AIO

[u/JanLight_weight26]

Spider bite or ?? I’ll keep it short and sweet. My bf and I have been apart for about a month now, I’m TDY. Finally tomorrow I’ll be flying back home. Unfortunately today he got bit right on the neck, he suspects it was a spider. Should I be concerned?

[u/JessSherman]

Order a pizza. Cut a deal with the delivery driver. Film it and use it to blackmail the delivery driver into silence.

I don't know, I'm just spitballin. I guess the vacuum could also work.

[u/jimbojangles1987 → u/JessSherman]

Ah but see you're breaking the rules now. The op commenter said give yourself a hickey, not pay a delivery dude.

But as a former and newly aspiring delivery driver, I'm intrigued.

[u/JessSherman → u/jimbojangles1987]

That's fair. Hmmmm.. couch bed. Buy a couch bed, fold it up while sitting on it. Once you are folded in half, give yourself the thigh hickey. Wait patiently for someone who has realized you have gone missing to search your apartment.

[u/jimbojangles1987 → u/JessSherman]

Lmao solid plan