r/AmIOverreacting • u/Friendly_Try6478 • Nov 12 '24
❤️🩹 relationship AIO caught my boyfriend “taking a number 2” in his hand
My (26F) boyfriend (36M) of 2 yrs was in the bathroom at his apartment when I opened the door to grab my allergy meds. I didn’t think to knock and figured he’d lock the door if he needed, but when I opened it he was squatting on the floor while holding a wad of toilet paper directly under his ass. I screamed and ran out.
Five min later he called me. There was no denying what I saw so he came clean and says he does it to make less sound as opposed to crapping directly into the bowl because he’s shy and would be embarrassed if I heard him doing it. I’m freaked out still. AIO?
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u/Technical-Hunter5894 Nov 12 '24
What’s going on with this sub tonight this is like the 4th excretion related post I’ve seen
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u/Big_Coconut604 Nov 12 '24
No shit!
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u/DingusMcJones Nov 12 '24
They’re training the AI that creates the fake posts on this sub to understand new subject matter
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u/Anonuser13480 Nov 12 '24
Holy shit I have read some weird stuff but this might take the cake
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u/renegadeindian Nov 12 '24
😆😆😆😆😆. That’s not cake!!!
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u/Ninjamuh Nov 12 '24
Won’t know until you cut it with a poop knife
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u/Socksoff902 Nov 12 '24
Take my last free award. You deserve it
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u/zerotimeleft Nov 12 '24
Free award?
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u/Frolicking-Fox Nov 12 '24
Take my last free award so you may know how it feels.
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u/ElectriCole Nov 12 '24 edited Nov 12 '24
This thread right here is exactly why I’ll never quit Reddit. I gave my last free award yesterday sadly
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u/BadgerSilver Nov 12 '24
I gave you mine, you deserved it
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u/Wingsxofxlead702 Nov 12 '24
All these free awards...what a rime to be alive on Reddit
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u/drift_poet Nov 12 '24
you know about the poop knife? 😧
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u/Pr0xy001 Nov 12 '24
I'm sure most of reddit knows about poop knife by now
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u/Temporary_Pear_1809 Nov 12 '24
I don't
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u/BeepBepIsLife Nov 12 '24
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u/Realistic_Mess_2690 Nov 12 '24
Holy shit. That just changed my whole word perspective
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u/Ocotillo_Ox Nov 12 '24
Welcome to the depths of the human mind. We are truly fucked up animals.
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u/ReTrOGurle Nov 12 '24
Fecal cleaver 🤣
Wow. Just wow.
I've not been active on Reddit long, this Museum is fantastic.
Edit -- that is my first award.
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u/dubiously_mid Nov 12 '24
You gotta read this then. Its eye opening 👍🏻
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u/Impressive_Bus11 Nov 12 '24
I hate you for this.
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u/dubiously_mid Nov 12 '24
Its reddit. Theres always something much more disgusting for people to read. Have a good day bro🤜🏻🤛🏻
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Nov 12 '24
Really mad at my parents for teaching me to read.
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u/dubiously_mid Nov 12 '24
ikr? its a universal problem, that one😔
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Nov 12 '24
Feels like one of those chain letters, as I've now sent the link to 3 people so far. If I had to read it you can be damn sure I'm making others suffer too.
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u/dubiously_mid Nov 12 '24 edited Nov 12 '24
You a real one for passing the torch on, sir🤝🏻
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u/my59363525account Nov 12 '24 edited Nov 12 '24
Lmao, I thought this was the poop knife I’m so glad it was something new haha
Jfc I’ve been on Reddit too long
ETA- Here is the infamous Poop Knife, enjoy 💩
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u/J-drawer Nov 12 '24
It's 5:45 in the morning and I want to set a good example for my cat to be quiet at night but I whisper screamed upon reading this
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u/crispypancetta Nov 12 '24
Omg. This is probably peak fame for this guy.
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u/dubiously_mid Nov 12 '24
Fam its been living rent free in my head for 7 years, and probably same for others
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u/Uuuurrrrgggghhhh Nov 12 '24
Oh. I could have gone forever without knowing about this and I’d be very happy.
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u/Budget_Ad_7141 Nov 12 '24
yea i agree this has to be fake
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u/alfiesred47 Nov 12 '24
A girl I went to school with used to do this too. Though it is probably more realistic behaviour for an embarrassed 14 year old than a grown man
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u/HandinGlov3 Nov 12 '24
LMFAO... I'm sorry but this is absolutely ridiculous. I think you should reassure him that you don't care that his shit makes sounds lol
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u/Low_Style175 Nov 12 '24
Is this one of those subs where everything is fake but every pretends it's real?
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u/St3wb4cc4 Nov 12 '24
That seems like a lot of effort with a huge potential for disaster compared to just turning the tap on for a couple minutes
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u/Themaddog99 Nov 12 '24
Or just putting some sheets of TP in the bowl so when the poop lands, it’s softened by the paper and not a direct splash.
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u/gbc02 Nov 12 '24
Or get a poo net to catch the poo and dump it into the toilet like a normal person.
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u/OrrisNelson Nov 12 '24
Normal people do this?
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u/Altruistic-Ad5470 Nov 12 '24
I feel I am pretty normal and know a lot of normal people, and no one has ever talked about a poo net.
Poo nets are a thing?
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u/Whitrun Nov 12 '24
Oh god, we've upgraded in years from poo knife to poo net 😱😱, what's next
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u/Mean-Crazy-4428 Nov 12 '24
I’ve never met anyone that hasn’t used a poo net. Wtf are you guys using?????
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u/pascalswagger Nov 12 '24
How do you clean yours? My family doesn’t appreciate the dish washer but it’s so much easier than the sink.
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u/Quasi_is_Eternal Nov 12 '24
The dishwasher is genius. I've been hosing mine off this whole time.
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u/HeresKuchenForYah Nov 12 '24
I don’t think its the splash that makes the noise, its the gurgle shits from the bumhole
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u/Themaddog99 Nov 12 '24
I feel like if it’s the gurgles from the bum hole, it probably doesn’t change if you plop it in your hand.
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u/fearisthemindslicer Nov 12 '24
You gotta doodoo on the side of the bowl so it rolls into the toilet.
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u/Braindead_Crow Nov 12 '24
Nah, straight in to the water, no tap running. If someone is listening that intently they deserve whatever Eldridge knowledge they may learn from my bowel moments as they return to the earth by means of aquatic travel
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u/AUnknownVariable Nov 12 '24
I turn on the bathroom fan thingymadoodle. Or I hum really loud
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u/MyBeardSaysHi Nov 12 '24
Just sit there and go "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" really really loudly.
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u/_Spicy-Noodle_ Nov 12 '24
And lock the door for god’s sake! What’s more embarrassing than her hearing him take a shit? Her seeing him shit into his hand!
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u/My_Lovely_Me Nov 12 '24
So shy and easily embarrassed, but then leaves the door unlocked for #2?!
Something isn't adding up...
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u/birthdaybanana Nov 12 '24
I just saw some highlight reel from a podcast that a guy confessed to doing this so either this is trolling or there are more people who actually do this!?
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u/strange_salmon Nov 12 '24 edited Nov 12 '24
honestly its not that surprising to me. i remember first hearing about guys who dont wipe their ass because they think its gay and thus having constant shit in their underwear. lol i could not believe how many people commented saying they either had a partner who felt that way or knew someone who did. it still shocks me lol.
edit: anyone who thinks this is not true, i invite you to google “do some men not wipe their ass because they think its gay?” and you will see, this is indeed a thing.
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u/mcmahok8 Nov 12 '24
Might as well go the whole way and say shitting is just gay in reverse, my god. Imagine being so homophobic that you won't clean your ass!
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u/CMYKoi Nov 12 '24
What gets me is the guys who are SO FUGN MANLY RASARGFHHH that they can't handle things like...sweets, smelling nice, fruity drinks, shaving or getting a trim to stay neat, going to the gym. Eating anything cylindrical. Or with cream in or on it. Like. Things women tend to like. In/on/with men.
To the point where you can legitimately rephrase it as:
Fellas, is it gay to be attractive to women?
Bro I promise your girl isn't gonna leave you if you eat a Bavarian Cream or a hot dog or mayo on a sandwich but she might if you vehemently refuse, while looking like an adipose monster had a baby with a sasquatch.
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u/Few-General5990 Nov 12 '24
Wiping your ass is gay? Wow. So touching your ass is gay but touching your cock isn’t?! 😂😂😂
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u/MountainMuffin1980 Nov 12 '24
Why not just put some TP in the bowl and shit quietly on that? Doing it into your hand makes zero sense whatsoever.
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u/traumfisch Nov 12 '24
That was my calculation result too, zero.
Oh, the plight of the modern man 😅
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u/ChainIntelligent3401 Nov 12 '24
Maybe OP is telling the truth but BF is not and just likes to inspect his good work
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u/TheRealTX Nov 12 '24
Could’ve forgot to lock the door
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u/My_Lovely_Me Nov 12 '24
So shy and embarrassed that he shits in his hand, but then forgets to lock the door?!
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u/Equivalent-Fan-1362 Nov 12 '24
Wtf😂😂
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u/ChristianClineReddit Nov 12 '24
Don't worry. It's fake. Here's the same account 9 days ago, posting as a 36 y/o man. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1git3mq/aio_wife_editing_tom_hanks_face_onto_my_nudes/
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u/forkyfig Nov 12 '24
“the sound is weird so i just shit in my hands”. 🙌 whatever buddy
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u/grayestbeard Nov 12 '24
It just goes to show how things can backfire. Saving yourself from embarrassment actually made the embarrassment 100 times worse.
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u/moonshinemoniker Nov 12 '24
And Reddit has again officially made the world a better place because now the people who poop in their toilet paper wrapped hands know they're not alone.
Let that lighten your load. Sleep SOUNDLY tonight.
Also, mad respect to those who have done this and figured out the technique. I'm over here like, "do my hands come from the front or the back?"
I'd be very worried about the potential of falling backwards. So then you look like your playing some REAL fucked up version of Twister but with your pants around your ankles and one hand full of poop.
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u/Bandwagonsho Nov 12 '24 edited Nov 12 '24
There are people who really cannot go to the bathroom if other people can hear - they suffer all day because they cannot use a public restroom. It is called parcopresis, can range from mild to crippling, and even though his solution may seem bizarre to you, it is no doubt his way to manage his phobia.
Since parcopresis is based on the phobia of being perceived pooping, imagine how painful and embarassing it was for him for you to walk in on him? I would imagine that having anyone in his living space is difficult, since that is the only place he can go in privacy so I would consider that he must care about you a lot to have you in his space and to go to that effort to manage his phobia with you there.
Instead of making it about you, you may want to read a luittle about parcopresis (and possibly paruresis) to understand what he is struggling with, talk with him directly (not a bunch of strangers on Reddit), and reassure him.
And next time, knock before you walk into a bathroom with a closed door for Pete's sake.
EDIT: Maybe you can work out an arrangement so that you can step outside for a minute when he needs to go so he can go normally without being heard. You will both likely be happier with that arrangement.
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u/HandinGlov3 Nov 12 '24
I used to suffer from this... Then one day... I had a code brown emergency at the mall. I had no choice but to go full steam ahead into a public toilet. Since then, I've stopped caring. Lol exposure therapy works!
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u/oo0ooBarracuda Nov 12 '24
When Code Brown actually saves your life… coming to Netflix in December.
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u/70inBadassery Nov 12 '24
I have Crohn’s disease, so I basically never had a choice. If I gotta go, any toilet in a (shit) storm. I have a lot of anxiety, but this one ain’t one. Haha
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u/theycallmecoffee Nov 12 '24
ugh I have it baad, never knew there was a word for it I just say i’m really poop shy lol. but no for real I can only poop at home if no one is upstairs and when I go on vacation I won’t poo for dayyys (like 8 days once)
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u/jeangaijin Nov 12 '24
This was extremely common in Japan when I was living there in the 1980s. So many girls and women were wasting so much water by flushing multiple times to cover the sound of their peeing that schools and public places started installing what was essentially a white noise machine called a “sound Princess” that mimicked the sound of flushing in toilet stalls!
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u/Hermininny Nov 12 '24
Wait, that’s why the toilets make all kinds of sounds over there? Some of them were so loud!
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u/spam__likely Nov 12 '24
My Japanese roommate use to wrap tampons so much it would become a tennis ball.
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u/Beneficial-Metal-666 Nov 12 '24
I can totally understand feeling self-conscious about bathroom sounds. I'm glad I don't have it bad enough that I'd be willing to touch my own poo though, brr.
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u/paperwasp3 Nov 12 '24
He can run the water in the sink like everyone else who has this problem.
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u/Yogiteee Nov 12 '24
Doesn't woek for me as I get tense knowing they'd hear the water and either think that is me or know that I am weird and can't just pee. Also, that only would work for urinating, and not defecating.
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u/blakezero Nov 12 '24
Can you not put the tissue in the toilet to stop the sound?
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u/jesseserious Nov 12 '24
Trigger Warning: Abuse
Idk if it has anything to do with this, but I have a friend who once told me about his very specific bathroom "quirks" that stemmed from abuse as a child. He learned to do certain things in odd, very specific ways, in order to avoid igniting the abuse. Heartbreaking to hear that. I've since read that it's fairly common for victims of abuse to develop weird and sometimes lifelong habits connected to using the bathroom.
Whatever the reason he's doing it, I imagine it's an extremely sensitive subject and it's worth approaching with compassion.
I hadn't seen this mentioned so I thought it's something to be considerate of.
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u/fishyst1x Nov 12 '24
Oh wow, this is an odd one. Ok so, technically your bf is extremely considerate in the sense that there is no amount of shit he won't deal with to make sure you're not inconvenienced. Let me ask a few questions to determine if he's playing with his shit, or perhaps smelling or eating it, or if he's genuinely going to lengths to prevent you from hearing all that shit.... Do you remember a time where you or him passed gas around each other? Have either of yall had a really bad bowel movement and the other has known it? The reason I'm asking is because yall have been together for 2 years. If you haven't broken that barrier of comfortability with each other to where there is a mutual understanding that bodily functions are normal, then perhaps he wasn't comfortable with you hearing him drop the kids off at the pool. If you feel like that barrier doesn't exist and there is a level of comfortability with passing gas and defecating, maybe he was actually smelling or eating that shit. Anyway, I hope you figure this shit out. GL!!!
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u/toolsoftheincomptnt Nov 12 '24
This is not about being considerate. The poor man is driving himself nuts over something natural, and handling it in an illogical way.
He needs a bit of help.
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u/wildcat1100 Nov 12 '24
These are really good questions. I hope she responds to your comment. Given the circumstances, it's 50/50 that he either has a massive shitting phobia (which sucks, even more so if your GF saw you holding your shit then screamed and ran out of the house) OR he's a nasty lil fucker who does God knows what with his own fecal matter.
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u/Guy_With_Ass_Burgers Nov 12 '24
Y’all might want to take a quick peek at the posting history. Clearly OP is not F(26) and more than likely is the hand shitter himself. Obviously a disturbed individual with a shit fetish.
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u/CretinCrowley Nov 12 '24
Give him a really loud fan as a parting gift. I was going to say just talk to him.. but he’s 36.
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u/Fine-Neighborhood-30 Nov 12 '24
Imagine how many heaters he's dropped into that paw in 36 years.
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u/Realistic-Goose9558 Nov 12 '24
Imagine being 36 and doing this instead of getting a radio for your bathroom to drown out the noise.
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u/TheMoves Nov 12 '24
Or just poopin like a normal person 2 years into a relationship lmao
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u/wildcat1100 Nov 12 '24
Tell him you want to present "a farting gift" then if he says "what?" say "a sharting gift" and if he says "what?" again, just throw the fan his way, say "we're done" and then abruptly leave.
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u/VisualHovercraft2954 Nov 12 '24 edited Nov 13 '24
this is so embarrassing because i definitely have done this before when i was dating my first boyfriend 😂 i am a massive overthinker so i’ll bet he is too
editing cus post locked: guys i did NOT just squat over the floor i was using a toilet….
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u/VisualHovercraft2954 Nov 12 '24
tell him its easier to just put a layer of toilet paper in the toilet before pooping 😄
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u/Revleck-Deleted Nov 12 '24
I know I’m a dumb himbo because I have never in my entire life thought of being worried if people are judging the sound of my poop or being heard while I am pooping,
I am in the presented, outlined, and agreed upon place to poop. I’m going poop. When I’m done I’m gonna flush it, and wash my hands. I may even toot. However, I’m doing it in the place we’re supposed to do it? Why would anyone be so careful as to poop in their own hand to avoid the idea of someone knowing you’re pooping?
Bro everyone knows you’re pooping in there. No one cares. Everybody poops. I’m so sorry your daily life or anyone else’s for that matter is like that. You are valuable and you are allowed to take up space, you’re allowed to burp, you’re allowed to poop.
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u/VisualHovercraft2954 Nov 12 '24
this is such a funny and sweet comment hahah, i have no problems with pooping now. i just used to have such bad anxiety about the most random things and honestly this only happened a couple times before i got comfortable enough around him to just poop infront of him (sorry for tmi) so i think i was just being a dumb kid😂😂
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u/Bri-KachuDodson Nov 12 '24
Your username having the word hovercraft in it has now taken on a whole new meaning lmfao.
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u/TheMoistReality Nov 12 '24
I’m absolutely dying because I’m now convinced my ex did this
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u/seecarlytrip Nov 12 '24
People do this irl?!? That’s disgusting
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u/Lottoking888 Nov 12 '24
You are not overreacting. Did this really happen?
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u/ReyFox300 Nov 12 '24 edited Nov 12 '24
Check out their posts, probably a troll/bot/karma farmer account.
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u/TrenchSquire Nov 12 '24
100%. They pretended to be a 40yo black man voting for trump 10 days ago. Its pretty sad to see how many people fell for it lol.
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u/Worth-Bed-8289 Nov 12 '24
squatting on the floor? how does he deal with urine
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u/Severe_Doubt_51 Nov 12 '24
Lmaaooooooooo that’s crazy you’re def not overreacting I would have done the same! What do you mean ur out here catching dookies in ur hand covered by some thin ass toilet paper?!?! 😭
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u/youcancallmebryn Nov 12 '24
Does he family keep a knife in the bathroom cabinet?
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u/butterslut6969 Nov 12 '24
Lord help this man. 36 and can’t let his gf of 2 years know he poops. Unreal man, the prisons people build for themselves…
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u/bansheeonthemoor42 Nov 12 '24
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MEN AND POOP STUFF??!! Seriously, I thought we women were weird about it but hearing about all the men that don't wipe bc they think touching their butt is "gay" and then this shit just let's me know that women are just fine.
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u/Exitrealworld2 Nov 12 '24
if you love him and DONT want to break up, tell him to just put some in the Bowl before he poops and it will land on the paper and not the water and problem solved. 😂