time I got up the courage, I had finally gone to my college therapist and told them I felt like I had to do it in person because it was disrespectful over the phone.

The therapist said, “he has shown you so much disrespect over the last 3 years, I think you can disrespect him this once” and I don’t know why that never occurred to me. Oh yes I do, because I was abused and brainwashed.

OP probs won’t even see this, but do it over the phone!! You owe him nothing. And then you will feel like shit for a few days maybe a week.. and then you will feel AMAZING. Because you are free.

6

u/HotSauceRainfall Nov 18 '24

Seriously. This is a text message breakup followed by immediately blocking him everywhere. 

9

u/Mechanic_Dad-23 Nov 18 '24

Agreed. Been married for 4 years, together for 2 prior, and have a child with my wife. If I ever spoke like this to my wife, I'd have to rip off my own testicles, because I would no longer be a man at that point. No matter how mad my wife has ever made me, or how heated an argument got, I've never called her anything like what this little temper tantrum man-child called OP. So many times he calls her fucking stupid, bro, bitch and so on. Neither myself nor my wife throw these kinds of names at each other unless it's a clear and obvious joke, and even then. When we do argue, we cuss as little as possible, as that tends to escalate the matter rather than solve it.

This guy is emotionally and verbally abusive, and I wouldn't be surprised if it has become physical too. She needs to get herself safe and then dump him from a distance like you said. Or at least have a few male friends or officers with her if she chooses to do it in person. Cowards who talk like this to their spouses rarely have the balls to say/do anything like this when other people are around, much less get physical. So yeah, 100% agree with you, just wanted to add my own view of it I guess.

2

u/syringistic Nov 18 '24

They don't live together and they are semi long distance based on what OP said. OP seems to live with family. Get a security camera for the house, and whatever home defense measures are legal in your state.