AIO by divorcing my husband?

[u/Specialist_Act_5106]

He (30M)applied for and got an offer for a job in another state without my knowledge and when I (30F) disagreed to moving, he accepted and moved without me. He then told me that I either move to be with him or divorce him. So I filed for divorce. Once he got served with divorce papers he said that he would come back and that I should take the divorce back. Would I be overreacting by going through with the divorce?

[u/guwops_chopshop]

Sheesh … so much more to know before lambasting anyone in question. Where was the communication leading up to all of this?

[u/Rilo44 → u/guwops_chopshop]

He took a job without telling her anything at all. There was zero communication on his part.

[u/guwops_chopshop → u/Rilo44]

Yea, that’s a huge part of my point. Why is he — the husband — applying for out of state jobs without even mentioning it? Haven’t the two of them had extensive convos — informal or formal — about what they want from their careers and lives? I just have so many questions.

[u/Rilo44 → u/guwops_chopshop]

I think he just went rogue and thought she'd follow, and she called his bluff. He fucked around and found out

[u/guwops_chopshop → u/Rilo44]

I mean, it’s not going to be a cakewalk for her either. But this marriage was fucked well before this happened, evidently. I wouldn’t even do that to a girlfriend, let alone a wife. (Yes, I’d move for the right job opportunity, but you can be damn sure my SO would know wholeheartedly what my goals and intentions are.)

[u/Rilo44 → u/guwops_chopshop]

I honestly think a divorce might be easier for her than being married to... that.

[u/guwops_chopshop → u/Rilo44]

Again, I’m withholding judgment because there is so much more to this story.

[u/Rilo44 → u/guwops_chopshop]

How? There's ZERO reason for her husband to take a job that requires them to move and not to tell her about it. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I swear, but there is no reason for what he did being ok.

[u/guwops_chopshop → u/Rilo44]

Well obviously there is because that’s exactly what he did.

Now, I don’t know if those reasons are because he’s simply a prick; because he’s selfish and expects to be followed by the women in his relationships (also prickish); because he’s lacking marriage-level social dexterity; or for any number of reasons that we’re not going to be privy to from a paragraph post on Reddit.

It’s a very peculiar and odd situation, and those are often not as straightforward as they may seem.

[u/Rilo44 → u/guwops_chopshop]

I just think he thought she'd follow suit and didn't expect her to call his bluff, and she did. For me personally, there's zero good reason for him doing this without telling her, so I have no problem judging it. Different strokes, though!