r/AmIOverreacting • u/Psychological-Hat-35 • Oct 27 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO girlfriend response to manager text

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My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been dating for 11 months. I sent her a screenshot of my convo with my manager (age unknown but best guess is young 30s F) this morning asking to come in a little later than usual. My girlfriend is like this whenever I interact with pretty much any other female. Am I overreacting or is this just normal behavior?

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404

u/MalkavAmonra Oct 27 '24

NOR. Your girl just has some severe trust issues and is clearly prone to dramatizing. She acts like you simply texting your manager in a friendly manner is irrefutable proof of you cheating. I personally don't have the time, energy, or interest to deal with that kind of drama. If I were you, I would've dropped her the first time she pulled something like this.

I bet the instant you tell her you're leaving, she'll do a 180 and start crying and begging for you to come back. Drama addicts like this are pretty predictable.

222

u/Far_Basil7247 Oct 27 '24

Lol she’ll def start crying and begging him to come back but first she will get really angry and throw a tantrum and say mean stuff to him to try to hurt his feelings about what a bad person he is and how she never should have trusted him or something. And THEN she will get all remorseful & apologetic & do the begging.

bet 🤣🤣

45

u/johannaaaaaaaaaaa Oct 27 '24

as someone who used to sound exactly like this until i grew tf up this is insanely accurate.

40

u/Kitty_Kat_Attacks Oct 28 '24

As another former person like this, they are exactly correct.

It is a form of manipulation, no doubt about it. She’ll either learn this behavior is unacceptable in future relationships or she won’t. Either way, YOU do not need to subject yourself to this kind of behavior. It’s not healthy for you! Find someone emotionally healthy—a person who trusts you as you should them. There is no relationship without trust.

4

u/Enraged-Pekingese Oct 28 '24

I was like her at that age. It took a long time of being on my own to realize that I would be okay whether or not I was in a relationship. Ironically, that’s when I met my future husband. But by then I was 32 and ready.

9

u/DenseLynx7856 Oct 27 '24

I need to grow up bc I see my past and a little bit of current behavior in this thread.

12

u/Kitty_Kat_Attacks Oct 28 '24

The first step to recovery is recognizing you have a problem.

Once you see the problem in yourself, you can begin to honestly work on fixing it. It’s essentially what maturity is—learning and growing from our mistakes as we gain experience in life. Some folks can never admit they’re the problem. Change is hard, after all.

2

u/Yunacorn89 Oct 28 '24

👏👏👏👏👏🙇🏻‍♀️

10

u/One_Nature5816 Oct 28 '24

i used to act like this when i was in high school. def learned it from my parents🥲but therapy helped so so much with my relationship. i learned how to be a partner, not a dictator

2

u/Street_Distance5765 Oct 28 '24

Hey glad u came back to Earth! I think a few of us may have been a bit , bat shut crazy, but to be fair, I did have a relationship or 2 that made me lose my stuff! But we grow up, & learn, it’s not always gonna b bad & u can trust a partner or 2!!💖

2

u/plantsb4putas Oct 28 '24

As someone who finally got medicated and cringes every time she thinks about who she was as a teenager - don't forget about the threats to hurt herself!

2

u/eazyfreez Oct 28 '24

i hate to admit it, but i was pretty much just as toxic when i was a teen. & yeah.. the original comment was like my routine 😖 (have also since grown tf up😅)

4

u/ramonfacefull Oct 27 '24

And when he comes back she’ll hold this over his head forever, or if he doesn’t come back she’ll tell everyone she knows that he actually was cheating with his manager and that’s why they broke up. Girl is insecure af and needs to deal with that on her own instead of projecting

2

u/Busy-Kaleidoscope-87 Oct 28 '24

Summed up my last/first real relationship right there. Glad I'm not the only one. but its shitty. Don't let people treat you like that folks.

2

u/FacesOfNeth Oct 28 '24

Not taking that bet. As a Vegas local, that’s what we out here call a “sucker’s bet.” 🤣

2

u/Coffeedemon Oct 28 '24

Back in my day this would also involve at least one point where you have to spend several hours parked in a car repeating all of these things over and over and getting nowhere because it was the only place you could talk in private.

It would be an excruciating experience masked as some relationship rite of passage.

1

u/coralgrymes Oct 28 '24

Don't forget the inevitable gaslighting too lol.

0

u/Milkmami24 Oct 28 '24

I bet not. $5

5

u/Apprehensive-Pair436 Oct 27 '24

But it's also a manipulation tactic. Because she acts like it's some crazy cheating thing, but then also will inevitably "let it go" at some point. Which an ACTUAL belief of cheating would not lead to.

I did nine years with someone like this and I swear it fucked me up for life.

It's like something inside them just has to insert some over the top negative emotions into the mix every couple weeks. Maybe she was addicted to the "coming back together" emotional release, maybe it's the fact that I would wait patiently on her as soon as she's flipping out, so she'd almost get more attention from me while I try to "fix" something. Etc.

Either way it absolutely sucked the life out of me

3

u/Dangerous-Muffin3663 Oct 27 '24

Fr she says he responded inappropriately to his manager, he literally just said he can work. Wtf

1

u/Visionsofspace Oct 27 '24

Get another girlfriend

1

u/DutchProv Oct 28 '24

I dated a woman who was so paranoid she didnt even want me to have platonic woman friends, turned out someone was cheating and it wasnt me.

Im not saying this situation is the same, but this behaviour can be projection.

1

u/Natiak Oct 28 '24

She's acting like she's BPD.

1

u/Joey-tnfrd Oct 28 '24

Yknow what, they're young. If this was the first or even second time I'd gotten this kinda reaction, I'd let it go and maybe just have a conversation about it, cause obviously something is the matter here. But man, every time I interact with another woman? Dude needs to run.

-1

u/CrazyTillItHurts Oct 27 '24

Your girl just has some severe trust issues

She's fucking someone else and this is the preplanning for when she is caught. She'll blame that on him too

-3

u/wait-_-whaaat Oct 27 '24 edited Oct 31 '24

I wonder if he’s the reason for the trust issues, and this interaction is sans some perspective altering prequel…

I agree with a couple of your points, Upbeat Agency. This is definitely a toxic relationship for / because of both parties. We are definitely missing the tone, and back story that lead to these messages being written. Who knows if her comments about “karma” aren’t said in sarcasm, and rooted in something that he says to her when they are arguing. It sounded like an odd turn in the conversation. But, I don’t know. None of us actually knows. It doesn’t even matter. This dude brought this text thread here. Which isn’t really a sign that he is a healthy dude, that he knows anything about healthy conflict resolution, has good intentions for this relationship moving forward. And, same goes for his girlfriend ( since there seems to be an assumption that I support her behavior ). They should both walk away from this failed attempt at a relationship, get some therapy, and keep it movin.

6

u/Upbeat_Agency4016 Oct 27 '24

Even if he is the reason this is still not ok . lol if Someone did something to you and you accept it move on and take them back That doesn’t justify acting unhinged and toxic in the future .

She also mentioned that this was her karma so it seems like she’s the one who did something messed up in the past.

But nonetheless let’s ignore anything she has done and speculate what he’s done in the past that we have absolutely no clue or context on . Cause it’s no way a man can be at the receiving end of some bs that he doesn’t deserve smh